All I Want Chapter 1: Default Chapter, a harry potter fanfic

A/N: This story runs semi-parallel to my other fic "Never is a Promise," but you do not have to read that in order to get this. This will be a Severus/? Fic. It's not slash, and it's not a student. Beyond that I will leave you to discover. It will waver somewhere between PG-13 and R, depending on how I'm feeling. Please read and drop any constructive reviews, I really appreciate them.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K Rowling. Inspiration from such greats as Strega Brava, Lilith Morgana, Damiana, and Emmy from ff.n, and Riley, Abby, Clare, and Domina, from witchfics.org. No infringement upon JK or any other author is intended.

Many thanks to all of my reviewers for "NiaP." This story is dedicated to Squin, who makes me a better writer, and a better person.

all i want

nothing's so loud
as hearing when we lie
the truth is not kind
and you've said neither am i
but the air outside so soft is saying everything
everything

all i want is to feel this way
to be this close, to feel the same
all i want is to feel this way
the evening speaks, i feel it say...

nothing's so cold
as closing the heart when all we need
is to free the soul
but we wouldn't be that brave i know
and the air outside so soft, confessing everything
everything

and it won't matter now
whatever happens to me
though the air speaks of all we'll never be
it won't trouble me

and it feels so close
let it take me in
let it hold me so
i can feel it say...

"Severus Snape!" an icy voice broke the concentration of the 16-year-old Slytherin student.

"Yes, ma'am?" he answered guiltily.

"Mister Snape, I have called upon you no less than five times, would you care to answer my question?"

It was Transfiguration, which Slytherin and Ravenclaw had together. Neddless to say, Severus had no idea what the question Professor McGonagall had asked was.

"Er- um. Could you repeat the question?"

"No, Mister Snape, I can not. Five points from Slytherin, I hope you'll pay more attention next time. Now, let me see… Elle, can you answer my question and assist Mister Snape over there, please?"

The dark haired girl blushed a bit, embarrassed. "The way to tell an Animagus from a regular animal is by their distinguising marks. That's one of the ways in which they're catalogued in the Registry, as well."

"Excellent, Miss MacDuffy, five points to Ravenclaw."

Severus looked down at his hands. 'Did McGonagall see me looking at her? Did anybody else notice for that matter?' he wondered. He glanced up at Lucius Malfoy, the good-looking blond sitting next to him. 'She's a Ravenclaw, Lucius'd kill me if he found out. Who am I kidding? She'd never go for a greasy git like me that trails around Lucius Malfoy.'

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"Professor Snape? Severus?!" once again, Professor McGonagall's voice invaded his thoughts.

"Oh, I'm sorry Minerva, yes?"

"Well, our meeting is over. I was wondering why you were just sitting there. School is out for summer, you CAN go."

"Of course, I must've just-"

"I daresay, I haven't seen you that glazed over since the day I caught you staring at Elle MacDuffy in Transfiguration! Was that, your sixth year?"

Snape spluttered, "Minerva, I have never stared at anyone, much less Elle MacDuffy. She was always so nosy and had to be perfect at everything, she was completely insufferable, much like our own fine Miss Granger," he replied witheringly.

"Very well, then. I'm off now, my cottage in the Highlands is calling my name! Have a good summer, Severus. And good luck."

"Thank you Minerva, enjoy the countryside."

He watched as McGonagall swept out the door. He shook his head, and stood up, leaving the conference room, and making his way down to his personal quarters in the dungeons.

He began tidying up his room when he returned, if only to pass the time. He sat down in a large chair in front of his fire, which he had bewitched to make the air cooler, as even the dungeons became quite stagnant by June. He picked up a book from his end table. He'd read Crime and Punishment many times, it was the book that first made him like Muggle authors.

"Severus?"

Snape looked up, surprised, and saw Professor Dumbledore's head floating in his fire. "Yes, sir?"

"Can you please come up to my office? We have something very important to discuss."

"Certainly Albus, I'll be right there."

Snape walked up the staircase to Dumbledore's office.

"Tootsie Pop," he said to the gargoyle, and it swung open. Snape walked quickly up the stairs, and was greeted by Fawkes in the Headmaster's office.

"Ah, Severus, thank you for coming up so quickly."

"Of course, sir, now, what's so urgent?"

"I have just received word from one of our more resourceful and accurate sources that Draco Malfoy's Induction Ceremony has been moved up. It will be taking place in about three weeks. I just thought you should know."

Snape sighed, and nodded pensively. "Thank you for telling me. How did you find this out? Almost no one is privy to the Malfoys' personal schedules."

"Ah, well, Severus, that is something which is not important to know right now. But, we do need to explore Draco's options. I think we both know his attitude towards becoming a Death Eater. Have you been able to make any improvements with the Augmen Serpentis plant?"

"None, sir. I have been collaborating with Sprout, but neither of us can seem to figure out how to harness its magic. However, it seems like we now have a deadline looming ahead."

Dumbledore nodded. "All right, that is all I have for now. My source says that she will try to get more information, and she'll pass it along as it comes."

"She?"

"Yes, Severus, that's the pronoun one uses to refer to a woman. 'She' being my source. Is that so hard to believe?" Dumbledore gave Snape a little smile.

"Oh, of course not sir. I'll be off now, thank you Albus."

"Of course, Severus. Good luck!"

Snape began his walk back down to the dungeons. On his way down, he almost fell and tripped on one of the disappearing stairs. How well he remembered the day he was not so lucky.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Oof!" Severus stepped through the disappearing stair. He tried to regain his balance, but soon saw the world spinning as he toppled down the staircase. 'Please tell me no one saw that.' The unmistakeable sound of giggling girls came to his ears. 'Damn.'

He stood up as quickly as he could, and brushed himself off. Snape then turned to the task of collecting his parchments that were strewn across the floor.

"Do you need any help?"

Snape looked up, and found himself staring in to two bright blue eyes. He immediately felt a flush creeping in to his face.

"Errr," he stammered, "No thank you, I'll be fine."

"Oh, ok. See you around then." Snape watched her dark hair swish as she turned and went back to her gaggle of Ravenclaw and Gryffindor friends.

"Ellie," he could hear one of them hiss, "Why would you ask Severus Snape if he needs help? He's just a scummy Death Eater that sucks any popularity right from Lucius Malfoy."

"Too bad he couldn't suck some good looks off of Lucius Malfoy!" another laughed.

'Stupid girls. Well, when I finally AM a Death Eater, I won't have to worry about them, I'll be occupied with much more important things. At least when I'm working for the Dark Lord, I won't have to worry about that twit Elle MacDuffy or her asinine friends.'

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"Hmm." Snape wondered aloud to himself, "I wonder what ever happened to Elle MacDuffy. She's probably had some fine Ravenclaw children by now. I don't recall her ever working for the Ministry. Kind of a shame, she had the top grades in Ravenclaw, if I remember correctly. But, then again, Ravenclaws were never worth much of anything."

Snape entered his room, and sat down at his desk. He gazed down at the piles of Herbology and Muggle botany books he had littered about his desk.

"Best get down to work, I suppose," he muttered, and began reading.

A few hours later, he falt as though his eyes were about to fall out of their sockets, so Severus decided to take a walk. He placed a locking charm on his door, and left to wander aimlessly.

Severus Snape loved roaming the corridors of Hogwarts, but could never find time for it when school was in session. It gave him time to think, which came more easily to him while he was performing a simple, repetative motion, such as walking. As he wandered the halls, he let thoughts fill his head.

'Why am I doing this? I could just have someone become my secret-keeper, and disappear. But, of course, that didn't really work for the Potters. Plus, Dumbledore is the only man who trusts me, well, besides Voledmort, and it's not very flattering to say that the Dark Lord trusts you, now is it? And NOW I have to keep attending the Death Eater events, report back to Dumbledore, and help out young Mister Malfoy, which will not be easy. I just had to be in Slytherin, didn't I ? Well, "Snape, Severus… Hufflepuff" doesn't quite seem right anyway… Why do I bother blaming this on anyone but myself, it IS my sole fault after all. The evil Snape wallowing in self-pity… wouldn't Potter and his pathetic little friends love to see this.'

Snape suddenly gasped aloud, as a sharp pain came from his arm. He pulled his sleeve back, the Dark Mark was black.

"Damn," he muttered, and turned to walk to the Headmaster's office.

"Tootsie pop," he angrily hissed to the gargoyle, and he went upstairs. Dumbledore was still sitting at his desk.

"Yes, Severus?"

He thrust his arm forward, grimacing, "I have to go to Hogsmeade and apparate. I just wanted to tell you before I left. I must leave now, so he doesn't suspect."

"Of, course, Severus, good luck."

Snape nodded curtly, and swept back out of the office. He proceeded briskly down to the statue of the old witch.

"Dissendio." He squeezed in through the hump.

"And Potter still thinks he's the only one who knows," he said, allowing himself a small chuckle.

As soon as he stepped out of the tunnel into the Honeyduke's basement, Snape apparated.

In an instant, he was standing outside Malfoy Manor. Making his way quickly to the door, he knocked. A house elf soon creaked the door open.

"May Edie ask who calls on Master Malfoy, sir?"

"Severus Snape, elf, make haste!" he spat to the elf, feigning urgency. The elf bowed and disappeared back into the house, returning a few moments later.

"Please follow Edie, sir."

He followed the elf into a large library, and she promptly disappeared. Severus glanced around the shelves hastily.

"Ah," he said knowingly, and he tipped back a leather-bound copy of Salazar's Selections: Memoirs of a Slytherin and a concealed door swung open. He walked down the narrow corridor, and out into a room lit dimly by firelight.

Sitting in the middle, on a large chair, was Lord Voldemort, Wormtail was snivelling at his feet. Lucius was standing next to the chair with Draco next to him. His hand was on his son's shoulder, and Lucius was smirking evilly.

"Ah, Severus, so glad you could make it quickly," Lucius said smoothly. "We thought you'd like to be here for this discussion."

Snape bowed shortly to Lucius, and then knelt in front of Voldemort.

"My Lord," he muttered.

"Get up Severus, I have enough grovelling from Wormtail. We're here to discuss Mister Malfoy."

Of course, Snape knew what was coming, but he furrowed his brow and asked, "You, Lucius?"

Lucius shook his head, and smiled smugly, "No, Draco."

"We invited you to tell you that young Mister Malfoy will be inducted into our noble ranks in three weeks time. Your presence is expected at the ceremony. It will be invite-only." Voldemort told him.

Snape nodded, "Of course I will be there, my Lord."

Voldemort looked at Snape with a bit of disdain, "That is all, you may return to that spineless excuse for a Headmaster now, Severus. I will call you if you're needed further."

Snape nodded, and turned to Draco. "Congratulations, Draco," he said, feeling sick to his stomach.

Draco choked out "Thank you, sir," with a look in his eyes that Snape clearly recognized.

Snape stared at Draco for a moment, and nodded briefly, almost unnoticeably, and went back through the dark passage way.

A/N: So, there you have it, Chapter 1! Please R/R. I will not get these chapters out as quickly as "Never is a Promise," that's just mindless fluff, but this one will (hopefully) be much better written. Any input is gladly accepted. Please feel free to email me at KnL837@yahoo.com. Thank you much.