Title: Tears (1/2): Story 4 in the Wherever You Will Go series

Author(s): Demelza and X_tremeroswellian

Emails: demelza81@yahoo.co.nz and X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: They are not ours. Don't sue. The songs Let Me Fall by Josh Groban and Cry a River by Amy Grant are also not ours, we just borrowed the lyrics.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Up through and including The Unforgiven.

Summary: Bosco and Faith reflect on the events of the past two days.

Author's Note: This is the fourth story in a series of Third Watch fics we're writing titled "Wherever You Will Go." The first one is "Confessions," the second is Here With Me and the third is You may want to read that one first before continuing. We are working on developing an archive for these fics to make them more accessible for everyone.

Tears (Part One)

Bosco's shift ended around quarter past eleven. He'd worked the rest of his shift with Gusler, a few times he had even bit the younger officer's head off, unintentionally. But he was so pissed off inside, pissed off about the entire situation between him and Faith.

His heart raced at the thought of her name, as he reclined against the back of the sofa in his living room. But then those stabbing words, maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do.' What had she meant? He wanted to know, he even pressed her to tell him, but his words had just made the situation between them worse. You idiot, Boscorelli, he cursed himself.

In his bid to show Faith how much he cared, that he would be there for her, and always there to listen, he had ended up not only hurting their relationship, but also hurting her. By his own words he was so blind to see the pain filled tears she was shedding right in front of him. He just wanted to reaffirm his love for her, have her understand and know that she wasn't happy in her marriage to Fred that he didn't even hear the painfully spoken pitches in her voice.

He closed his eyes, the silence beating him with more memories of the past two days. Their online conversation about her unhappiness, Faith's unwillingness to talk to him for even a moment at work, and then when they were in the elevator. His mind flashed with vivid recollection of her words, If you knew how messed up I really was you wouldn't say that.' But he had meant it when he said she was the best thing that had ever happened in his life.

Let me fall
Let me climb
There's a moment when fear
And dreams must collide

Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear them

Bosco slowly opened his eyes. Fresh tears flowing unevenly from them as he remembered.

That's what I love about you, Faith... you're not like Nicole, you're not like any of those other wannabe's... you're you. You're Faith.' He'd told her, it was every bit of truth he felt.

But came her painful words back, You don't love me.'

Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix may
Or may not rise

I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these
Useless fears and chains

She doubted his words, and believed her own. She believed he didn't love her, claiming that his words of love were just a disguised variation of the security he was desperately holding onto, so that he wouldn't need to find someone else to share his life with, someone he really *did* love.

I do love you, Faith, he thought, closing his eyes again, forcing more tears from his eyes.

End Part 1