A/N: Helloooo, this if my first fic on this profile. Trust me, you can head over to Cigs and Papahs if you want some proof. I've had this story in mind for YEARS. It's kind of a newsie/peter pan cross. This takes place late 1800s in New York on the streets. You don't have to be familiar with Newsies to read.

Prologue: Summer Nightmares

Since you've gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace

I keep crying baby, baby, please

Every Breathe You Take- The Police

My eyes shot open. I could feel myself alone in the bed I lay, my body and hair matted with sweat. I had done great for months now. No nightmares, no waking up with tears freely flowing down my face. Something had changed. There was no way he was back. He was never coming back. I slowly sat up, groggy from sleep. No sign that David had left, but I know he had because he wasn't in the small apartment. Maybe that was why I was having the terrible dreams. The small apartment wasn't much; just a bed, a couple of chair, a dining room table, a dresser and a kitchen. Pathetic, but it was all we could do.

I listened to the noises of New York coming from the open window when a noise came from the fire escape. I jumped out of bed, my nightgown flowing around me as I rushed toward the window. I stuck my head out the window, staring down. Nothing. No one. How could it be? I felt stupid. What a childish thing to think.

I pulled away from the window and began sobbing. What this boy had done to me wasn't right. What he did to the boys wasn't right. What he did to my brothers wasn't right.

Why couldn't he have just passed by?

But now he was just a ghost of my past.

I don't give myself this pleasure often. Believe me, I rarely think of him anymore. I have no reason. I have David and he's just wonderful. But today. I will myself one last time. One last time to think of the boy that made me and then ruined me. One more thought through the journey that I had taken with him.

He will forever think he's a boy.

But I know he's a man.