DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Degrassi or any of it's amazing characters. I DO however, own the plot of this story.
Clare ran over to Alli as soon as she saw her get out of her brother, Sav's, Chevy Avalanche. Alli took one look at Clare and pulled her into a tight embrace, she knew everything that had gone on over winter break and she didn't want to bring it up at school.
"You know I'm here if you want to talk." Alli reassured her. Clare nodded as memories exploded behind her eyes like fireworks across the Fourth of July sky.
The night that they broke up was horrendous in as many ways as was humanly possible. The last conversation that she had with him was playing through her mind.
"Eli, you're suffocating me! I never see my friends anymore, I'm always either with you or talking to you and it's killing me!" He shook his head, he didn't want to hear it, and he couldn't believe what she was saying. He turned and walked away from her, not wanting to hear anything else she might have to say.
She chased after him though, not wanting him to walk away without finishing what she had to say. She wanted him to know how she felt about the entire situation and she wanted to make sure he heard what she had to say.
"Eli!" she called after him. He didn't stop, he didn't want to hear anything else she wanted to say.
"ELI!" He turned around and she almost ran into him.
"What could you possibly want?" She flinched at the venom that was seeping through his voice. It surprised himself even; he didn't expect his voice to sound the way it did.
"I want to say this so you know. You're manipulating me, Eli. I think we need to break up."
"No, we don't." He breathed out. His voice was extremely soft.
"Yes, we do, Eli. You have things you still need to sort out and it isn't healthy for either of us to be in a relationship like this." He shook his head again and took off running; he didn't want to hear any more of it.
She felt empty for weeks and months after her falling out and break up with Eli. She now realized that she was the one who was suffocating herself; she was the one that always wanted to be with Eli, who felt safe when she was talking to him constantly.
Clare was alone in her house for the weekend, for it was neither of her parents weekends to be with her, it was the one she requested to have alone a month, so she and Eli could have some alone time. It was this weekend that had driven her nuts for the past two months. Alli wasn't allowed to sleep over after everything her parents had found out she had done when they reviewed her file and Jenna had a little newborn baby girl to take care of so she was out of the question as well.
She was starting to regret breaking up with Eli but she knew that it was something that they both needed. He still wasn't over his dead ex-girlfriend and she was tired of everything they did being about Julia. Clare knew that it was better for her as well because she never really saw her friends or did anything she wanted to when she was with Eli because they always wanted to be together and their interests were completely different.
Clare looked around her room and that was when she saw it. She walked over to her closet door and gently lifted the leather jacket up off of the door knob.
"Why do I still have this?" she whispered to herself. It was Eli's jacket, the one he loved so much. The one he gave her willingly the night of the dance where everything started to go downhill.
The jacket felt cool in her hands as the leather was only warm when it was on someone. Memories of that night flickered through her mind.
The dance had been over for hours and she didn't have a curfew that weekend, it was her 'Clare time' weekend. Eli had taken her for a ride in the hearse after the dance and they ended up parking on a beach.
Eli had gotten out of the car and laid his beloved leather jacket on the hood of Morty, his beloved hearse, before going around and opening Clare's door for her. She smiled and took a hold of his hand so he could help her out of the hearse. Clare had taken her heels off and tossed them into the back of Morty as soon as she had gotten in after the dance, her feet where killing her after being on them for five hours.
"Come lay on the hood with me, look how beautiful the stars are." Eli spoke softly as he led her to the front of the hearse. He took her gently by the waist and raised her so she could sit on the hood of Morty, he didn't want her to hurt herself with her bare feet and all.
Clare lay back on the jacket that was under her and smiled. Eli hopped up next to her and rested his head beside her.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she asked as she intertwined her fingers with his.
"Yes, it is beautiful, but it isn't as beautiful as you are, blue eyes."
Eli leaned up on his elbow and situated himself so he was hovering over her. A soft smile played on his lips as he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips.
Clare shook herself out of her thoughts. It wasn't until then that she realized that she was crying. She held the jacket tight to her chest, wishing it was him that she was holding rather than a lifeless leather jacket.
She sat gingerly on her bed, tears pouring down her cheeks. She knew that she was in the wrong when she broke up with him. She knew that she had hurt him terribly, but she also knew that it was going to help her in the long run.
She opened her bed side table drawer and took out what most people would call their 'ex-box'; that one shoe box that contains everything from your most recent ex-boyfriend. The one shoe box that now contained half of Clare's heart. She sifted through the photos for the one that she knew would break her more, but it was the one that she felt she needed to see.
Clare soon found the photo she was looking for wedged between ticket stubs and a package of ear rings that Eli had given her when she talked him into getting the cartilage at the top if his ear pierced with her. It was one of them in the auditorium of their school. Eli had his arm around her shoulders and they were facing each other, smiling like children on Christmas Morning.
It was a picture that both twanged her with hurt but showed her just how much they loved each other, and it made her realize that even though she was regretting the decision that she made, that it was for the best of the both of them.
She tucked the picture back into the box and then tucked the box back into the drawer she had taken it out of. Clare picked the jacket back up and thought for a moment. She knew it was Eli's favorite item of clothing. She decided it was something that she needed to return to him.
Clare nodded to herself when she made the decision to bring the jacket back to his house. She thought that it might hurt both of them emotionally, but it was something that she needed to do if she was going to get over what she had had with Eli.
She pulled her bike out of her garage but decided against it and pushed it back into the garage. She decided that walking would be better for her. She knew where she was going and she knew that walking would give her more time to think, more time to emotionally prepare her for what might happen.
Clare thought it would take her longer than it actually did to get to Eli's place. She couldn't help but laugh at what was now his little Chevy in the driveway. Neither of his parents' cars were in the driveway nor on the street so she knew he was either home alone or home with Adam, if he was even allowed to have friends over after that little stunt he pulled crashing his hearse.
She took a deep breath before walking up to the Goldsworthy's front door. She didn't want to knock; she didn't want to ring the door bell, she didn't want to face the reality that will be waiting on the other side of the door. Clare finally knocked on the door after a couple minutes of contemplation.
He answered as her knuckles hit the door a second time. She knew he had to of been standing right near the door when she wrapped her knuckles on the door the first time.
Clare stared at Eli, not entirely sure of what to say or do. She knew right then and there that she hadn't prepared herself well enough and that she was not emotionally strong enough to do what she was about to do.
"Clare? What are you doing here?" His voice was soft. It reflected the hurt that he felt; the hurt that she had caused him.
"I was um…" she stumbled over her words. She knew what she wanted to say, she was just having a terrible time telling him.
Eli's eyebrows furrowed together. He was as confused as she seemed to be.
"I was in my room and I saw that I still had this…" her voice trailed off as she held out the jacket to him. He took it, his hand gently brushing against hers as she pulled her hand back.
"Why'd you bring it back, Clare? I gave this to you." His voice was even more hurt now that he held the one thing in his hands that he thought she would never give back.
"I don't want it, Eli. If I keep it…I…I won't be able to move on. It will hold me back." A single tear rolled down her cheek as she tore her own heart into pieces.
"But I gave this to you, Clare. Don't think of it as mine….think of it as a simple memory of something good.
Eli handed the jacket back to her, he didn't want it, and it would just be another heart breaking memory in his life.
Clare took it into her grasp but shook her head. She didn't want it and if she was to keep it then she wouldn't be able to move on, to forget.
Eli suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace, one that she couldn't keep from breaking down in. It was the one embrace that she missed, the one embrace that she was glad to be in. She wrapped her arms tightly around his torso, taking a deep breath and pulling in his scent, the scent that used to drive her crazy.
"I miss you, Clare." He whispered. Her tears were soaking his shirt as she found her voice.
"I miss you too, Eli. I miss you more than anything."
Eli pulled back from the embrace and took Clare's cheeks into his palms. His rough skinned thumbs ran under her eyes, flicking away the tears.
"Why did we end on this bad note, Clare? What possessed you to do what you did?" Clare shrugged.
"I knew you had things to sort out and I knew that a lot of the things that went on between us had to do with Julia and it wasn't something that I wanted to ruin what relationship we could have had."
Eli nodded, he understood completely.
"I've had time, Clare. I've sorted through everything. I'm on meds for my bi-polar disorder and I'm going to a therapist. My hoarding is even non-existent now." Clare smiled. She was glad that Eli's life was getting back into the order that it should have been in to begin with.
"I love you, Clare. I love you with all my heart. I can't stand being away from you anymore. Please, give me another chance. I won't be a crazy psychopath again. I promise you. Just give me another chance to prove it."
Clare thought for a minute before responding to him. She knew exactly what she wanted and it was the same as what he was asking for. A second chance was something that she thought might be good for them; to start off fresh with a clean slate.
"Then ask me, Eli." His brows arched. He couldn't believe what she was going to do.
"Clare, will you please give me a second chance to prove to you who I really am." She made a face before smiling and nodding.
"Yes, I will give you a second chance, Eli."
A huge grin spread across Eli's face and he grabbed Clare, hugging her tight and spinning her in a circle.
"Thank you so much, Clare, you don't know what this means to me. I promise you, it won't be like last time."
Eli placed a gentle kiss on Clare's lips.
She knew she was where she belonged, she was with the one person that made her life complete.
Clare had the love of her life back in her life and she couldn't be any more happy.