The unexpected undercurrent
Penny took one more look in the mirror, grabbed her bag and opened the door. She almost tripped over the prone body that lay there. "Oh great, I'm late for an audition and some drunk has decided to sleep it off on our doorway."
She stepped over the man and shut the door behind her. She would call Leonard as soon as she got to the audition and warn him. The man groaned she glanced down more intently and gasped. She dropped to her knees "Sheldon?"
Blue eyes opened and regarded her wearily.
She saw a gash on his cheek with dried blood. "What happened?"
He gritted his teeth as he gingerly sat up and wrapped a hand around his rib cage. "I got mugged by one of those dumb degenerates we share the planet with."
"Sweetie you've been gone 2 ½ months, we haven't heard a word from you and now you show up on the doorstep all beaten up. You are supposed to be on a train exploring the country."
He raised an eyebrow and sneered. "But obviously I'm not."
Same old Sheldon. Penny thought. I should just leave him and go to my audition.
Just that instance he dropped the sneer, wrapped his other arm around what she surmised to be bruised ribs and glanced up at her with wide blue eyes and disheveled dark hair -that combo made him look downright innocent.
She sighed holding her hand out to him. "Come on."
He took her hand and got to his feet but not before a cry of pain escaped him.
"So they got you in the ribs. " Penny remarked not really expecting an answer.
"Yes and they took my phone and my credit card." Sheldon responded curtly gritting his teeth.
Penny noted he had paled considerably. She took him to her apartment. She had continued to pay rent since her lease didn't expire till the end of the month and she had hoped Sheldon would contact them by then. She hoped he would to rent it.
She wondered why he didn't protest but figured the pain had overwhelmed him. She got him into her former bedroom and rolled back the covers. "Okay, get in."
He frowned. "Aren't you going to change the sheets?"
She looked at him raising an eyebrow. "Sweetie, if you don't like them you are welcome to the floor."
He gave a look of disdain as he lay down wincing on the bed.
"All right let me see." She sat on the edge of the bed. He looked at her warily. "Come on strip off that shirt."
His expression didn't change. She smiled. "You've seen me practically naked that time I hurt my shoulder. I just want to check your ribs I won't grab anything else by mistake." She teased him remembering the time he was trying to help her dress with his eyes closed and grabbed her breast instead of her arm.
He bit his lip and lifted his shirt grimacing the entire time.
His ribs had a large blue streak across the right side.
"Oh sweetie," she reached down and gingerly ran her fingers over his skin.
His breathing was shallow.
"Maybe we should go the hospital. "She mused.
"No! They can't t do anything for bruised ribs they'll heal on their own." He protested.
She didn't know what it was about him; one moment she wanted to strangle him with her bare hands and the other times she enjoyed his company and quirky ways and times like now he brought out a nurturing instinct where she found herself just wanting to kiss his wounds and make it all better. She almost snorted out loud at the thought; if she actually did that he'd be horrified about all the germs she'd be inflicting on him.
"So you find my sore ribs amusing?" he asked observing her.
"Oh no sorry Sheldon I was just thinking of something else."
"Well I'm glad you are finding ways to amuse yourself while I'm lying here suffering." He remarked pitifully.
She sat back. "Would you like me to sing 'Soft Kitty' to you?"
His eyes narrowed. "I'm not sick."
"I know but when I dislocated my shoulder you sang it for me."
"You made me" he responded sulking.
She laughed. "How exactly did I do that?"
"You pouted." He said accusingly.
She grinned with delight. "Oh so you aren't immune to my charms?"
He looked unsettled. "I didn't say that."
She wiggled closer so she could bring her legs on the bed and sit cross-legged. "Pretty much implied."
He went to protest and pulled himself up only to gasp and collapse back against the pillows.
Penny stopped teasing him; she went into the bathroom and grabbed a Tylenol 3 that she had left over from her injury along with a bottle of water.
"Here." She handed it to him.
He looked at her suspiciously.
"Sheldon, it's just Tylenol."
He grinned briefly, "How do I know you aren't slipping me a ruffie so you can have your way with me?"
"Trust me sweetie, that isn't my intention." She responded with amusement in her voice.
He glared at her and then took it. While he was drinking she went into the bathroom again and grabbed a cloth soaked in warm water and hydrogen peroxide.
"What's that for?" he asked regarding the cloth with apprehension.
The devil came out in Penny again she responded with a straight face. "You're filthy I was going to give you a sponge bath."
His mouth dropped open and before a tirade of protests could begin she burst out laughing. "I'm sorry I couldn't resist - you should have seen the look on your face."
He didn't respond and guilt settled over her as she realized again just how exhausted he looked. "Here this is just to wipe the dried blood off your cheek."
He glanced at her briefly with that childlike look again and without protest or flinching let her wipe away the blood.
That pain pill will kick in soon and you'll feel much better. Do you want me to call Amy?" Penny offered."
"No," He responded in a small voice. "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"
She thought wistfully of her audition that she had zero chance of getting to now and responded. "Of course."
Something bothered her about him and she couldn't quite figure it out. Perhaps it was because he'd been mugged but seemed to be taking it relatively calmly. Or something in his eyes something he hadn't revealed yet. He hadn't said much of anything about his time away she hoped nothing bad had happened to him. He looked at her again, smiled and said softly. "Thank you Penny."
"You're welcome Sheldon." She impulsively reached over and squeezed his hand. She was surprised when he squeezed it back
Just then her cell rang. She dove into her purse and answered it. It was her agent furious that she wasn't at the audition. "I know I'm so sorry but I had a family emergency, I was just on my way out when it happened.' Her agent's tone softened and she assured her if they did another round she'd try and get her in. Penny thanked her and turned back to Sheldon who was frowning.
"You missed an audition because of me?"
She shrugged. "It's okay. You are my friend and you come first.'
He smirked slightly. "You said family so that means you think of me as family.'
She rolled her eyes. "It's just an expression.'
"No not really, "Oh my Lord' is an expression." he insisted.
Exasperated she conceded. "Okay fine you are family like an annoying pestering brother!"
He made a face. "I'm hardly your brother. I think you think of me as more than a brother. Why when I helped you - you were almost naked, I did things a brother wouldn't do - it would practically have been incest."
She laughed. "Seriously Sheldon it's not like we kissed and had sex."
"No I suppose not but it was close. I thought we'd been quite intimate." He calmly stated.
She gaped at him. He never failed to surprise her; that Christmas when had hugged her and when he leant her money, and his observations now. Maybe she could see little glimpses of why Amy adored him so deeply. She sat on the edge of the bed and realized just how much she adored him as well and how much she had missed him; this tall man child loaded down with so many idiosyncrasies mostly of his own making.
"You've grown remarkably quiet what are you thinking?" he asked peering intently at her.
"That you need some sleep.'
He shook his head. "I'm feeling much better and I don't want to sleep.'
"No honey those are the drugs talking, once they wear off you'll be in pain again."
"All the more reason not to waste time while I'm feeling good. Shall we play Klingon Boggle?" he looked hopeful.
"No. if you aren't sleepy why don't you tell me about the last 2 ½ months? What did you do, where did you go? Did you have any fun adventures?" Penny inquired.
He looked alarmed and remained silent. He broke eye contact with her and gingerly lay back against the pillow. "I had some enjoyable times the first two months. I went to the Grand Canyon and monument valley in Arizona, ...and then I went home to Texas."
"So you visited with your family?"
His eyes looked haunted as he glanced at her then away again. "You were right I should get some sleep I'm feeling very tired." He turned away from her.
She frowned. Something had definitely happened and it was obvious it was the last thing he wanted to talk about. Knowing Sheldon it had something to do with feelings or emotions. Something maybe he was embarrassed to share. She got up and whispered "Sweet Dreams, Shelly."
She went back to her and Leonard's apartment but he had left for work. She started loading the dishwasher wondering what had happened to Sheldon.
As the machine cleaned she dug through Sheldon's room and found pajamas and a robe. She checked on him again an hour later and found him in her kitchen making tea.
"Hey I brought you some pj's."
"Thank you Penny." He gazed at her again with that vulnerable look like he wanted to say something but couldn't decide if he would.
"Is there something you want to tell me?' she asked carefully.
"Yes, you really should wash your dishes better. I found a mug that was all brown with tea stains inside. It's soaking in your sink. Germs and bacteria can form on your dishes when they aren't properly sterilized."
That wasn't what she had expected yet very much like typical Sheldon.
"Are you upset that Leonard and I are living in what is technically your apartment?" She blurted out. The thought had crossed her mind countless times while he was away. Leonard had expressed the same thought that perhaps they hadn't been fair even suggesting it. "You know we thought we could switch, you could take mine and we could take yours because its bigger and better suited for two people. My apartment is really nice we thought you'd like it and that way we could all still be across the hallway from each other. But if its bothering you so much you can have it back? We just want you to be happy."
He froze with mug in hand.
"Sheldon?'
His voice was practically a whisper. "I don't like change – I don't know how to deal with it. You two just thought it was fine to take the apartment, then…" he looked totally anguished and Penny had a flashback to when she had made light of the destruction of his robot and the funeral he had planned for it. He looked just like that if not more upset now. She had apologized to him and comforted him then but she didn't know what to do now. He turned quickly and went back to the bedroom as fast as his aching ribs allowed. He shut the door.
She took a deep breath. There were times in the past Sheldon could be overdramatic but this didn't feel like one of those times. Something genuinely had upset him… something big.
She went over to his door and knocked. "Sheldon?" No answer, she did it again and a third time.
He opened it leaning on the doorframe. She froze.
His eyes were glassy, he blinked rapidly and took a shaky breath then turned back to stretch out on the bed.
Her heart ached just looking at him. It wasn't the first time she had ever seen him teary eyed, he was full out sobbing when he ran lines with her and somehow got carried away improvising, also when he couldn't go to Comic Com and hadn't seen the Star Trek movie. But this was different. He had been like a disappointed child back then, whatever had him upset this time ran deeper and hurt more.
She said softly, "Sheldon whatever it is…you can trust me. If you don't want the others to know I swear I won't tell them."
He squeezed his eyes shut and a hand came over his face.
She sat down beside him by his legs, facing him. She wanted to comfort him but even though he had improved she still knew how much he generally hated being touched she hesitated.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?'
He took a deep breath and seemed to get himself under control again.
He started speaking in a very monotone voice. "When I was in Arizona a call came through from my mother informing me that Meemaw had had a stroke. I took the next plane but by the time I got there it was too late. She was gone."
"Oh Sheldon, I am so sorry. I know how much she meant to you." Her heart went out to him.
"Penny, it doesn't seem real." He took a shaky breath. "I saw her lying dead in the funeral home…but she didn't look dead, she just looked like she had been sleeping. I was there when everyone said nice things about her, I saw her coffin being put in the ground and the dirt being shoveled on top of it, I put flowers on her grave but I still don't think she's dead.' His voice hitched near the end.
"Have you cried?' she asked softly.
He made eye contact with her for moment then looked away again. "What good would that do?"
"It's just what people do to grieve, to say goodbye, to let the sadness wash over you because the person you love isn't in your life anymore." She said clasping his hand.
He bit his lower lip. "I can't. If I cry it will be like giving up, like admitting that she is gone."
"You can keep pretending but Sweetie it won't change the fact that she is gone. You know wherever her spirit is she will always love you and you'll always be her moon pie."
Her words triggered a reaction. He looked at her with such anguish before hurling himself into her arms. The tears came then as he cried on her shoulder. She held him tightly. A few moments later he pulled back out of her arms wiping at his face with his sleeves. If she lived to be a hundred she could never explain exactly why she did what she did next. maybe it was her way of comforting him, maybe she wanted to let him know she cared, maybe she just wanted to distract him from all the hurt, maybe she had always been curious what it would be like but Penny suddenly found herself stroking his cheek and then leaning in and kissing his lips.
He froze for a moment but didn't pull away, and then as if a trigger in him had been activated he started kissing her back hungrily - desperately, grabbing her hair with his one hand and her waist with the other. Pleasurable chills shot down Penny's spine. Then Sheldon pulled back. He looked at her startled with reddened eyes, tearstained cheeks and kiss swollen lips.
She stared back at him equally startled. She hadn't expected this, never in a million years had she expected to ever be kissing Sheldon Cooper even more unexpected was how he had made her feel, that she had found herself wanting to throw him back on the bed and following through on the feelings he had ignited in her.
She shook her head suddenly remembering Leonard. "That shouldn't have happened. Leonard, Amy.'
Sheldon's heart pounded, he felt flushed and … other things. He had enjoyed kissing Amy but it had been nothing like this – this all consuming need – with Penny of all people.
"Thank you for…." He paused not knowing what to say next.
"I kissed you to distract you, you were hurting so much and I couldn't stand it, I … I just…" She grasped at the first thing that made sense.
Surprisingly he suddenly smiled softly. "It worked. You distracted me."
Penny groaned. "What would your Meemaw say if she saw that?"
He grew pensive for a moment. "I think she'd be smiling knowing I have such a good friend who would even resort to kissing me to make me feel better."
Penny smiled faintly. "Oh Sheldon." She wrapped her arms around him again stroking his back. "I'm so sorry you are going through this and that it hurts so much. All I can tell you is that it will get better over time. You'll never stop missing her but it won't hurt as much as it does now."
His arms closed tightly around her too. His head dropped to her shoulder. Her hair ticked his nose but it smelled good, he realized she was using green apple shampoo again. As they both pulled back Sheldon kissed her on the cheek like she had kissed him when he left, and hoarsely whispered "thank you." Faces within inches of each other they looked into each others eyes and suddenly Sheldon's lips came down on hers again. Soft, hesitant then with more confidence. She kissed him back; she couldn't seem to not to. It felt so good. He pulled back then. "I'm sorry…I. "He took a shaky breath. "I guess I wanted to thank you."
She laughed shakily. "I think we better stop thanking each other and trying to make each other feel better."
"I think we can keep doing that but maybe by exploring a different method. Perhaps Klingon boggle?" He suggested.
She moved back laughing. "Okay you win. I'll go get it."
He sat back against the headboard smiling.
She went back to the apartment and grabbed the game. Her heart was still racing and her head felt like it was in a fog. He looked serious when she came back.
"Penny, I think we shouldn't tell Amy or Leonard about this. .. they would just be upset and it's not like we're suddenly going to break up with them and be together. Right." His face was expressionless.
"No of course not, it was just a momentary thing. If you can keep it a secret my lips are sealed."
His eyes dropped to her lips for a moment, he blushed slightly and responded. "Good then, my lips are sealed as well.'
Penny found her gaze resting on his lips, who would have thought innocent inexperienced Sheldon could kiss so passionately. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Okay let's play this game."
They smiled at each other. Penny noticed a little glint in Sheldon's eyes that she had never seen before; when she looked again it was gone. Perhaps she had just imagined it.
The end
A/N: Humblest apologies if I've got the mannerisms wrong, or any names or events. I literally have just starting watching this show and have been scrambling to catch up on 7 years worth of episodes. A friend told me last year what a fun show this was but I only got around to watching it in the last month. I know Sheldon and Amy and Leonard and Penny are couples but my favourite scenes are Penny and Sheldon. I know that it will likely never be a romantic relationship on the show but hey I ship it so it will be in my mind. My favourite scene so far was Sheldon helping Penny dress. Both actors totally aced it.