The Things That Keep Us Apart

A/N: This is an AU story. The attack never happened to Carter and Lucy. They did start dating after she stopped being his student. Mark and Elizabeth did get married but didn't have Ella and Mark did die. I think that is all that you need to know for now! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter One

"Robert!" Kerry yelled down the hallway. "Robert!"

Romano sighed and turned around to face her, amused by the angry look on her face. He wondered what her problem was now. "What is it Kerry? I'm a little busy."

"Care to tell me how you managed to convince the board to fund your little pet project instead of allowing the money to go to the ER?" Kerry asked as she caught up to him in the hallway.

"Pet project?" He laughed. "You consider a new multi-million dollar research center attached to County a pet project?"

"Yes. I do." Kerry nodded. "That money could have been better spent on renovating the ER and providing more services to the community. You knew I was going to go to the board once I had my plan put together but you went ahead and submitted your own plan first to spite me."

"I did no such thing." Romano argued. "This research center will allow everyone, from med students to attendings, to engage in research that could potentially save countless lives. And that will bring in more donors, which will help the hospital provide more services to the community."

"You really think many people will want to do research here? We aren't a research facility."

"That's exactly what I'm trying to change!" He exclaimed.

"I find it hard to believe that this is a sincere way for you to help the hospital. I believe this a way for you to ingratiate yourself farther with the board." Kerry protested. "That money…"

"That money was donated anonymously and the board was told to do whatever they wanted with it." Romano argued. "I went to the board with this idea because it is something I have been thinking about for a few years now. I can't help it if I had a plan already put together to show them and I'm sure as hell not going to apologize because the board saw the advantages and agreed to fund my idea before you were able to get your plan to them."

"You're an ass, Robert." Kerry yelled.

"Thank you Kerry for keeping it classy as always." Romano chuckled. "But while you don't like my plan for the research center, I'm sure you will like my choice for the director."

"Who did you manage to con into taking the job?" Kerry chuckled. "I'm surprised you didn't recommend yourself for the job and name the whole thing after yourself."

"Are we done here?" Romano sighed. He changed his mind and decided not to tell her who was coming to run it. "I actually do have work to do and I would assume you do as well." Without waiting for her to reply, he turned around and continued to walk away from her. He saw Elizabeth standing at the nurses' station and smiled.

"So another showdown with Kerry?" Elizabeth chuckled.

"Yeah." He sighed. "She hates this idea for the center."

"So I heard." She told him. "Can I ask you something though?"

"Of course."

"Who did you get to take the job? You've been very secretive about it."

He smiled. He had been keeping it quiet. Only the people on the board knew who he was trying to get. Since it was a done deal now, he could tell her. "Lucy Knight."

"Really? Lucy?" Elizabeth's eyes went wide. "But isn't she still in Los Angeles?"

"Not for much longer." He chuckled.

"But how did you manage to get Lucy to come back here?" Elizabeth asked. "She has won awards for her research. She could probably get a job anywhere. Just what did you offer her to get her to come here?"

"I only offered her what she deserved." He told her. "She is excited about this project."

"You know who will be excited about her return?" Elizabeth chuckled.

"Dr. Carter." He sighed, rolling his eyes. "Ugh. Don't remind me. Besides, isn't he still dating Abby?"

"No. Where have you been?" She shook her head. "They broke up about three months ago."

"Crap." He sighed.

"What exactly do you have against Carter? I thought they made an adorable couple during her surgical residency."

"I don't think he is good enough for Lucy." He stated.

"I know you have always had a soft spot for Lucy, but I think that is for her to decide."

"One could argue she already decided that when she left for LA instead of marrying him." He pointed out. "Anyway, you want to go grab some lunch?"

"Sure." She smiled. "You're buying this time."

He laughed. "Of course I am."

Lucy sighed as she packed up the rest of her office and looked out the window. She would miss several things about living in LA. The sunshine and warm temperatures would be at the top of her list. Her co-workers were nice enough, but she never felt like she clicked with them like she did with her co-workers in Chicago. That was one of the reasons she decided to go back there. She missed the comradery. She thought back to a day a couple of weeks ago when she was in this office and how it changed everything.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" She said, not looking up to see who it was. "Please make it quick. I'm kind of swamped today."

"Do you have any time for an old friend?"

Lucy looked up and smiled as she saw Dr. Romano standing in front of her desk. "Oh my God! Of course I do!" She quickly got up and walked around the desk to give him a hug. "But what are you doing here? Is everything ok?"

"Are you having relationship problems with Elizabeth?" She knew that he had started to date Elizabeth a year ago. Every once and a while he would ask her for her female opinion about how to handle the relationship since Elizabeth was a widower and he wanted to be respectful of that.

"Everything is fine. Lizzie and I are doing well. I came because I have a proposition for you." He said.

She motioned for him to sit down and then went back to her seat. "Should I be afraid?" She chuckled.

"No." He smiled. "County General has become the beneficiary of a ten million dollar anonymous donation."

"Wow." She was impressed by that. "That's amazing."

"You haven't even heard the most amazing part." He boasted. "The board has approved my plan for the money."

"That's wonderful!" She smiled. "What was your plan?"

"A research center." He explained. "I want to start the biggest, best research center in Chicago…maybe even in Illinois."

"That sounds very ambitious considering County doesn't have much of a research program set up." She told him.

"I know." Romano nodded. "That was the main reason why we lost you to LA."

It was true. After Lucy finished her rotations, she switched her focus to a surgical residency. Early on, she had an idea for a trauma research study she was interested in pursuing. Romano was on board with it and would have helped her out, but the review board wouldn't approve it because they didn't have the money or resources to accommodate the project.

"So why did you come all the way out here to tell me about your plan?" She asked, curiosity getting the better of her. He could have Skyped her sent an email. He was up to something.

"I want you to run the center." He explained.

She started to laugh. "That's…that's just…" She then looked at his face. This wasn't a joke, like she first thought. He was serious. It now made sense why he came out here. "Noooo…no no no no no…"

"Hear me out." He said with a chuckle. "I know you are semi-happy here in LA with your warm weather, but you belong back in Chicago. You know it and I know it. You've come out here and made a great name for yourself. You're distinguished and have accomplished all that you originally set out to accomplish when you left Chicago. But there is a limit to how far up the chain you can go here, and even if you were able to get a director's job here, it would be at least fifteen to twenty years from now."

"I'm offering you what you want right now. You'd have an opportunity to actually form your own center…to build it from the ground up and make your own policies. You would be the one in control of everything. Doesn't that sound good?"

She had to admit it did sound enticing. She knew that the levels of management here and most other places were run by males who didn't think women were as capable as men. She had to work twice as hard for what she wanted here, even though she had published the most articles out of anyone here and had won awards for her work.

Being able to direct policy and have control over things sounded too good to be true.

"It isn't too good to be true." He said.

"Stop reading my mind." She laughed.

"Look, the board has approved this plan. I'm going to be opening a top notch research center. You are my first and only choice for this job. I have always believed you are destined for greatness and this is a part of that greatness. The question is, are you going to believe it too and come back? Or do I have to settle for trying to find a designer, knock-off imitation Lucy?"

"Can I have my own designated parking spot and a big office with a window?" She asked after a few minutes of thinking.

He smiled. "You can have anything you want if you say yes. Is it a deal?"

"It's a deal."

She swore to herself she would never go back to Chicago. But here she was, packing up her home and office so she could move across the country.

She was aware that going back to Chicago and back to County meant she would be seeing a lot of Carter again. That was both a blessing and a curse. It had been about two years since she last saw him, and they didn't end that encounter on good terms.

Lucy was walking out of the hospital and towards her car when she heard a familiar voice calling her name. She turned around and saw Carter stand up from a nearby bench. She smiled as he jogged over to her.

"Carter?" She chuckled. "What on Earth are you doing here?"

"I had the weekend off and I thought it's been a while since I've seen you. I thought I would surprise you." He smiled. "Surprise!"

She immediately gave him a hug. "It's so good to see you." She inhaled that signature Carter smell she missed while they hugged and closed her eyes.

"Are you busy this weekend?" He asked.

She pulled away and linked her arm with his. "I am now."

She turned the key to her door and opened it. Flipping the light switch turned on a few lights and she moved out of the way so Carter could come inside.

"You got a new lamp." He noticed.

"Yeah. I got it last year." She laughed.

"I guess it's been a while since I've been here."

It had actually been two years, six months and 18 days since his last visit…not that she was counting or anything. "So how are things going?"

"Fine." He shrugged.

"Really?" She smiled. "You don't normally come here when everything in your life is great."

"Nothing big is really wrong." He told her. "Just small things I guess."

"Right." She chuckled. "Ok. Well you don't have to tell me what's bothering you. That's never really been what this is anyway."

He came over and gave her a hug. "I missed you Luce."

"I missed you too." She said, pulling out of the hug just enough so she could see his face. Before she could stop herself, she reached up and started to kiss him.

He responded by picking her up.

She giggled. "Do you still remember where the bedroom is?"

"I think so." He smiled.

That was the third time he had shown up unexpectedly in LA to surprise her. The other two times went the same way. They spent one to two days acting like horny teenagers who couldn't keep their hands off of each other and didn't talk much. When they did start to talk, they would fight about the same thing and he would storm out to go back to Chicago. They wouldn't talk for a few months but then would get their friendship back again. And the cycle would start over when he came to see her.

That time though, their fight happened the next morning and she hadn't heard from him since. It broke her heart that he never answered her emails or returned her calls. She was nervous about going back and seeing him, but she wasn't going to let that deter her from this opportunity.

She knew from Romano that Carter was dating Abby so she wouldn't make a play for him. She would respect that he was in a relationship now, even though she felt she was ready to try again. But she could at least try to get their friendship back.

Carter walked into the ER. "Hey Frank."

"Hello Dr. Carter." Frank grumbled before answering the ringing phone.

Carter chuckled and entered the lounge. He saw Abby getting into her locker. "Hey."

She turned and nodded. "Hey Carter."

There was a plastic bag on his locker. He opened it up and found some random stuff.

"Oh yeah, that." Abby said. "I was cleaning out some closets yesterday and found some of your things. I didn't know if you wanted them but it didn't feel right to just throw it out."

"Thanks." He saw that the stuff inside wasn't important to him, but it was nice of her to bring it back to him anyway. He felt bad about the way their relationship ended.

"So I go to tell this older guy that his wife has died from her heart attack, and he says to me that she wasn't allowed to die first. He said that she was supposed to let him die first because he couldn't live without her. He just kept repeating it over and over again. I felt so bad for him." Carter explained, answering Abby's question of how his day went.

Abby put down her pizza and started staring at him.

"What?" He chuckled, taking a drink of his beer. "Do I have pizza sauce on my face?"

"Do you love me like that?" She asked.

"Like what?"

"Like that old man loved his wife?"

He was caught off guard by that question. "Abby…"

"What Carter? I think it is a legitimate question." She sighed.

"I love you." He reassured her.

"I know that. But do you love me like that man loved his wife?" Abby pushed. "What would you do if I died?"

"Whoa. This conversation is taking a very morbid turn." He shook his head. "Can we maybe talk about something else?"

"No." She shook her head. "I really want to know. I know you love me. But there are different types of love. I'm curious which one you have for me."

"I don't know." He finally admitted. "I'm not sure."

"I love you Carter. I really do." She gave him a small smile. "But honestly. I don't have the same kind of all-encompassing love for you like that man had for his wife. And I don't believe you do either."

If he wanted to be honest, he knew she was right. But it seemed like she was getting ready to break up with him, and he didn't want to break up. He wanted a relationship to stick…he wanted stability…he wanted…well he wanted what he apparently couldn't have.

"I think you used your all-encompassing love for someone else." She said quietly.

"Abby…" He trailed off because he couldn't even deny it.

She chuckled. "See? You can't deny it. Maybe we should end things now while we can still be friends."

"I'm sorry." And he was.

"I know." She told him, reaching over to kiss him on the cheek.

It was rough for the first month of so after they broke up. There were a lot of awkward moments. But now, after three months, they were able to be friends again.

"So I wanted to tell you something before hospital gossip got back to you." Abby said. "Luca and I are dating again."

He nodded, unsure what to say.

"I just wanted you to know that."

"Thank you." He finally replied. "I appreciate it."

"Well…" She stood there. "I guess I'll see you out there."

"Yeah." He nodded. After she was gone, he sighed. Abby had dated Luca for a long time prior to their relationship. If she was happy with Luca, he would be happy for her because Luca was a good man. Now if only he could find and keep a good woman.

He had been in relationships with a handful of women in the last seven years. Each one ended the same way…the woman sensed he didn't love them in a passionate enough way and broke up with him. Many said they felt he wasn't giving them his whole heart. There was nothing he could say in objection to that though because they were right. Half of his heart belonged to someone on the other side of the country and it always would…No matter how badly he wished it didn't and no matter how hard he tried to move on. He always seemed to go back to her.

He shook those thoughts out of his head since he had to get to work. Ever since Mark's death from his brain tumor four years ago, Carter worked hard to follow in his footsteps and set the tone for the ER. Part of that was not letting his personal life interfere with his work zone. So he took a deep breath and went to go see patients.