A/N: Okay, I have no idea where this came from, I was watching some angsty NCIS: LA fan vid and it turned into this somehow. Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to CBS

Regret

"… such a shame"

"got caught in the wrong crowd"

"if only she'd found a better boy"

Steve McGarrett wove his way through the small crowd on the beach with his surfboard, frowning at the snippets he was hearing from the people who had come to say goodbye. He wasn't sure how he should be reacting- it wasn't really in his place to chastise them, but really, you'd think they'd show a little more respect than that. He walked towards her parents to give them his condolences, hovering behind a group of her friends from her high school days. Her parents had watched the ceremony from the beach, as some of her surfing buddies and their team had bade her farewell out in the ocean. Danny, Chin, Max, and Charlie were all there.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," he said to her parents when the group had left. "I should've protected her." The woman shook her head at him, and wiped a stray tear off her face. "It wasn't your fault Commander, don't blame yourself." She smiled a small smile at him as she led her husband away. He seemed less in control of his emotions than his wife, the pain of loss clearly etched in his features.

Steve sighed, and walked back to where Danny was waiting at his car. "You okay buddy?" Danny asked him as he handed him a towel. Steve shrugged, quickly changed back into his normal clothes, and got in the car. For once, he was letting Danny drive, which showed just how much he was beating himself up about this.

Danny exchanged a silent look with Chin, and sighed as he started up the car. They were both slightly surprised at Steve's reaction to her death. In some ways, it was even more extreme than Chin, and this hard to be hard on him. First Malia, and now she was gone as well. But then again, she was his protégé, and the two suspected he'd always had a soft spot for the tough rookie. Not that she was even a rookie anymore, but they'd always seen her as the baby of the team.

Steve looked out the window at the beautiful Hawaiian landscape, and once, it didn't calm him down. He wasn't sure what exactly he was feeling; it had all happened so fast and the shock hadn't quite worn off. He still remembered the day it happened, that phone call he'd gotten from Chin at 3 in the morning.

"McGarrett."

"Steve! Kono's been shot, and it's not looking too good." Chin said hurriedly, sounding anxious and somewhat frantic.

"What? I'm on my way." Steve said as he grabbed his keys and ran to his car. Kono, shot? He couldn't think of any reason why she would be involved in any kind of shooting; none of their recent cases were anything out of the ordinary. Unless-

Adam Noshimuri.

Steve pressed down on the gas pedal and accelerated, anxious to get to the hospital as fast as he could. If that man was the reason why Kono had been shot, Steve was going to make sure he was very, very sorry he ever let it happen.

"Chin! How is she?" Steve asked as he ran to where Chin was sitting in the chair, his head in his lap. Danny came in soon after, and the two of them shared a grim look.

"What happened?" Danny asked. "How did she get shot?"

Chin looked up, eyes weary and full of pain and fear. He had a large bloodstain down the front of his shirt. "She was out with Adam tonight, and his brother and a couple of his friends came up and just started arguing. It got pretty bad, to the point where shots were fired. Kono got shot in the chest."

Steve's heart clenched. Shot in the chest. That was very dangerous. Punctured lung, maybe a few broken ribs, or worse-

"And how's Noshimuri now?" Danny asked, interrupting Steve's thoughts. "How did you know about this anyway?"

"Adam called me. He sounded pretty bad himself when he called, and when I got to the scene, he was already dead. He knew he wasn't going to make it, but he had to try and save Kono." Chin explained.

"What about the others? Kono and Noshimuri must've fired back?" Steve asked. Noshimuri, dead? And there was a very good chance that Kono-

"Four other bodies were found, but no sign of Noshimuri's brother. I didn't take a good look, I just wanted to get Kono to the hospital," replied Chin tiredly.

Just then, the doctor walked out of the operating theatre, "Family of Kono Kalakaua?" The three men looked up at him expectantly, hoping he had good news.

"Yes, is she okay?" Chin asked as he stood up.

The doctor sighed, and looked at Chin. "Complications arose as we were trying to remove the bullet, and she didn't make it through. I'm sorry, we tried everything we could."

Chin collapsed in the chair, a dead look in his eyes. He buried his face in his hands again, and let out a long breath. "I'll let her parents know," he said, and walked away to make the toughest phone call of his life.

Danny too, let out a deep breath and sighed. He wasn't sure how to react. Mostly, he was shocked, and still in disbelief at what had just happened. Kono was dead?

Steve stood frozen, not sure he heard correctly. But if she didn't make it, that meant she was-

"Whoa, hey buddy, careful." Danny said as he reached out to grab Steve, who was looking deathly pale. "Steve? Hey! Where are you going?"

Steve started walking towards the exit, trying not to process what the doctor had just said. Trying not to, or refusing to. Either way, his brain didn't seem to want to accept the truth. Instead, there was something else he needed to do.

"The crime scene. We're going to find the son of a bitch who did this." Steve said in a cold, detached voice. Danny winced, and followed him out the door. If he thought Steve was stoic before, this was taking it to a whole new level. And Danny only hoped they caught the guy before reality sank in and anger and fury clouded Steve's judgement. Both of their judgement. He was feeling pretty damn pissed at Noshimuri's brother himself, and wasn't sure he could keep his cool for very long.

Steve sighed as he made his way into his house. He wasn't sure why he was feeling so guilty. Everyone told him it wasn't his fault and there was nothing he could've done, but Steve thought otherwise. They'd been working together for the better part of the last three or four years now, and there was definitely something going on there. Shared looks, lingering touches, and flirty exchanges. If only he was bolder, had the courage to actually take action, things might've been different.

She might still be alive.

That thought alone was almost too much to bear. And now, she was gone. Never again would he be able to hear her bubbly laughter, tell her off for eating too much sugary things, or just spend time with her. She was a damn good cop, and she would've been a brilliant one, under his guidance. That, he was sure of. Suddenly, the reality hit him. She was dead. Kono was never coming back. All because he didn't have the courage to take their relationship to the next level, allowing Adam to step in and getting Kono involved in their family's feud. He looked at a photo of the four of them, smiling happily for the camera, from a day of bonding at the beach, as suggested by Kono. She'd spent less time with her team after work since she met Adam, and wanted to make it up to them. A wave of emotion ran through Steve as he remembered that day, and it struck him that they would never be able to spend another day together.

And for the first time in a long while, Steve McGarrett wept.