Hi!…This is my very first story in english, a friend translated it for me, so I hope you enjoy it. If you find any grammatical or spelling mistakes, please tell me so I can fix them.
And of course, all characters belong to JKR, but you did know that already…
Perverse
He turned his eyes and left his hand over his head. He shivered for instants.
"This is freaking stupid"- thought Severus while he was sighing.
He was in the middle of a strange situation for himself; this obscure power was taking control of him, clouding his mind irrationally and powerfully, making him act like a fool, sometimes even dangerously…
A few raindrops slipped down his chin, rolling down his pale neck and got lost under his clothes. A couple of shivers ran over his back.
Incredible, in fact, what desire provokes in people, because love it's just a cruel tramp disguised as an illusion of happiness -he thought mid-opening his fists with anger- When in fact it is an obscure, mortal and fascinating subject, that can torn, confuse and betray the most strong will and change the course of the mind. Desire can radically and absolutely change someone's personality, and that was a scary fact.
It was this hated feeling that made him do and think about foolish things, like writing her name in the spaces of his notebooks, crossing them viciously after that… or adding an extra ingredient to the easiest potion and ruin it from the beginning to the end, just because he saw her head a couple of sits in front of him. And these were only small details, because the most perverse and terrible of all this situation was that every time he reminded her voice or her eyes, he was a little bit more hooked to her, and he hated her, he wished he could hate her…and the most he hated her, the most she appeared in his dreams, those hours when he was sleeping and his mind was vulnerable, he let her come inside his cells, his spine, his skin… and then, he woke up scared, sweating, boiling, wishing to tear his skin with his own nails, hating himself and also hating her for causing him this perverse torture. He was losing control of himself, acting as he would never allow himself to act, like at that moment, just standing beside the lake, like a dumb, under a storm that got wet him sooner as he though, shivering. Nevertheless, he couldn't escape, this feeling had nailed him to the ground and made him wait, and he hated himself because of that. And he hated her again too.
Suddenly, far away, he distinguished a red blur that was coming to him. His stomach was painfully contracted, and he nearly couldn't breath. Her image was perverse, because it caused all this unexpected tension.
She arrived at the place he was standing, crestfallen, breathing strongly and deeply after running under the rain, her shape was also wet, blurred by the raindrops. Some of her tufts were patched to her face, and for a second, Snape's hand made an involuntary movement of approaching to her face to remove her hair, but he punished himself, making the hand a fist, staving his nails inside the hand until they were buried in the meat, and feeling the blood running out of his wounds.
Nobody said anything.
She raised her shiny green eyes till she found his, and put her hand on his afflicted chest. Something hot came down the throat of Severus and his heart beat stronger than ever.
"Perverse" –he thought, closing his eyes.