Looking forward to the reviews. This is told in first person Susan. Inspired by Switchfoot's song This is Home. Which to this day has the power to make me cry. If you see grammar errors tell me and if I didn't do them on purpose I'll correct them. Enjoy. - RKB

xXx

I never fit in this world with its girls who have never lifted a single polished finger and women who desperately paint their faces to cover how worried they were about their loved ones away at war.

(At home women openly expressed their sadness over war but they never gave up hope, these did.)

"Young ladies aren't meant to worry about the affairs of men." I was told.

(I almost hated them for that.)

We aren't supposed to wish for better things or an end to hatred

(and oppression their minds whispered)

We aren't meant to fight for the weak.

(We are them.)

People (men) are to fight for us to shower us in the superficial so that we may never think. Because thinking is different. We aren't allowed to be different.

(Only wild)
We aren't supposed to remember dancing trees or the way an arrow sings through the air to hit the center of a target.

(A beautiful thud that reverberates in your heart to your very soul )

The rush of pride you experience as your subjects scream their support.

(Their loyalty, love, faith)

We aren't supposed to remember fighting beside creatures like centaurs and talking beavers. We aren't supposed to demand respect as a Queen of a country that is no longer theirs.

(As they had grown too old for them and the title they always lived up to "Gentle" had been stolen)

They are not supposed to have nightmares of drugged truffles that kidnap their brother or of women who turn friends into stone.

(They aren't supposed to be themselves.)
This world is not my home. My home made me leave.

(left me behind because of little things called time and age)

For that my heart broke and Aslan lost me forever. Aslan lost me but I had not lost Aslan. I still remembered fur (softest I had ever felt) and tawny eyes (filled with such love) and despair as he sent me back.

(Never to be home again.)

Thus I refuse him, not his ideals, not his lessons, just him. I will not forgive the path he has force me to take. As he has refused me.

(I refuse him.)