Beyond Redemption

Chapter One: innocence

" To shed tears

That have to flow

To hold somebody close to you

and then to let them go"

When I was seven, my biological father died. Remembering it did not help this life I was living, but it helped me remember him. I want to know what he looked like, smelled like, and acted like. It helped me forget the thing that replaced him. I never want to forget, but my dead father is not the problem.

When I was eight, my mother got engaged to a man named Larry. I hate that name . . . Larry. It is boring and common, unlike mine. He always had a suspicious look about him. He had a boyish face that made me nauseous. His perfect blue eyes, slightly muscular body, and horrible temper makes me think he is just another fallen Lucifer. He looks pretty but has an evil appetite that could consume the world.

I had always been a freak about knowledge and neatness. I just embraced that as my perfect escape. I would get my mother to drop me off at the library every day after school. On the weekends, I would stay from 9am until 6pm. He always yelled at me and pushed me around for staying gone so long. He hated it when I did weird things. I turned his hair a sickly yellow and broke his favorite wristwatch. I always said I didn't know how it happened. He always called me a little " Witch of a Bitch. "

I never knew what that meant. I was the witch, but who was the bitch? I figured out it was my mother. I remember when I had to beg the librarian to take me home one night. It was ten before I got home. They must have been busy though because they stayed in their room, making odd noises during the night.

When I was nine, the accidents just got worse. My mom would buy me some candy I didn't like, but I would end up with a Hershey Bar. He would always yell " You little wench. Bring it back. No child of mine steals." I wanted to tell him I wasn't his child, but I didn't have the nerve. I never did do foolish things to dig myself a deeper grave. I tried to control this ability but was unsuccessful. It finally all fell down.

I was ten. I didn't turn eleven until September. I was waiting for my mother to come home, but she never came. That was the day I received my letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That shiny envelope was more than a savior to me. It was a doorway to another world.

Dear Miss Granger:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is pleased to tell you of your acceptance to our school. There is a ticket in this envelope to platform 9 3/4. The train leaves at exactly eleven o clock on September 1. The list of school supplies are required. Just bring some muggle money to the wizarding bank in Diagon Alley. The instructions to get there are inclosed. If you have any questions please feel free to write back.

Sincerely, Professor Mcgonagall

Requirements

1. protective dragon hide gloves and robe

2. quills and parchment

3. a cast iron cauldron

4. a wand

5. Hogwarts, a history; The Complete List of First year potion ingredients and techniques, Transfiguration by Melrose Pillared, Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them, Charms of the Century

6. seven school robes and five casual robes

Notice: The pets allowed are toads, owls, and cats

I had just finished reading it with a racing heart, when he came through the door. I quickly sent my reply, but the owl made the mistake of flying straight over his head and scraping his scalp with its sharp talons. His screams were a comfort for the moment. He snatched the letter from my hands and ripped it to pieces. I started screaming at him and crying. He just stood there with that sadistic smile on his face, but he stopped smiling when the paper came back together. I picked it up and ran into my bedroom upstairs. I hid it between the cracks in my dresser's headboard.

I will never forgive him for what he did next. He burst into the room with amazing speed and pushed me over the bed into my glass tea set. I could feel small droplets of crimson running down my upper back. I screamed as he hit me over and over. He finally stopped.

That is when I felt something tearing the rest of my torn blouse. A lot of dirty little images passed through my frayed mind. Then came the rest of the clothing. It was over before it started. I remembered waking up sore and tired. " Get up and pack all that you have."

I did as I was told and was soon knocked out from behind. I woke up in a place called STONEWALL ORPHANAGE. I would soon learn that there is more than one type of innocence, and I would lose every type there was.

"Cry innocence

That is lost forever more

Cry thief"

These songs are from Hillary Duff " Cry."