"Somebody did kill Toby, but I am the reason that he is dead."
"Someone did kill Toby." The words echoed in my head like I was standing in the bottom of a vacant volcano. Somehow, I thought that this would be easier if they were still together. Less grief, I guess. But now there are so many possibilities in which I actually was responsible for his death. Sometimes I used to hate myself for being smart, and that fateful, rainy night was just one of those times. If I wasn't so adept at finding the badge, we would still be together. Sure, I'd still be living a lie, but sometimes those hurt less than the truth. If he had malicious intentions, then I certainly did something to make him hate me so much, I just don't know what. Maybe the rest of the A team killed him for slipping up and letting me know. Or maybe he was in it for me, and he wasn't the one that cleared out the room. That would be ideal, but you know what they say about hope, it breeds eternal misery. None the less, he wasn't here anymore for me to ask him.
"But I am the reason that he is dead." Lava began to pour from the metaphorical volcano and burned much more than my skin, but my soul as well.
I stared at the blank walls, snapping back to my new reality. They were an off-white and seemed to be staring back at me, which is ironic because most of the people here have paranoia. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. It's not easy when you realize you've been sleeping with the enemy. There was a lamp in the corner, but I had it shut off. There was no light at the end of the tunnel for me, I was sure of it. The bed frame was hard like rocks and when I lay down, it hurts my back. But maybe it's good for me to experience some physical aching to help cope with the emotional pain. Welcome to Radley.
Wren walked into the room. He disgusted me. Even though he hadn't done anything wrong, anything that reminded me of Toby infuriated me. Especially past love interests. He's knocked me down before, well, the possibility of us had. Left a scar, but it had healed. Until now, when all of my scars are open. Melissa hadn't visited me, but to be fair, no one had. I could have used a shoulder to cry on. I could have used some relationship advice, not even with Wren, but with Toby. Maybe she could have helped me not end up like this. She didn't care, Spencer knew that. Melissa could have known about Toby's true identity as soon as they got together and her spiteful ways would prevent her from telling me. She always used Wren as an excuse, but over a year later, we both knew that his name was just a metaphor for her animosity towards me that was instilled in our Hastings DNA. But I didn't even know if I was a Hastings. Or a person, for that matter.
He placed a big, yellow pill on my wooden desk with a small bottle of water.
"I don't need these," I told him, not looking into his chocolate brown eyes. "I'm not insane. I'm just hurt. Confused. Guilty. But not mentally insane. At least, not yet."
"Spencer," he said in his soothing British accent. "I think we all know that you are."
ok so that was my first spencer one shot (kind of spoby too idk).
hope you liked it!