This is probably the most retarded thing I've ever written in my entire life. I like being random, so yah XD

Also, I'm a swede, but my favorite character is Denmark and will always be :3 Of the Nordic countries, Sweden is my least favorite character...huh.

Hope you enjoy random humor, anyway! Contains heavy references, as an extra warning.

"EN GARDE!"

Since the ninth bottle Denmark was drunk like hell. He was bored like never before, and as he held a half-finished bottle in his right hand, he constantly poked Sweden with the other, in more detail his index finger. Sweden however, tried to ignore this drunk idiot and looked at the image on his laptop. Iceland enjoyed the sight and as he tried stifling his laughter, Finland just drank his beer and watched the red-white monkey because he had no better to do.

Norway came in, with a herring in his hold as usual. "Sup?" His bright smile faded when he noticed the annoying action Denmark did to the blonde. He was neither aware of his drunken mind. "Ey, Den...what are you doing to Sweden?" Denmark's focused glared turned into a drunken smile with half-lidded eyes as he turned himself towards Norway. "Yo, Monten monki!" he said sloppily, Norway slightly frowning at the nickname. Denmark wobbled onto his feet, stumbled towards Norway causing him to fall. Norway caught the hiccuping guy in his arms. Denmark hiccuped.

"Schweden...ashksss fo' war! Dood!" He dropped the bottle and neither of them, surprisingly, payed a thought of position themselves appropiately. Norway sighed. "What are you babbling about?" he asked still enjoying the state his neighbor country was in. Denmark quickly stood up which was surprising when you thought of a drunk person doing so. Denmark grabbed Norway by the shoulders and shook him as if Norway was in a trance. "Er du dum, eller?" The smaller male said in danish (which means "Are you stupid or what"). He ruffled his own hair and shot a glare at Sweden. "HEZ WONT ADMIT ZE' THUNG!" Just when Norway was about to ask again what the hell he was talking about Denmark drunkily answered with a serious tone. "HES WONT ADMUT TAT RAINBOW DASH IS ZE BEST PONY!" He burst out before coughing violently. Norway, one again, didn't have time to reply properly before Denmark ran towards Sweden, stumbling on the way and falling onto him. Denmark started poking him again. "En garde, betch!"

Sweden got seriously pissed now. His sibling country was annoying as heck! "Will ya shaddup, you dumb fuck!" he said as he violently shoved the smaller boy away. "You can take that 'sabre' and shove it up your ass!" Denmark smiled sarcastically. "TAT EHZ MAZTERBATION!" Iceland couldn't hold it anymore, he burst out into laughter falling onto the floor and rolled as his stomach ached. Finland still was stone-faced, but everyone could see he hid a sadistic smile underneath since they all knew him too well. The Norwegian sighed deeply, the only one not enjoying this, instead just feeling slightly awkward. The blue-yellow guy facepalmed as Denmark danced around with an empty bottle in hand he still thought was filled with beer. "I'M SEXY AND I KNOW EHT!" he said as he jumped around. Norway sweat dropped by now. "Dane Devil! Cut it!"
Denmark, who was all ears whenever Norway spoke, immediately did what he was told and looked suddenly sad and gave Norway the puppy dog eyes. He threw himself into Norway's embrace and cried. "I'm soo sorreey, Norwei! I wont make youz mad egein!" He took the empty bottle and shoved it into Norway's mouth as he grabbed Norway's ass. Norway twitched and carefully tried to push Denmark off. He shoved Denmark onto the couch beside Sweden and sat down as well. Denmark puked a little. Iceland caught a look of disgust. "WTFH! That's disgusting!" Norway tried his best of thinking the smell was not worse than surströmming. Sweden threw his hands open in front of him. "Zetsu Bou Shita! The fact that Denmark is being a hemorrhoidal (I made that up lawl) pain in the buttocks has left me in despair!" (Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei reference). Denmark recovered quickly and leaned himself onto Sweden to look at the image on the laptop. He pouted cutely. "Hmm? Are you watching porn?" Sweden twitched and threw an angry glare at Denmark. "HELL NO! Who do you think I am?"

"Then the shyit is nut worthy watching! Everythung U watch is bullshitty bullcum!" He smiled goofily as he mimed as if he was preparing a magic potion. "HACK 'EM, SLASH 'EM, SHTICK 'EM IN A SHTEW!" He laughed but got interrupted by Iceland slightly hitting him in the back of his head. Iceland was lightly drunk as well but sober enough to speak up. "Alright, troublesome asshole. Let's get you to bed before you start World War lll." "Well said." Norway agreed. "NO!" The drunk protested. "I wanna...I wanna...I wanna SHOWZ U SOMETHUNG FIRST! *hic*" Finland pointed his knife at him as he mumbled something in Finnish. Sweden nodded. "I think he said that he's sick of watching his porn. And I agree, I am too."

"THAT'S NOT EHT!" Denmark shouted. "EHT'S SOMETHING...SOMETHING ELZ! BELIEVE EHT!" (Naruto reference) "Wha-" Sweden said but got his laptop snatched off him from Denmark and he quickly but clumsily started to write something on it. "Gud thing you're on old fella YouTube! It'll be a lot easier!" "WHAT THE HELL-" Sweden got interrupted by Norway's hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, I don't think he can destroy your laptop." "Bullshit! He always ruins everything!" Iceland calmed him down too. "Seriously, Sweden, stop being so boring!" Sweden raved with his sight between the two countries before crossing his arms and mumbling something in Swedish. "Jäkla idioter." (Damn idiots). Norway who had a likely language with Sweden, understood what he said but ignored it.

Denmark clicked the video and it started loading. Norway glanced at the computer screen. "2 girls-" "Shush! SHUSH! You ruin ze surprise for ze readerz, moron!" Denmark spluttered. Denmark yelled at the screen. "SONOFABETCH! Y U NO LOAD!" Finland, now standing beside Iceland, rolled his eyes. Iceland commented. "It is loading, dumbass." Denmark blushed madly. "SHADDUP! I knew that! I was just...oh! Oh! It finished! FUCK YEA!" He said grabbing a full bottle of beer. Sweden glared. "If you spill anything on my computer we are having a war once again!" No one cared about the comment, but Sweden cared less either way.

So the Nordic countries were seated. Denmark set the laptop on the table in front of the couch they sat on. Norway sat on the left side of him and Sweden to the right side (depending on your point of view, in this case, it's from the front of them) Iceland stood behind were Sweden sat and Finland standing behind Norway. Denmark's inner self laughed hysterically like an evil genius but his outside self just smirked before he clicked the button of doom: "PLAY".

The music of the video started and they barely sat there for a few seconds before Sweden blurted out. "Hey, no porn, we said that..." Denmark, focused on the screen, held up a finger to shut him. No one backed Sweden up either.

When Sweden was about to protest again, the image shut him up. Everyone's mouths, except Finland's and Denmark's, hung open. They stuttered trying to say something but everything sounded dumb. Denmark smirked.

"Is...is that...?" Norway said. "...shit...?..." Iceland rubbed his eyes and Sweden was in shock. Next few seconds they all went: "Wha...no!" Iceland burst out "Don't do it, babe! Don't do it! NO!"

A few seconds later. They all made disgusted sounds and screamed. "WHATTHEFUCKISTHISSHITIWILLNE VERBEABLETOEATICECREAMAGAINH OLYSHITOHMYGAWD!" Finland just stood there as if he was watching a boring TV-show.

Another couple of seconds.

"NOGIRLSWHATAREUDOINGGIRLSSTA HP!" Iceland screamed in fear of puking any minute. Norway put his hand on his mouth and ran for the bathroom. Sweden had taken off his glasses and looked away. "I can't watch it! Turn off this shit!" Denmark laughed. "U SHOULDA SEEN YER FACES, OMAIGAWD HILARIOUS HAHAHAH!" He laid on the couch holding his stomach that hurt because of his laughter. Nothing could stop Denny's laughter now! The last part both Iceland and Sweden puked their worst on the carpet beneath them. They laid there while their breakfast was being thrown up from their bellies. Finland stared to the end of the video, but Denmark ignored him and just laughed while drinking his beer. "SKÅL!" Norway's sounds of puking was heard from a distance. Denmark sighed happily. "This is the best night of my life." Then suddenly the phone rang. Surprised, Denmark picked it up. "HOWDEY PARTNERS!" Denmark answered. It was sister Australia! "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT DENMARK THE BEST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE WAS WHEN YOU GOT LAID WITH ME, YOU STUPID TWAT!" Denmark threw away the phone not knowing what was going on. "Betch, wrong number." He yawned before drifting into sleep. Sweden and Iceland were still awake, but they puked their guts out (not 4 realz) and Norway was also still puking. Finland took a blank note and wrote on it. When finished he stuck it on the door on his way out the house with his knife (luckily he had a reserve!) and gently tugged the door open before closing it behind him.

The note said:

"Show me 2 guys 1 cup and maybe, just maybe, it'll challenge my belly. /Finland"

Me: I told you, I'm retarded! XD I must've eaten too much ice-cream...

Aylee: Indeed.

Me: Whatzeshitz did you appear from, yo?

Aylee: Please speak properly. I don't understand what you're saying.

Me: ... Anyway, please review...maybe...