Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just a simple fanfictioner.
A/N: English is not my native language so please ignore my grammar mistakes if there are any.
xx
Yes she deserved better. They all did but life was unfair. When she jumped in front of the hell hound to protect the guy she love, she knew what the consequences would be. It was dangerous, yet she was brave enough for that.
She was so young, so naive… Dean was the one to die, not her. She sacrificed her life for a douchebag, that's what Dean always thought. And now, right in front of her grave, with a rose in his hand, he was preparing himself to say goodbye for the last time. He was going to apologize too. Because this was going to be the last time to ever see her grave.
Sam and Dean were in great danger at where they were staying so they had to move and maybe never come back. This was going to be—probably—the last time to ever visit Jo.
He kneeled down beside the grave and put the rose on it. A single teardrop fell from his eye and found its way to the ground. He sighed and sniffed, trying to ease himself. This pain in his heart was sometimes so unbearable that he wanted to rip his heart out of his chest and throw it away. She wasn't supposed to die. Why did she try to protect him? Why in the first place she fell in love with a guy like him? It was all wrong from the very beginning.
"Hi, Jo." He said, smiling a little bit while saying her name. It still sounded sweet coming out of his mouth. He missed calling her name. And so did she.
He wasn't aware of it, of course, but at that moment Jo was right beside him, standing. Her spirit never managed to leave the earth and now she was trapped inside this place, when nobody heard her, saw her, felt her… She had been so alone for a long time. She knew she was slowly going crazy but she was not going to become one of those insane ghosts that she used to kill back in the day.
She smiled when she saw Dean came to her grave. It was such an amazing moment for her. After such a long time, she could see him. Flesh and alive. Yet, the unhappiness of him was upsetting. The last time she saw him, he was doing fine. She almost killed him though, but it was because of that stupid Egyptian God. He forced her to do it.
That's when Dean continued. "I missed you Jo. Actually I miss you everyday." He said and sniffed again, trying to hold himself back not to cry. "I am sorry it took me soo long to visit you."
With her silent tears that no one but herself can hear, Jo started crying. "It's okay." She whispered while wiping her tears away.
"I just… I just didn't have the strength… I mean, I couldn't… I am the one at fault Jo. Not you. You deserved better. That day when I saw you as a ghost, I remembered… I remembered the days when you used to laugh, smile, hunt… You were alive. And happy. And this… Now, I am standing in front of your grave…" Dean had to stop to inhale some fresh air. His tears were not silent anymore. He was trying to ease his pain by crying but it wasn't working. "You were supposed to be alive right now Jo. We were supposed to be together. We were supposed to go hunt supernatural things, we were supposed to have fun, we were supposed to… We were supposed to hold each other."
Jo closed her eyes and imagined it for a moment. Being together with Dean, holding him, hugging him, kissing him… It was all she wanted when she was alive. She wanted him more than anything else.
Dean held his head in his hands. The bitter taste of these words didn't leave his mouth until he spoke again. "I love you Jo." Then he smiled. "You know, we always fought, argued because you were so rebellious and I was acting like a big brother all the time. But I never saw you as a sister. Oh, and I was always aware of your massive crush on me." He laughed at his sentence, not feeling so tense anymore. Jo wished he could hear her laughing with him.
"Things have gotten worst though." Dean said afterwards. "We got to move out of town. We are going somewhere else and even we don't know where. I mean, we will decide on road. So I guess… I may not be able to see you again Jo." He was all upset again, not a single glimpse of a smile on his face. "But I promise you, when we are done… We I am done with the hunting, when these things stop chasing me, I will come back. I will come back to see you. Not literally of course. I wish it was possible…"
Jo stepped back when she heard he was leaving for good. This was just so much for her to handle. Even if she was dead, she still had feelings. She still had a heart—even if it didn't beat. She knew, this was a farewell. So she had to do something. That's when an idea clicked her and she disappeared for a moment. When she was back, she had a notebook in her hand.
Dean kept talking. "This is a goodbye Jo. Hell, I never managed to say a proper goodbye to you and I cannot do it right now either. I guess I am not that kind of a guy who can leave things behind." Then he stood up and for one last time looked at her grave. Joanna Beth Harvelle was written on it with the dates; 1985-2009. "I hope you are having a good time at where you are right now. I love you. Goodbye." With tears on her eyes, he turned back to the gate of the graveyard to leave when a flying paper fell on the ground in front of him. He looked at it doubtfully, trying to understand where it came from. He was a hunter and he was in a cemetery so anything was possible, that's why he drew his weapon before taking the paper and reading it.
Jo was watching him, smiling. Then Dean read these two sentences out loud; "Goodbye Dean, I love you too. Thanks for everything."
His eyes opened wide and he turned back, looking around the cemetery in case he saw something. But he didn't. Just for a second though, he thought he saw Jo but that was it. Then he smiled and with the paper in his hand, left the cemetery.
Jo was smiling too because finally she felt at peace. That's when she knew she didn't belong here and gave up the thought of staying there forever. The Reaper and she looked at each other, then she nodded. It was time. Time to finally rest in peace.
Xx
Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed it! Jo&Dean are one of my OTPs and I just cannot express how much I luv and treasure them. This is my first fanfic for them but it will not be the last. So… Keep your eyes open for other Joen fanfics by me! Thanks for reading(:
Xoxo Louvreangel