WORKING FOR HEALTHY
AUTHOR'S NOTE/DISCLAIMER
I know this has been done dozens of times but this is my take on Buffy being in the mental institution being reality instead of the Slayer life and actually takes place during certain scenes of "Normal Again" itself mainly inside the hospital rather than Buffy's head. When I finally do go into Buffy's mind, it'll be in italics. Belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. I only own characters you don't recognize.
Stefan Donati, who was wearing a black leather jacket over a gray shirt with black jeans and biker boots, walked down the familiar halls to where he knew Hank and Joyce Summers was visiting their daughter, Buffy. One may ask how he knew this, well the answer was simple: he had also come to visit Buffy. He had for the last six years. As he approached the door to her room, he could see Buffy's parents and her doctor, Ben Riley speaking seriously. Seeing him, Dr. Riley went to open the door and let him in just time to hear Buffy speak the name "Dawn". Oh, man. She's still stuck in her delusion, Stefan thought to himself. He hated seeing her like this, but he wasn't going to stop visiting her like Ford had. Ford had given up. But he wouldn't. Never. He'd visit Buffy until she was dead if he had to.
"That's the sister, right?" Hank clarified and Dr. Riley confirmed it explaining that Buffy had created Dawn to give her a sense of familiarity. Then he looked at Buffy, saying that Dawn had caused things to fall apart and the world she had created was no longer as comforting as it had once been. Come on, Punky. Come back to us, Stefan thought to himself. Buffy shook her head as if trying to clear it and make sense of things and her mother spoke reassuringly, saying that they were all here and the doctor reminded her that she used to be fighting demons and monsters and now she was just fighting people.
"And you're stronger than them," Stefan interjected. "Please Punky, come back to us," he added, taking her hand. Hank and Joyce looked to Buffy at Stefan's nickname for their daughter. Would she respond to it? "Punky…we need you…I need you." Buffy let out a sigh.
"You don't have a sister, Buffy," Joyce said.
"Yeah, you just got me: your adopted brother," Stefan interjected. "Do you remember what we used to say to each other?" he asked. The couple looked at him. Good idea, Stefan. Remind her of your bond. That could help, Hank silently approved as they then looked to their daughter. Back when Buffy was a freshman, they hadn't approved of the two's closeness and how they had come up with nicknames for each other: "Punky" because Buffy had started to wear clothes that were a bit punkish and "Rebby" because Stefan had been somewhat wild and rebellious, but he had more than proved himself over the years by never giving up on their daughter.
"Dawn?" Buffy asked and the couple's hearts broke.
"No honey. Say it. It'll help you believe it," Joyce gently instructed.
"I…don't…have a sister," Buffy hesitantly said. Yes, that's good, Stefan thought to himself as he shared a glance with Hank and Joyce. She was responding! Then their hopes were dashed as she went to explain that she hadn't grown up with her because monks had made her.
"It's just your mind playing tricks on you," Hank corrected.
"You're our little girl, Buffy. Our one and only," Joyce added.
"You always wanted a sibling and I needed someone to watch out for me, to keep me from totally spiraling. That's how we came to adopt each other…so to speak," Stefan reminded.
"We've all missed you so much," Joyce added. "Mom and Dad just want to take you home and take care of you," she told her, caressing Buffy's face lovingly. The girl closed her eyes. Mommy, she thought. She wanted her mommy. Buffy let out a sigh and then hesitantly reached out to touch Joyce's face.
"Buffy," Dr. Riley said, bringing the girl out of the delusion.
"I don't want to go back there," Buffy said. I hate it there. I want to be home again, she thought. "I want to be healthy again," she told them. "Rebby…I need your help," she said. Stefan let out a choked sob at the old nickname. She was finally back!
"Oh, you've got it, Punky. I'm here. I'll be right here with you," he promised, kneeling down and taking her hand. He then shared a relieved look with her parents. They were getting her back! She was coming back to them!
"What do I have to do?" Buffy asked.
"You have to destroy your fantasy," Dr. Riley answered.
"Help me. I want to go home with you and Dad. I want to be with Rebby," Buffy stated. I don't-I don't want to be here. I don't want to be sick anymore, she said to herself. Joyce let out a mental sigh of relief. She was finally wanting it. She was ready to admit that didn't need her delusions anymore. Thank God, she thought to herself.
"I know, Buffy. But first you've got to get better," Joyce responded.
"It's not going to be easy, Buffy. You have to take it one step at a time. You have to start ridding your mind of those things that support your hallucinations. Do you understand? There are things in that world that you cling to. For your delusions they're safe holds, but for your mind they're traps. We have to break those down."
"Slaying?" That made sense. She had liked being a hero. She had liked saving the world. It had been fun. But I need to give that up. I can't be with Mom, Dad, or Rebby if I still believe I'm the Slayer, she thought.
"Yes, but I'm talking about those you want there. What keeps you going back?"
"My friends." As she said this a cold feeling washed over her. What she been thinking? They weren't really her friends. They were just part of her delusions. Heck, in her mind she was sleeping with some guy she hated. Who did that?
"That's right." This is good. She's really listening to me. I can finally help her, Dr. Riley thought. "Last summer when you had a momentary awakening, it was them that pulled you back in." Friends don't do that. They don't want to harm you, Buffy thought. But could she really give them up? Hadn't they been through so much together? No! That-that was in my head! It's not real! I've been through nothing with them, she reminded herself. Almost as if Joyce had read her mind, the woman spoke up.
"They're not really your friends, Buffy. They're just tricks to keep you from getting healthy," she said.
"And what friend would do that?" Stefan queried. "Not any that I know," he added.
"You have to do whatever it takes to convince yourself of that, Buffy," Dr. Riley told her. "Whatever it takes." Buffy nodded. She could do this. She could get healthy again. It's what she wanted more than anything.
"You'll help me?" she asked, looking to her parents and Stefan.
"Oh, yes, Baby. We're right here," Hank assured.
"We'll keep fighting for you," Joyce added.
"I've got your back-" Stefan started, patting himself on the back of his right shoulder.
"I've got your front-" Buffy added, patting the front of her left shoulder.
"We've got each other covered," they chorused together as they pointed to one another and then put their fists up defensively.
Buffy panted shakily. She-she had hurt her friends. No! They weren't her friends!
"It's okay, Buffy. Don't stress yourself," Dr. Riley stated.
"Honey, take your time," Joyce soothed. It's okay, honey. We're here, she thought silently.
"Make it as easy on yourself as possible. There's nothing wrong with that," Dr. Riley assured. Of course there's going to be some resistance. She's lived with the delusions for six years. A part of her's not going to want to give that up, he mused. That's why it was so important not to push or rush her. They didn't want things to go south.
"Come on, Punky. You can do it," Stefan encouraged. Buffy let out another sigh. She was okay. She could do this. Rebby would help her. She closed her eyes and concentrated once more. Buffy stared at the group and then unchained the thing that they had captured and it advanced towards them. As they all started shouting and shrieking Buffy just stared. They had to die. They were feeding her delusions. No! They're my friends! she thought. She whimpered as the fight grew more intense.
"Buffy?" Joyce asked in concern. Buffy panted shakily and ran towards the wall. No, no, no, no! Too hard! Too hard! She was killing her friends!
"Punky, Punky, it's okay. It's okay," Stefan assured, hurrying towards her.
"Fight, Buffy, fight!" Hank encouraged.
"It's going to be okay, Sweetheart. Whatever it is, it's not real, remember?" Joyce reminded. We're going to lose her again! Please I can't lose her again! she panicked.
"Just keep concentrating, Punky. We're all right here," Stefan encouraged, taking her into his arms.
"That's right, Sweetie. Just keep concentrating. We're right here: me, Daddy, and Stefan," Joyce added, as Buffy sank to the floor, bringing Stefan with her.
"Buffy! Buffy, help!" Xander shouted. Buffy tried to block out his cries. She was hurting him! How could she hurt him? It was Xander, her best guy friend. Then, she heard Tara calling for Willow. Tara? What was she doing here? She wasn't supposed to be here! She didn't belong! She hid and watched as Tara used magic to first repel the monster and then free Willow.
"I don't know," Buffy whispered as Stefan held her and stroked her hair soothingly. What if she was doing the wrong thing?
"Buffy, look at me," Joyce said, kneeling down as she faced her daughter.
"I don't know. I don't know," Buffy said.
"Buffy, I believe in you," Joyce told her and she whimpered. "You're a survivor. You can do this," she encouraged.
"What's making it hard, Punky?" Stefan asked as he continued to stroke her hair soothingly.
"I-I have to-I have to watch them be killed. I can't-I can't be sure otherwise," Buffy replied. She wanted to get better-she did, but how could she watch these people die? They all looked to Dr. Riley in concern. Was that true? Would she actually have to see the delusions destroyed? I don't know if she can handle that. She's spent a long time with them, she might not be able to confront it, Stefan thought to himself as he kept his actions up. He had to keep her calm, keep her with them.
"No you don't. You just need a lifeline to focus on to get you out of there," Dr. Riley told her. Normally, he would've said that yes she needed to see her delusions destroyed but if it was causing her this much stress it would probably be easier and better for her health to just walk away as soon as she could. Buffy whined again. Her friends' screams came again.
"No," she said as she sat there almost numbly as she watched the fighting. She couldn't deal with this! She had to get out!
"Willow!" she cried desperately, trying to move as if to help.
"Stay with us, Punky!" Stefan encouraged.
"Buffy! Buffy, fight it! Be strong!" Joyce cried at the same time.
"Stay with us, honey!" Hank called, coming to kneel beside Joyce.
"Punky, I'm here! I've got your back!" Stefan assured.
"You're too good for to give in. You can beat this thing," Joyce interjected. "Be strong, Baby. I know you're afraid okay. You just have to find your lifeline. I know the world feels like a hard place sometimes. But you've got people who love you right here," she continued. Buffy froze. They loved her. Mom and Dad still loved her. They had always loved her. And Stefan too. He had helped her through so much. They needed her. "Your dad, Stefan, and I, we have all the faith in the world in you. You have a world of strength in your heart. You just have to find it again."
"That's right, Baby. We're right here. And we miss you."
"And you won't have to find it alone, Punky. I've got your back."
"Believe in yourself." When her father's voice joined her mother's and Stefan's, Buffy felt herself growing calm again as Stefan and Joyce caressed her lovingly. They were right. They were waiting for her to finish this. They needed her to come back for good. They had fought so hard for her. So she was going to fight for them. As soon as she finished what she had started.
"You're right," she said. Mommy was making sense. She didn't need that world. It was full of demons and monsters. Who needed that? "And the only voices I want to hear are yours. I don't want you to be drowned out again," she told her. "You'll still call me if I slip?" she checked.
"Oh, yes, Baby! We'll call you and call you," Joyce assured, caressing her daughter's cheek.
"No matter how long it takes, we'll never stop calling," Hank added, taking Buffy's hand.
"That world may want to keep you, Punky, but we're not going to let them. We love you too much," Stefan declared, placing a chaste kiss on the back of her head.
"Thank you," Buffy said. "I can do it now. I can leave them behind," she told them.
"Oh, that's great, honey!" Joyce exclaimed, giving her daughter a hug.
"I'll be right back," Buffy promised. As the fight continued, she slowly got up and stared at them. She needed-she needed to get out of here. She needed that lifeline. There! At the top of the stairs! A white light! Ignoring the cries and screams of the people fighting whatever creature that was there, Buffy headed up the stairs. The light was her lifeline. She just needed to get to it.
"BUFFYYYYYYYYY!" she heard Willow cry desperately and plaintively. She froze. Willow! she thought.
"Punky, I'm right here," she heard a voice call. Punky? No one here called her that. "Punky, fight!" the voice called again. The white light! The voice was calling from the white light. It was her lifeline. Stefan was her lifeline!
"BUFFYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Buffy's eyes blazed furiously as she turned around.
"You're not real. None of you are. You're just traps for my mind and I want you gone," she snapped. Then, she turned away and headed for the light.
"Buffy!" Joyce exclaimed.
"I did it. They're gone," Buffy told them.
"Oh, that's wonderful, Honey," Hank stated.
"I just looked for the lifeline. It was a white light at the top of the stairs. They tried to get me back but then I heard Stefan and I knew they were just traps. I can't save what's not real," Buffy said. With relieved sighs, Hank and Joyce hugged their daughter.
"Welcome back, Baby. Welcome back," Joyce greeted tearfully. Then, they all stood up and walked out of the room and to the front desk where Dr. Riley signed her out.
"I don't feel comfortable leaving her, but my bike-" Stefan began.
"Leave it. You can pick it up tomorrow or the next day. The important thing is to be with Buffy," Dr. Riley interrupted.
"Thank you Doctor," Stefan said. When all the papers were finally signed and Buffy was finally released, they headed to the parking lot, where they got into the Summers' station wagon, got in, Hank started the ignition, and then drove off. When they were finally back at Buffy's house, they stopped the car and headed back in.
"Could I-get something to eat? And could I eat in on the couch?" Buffy requested.
"Yes to both questions," Hank replied.
"What do you want? I'll make you anything," Joyce offered.
"Your famous Chicken Ala King?" Buffy asked.
"Coming right up," Joyce promised. She went into the kitchen as Buffy and Stefan sat on the couch. Though she usually took her time when making the meal, Joyce rushed through the preparation. She didn't want to miss one minute with her daughter. When the food was finally ready, she grabbed four forks and took the pot into the living room, placing it on the coffee table.
"No plates?" Buffy asked in amusement.
"Not today. It's a special occasion," Joyce replied, handing out the silverware.
"One definitely worth celebrating," Stefan agreed.
"Yes," Buffy and Hank chorused. Then, they all began eating. Presently, Buffy laid down her fork and sighed.
"Buffy, what's wrong, honey?" Joyce asked in concern. Was she still thinking about her delusions? And if so, was it merely a transference? After all, she didn't expect her daughter to be automatically okay with leaving the world she created behind.
"When I went in to fight the traps of my mind one last time, they did nearly pull me back. But it was Stefan who was my lifeline," Buffy said. And that's what was killing her, that her parents hadn't been the lifeline.
"And that's good," Hank told her.
"But it was Stefan, not you or Mom. Is…is that okay?" Buffy asked hesitantly.
"Oh, Buffy, of course it's okay," Joyce sighed, walking to the couch and sitting down and putting her arms around her daughter. "In fact, it makes perfect sense. When your delusions first started, I was in there with you. And you even brought your father in once. It was part of the familial bond," she continued.
"It makes perfect sense for Stefan to be your lifeline because he never got brought over. You needed someone who had never been in your delusions to bring you out because you would be able to differentiate them from the traps in your mind," Hank added, coming to sit in front of the couch.
"I just didn't want to hurt your feelings," Buffy admitted.
"You didn't," Joyce assured. "We're just so glad you're back home with us." Buffy smiled at the brief hug and then reached over to bring the pot closer to her and they all resumed eating. As they did so, Buffy's smile grew. It was good to be back. And she never wanted to leave again.
THE END
AUTHOR'S NOTE
The line where Buffy tells her mother that she doesn't want her voice to be drowned out by the other voices is from a movie called "Strange Voices" and belongs to them. I don't know how long it would actually take to process someone out especially if they've been institutionalized for six years, so I'm fairly certain I got it wrong and I apologize.