Sirius Black is stupid. He is reckless and stupid and parades it off and bravery and doing the right thing. The proud lion. He will never admit to being wrong. His pride clouds his vison and he can't see.
No, not like Regulus can see.
When Sirius was 11, and he came home in red and yellow, with a toothy gin and arrogant sparkle, he didn't see. When he boasted of his betrayal and preached his sudden newly developed philosophies of what was right and clever, he didn't see.
He didn't see his mother, head in hands and weeping later that night. Alone in the kitchen, in the comfort of the darkness.
No, only Regulus saw that.
As Sirius slept and dreamed of James Potter, and the Marauders, he didn't see. The small, frail 9 year old that was Regulus, held a bony hand to his mothers bony shoulder. She looked up. The sudden and awful look of terror that clouded her eyes would later haunt Regulus.
"Did he see you?" She screeched in a whisper, he own bony hand gripping Regulus's fragile wrist, "Did he? Regulus!" Her frantic, horse voice came again. Her grip tightened, and it hurt.
"No mother" Regulus whispered. Somehow he knew, even then, that only his father could rouse such a feeling of trepidation within his mother. Her grasp loosened, and dropped from her sons purple wrist.
"Good" she rasped, sitting back. Her limp black hair fell aside a pointed, sallow face. Glassy eyes stared ahead. Empty. Lifeless.
"Good."
When Sirius was 15, and his mother stood, screaming, yelling, Sirius did not see.
"Traitor, filth, stain upon our name! How dare you! How DARE you."
"What's wrong mother, did I upset set? Did I disobey you? I'm so sorry mother, I'm so sorry that I'm not evil and prejudice like you!" Sirius yelled back. And she slapped him. Hard. Brutally. Mercilessly.
"Get out, get out!" She screeched hysterically.
"Gladly!" only when the door slammed did Regulus see his mother collapse, shaking and snivelling.
"He never listens" She muttered to herself, "Why does he never listen?" Sirius didn't see. He didn't see how his mother shrieked only as he betrayed the family, not the legacy. Only as he mentioned James Potter, only as he called him brother. Of course it was so Sirius to believe his mother was tittering on about stupid pictures of Muggles on his walls. To not notice his deeper betrayal.
A year later, when Father beat Sirius, bruised and bloody, until he was naught but a heap on the ground, he didn't see.
"You just watched! And you call yourself my mother! You are no mother of mine!" Sirius screamed.
"Fine. FINE! You are no son of mine! Traitor!" Sirius turned cold and indifferent.
"Fine" He repeated in cool insistence.
"Fine" His mother hissed. And then he turned, thundering up the stairs.
"Where are you going! Come back! COME BACK!" By the time Regulus got up the stairs, and stood in brothers door frame, Sirius was shoving his clothes in a rucksack, possessions cluttering his floor.
"Sirius" Sirius turned quicker than lightening, his wand raised and his eyes black in fury. Seeing his younger brother, he lowered his wand. His stony expression did not leave, however.
"What do you want?" He spat.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like? Packing."
"You can't leave" Sirius didn't seem to notice the raising panic in Regulus's voice.
"Oh I can't? You can't visit your blood-traitor friends Sirius, you can't talk to that mudblood Sirius, you can't eat those filthy muggle crisps Sirius, you can't leave Sirius." His eyes were hard, defiant. His voice cold and bitter.
"That's the whole point Regulus, I can! I can do whatever the fuck I want! I'm leaving! You can't stop me!" He yelled, before throwing his rucksack over his shoulder and picking up a few photographs of his friends. Regulus watched as Sirius walked from the room, old toys breaking as he stood carelessy on them, a photo frame smashing under his foot.
Good, Regulus thought, I hope it was a picture of that Potter.
But as he followed his brother out, and he glanced down at the broken frame, Regulus stopped dead. Sirius was waving in the photo, grinning without a care. He looked 9, maybe 10. His arm was slung around Regulus, who was also grinning, more shyly perhaps. The cracked glass of the black and white picture hurt Regulus more than he'd ever admit.
He rushed from the room.
"Sirius" His brother turned.
"What?"
"Please don't go, please!" The 13 year old Regulus begged.
"Why would you care? Why would you, the perfect son, care?"
"I don't want you to go"
Sirius laughed coldly.
"Well then, this is the day little Prince Regulus doesn't get what he wants" Then he turned, and continued to march away.
"Where will you go?" Regulus was getting desperate, and he thought that if he confronted Sirius on the fact he had nowhere to run to, he would stay.
"To stay with family; James and his parents" Regulus stopped.
To stay with family.
Sirius watched his brother for a moment, and seeing his eyes staring into space he laughed bitterly under his breath and turned once again.
To stay with family.
Regulus heard Sirius's fading footsteps, and numbly followed.
James.
Sirius had reached the bottom of the stairs, and his mother was grasping his shirt.
"No, no you have to stay. Don't leave! Stay. Stay! No!" She shrieked. "NO!"
Orion Black stood stonily in the kitchen doorway, watching his oldest son.
"Step away Walburga" He said in his usual booming voice, his eyes not leaving Sirius's. Walburga shook her head frantically.
"Walburga" His fathers voice was commanding, and Walburga, with a broken look, seemed to detach her hands from Sirius.
"You leave now boy, then you won't be coming back"
"No" Sirius shook his head, "Or I'll get this won't I?" He pointed to his face. His lip cut. His cheek bones purple. His neck gashed.
"I won't be coming back, you can count on that" The door slammed.
Regulus eyes trained to the window. Sirius was storming away, his black robes and blacker hair billowing behind him. He didn't turn. Regulus watched with glassy and lifeless eyes. The same eyes his mother would have.
Regulus would tell no one of the pain he felt in his chest. The worst pain. He couldn't breathe. Sirius. Inside he was screaming. Come back. Stay. But his face betrayed nothing. Sirius is not brave. This is not brave.
His mother was screaming.
"Sirius" She was on her knees, and then side. Crawling, begging, clawing the floor. Hysterical.
"My son!"
"Get up" His father ordered, "Stupid woman, get up!" Walburga stayed planted to the floor. Weeping.
"I should go out there" His father exclaimed, "the cruciatus curse ought to teach him"
"NO!" his mother shrieked, clutching the ends of her husbands robes, "My son!"
Orion kicked her away. His cold eyes stayed on his mothers face.
"Regulus go upstairs" he said.
"No! Father please" Regulus was crying now.
"GET UPSTAIRS" His father roared, and he struck Regulus. And again. Another. Again. Until he was more bloody and beaten than his brother. His mother was still screaming.
"Kreacher!" His father yelled. A pop. A elf.
"Master?"
"Bring him upstairs, lock his door, thats an order!" Kreacher bow until his long nose touched the floor.
"Yes master" A pop. He was gone. Regulus was gone.
"No" Regulus crumpled to the floor. His door locked. A sad look. Kreacher was gone.
Regulus couldn't move. His ribs ached and stung and burned. Broken. His whole body.
To stay with family.
His heart.
"STUPID WOMAN! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU HAVE GIVEN ME A USELESS HEIR!"
His father was shouting. His mother wailing.
"Please no" She yelled, "NO!"
"HAVE I NOT FUFILLED MY DUTIES AS A HUSBAND? HAVE I NOT PROVIDED AND WORKED? WHAT ABOUT YOU WALBURGA? A BLOODTRAITER, YOU HAVE BIRTHED ME A TRAITOR!"
"Regulus, he is pure, please stop, please" He was hitting her. Regulus knew. It hurt him. His mother. His mother.
Orion was clever. He hit her on the torso and the hips. No one would see.
Regulus was 13. He knew. He could see. Sirius never could.
He didn't stand behind his crying mother, with a hand on her shoulder. She would grab his hand, and squeeze it. Mumble what a good boy he was as she pulled up her slipping collar, which revealed her purple shoulders.
"ORION PLEASE! NO!" Regulus cried harder.
"Mother" He muttered, desperately crawling to the door. His nails clawed the wood.
"We will make a new son! To replace your foul one" his father boomed. His mother wailed. Regulus heard fabric tearing. His father groaning. His mother screaming.
No, this was not the first time.
Regulus was 6. Only 6. The door was locked. Inside he heard his mother, yelling. His fathers cold voice.
"I am your husband! Will you deny me Walburga, would you dare?" He had not understood. Now he did.
Downstairs, his mother was still wailing.
This was his fault.
And Regulus would not forgive his brother.
No for this.
Orion Black died 3 years later. Natural causes. He was dead in days. Walburga cried, Regulus didn't know why. Perhaps it was because Sirius never came to the funeral, or simply because he was her husband.
Regulus's mother came to him that night, she sat on his bed an shook him awake.
"My son" She whispered, and cradled Regulus as she would when he was six, not sixteen. "My baby" she cried, "Just me and you now"
"Just me and you" Regulus agreed numbly.
Walburga fell sick 7 months later. It started off as just a cold, then a temperature. Regulus would sit my his mother's bedside and hold a cold flannel to her burning skin.
"My son" She would whisper. The dementia started slowly, she would forget things quickly, and scream in the night.
One night, Regulus was walking into his mothers room with a glass of water.
Her eyes were bloodshot and black, her black hair frizzled and greying. She looked at him, and smiled.
"My son has come back to me" she wept, and held out her arms.
"I'm here" Regulus said softly, falling into his mothers arms.
"I never thought you'd return" She mumbled, "My Sirius" Regulus's hands loosened from the fabric of his mothers sheets.
Sirius.
Regulus knew, somehow, that his mother would always love her oldest son. She would always need him.
"I didn't want to marry your father you know" She whispered into Regulus's hair, "It was awful at first. I was alone, with a cruel husband and so many responsibilities. And then I had you." she was crying now.
"My baby boy. You were so beautiful, even then, a tiny head of black hair and the brightest eyes. I vowed never to let anyone hurt you. But I-it was m-me how hurt you" His mother sobbed. "My first son. You were mine, and only mine. You saved me from your father. I loved you so much, your fingers were so small, your toes even smaller."
She kissed Regulus's head, "My son has come back"
"Yes mother" Regulus said hollowly, "I'm here, Sirius is here"
"I had another son. Regulus. The good son. I love him, you know. But never as much as you Sirius, never."
Regulus felt the tears, but he spoke anyway, his heart sinking terribly.
"No mother, never as much as me" Because Regulus would give this one thing to his mother. Sirius hadn't come, but Regulus could let his mother die happy.
"I want to go to sleep now" His mother said tiredly, "I just want to sleep"
"I know mother" Regulus whispered, a wetness on his cheeks that could only be tears "I'm right here, Sirius is right here"
As Walburga fades, Regulus swears she smiles.
Sirius hadn't seen, he hadn't understood that Regulus wasn't a Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff or Gryffindor. No. Regulus didn't do what was clever or nice, or in his brothers case, right. No.
Regulus did what was necessary