My name is Inka Preston. I am eighteen years old riding my way through space on a journey home.
Except, home is a relative term.
For me, home is here. It will always be here, stuck between a steel cage and surrounded by eternal dark skies.
I pressed my hand onto one of the hibernation pods and sighed. It was the same one I came to on nights that I couldn't sleep, which for the last three years had been more of a certainty then it had a probability. Tired, it seemed, had become a part of my personality now.
How I envied them so. They were clueless, ignorant to the sheer emptiness that cradled them. They would get to make it to their home, a place called Homestead two, a new planet where they could colonize and start fresh.
"Inka, what are you doing down here?"
I turned, my mother was scrunching her still wet blonde curls into a towel.
"Come on." She said, staring at the pod and then back at me. "You shouldn't be down here sweetie."
She reached for my hand and with a smile I took it, allowing her to lead me upstairs.
"I have a surprise for you." She squealed, a red delight kissing her cheeks.
Today was my birthday. I know, I should be more excited, right? Like my mother is, and always was when it came to my birthday, but for me it was a day that will always haunt me and ping sparks against my chest.
It was on this day, three years ago, that my dad; Jim Preston died.
When we finally made it upstairs Arthur, the robot who ran the bar here, smiled at me from across the table.
"Always a pleasure Miss Inka."
He smiled and took my hand and laid a small kiss to it, then the same to my mother. He just stared at the space between us and then smiled.
"Oh, Miss Inka, how you look like your mother."
There were a lot of things I shared with my mother. We both had blonde hair, though, despite my mother's outrage two years ago, I had chosen to do lavender tips to it, and we both had brown eyes.
I turned back to her, studying her face, the fine lines that pressed against them with coming age, but still, despite that she was still beautiful.
"Thank you, Arthur." I responded before taking my seat in front of him.
"A jack and coke Arthur." My mother said politely as she took a seat next to me.
"Actually Arthur." I turned when my ears caught the glint of mischief streaming from her voice.
"Make it two." She said holding two fingers up and smiling at me while her head cocked to the side.
Arthur looked at me and then pushed himself closer to my mother.
"But Miss Aurora, I can't. She's under age. I would lose my job."
My mom tsked and shook her head. "Come on Arthur, who's gonna tell? We are literally the only two humans awake on this ship."
"Yes, but mam, it's not the point. It's the principle."
My mother nodded, and rose with her tongue pressed against her cheek.
"Will you give us a moment darling?"
I nodded. I knew better than to say no to my mother when she got that tone. That tone meant trouble, and I was happy, for once not to be on the other side of that.
I turned away, pretending not to listen to their conversation.
"Arthur, this is all she has. All she will ever have."
"Yes, mam, but."
"But nothing." She called back to him. "I don't want Inka to be deprived. She's a good girl, a sweet girl, and she deserves a treat on her birthday. I'm not going to get her drunk Arthur. Just one drink."
"Come on Arthur." She said after a few seconds of silence. "You promised."
"Yes mam." He replied in a steel tone. "Yes, I did."
I pretended to come out of a trans when my mom and Arthur returned.
"Surprise." She said, cradling the drink in her hand and then urging me to mine. "I thought you would like to try this. It's good, and I think you'll like it."
I laughed a little. I couldn't help but notice that my drink was served in a much smaller glass than my mothers and that it was only about half full anyway. Silly paranoid Arthur.
I picked up the cold glass and clinked it with my mothers.
"Happy Birthday Sweetie." She said.
"Thank you, mother." I said before taking the first burning chug of alcohol.
My mother was wrong. So, wrong. I hated it, but I wasn't going to tell her that. I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
"What did you think?" She said placing her still half full glass onto the counter.
"It was fine." I said, pushing the class in front of Arthur, who eagerly took it and looked around to see if anyone had seen what had happened.
"Just fine?" My mom said with a laugh. "Honey, it's ok if you hated it. You can tell me."
I shook my head and allowed one tear to cascade softly down my cheek.
"Honey." She said as she rubbed my back. "What's wrong?"
I turned to my mother, seeing the empty void that filled her brown eyes.
I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know what I had done, but I was afraid. So, afraid.
"I did it. Or I tried to." I said, forcing my face to turn away from her.
"Did what?" I cringed when I heard the screeching teeth clenching sound that tore from her.
"But it didn't work. I think something went wrong."
"Inka. Just tell me."
I took a deep breath and turned back to her.
"I tried to wake him. Adam Torrens."