Hazy light filtered through the window. Small feet splayed out in front of bruised legs. Little toes wiggled as a stained gray boys' shirt did the job of a nightgown. The little girl hummed and cocked her head as she made pictures from the cracks in the wall.
And then the sound came from behind her-the soft movement of something opening, something pushed, something closing.
Long, lank, red hair moved slightly as she turned her head toward the door of the small room. The box was back! New toys! A genuine smile from the girl as she rose and moved across the room to sit at the box. Most 5 year olds were impulsive. They would open such a box immediately and decimate its contents. But not this one. She knew already that this box and its contents were special and should be treated as such. The girl smiled again, and gave a giggle as she revered the one in front of her. She must have been very good, done well, played well, to get this treasure.
Up on her knees now she ghosted fingers over the hard cardboard before gingerly pulling the pieces upward. She peered in….'Ohh' she whispered, smiling, while delicately lifting out a small doll. She shook it, heard a small crackle from its inside. "Red doll' she murmured, lovingly. She knew this. A small but long bladed knife would be in the box and she would need to cut the doll apart if she wanted what was inside.
The knife struck the doll in the stomach and red liquid trickled out, slogging the sound of the rattle. The girl frowned as she cut apart the middle only to find no prize there. A petulant whine began as she continued to cut, to kill the doll, while the red liquid covered her hands, freshly staining her shirt, until there, in the dolls neck, a brown wrapper became visible. "шоколад!" Chocolate. The wrapper was savagely attacked and the girl lay down on her side, the dolls head in one hand, giggling and very much enjoying her treat.
A quiet moment passed before the door opened again and a loud whisper spoke; Little Spider…come and play now….we have new friends for you…..The smile flashed as she rolled over and leapt toward the door….
The now woman version of the girl awoke with a violent start, brow furrowed, eyes wet and wide, body shaking and nauseated. She sat up and swung her feet to the floor as her hands took hold of her head. All of her nightmares were horrible, but the ones that incorporated her childhood memories were near the worst.
"Shit," Natasha whispered as she ran her hands through her hair, and stood, stretching. The sky was still dark, not even close to dawn. Grimacing, she walked gingerly around the couch, her lately typical sleep space, and cricked her neck from side to side as she pulled the laptop from the small table in the corner. Back on the couch, purposeful keystrokes took her through email, files, tasks, reports and responses; Nothing complicated and very routine. This was what calmed her and eased her mind so she could shake the memories and the demons that came with them. Hands clasped and arms stretched over her head as she built and released the tension along with a deep breath.
Opening a new window she navigated through the safe browser and smirked to see who else was online this early. Clicking the message icon she sent,
"You know they don't deliver milk any more, right?"
"Ha." Came the nearly immediate reply. "Going for a run. Why are you up so early?"
She ignored his question. "Don't go too far. Looks like we may have an early morning."
"You ok?"
He always pushed but he also always dropped it. She didn't need to answer. "Keep your phone close." And she exited out.
Done, she closed the laptop and went to get dressed. In the short time that that took her, her phone pinged with details on the new mission. A few texts with Steve told her he'd be doing laps around the tidal basin loop.
Natasha was halfway across town in no time. A DC Sunday at 6:30 in the morning was a driver's dream.
.