Disclaimer: Don't own the song that the story was inspired by, don't own the characters that I abuse with zealous relish.
I wouldn't have missed it for the World
Tenchi sat on the deck at the back of his house. Watching the night breeze twist the leaves in the trees with its gentle caress. He had to smile through his heartache. They were gone now… the whole circus… the carnival… the seemingly endless madness was gone. And despite the pain, he couldn't help but smile at the memories.
Smiling gently at the night Tenchi closed his eyes, if he concentrated hard enough and just listened to the soft whisper of the night he could still hear her voice. Her soft seductive voice, whispering to him to join in the madness and fun, it had seemed like it would never end. The endless carousel of joy and delight felt like it would go on forever.
Somehow despite everything he lost with the loss of the girls he could not bring himself to mourn. It had been too great an experience for him to regret or ever forget. No, he would treasure his time with the girls and would treasure his time with her most of all. If anything he would forever hold those times with her close to his heart. His only true regret… having discovered his heart's path too late.
Tenchi continued to sit on the deck… the night continuing on without him. The world continuing to revolve around him, while time advanced in its unending march, it all seemed so unimportant at that moment. It had come to such and abrupt end just one moment the girls were all there laughing and happy and his family was whole and the next, they were gone. And now his life was empty.
They had all left after that message from Jurai. Even though it had taken more than a month to happen it still felt like it had happened within the space of a blush. First the princesses had left. Ayeka and darling Sasami… Ayeka tearfully lamenting having to return to her royal life of pomp and rigid conformity, while Sasami cried her lost family and life.
They had all cried; everyone had been struck with the somberness of the moment when at last the pair had to make their final goodbyes. Even the memory of that day still brought a painful twinge to his heart. Placing his hand over his heart Tenchi turned unseeing eyes onto the beautiful night before him. So lost in his memories Tenchi could no longer see the world around him. It had been at least 3 years since Ayeka and Sasami's departure… but it felt like a lifetime had past between that day and this.
The message from Jurai had arrived several years after Ryoko's release from the cave. Nearly a decade after Kagato and Dr…. Tenchi stopped for a moment in his thoughts; it had been long enough for him to have actually forgotten that man's name. The only thing that came to his mind was Washu's nickname for him… Octopus-head. Shaking his head and concentrating Tenchi tried to focus his thoughts down to the name… but despite his best efforts he still could not remember the man's name. No, that part of his memory seemed to be completely wiped clean. Shrugging off the thought Tenchi easily slipped back into his memories. Relishing if only for the moment the chaos that had been his life back then.
The moon had risen quite high in the night sky when finally Tenchi rose from his seat at the edge of the deck and turned to enter the house. His father had long since left, deciding to retire and travel abroad. Tenchi couldn't fault his father for leaving. The house was like a ghost factory. The memories so strong with the life of those days haunted every space within the building. It had been their home, not just his and his father's but also all of them.
Smiling as he passed the kitchen Tenchi couldn't help wondering what Sasami looked like. She would be beautiful of course, having finally merged with Tsunami. Regret filled his eyes as he slowly closed up the house. As he washed the dishes from his dinner the ghost of Sasami's laughter and joyous presence haunted the kitchen. Sighing Tenchi finished with the kitchen and turned off the lights in the living room. As he passed through the darkened room he could still see Ayeka and Ryoko sitting on the couch sharing a bowl of some random snack, most probably Sasami's cookies, completely enthralled by the soap opera.
Ayeka… what did she look like? What did she act like now? Would that gentle beauty beneath the façade of royalty have remained? With another sigh as he climbed the stairs Tenchi hoped it had. For that wonderful person that hid behind the rigidity to become transformed by courtly life would be a tragedy.
Tenchi smirked, wondering what the girls would think of him now? So old compare to the boy he had been. Now an old man of 29 Tenchi could honestly say he now knew his heart. He had more than enough time to discover himself and where his heart laid. Dating was not something he did anymore, having discovered nothing that this planet could offer could compare to the standards he gained from his life with the girls.
No, no woman born of earth could compare to any of them. And so it was easier to be single and a reclusive hermit than to risk alienating the entire female population. He figured eventually he would get over comparing every woman he met to the girls. He knew he looked for the best traits of each in every woman he dated.
He looked for Washu's intelligence and indelicate bluntness, Sasami's sweetness and innocence, Ayeka's delicate sensibilities and gentle manners, Mihoshi's honesty and naiveté, and Ryoko's seductive mischievousness and hidden fragility. He looked for all that and more. And with no surprise no single woman could compare. As Tenchi reached his bedroom door he paused.
With his head on his door Tenchi allowed the tears that always welled up at this time of night and this time of year to fall. Out of everything he missed her the most. Whispering her name on a sigh, Tenchi allowed the words he couldn't say all those years ago slip silently from his heart and past his lips.
It was on a night such as tonight, with the moon full and the seasons changing from summer's heat to winter's frost that she had left. She had left after Ayeka… Left without a backward glance… left without ever honestly saying goodbye. Which Tenchi hoped meant that someday… maybe someday soon, she would be back. And with her return would come the madness of his old life… the others and the return of his family.
Lifting his head from the door, Tenchi swallowed his tears and wiped away the evidenced of the few that had passed his control. Opening the door the memories surged forward to meet him. There the ghost of her presence sat on his bed, the memory of that day haunting him every night he went to bed. Since the day she left he relived that moment. The moment that so much went unsaid. There before him, the ethereal form of her on that day waited nervously, fidgeting incessantly.
Lifting her eyes to his, he could see the tear stains on her cheek. Then her lips formed words that while he could not hear, his memories supplied the sound. It was ironic… her departure hadn't hurt… not on that day. No, it wasn't until weeks later, when he started to notice the impact her absence made in his life that the pain came. And the pain was slow, gradual… almost like a ghost had been stealing his soul from him one breath a day.
But still he could not regret his time with her… he would endure the pain of his loss every night of his life if it meant he could hold the memory of her confession on that night forever with him. He had been stunned by her confession of love. No, that's not true. He had somehow always known she loved him. Loved him in a way he had thought he would never be able to return. But he had been stunned by the lack of guile in her voice and demeanor.
She stated it like it was a simple fact of life, like stating how a person needs air to live. And in a way, it was one and the same. She needed him like he needed air. And now, despite the distance and the separation of time, he needed her as well. Needed her like he needed air. Needed her like he needed water… Needed her for his life to begin again.
Walking further into the room, Tenchi watched as the ghost of her rose from his bed to pace before him. He had remembered he had still been too stunned to do much of anything. But finally her ghost stopped her frantic pacing and stood before him. She lifted a phantasmal hand to caress his cheek as a gentle if not sad smile playing across her face.
Her smile broadened and she lifted to the tips of her toes to kiss him. And just like every night previous Tenchi could feel the faint tingle of her essence upon his lips. Then as things are wont to do, her ghost would disappear into the vespers of the night. He never finished the memory… never got past the kiss… never progressed beyond that magical moment when he could feel her soul touch his and for a moment… unite.
Tenchi turned away from the bed… for a moment his mind began to replay the memory and he knew his heart couldn't take it… not hearing her confession once again … not losing her twice in one night. It was enough to continuously lose her each night after night, but to lose her repeatedly in one night? The heartbreak would be too much to bear.
It was funny how the thought of trying to find her or request for the girls to return never occurred to him. And now as much as he wanted to beg them all to return and turn his life back upside down, he couldn't. It was too hard. That and he had waited too long. He was certain by now, they had all moved on. Moved on beyond him and the life they all shared.
So swallowing his heart in hopes of returning it to his chest Tenchi turned back to his bed and sighed with relief when he didn't see her ghost sitting there ready to replay the memory again. Tenchi prepared for bed, gathering his pajamas and leaving his room for the onsen. To say the memories in his bedroom were difficult was to underrate the memories hidden within the shelter of the onsen.
Memories of all the girls, memories of the laughter and the joy… memories of happiness and rivalry… memories in all their poignant and capricious whimsy engulfed him once he entered the onsen. Shrugging his shoulders and going about his business Tenchi tried to ignore the remembered shouts of anger and the peals of laughter. Finally relaxing back into the heat of the water and allowing the soothing temperature to mollify his feelings of woe Tenchi never heard the door to the onsen open.
Yosho entered the onsen. It had been a long time since he had entered the house. Preferring to avoid the painful memories of loss, the loss of the girls had made the loss of both his darling Itsuki and Achika all the more desperate. They girls had filled the void that the loss of the two most important women in his life had created. And while no one could replace them in his heart, the girls had filled his life beyond the point of thought.
Yosho could still hear them… all of them. Still hear the fighting and the laughter… the tears and the biting silence. He could still remember what it had felt like to be needed again. To be wanted, if not as a husband, then as a brother and as a father figure. He missed the girls more than he would ever willingly admit. He would have never thought they would have made his life so complete.
Ayeka his darling sister, she had grown into an amazing beauty and he could not help the twinge of regret that he felt knowing what pain he had caused her. Sasami, the sister he looked on with mixed emotions. As Sasami grew and resembled Tsunami more and more, it became difficult for Yosho to separate his reverence for Tsunami and his adoration for the young Sasami. Yet, despite everything… he missed her… her happy laughter and her delightful cooking.
Washu… there was a quandary shrouded in an enigma. His emotions for her crossed the delicate border of friendship. After several late night talks between the pair, Washu had discussed her past and shared her fears concerning Ryoko, and it had been after one such talk that resulted in Washu deciding to earnestly attempt to repair the damage to her relationship with Ryoko. It had been a difficult journey for both mother and daughter and had required a great deal of personal growth. But in the end, four years after Kagato… they were tenuously maintaining the relationship.
It had been during that four-year journey that Washu had adopted her adult form, which had at first been a bit of an upsetting issue for the household. Ryoko remained dubious of Washu immediately after her transformation, while Ayeka guarded Tenchi like a hawk. Once it had been proven that Washu's interest in Tenchi was simply genetic if not entirely scientific, Ayeka's apprehensions relented.
Ryoko remained mistrustful of Washu, until the night Mihoshi inadvertently brought mother and daughter closer. Washu was conducting an experiment on Tenchi relating to his ability to create the Wings of the Light Hawk. Tenchi was straining his powers to the brink, tapping into a fount of power none had known existed. Washu had been distracted trying to re-calibrate her instrumentation in order to measure Tenchi's powers, when Mihoshi had entered the lab and found the single most destructive cord to trip over and disconnect.
Suddenly before anyone could react, the counter force that Tenchi had been pushing against disappeared. Tenchi's powers flared wildly out of control for a fraction of a second. And that was all that was needed for Washu's lab to instantly sets itself to defense mode, setting annihilation, and all living entities within the lab were considered targets. Washu included. Ryoko had somehow sensed Tenchi's powers flare violently and raced to the lab.
Upon entering Ryoko found Mihoshi at the door, gathering from the destruction and Mihoshi's injuries that the lab was set for defense, Ryoko quickly removed Mihoshi from the lab. Then returned to the lab using her DNA as an override to enter as she had the first time. Once inside it was obvious how dangerous the situation was. Ryoko used ever last ounce of stealth and cunning in order to save the two singularly most important people in her life. And in the end the mother-daughter pair had grown closer.
Yosho had to smile while the family had still remained the same; things had been different from that moment on. Somehow they all became infinitely closer. With the reconciliation of mother and daughter the role of group mother now had a clear lead. Leaving the rest of the girls to be girls. And while he could not fault any of the girls for their departure, the pain of loss and absence made the almost endless stretch of time seem boundless and vacant.
Smile turning bittersweet Yosho continued to prepare for his soak. Releasing a great sigh as the ghost of memories surrounded him, Yosho felt a saddened chuckle rise in his throat. The onsen, one of the more enduring signs of the girls but definitely not the only one; to the few visitors that the shrine received the taletell remnants of the girls' presence seemed unnoticeable. But for Yosho… even the small flowers along the path were enough.
Memories of Sasami picking flowers, skipping along and laughing with Ryo-ohki at her side nearly brought a tear to his eye. Releasing yet another great sigh, Yosho walked over to the pool and gently sank in. Unlike Tenchi, Yosho could not bring himself to use the now defunct girls' side. The memories were simply too overwhelming. The laughter, the shouts, the angry battles and the tantalizing peeks at full body blush simply more than he was willing to cope with.
Yosho knew his grandson was in the onsen. Had seen the now mature man enter and had watched as he made the memory laden journey to the girls side. Yosho chuckled again. Tenchi seemed to revel in the pain of loss, the younger Masaki becoming morosely content to simply wait for the girls to return. Yosho shook his head, all the young man had to do was ask. But just as always with Tenchi, fear of hurting another sealed his mouth. So they had all left, waiting and hoping for him to make a stand for what he wanted. Each girl hoping that he would for once tell him he needed them. If not as a lover and wife, then as a friend, each girl was willing to accept whatever he offered. But he had to offer them the opportunity to accept.
And in typical Tenchi fashion he had let them go, had remained silent and allowed them to leave. Yosho shook his head as he allowed the waters soothe away the tightness of his muscles. No, Tenchi was not the only one that had remained silent. All the Masaki men had remained silent. It seemed to be hereditary. All three men had allowed each girl to slip through their fingers. Anyone of the girls would have stayed if they had been told they were wanted. Sometimes knowing you are wanted and needed; can erase the blow of not hearing three special little words.
The girls had needed that confirmation. They had all needed that approval that the men in their lives appreciated them and at the least cared. And when they had started leaving it appeared the other two Masaki men were taking lessons from the youngest. All three had remained silent and accepted their fate to live the rest of their lives without the girls. The trio had accepted the fate without considering the consequences. And now Noboyuki was somewhere on the planet searching for god knows what… Tenchi was the creator a moderately popular manga based on his life with the girls… and himself? Yosho scratched his head… he was still the wise old shire priest.
Ironic, trite, cliché but true… sometimes you have to lose a treasure in order to appreciate its value. And now Yosho would trade his soul simply to have the chaos return. The maddening whirlwind of laughter and tears to come back, the life they brought with them giving his life a purpose. Yosho sank further into the water, would they come back if he asked them too? Or could only Tenchi issuing the request make the difference?
Tenchi allowed his eyes to drift closed, always a bad idea while he was in the onsen, but with the warm and soothing waters surrounding him… he really couldn't bring himself to care about the consequences of such an action. That is… until the daydream/memories surrounded him. Lost to his memories Tenchi could feel her arms wrap around him and her breasts press against his back. Memory returned him to a time when he had been a confused boy with far too many attractive women attracted to him. Who could blame him for responding as he did? They were all beautiful… Tenchi could still hear his friends at school harassing him because he never dated… but then when you had the girls he had waiting for him at home, why date? Tenchi chuckled… maybe he should have dated? Maybe then he could have figured out his heart before things had deteriorated to their departure.
Could have… should have… would have… As the American foreign exchange student had once said… Hope and dream in one hand and spit in another, then watch which one will fill up faster? Well actually the phrase had been far more crass then that, but the point was still valid. He had spent all his time hoping and wishing for his problem with the girls to solve itself… and now all that time wasted did him no good. They were gone when all it would have taken was a few simple words.
Now he could see what they had all been wanting. When he closed his eyes and thought back to that last year, he could clearly see the longing. All they had needed to hear, needed to see was that he cared. He didn't have to mention love or eternity, but at the very least say that he cared for them. And yet he had allowed his fear to rule him. Hoping that smiles and hugs would be enough. But the time for smiles and hugs was over; they each needed more to prove their value and importance in his life. And without that confirmation they simply couldn't place their lives on hold anymore. And so one by one they left. Giving up on his self-reprimanding and depreciating thoughts Tenchi rose from the water and prepared for bed.
Noboyuki sighed; he was tired of this wandering life. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time… such an excellent excuse to escape the memories that haunted every single corner of that house. He couldn't live there if he wanted too, but now… travel the globe seemed so empty and hollow. Swallowing his pride Noboyuki faced the fact that he could do no better than to return home. Despite the memories and the pain, suffering the pain of the memories of that magical hilarious time were better than this aimless searching.
And so having felt a clear path and direction for the first time in 3 years Noboyuki quickly did the time difference calculation in his head and theorized that Tenchi would still be awake. Dashing for his cell phone Noboyuki dialed his home phone number. He was going home… Genuinely smiling for the first time in ages Noboyuki waited for his son to answer the phone.
Tenchi raced to answer the phone. It had been ringing seemingly forever. And when he had finally reached it and answered it with a voice muffled by ragged breathing, he had nearly been startled into passing out from the sound of his father's voice. The conversation was brief and succinct, relaying only the most important of information. His father was returning home and once he was back they would find a way to get the girls back. The family had to be reunited. And so with a smile on his face Tenchi began making plans on getting the house ready for the circus to come home.
Yosho watched as his grandson departed, Tenchi had grown through his trials. Yosho knew that it was never too late. While Tenchi and Noboyuki might have given up hope, he himself knew that as long as Ryoko was alive there was always hope of life returning to the chaos that it had once been. And so with a resolve he had not felt in years, Yosho smiled. Now how to get Ryoko back… for wherever Ryoko led the rest were sure to eventually follow….