Title: Why Ianto never gets lines

Rating: PG

Characters: Everyone from 'Journey's End' during the stand off between the Children of Time and Davros, plus Ianto and Gwen are there.

Spoilers: See above for 'Journey's End'

Notes: This is my own form of poking at plot holes. Let's just say, this is why Ianto, as the title says, never gets lines. So just assume Jack was a bit brighter than he was in the show and brought Ianto and Gwen with him and they ended up with the Doctor and Rose when they encountered Davros. That's all there is to it.


Why Ianto Never Gets Lines

It was a dire face off between the Doctor's friends, and the Daleks. The Doctor couldn't move, couldn't make a choice, because he just couldn't allow any violence to happen. It went against his very core. He could feel the eyes of Rose, Gwen Cooper and Ianto Jones burning into him to the side, and the eyes of the others on the screen were just as intense. He had to do something, had to speak up-

"Um… excuse me?"

The gathering of Daleks, the 'Time Children', Gwen, the Doctor and Davros all turned to Ianto who had a look of confusion on his face.

"I'm sorry but… why are you doing this? Why would you do this?" Ianto's voice was pure confusion, not a drop of upset or despair. Before Davros could answer, Ianto continued, "I mean… really, why? Your plan makes absolutely no sense."

"Explain!" demanded the Dalek closest to Ianto, eyestalk quivering. Ianto looked at it, giving it an up and down before turning his head to Davros.

"Well… It's just that… well, your plan is completely illogical."

"Daleks are always logical!" yelped the Dalek beside him.

"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Mr. Davros."

"Mr.? You are kidding!" Rose exclaimed, looking astonished.

Ianto ignored her in favour of continuing talking to Davros who was glaring at him. "I just don't understand how this plan of yours is supposed to work. I mean first of all, you are organic right? I mean, I can see you are if the rest of you… creatures are anything like Mr. Wiggles over there."

Dalek Cann giggled, "The clever boy speaks!" as Gwen muttered,

"Jack really has rubbed off on you more than literally."

"Really?" squeaked Rose, grinning with interest. Martha had to repress a grin herself as Ianto continued, ignoring the women.

"If you're partially organic, then clearly you have to survive off something, right?"

"Daleks are self sufficient."

"How?"

"Explain."

"No, you explain how you are self sufficient enough to continue respiring after you destroy reality. If all the atoms in all the universes become dust… how will you survive?"

"We shall mould what we require as it is required from the dust."

"But if dust is dead atoms how will you form the required things? And how will you achieve it? Even if by some strange occurrence, you are still alive after you let that bomb off, you won't have any equipment to use to make the required nutrients and other elements and compounds you need. What will you do? Float around in a vacuum of nothing and magic up oxygen and carbon dioxide and nitrogen and whatever else you need?"

"The crucible will sustain us!" Davros snapped, twitching in his chair.

"But… if you destroy reality, that'll include this crucible and the planets around it because otherwise, it's fairly pointless for you to bother, because if you don't destroy the planets then you aren't gonna be the only master race. And, quite frankly, how can you be a master race, if you're the only race? To be a master, you need a servant or a slave or something to lord over. The word master practically demands it, at least in the terms you use it in. Haven't any of you Daleks looked up the word master in a dictionary?"

There was a beat of silence as everyone gaped at Ianto, Jack and the Doctor's faces breaking out into awed grins of delight.

"The human will be silent!" snapped Davros. Ianto however was not finished yet, he seemed to be enjoying himself now.

"Ok, let's just say that the Daleks survive the destruction of reality, and you are able to create something from absolutely nothing to sustain you… then whoever makes the stuff will essentially be serving the rest of the Daleks and therefore won't be masters of the… vacuum."

"Daleks are supreme. We are the master race!"

"Mmm-maybe but as I already said, to be a master race and supreme, you need someone to be better than. So you'll have to allow a lower race of Daleks to form, which is a contradiction of your lifestyle." Ianto looked from the Doctor, to Davros, let his eyes scan over the Daleks around him. He was unable to resist a sneak peak at Jack before looking at Davros again.

"Ianto Jones… you are brilliant!" said the Doctor with a chuckle,

"Oh come on, an elephant could fall through the holes in that evil plot!" Ianto shook his head. "Really, after Canary Warf, I'd have expected more from you lot."

"The human child will be silent!" Davros yelled.

"Word of advice Ianto? Never point out holes in a bad man's plot." The Doctor gave him a small, rueful grin, "It just gives him a chance to fix it."

"Doctor there is not a single redeemable thing about this plan and no amount of shrieking and shouting will change that. Now will you please pull out that screwdriver you're famous for and turn off these holding cells!"

"Ok, now you're just being pedantic!"


Hope you enjoyed that. I'm still experimenting with humour so all concrit is appreciated.

Ginger.