Far away from Earth, a long, long time ago … A scarred little girl enters a cave on the shore line on the small planet she called home. Her heart was pounding; her breathing was out of control as she ran away from a monastery in an attempt to hide from the ones who killed her mother. She had no idea how long she had been running, or even why they came to her planet and waged war on the first place, she only knew they, the Veneks consider her dead because of her mother's last attempt to protect her. She could still see her mother standing in front of her while the arrow pierced the white cloth making it red in an instance. Her frail body collapsed on the cruel, cold stone of the cave as memories of what she lived through swamped her eyes with tears and her heart with sorrow.
She will never forget the last thing her mother said to her
"Cyntrina, when the time comes stand behind me. When you see me fall, lay beneath me – that way they will think we are both hit and you can escape to the caves on the shore line."
Tears poured down her face as the next sentence went through her mind "
"Remember one thing no matter what happens mommy will always love you and be with you" Her voice barely came out from the lump that formed in her throat
"Mommy where are you, I'm scared, I need you"
It echoed from the walls in the dark cave. This time there was no answer, only her own voice adding to the agony of her existence.
Cold, alone and abandoned the little girl floated in memories, of her mother, of the many times she hid from the world in this cave pretending to be a princess of the sea, dreaming, dancing between the walls and the smell of iodide. She always picked this one; it was hard to see since the sun's grasp only reached the other two before it. This one was special, cracked just a little bit on the top it meagerly played with the sun rays during the day and with the moons at night. But this night was different, it was as if the two moons orbiting the little planet knew of the war and cowered in fear behind the clouds.
"This is just a dream, I will soon wake up and my mother will call me for some warm flibisk stew"
She kept repeating to herself between the weeps that drained her breath even more. Faced with the cold reality as she sat in the dark corner behind the rocks that once captured imagination, with her head between her legs and arms squeezing around them, she wandered what happened to the soldiers that came to defend them from the Venek Horde. She remembered their names: D'Argo, Aeryn and John, John Crichton. The last two words on her mother's lips – John Crichton. She could feel the pain in her mother's last scream like a knife ripping through her heart filling it with agony and unbearable pain. Why did they leave? Why did they abandon them in the face of certain death?
Her frail heart couldn't take the pain from the events of that night, the questions ringing in her head made her pull her hair in a wretched attempt to find the most miniscule of hope for some answers. She wanted to fall asleep and never wake up, but when fatigue finally overwhelmed her tiny body just as she whispered
"Good night mommy"
Nightmares danced in front of her eyes, every single time she closed them. She was constantly and endlessly whipping the tears from her face with her once white cloth. She watched her cloth for a long time, remembering the day her mother gave it to her. It was a cold and rainy day
"Cyntrina if you want to go outside take your cloth"
Wandering yet elated with a curios look in her hazel eyes she asked:
"What cloth, mother I don't have …"
Then her mother showed her the cloth she had been sewing for the last two nights
"Now you do"
Seeing the beautiful white piece of cloth sewn together in a tiny cloak, she threw herself in to her mother's arms
"Thank you mother, thank you I love you so much…"
Memories of the smell of incense and fresh forest fruits in her mother's arms punched her in the belly like a hammer.
The false safety of her memories vanished when her tiny body finally gave in and she fell into a deep slumber. The night seemed to last forever as she lived through her escape once again in her dreams, being surrounded by the Veneks as their desire to kill was growing stronger, seeing her mother die, feeling her blood drain on her cheeks as she laid paralyzed under her mother's body with her heart in her throat; hearing the Venek hoard's wild roars of victory while she was hiding under the pile of the Nurses' dead bodies; crawling desperately out of the pool of their blood when she smelled the burning fire in the monastery where the Veneks dumped the burden of their bodies. She kept waking up throughout the night until she finally fell sound asleep when the sun brought her a friction of peace next morning. The sun always gave her hope – the salve her young soul was acing for.
Days, weeks went by and the little girl was still hiding in the cave. She kept thinking about her mother, about the soldiers about what happed. Could she have done something different, was it somehow her fault? What is she supposed to do now? Answers kept eluding her mind while she was restlessly roaming around the cave. Once she tried to get out but she cowered and ran back as soon as she heard the sound of the sea birds gracefully landing on the beach in their search for food. Her eyes seemed to shy away from the sun light from all the time spent in the cave. But she liked it there; it had everything she needed, some water, rain that gathered in a big bowl of stone that nature seemed to created in the lower section of the cave in advance only for this moment in time – when one little girl needed it the most; and some sea fruits that daily gathered greeting the little girl with diversity of colors and flavors.
The first few days she couldn't bear the thought of food but later on her refusal for food was no match for the pain in her stomach.
A prisoner in her own home planet, her young and fragile heart broke every time she tried to leave the cave. She would peek through the exit just to see the sun, to hear the sees' waves on the shore, feel the warm breeze caressing her face and playing with her long blond hair carrying the smell of the sea. That was her one and only joy, the instance she was soaking up the beauty of her planet and only for a second thought "Maybe it didn't happen…" but this illusion was destroyed every single time she saw the Venek flag sticking out from the sand on the beach. But one day her illusion lasted longer when she could no longer see the ugly reminder of her reality, the flag was gone.
She slid quickly back into the cave and heard a whisper:
"Cyntrina…"
Rubbing her eyes in an attempt to see through the haze, she strained her senses to figure out if there was someone there or she was hearing things; maybe she was going crazy from all that pain.
"Cyntrina"
The voice declared again but this time it was a clear deep male voice coming closer to her. Shriveling, she mumbled
"Who's there? Who are you?"
The voice was becoming stronger until finally a strange, pale creature appeared in front of her eyes. It was a creature unlike she had ever seen, pale with yellow eyes glowing on its' head, wearing leathery reddish to black coat with strange black feathery sleeves, black pants covering its legs until the knees where black stockings stretched to the strangest shoes on its feet. It also had somewhat strange black leather shirt with an extremely tall collar, to the point that its pale head seemed to be sticking out of a vase or a bottle.
"Hello little girl. My name is Maldis"
His voice abounded arrogance as if the name was supposed to mean something. Backing into the cold wall of the cave, her eyes gazed into the creature while her heart was beating faster. Somehow she found the strength to ask:
"How did you find me? Did the Veneks sent you to kill me? How did you know my name?"
Feeling her fear like a warm jolt of sun ray through his body he answered:
"So many questions bother your young mind. Well I guess I won't lose anything if I tell the truth once in a while. I came here to eat, but don't worry I don't feast on flesh no, no that's just disgusting. I feed of thoughts, souls, life energy call it whatever you want, whatever your mother Nurse Kelsa taught you it's called, I call it lunch"
Cyntrina: "You know of my mother?"
Maldis: "Little one, I know many things just as I know every single Venek is now dead"
Cyntrina: "You killed them all?"
Maldis:"Well, not all of them some of them killed each other but the ones that were left afterwards"
Hint of disappointment appeared in his voice as he leaned on his wooden cane.
Cyntrina stood glued to the wall staring alternately at this creature that came out of nowhere and the bowl of rain water behind it. How did it find her and why does it not have a reflection in the water? Doubting, yet wanting an answer she asked:
"Are you here to save me?"
Sensing a hint of hope Maldis, disgusted came close to her tiny shuddered body as she was crawling against the wall in fear he answered:
"No." he touched her face with his black gloves and continued
"You are here to save me"
Once the cold leather touched her face, stuck between the wall and this ominous creature, tears gathered in her eyes as she screamed:
"What do you mean? Please don't hurt me!"
Feeling the boost of fear and pain from the little girl he grinned as he yelled an answer from his pale lips:
"Hurt you, I don't want to hurt you – If you die I die in transit, you see this forsaken planet is in the middle of nowhere and when I travel I tend to get hungry that's why you are coming with me, I always plan on the long term"
In a vague attempt to defend herself, she tried to push him away but the only thing that came out were her words and thoughts of terror:
"No, leave me alone, I'm not going anywhere with you!"
Maldis, keen he was the cause of the fear that shriveled her body replied:
"What makes you think you have a choice? My chances of survival are 50/50 while yours are next to none. I can always kill you now but since you are a child and your fears are much greater than the ones of an adult you are of decent use to me"
The thought that her mother gave her life not once but twice, gave her the strength to scream her answer one more time:
"No, I will not leave my home with someone who wants to enslave me!"
Maldis' eyebrows rose in surprise, she was smarter than she looked but he had a solution even for the smart ones as he lifted his arm toward the exit.
"Oh, I see. You want to play smart? Alright let's play. Chose your partner I chose the Venek entering this cave"
It was merely a harmless image from her memory but her young mind didn't know that, so the sight of the Venek solider coming in the cave with his gray armor, bloody weapons, and odor of death with his eyes darker than a black hole locked on her, growling in wrath foaming from he's snout slowly thumping on the stone toward her left her face a frozen in a glassy stare of horror. She collapsed on the floor crouched in fear awaiting her death. Maldis just stood there consuming her fear, her pain as memories of her mother's dying hour took over her, spreading his arms he contently laughed at the little girl's misery. The words he screamed in pleasure afterwards made Cyntrina realize his powers stretched beyond her ability of comprehension.
"You see, I can do this all day with as many Veneks, snakes, wasps and any other dark, deep fear of your soul, I can cause you pain make you beg for death in agony but not kill you for the rest of your pathetic life, or at least until I am bored which is the same thing. That's what's going to happen if you decide to stay here but if you come with me your torture will last until I find my next victim. So what do you chose a short miserable life or a long life in misery? Think about your mother, what would she want you to do? Live or die?"
Cyntrina, no longer hearing the hard thumping from the Venek's boots slowly lifted her head from under her stiff arms and barely whispered:
"I will come with you"
Satisfied he crushed her every hope for a better life on her own planet he grinned as he spoke:
"Good girl, now how about you go out and take one of those Venek ships and some food before we get the frell out of here".
Knowing she had nowhere to go or somebody to rely on she obeyed this strange creature.
And so she was born, that day the seed of hate was planted into this young girl's heart. While she was traveling to the next planetary system in the Venek vessel Maldis never left her side, always torturing her with the last memories of her mother causing her the most dreadful of hallucinations, one moment she could feel her mother's touch combing her hair bringing tranquility with the song she always sang to her before bet time, and the next moment just as she convinced herself it was real Maldis turned her mother's gentle touch into a brut Venek pull into steaming furnace.
The torture went on for days until Cyntrina couldn't recognize what was real anymore. She sat glued on the seat clinging and griping it with her arms every time Maldis was having a feast of her fear, pain, and anger. The small intervals of time he left her alone seemed to last a fraction of a second, just enough time for her to snap back to the inside of the dark cold Venek vessel and check on the backward trajectory to the Venek planetary system Maldis told her to set. His presence haunted her with every breath she took, he could do anything to her, take her life at any moment but he also kept her alive.
The Venek home planet peeked on the horizon and brought a sip of hope in Cyntrina's heart. As the Venek vessel moved closer her mind naively plotted escape plans from this monster that now owned her, dreaming about freedom, about her home, about feeling the grains of sand tumbling from her feet while the sea washed them with a sweep of a wave, she craved to feel the smell of the sea one last time. She forgot all about Maldis until she saw his ridiculous shoes in her lap as his body stretched from the neighboring seat. He knew what she was thinking but his perverted mind decided to have a little fun. He spoke indifferently:
"Now, remember the sequence I told you when we were taking off?"
His voice drop a rock in her day dream, making it crash and sink in the Venek seat she tore when Maldis was tormenting her. Sighing in disappointment she answered:
"Yes, what of it?"
Maldis continued: "Do it in reverse"
She landed the Venek capsule on the yellow planet with surprising minor damage, and finally got up from the seat. The pain she felt in her fragile legs made it difficult for her to get off the strenuous stairs of the vessel; between the stairs and this planet's foul atmosphere she barely managed to maintain her balance once she stepped on the ground. She looked around, everything was yellow and gassy barely breathable. The sun was nowhere to be found; the dry, almost sour air brought drought in her throat while her eyes stung by the smell of sulfur.
Maldis took a deep breath, and turned to her:
"Now you see why the Veneks went to war – their planet is drying. Well there won't be many of them left to tell their story once I'm done with them"
Cyntrina stopped listening to his rant once she saw a black lock in her blond hair. She didn't notice it before but now as she turned back to the Venek vessel, it screamed out in her reflection. She stood there for what seemed to be ages looking at her reflection and looking for Maldis' one but it was no were to be found. Constantly watchful of her thoughts Maldis turned around and watched her face as it was glaring at the lock and the empty space where his reflection was supposed to be.
"Oh, drop it already, I do not have a reflection!" he yelled in annoyance "You can operate a ship but you still don't understand that I exist in a realm different than the one you and millions of others do?"
Cyntrina didn't move a muscle, glaring and making shallow breaths from the toxic air trying not to give away her surprise to his answer. He heard every single thought all the time, the insults she called him in her mind, the ways she naively plotted her escapes, everything…
"Now that you finally figured out that the hideous old foully dressed white piece of poop can read minds, I suggest you go underground where all the Veneks live, try to survive if you want, I don't care"
She didn't wait for him to say it twice; she ran down the stairs and stepped into the Venek world. The stairs seemed endless but from up there she could see what was left form the dying Venek world; underground cities stretching as far as her eyes could see, fiery balls of light hanging as streetlights, streets carved with perfect symmetry, humongous fire burning in the center supported by a potent system of ventilation, but still it wasn't enough. Nothing could replace the sunlight and the sweat air she enjoyed at her home. The thought of breathing smoke for the rest of her life brought chills down her spine, but she had nowhere to go and her body craved food and water as she saw some Veneks digging for underground sources of water.
She found peace for a few days, even though she was living like a Venek underground, the shelter, food and water they offered were good and nobody seemed too curious as to what she was doing there, they only wanted to survive. They even gave her some clothes since the lack of sunlight and constant need for the heat of burning fire made it clear her thin Sebacean clothes couldn't bring warmth to her frail body. She made some friends, small Venek boys from the shelter with whom she played almost every day. But the thought of Maldis never left her mind, she wandered what was he up to? How come he didn't strike already?
The new found peace in the shelter dissolved into dust once she woke up the next morning. She felt like she was still dreaming but somehow her dream possessed her consciousness, like her spirit was stripped from her body – something only Maldis knew how to do. Her spirit was trapped into his realm, and no matter what she did how much she yelled and screamed on the outside, she appeared as if she was sleeping. Once he came to terms with her situation, she looked around her astral prison; it looked similar to the monastery she was raised in, a big circle platform with four marble pillars rising up from it into what seemed to be a roof but she couldn't understand the whole right in the middle of it. She slowly walked to the circle, disturbing the dust with the rough Venek boots hearing nothing but her steps. The fire in the middle of the concrete circle gave little hope to her soul but the notion of the surrounding darkness around it gave her the creeps.
All of a sudden, a familiar laughter knocked her off her feet; an evil sinister face appeared out of nowhere in the middle of whole greeting her with his malicious grin:
"Hello Cyntrina, how do you like the planet of the ones that killed your mother?" his voice disturbed the flames
"What am I doing here? You said …"
"I said I wasn't going to kill you until I found another victim, and I didn't now, did I?"
"Then why do you continue with your games? Let me go, I served my purpose didn't I?"
"Oh, and rather well. Until now, but remember when I told you I always plan for the long run?"
"Old man, let me go I did no wrong to you, I want to live" her voice cries in the vast void of darkness while she begged him even though she knew it was useless
"You know that doesn't work, why do you even bother? Anyway, getting to the point your mommy killed the Veneks general and who do you think will be my bait for stirring up some grudges? Or did you think I would just leave you alone doing nothing all by yourself? No my dear, the last two days of peace you had served me as time to get to know this planets' appetites, or as I call it – mental leakage"
"Why old man, why do you enjoy such perverted games?"
"I like to think for myself as a dedicated gastronome – always cooking up three meals, besides there's no fun in simply killing someone is there?"
His humongous head was hysterically ranting down to the little girl while her body ached from the agony of being a prisoner to someone she couldn't even touch.
"Time for some company" he yelled and the Venek leader's spirit fell down knocked put in the circle. Once she saw him, Cyntrina backed away toward one of the pillars not seeing the dangling rope reaching for her. Her body jumped as she felt it touch her but it was too late, Maldis had already tied her to the pillar. The leader opened his eyes to find her shriveling in fear tied on a pillar. He had just gone to untie her and ask her what was going on when Maldis' voice stopped him
"Oh mighty last Venek leader, do you know just who's daughter you are saving?" the leader looked up to the pale face that to him seemed even humorous and through laughter answered:
"Old funny face in the ceiling and a Sebacean little girl tied on a pillar, if I didn't know my father was dead I would think this is his doing"
"Oh, but it is. This is your chance to get revenge for his death. This tiny frail Sebacean you see right here is the daughter of the nurse that killed General Grines, your beloved father"
The Venek's face distorted in anger just as fast as his heart got black and cold once Maldis spoke those words, his father's killer tied helplessly in front of his eyes just waiting for an arrow from his gun to pierce her heart. He reached for the gun hanging from his leather belt hypnotized by Maldis' rants and fired every single arrow he had into Cyntrina.
She stood convoluted in fear, tied on a pillar like an animal waiting for execution and every single arrow missed her body but her soul could feel the blows like a dagger in the heart.
"Look at you; daddy would be so disappointed in his son the sharp shooter of all the Veneks can't even hit one little girl! Here I'll make it easy for you, take her life"
Maldis kept pushing the Venek's buttons as Cyntrina's body slammed on the dusty concrete. The pile of rising dust as she fell and her growing fear made it difficult for her to breathe but instead of falling helplessly on the ground and craving for her death, for the first time in her short life she decided to fight back. Now Maldis wasn't the only one reaching for her life, now this Venek wanted to kill her too! Haven't they killed enough of her people already? Her fear got pushed aside by her rising panic and anger when she felt the Venek's hand pulling her hair, so seeing her image in the last metal arrow hanging from his worn out belt, shining from the flames with its' sharp tip hypnotically calling her to grab it, she grabbed it and stabbed him in his heart with all the force she possessed in her frail, thin body.
Maldis' face froze in shock, surprised by her and still in disbelief he spoke through his grin:
"Would you look at that, the little girl had it in her? Congratulations Cyntrina you at your 10 years of age have become a killer"
Cyntrina, realizing what she had done once she pushed the general of her back confused and with tears gathering in her eyes she moaned:
"I, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it … I … please don't die … I'm not a killer…"
Her body coiled on the concrete circle in front of the fire. Maldis then pulled the general's body up with his malicious mind and while he consumed his essence with a puffed up voice in satisfaction screeched:
"He is already dead, ahahahahaha you, little one have bitten me in my game, but I won't kill you just because of the idea you have given me – kill or be killed"
Cyntrina could barely hear him, her tiny heart was bleeding guilt and her tears seemed as if they were blood, the translucent blood of the general she killed that was on her hands. But maybe it wasn't her fault, maybe Maldis made her do it, she knew he had a way of bringing the worst in her … thoughts that served as a comfort to her soul, but deep down she knew she was responsible. She promised herself it would never happen again, that she would give her life before she took another one. A promise that was left empty, floating on the very surface of her soul.
Maldis made her do it over, and over and over again until she killed the very last one Venek standing. Her hate for Maldis and for anyone reaching for her life grew stronger through the years but yet her actual physical body barely changed, ten cycles made her age less than a single year… that's all the time it took for Maldis and her to wipe out the race that brought terror on her planet.
She watched as civilization after civilization fell down on their knees before her very eyes. She watched Maldis getting stronger as their final drop of hope drowned into desperation. She hated him every step of the way, remembering all the times he toyed with her mind and brought her worst fears to life. In time she began hoping he found other victims, prayed he did just so he would leave her alone.
Her relief was beyond match when one day she realized he was gone. He had found a planet, subdued its people and their most powerful priest – Liko was his name. He was the last friend she ever had. He was the one that made her realize that Maldis had unwillingly transcended some of his powers onto her. But he didn't know she was his acolyte killing his victims and putting up the table for his feasts. His comforting words reminded her she still had some morality left in her soul that was dying for more than 300 cycles. He put to words many things she never thought to put into words, like her slow rate of aging
"You have spent more than 300 cycles in his realm, that's why you still haven't aged in this realm, the changes of pigment in your hair and eyes are due to his constant perverted games with your mind"
She remembered his words when her prowler took off his planet, she had to leave, she was unworthy of having any friends she was a murderer tormented by a soul consuming vampire that as much as she hated to admit it saved her life.
Running away in her prowler, one morning she woke up it the confined space of her vessel and realized Maldis was gone. She could no longer hear his muffled whispers he used to call and find her wherever she was any more. She was free after so many cycles, no more killing no more tears, no more races getting wiped out. This brought her soul short lived joy while she headed back to Likos' planet, since she realized a part of Maldis resided within her – the ability to recognize emotion and read minds. Her heart sunk as she found out Liko was dead. Now there was no body to help her control the crave, the need to exploit those abilities. In time as her thirst for inflicting pain grew she noticed she slowly lost the need to eat regular food, her thirst for water was also vanishing and the only thing she kept thinking about was strangling someone with his own fears and consuming their essence.
Another thing came to her attention when she visited a Royal burial planet where she hoped she won't be able to hurt anyone and she would finally end her life – she could move objects with her mind! Low food, water and fuel finally drove her to give in the thirst so when her rage caused her body temperature to rise, laying between the royal tomb stones her body contracted uncontrollably under the deep dark, clouds surrounding the planet. She knew there was someone down in the tunnels under her but didn't dare to kill them, she couldn't lose the only link to her morality, every one she ever killed were merely ghosts invited to Maldis' realm. The smell of dead bodies seemed to make things worse so seeing a group of junkies coming out from beneath the gray surface, she lost control of everything, her soul, her body and her morality as she strangled the last one to come out of the hole with her mind. Cold jolts of their lives' ending turned her temperature down making her stronger with every life she took, spiraling down from the brutish, savage state of mind to a cold blooded energy consuming vampire.
She had become what she hated the most – an emotional vampire, Maldis. Every shred of morality and guilt was whipped from her soul in an instance. She was powerful, she could take lives with a swing of her hand, knew the thoughts of the ones who tried to escape from her grip, she was finally transformed.
As time went on she grasped the concept of Maldis' existence exclusively in one realm and was glad to learn that unlike him she was corporeal, she walked amongst her pray and didn't need of any trickery in order to get them to volunteer their souls like Maldis did. Her enjoyment in the new identity she created was short lived when one afternoon while meditating on Valdun, a planet full of self proclaimed mystics who thought her more about what she had become, she felt a hand on her neck that pulled her in another realm.
Maldis was back and he was furiously griping her throat against the pillar she was once tied to
"Well, well, well Cyntrina you've changed" he yelled contemptuously.
"What do you want, you old frelnik?"
She asked while trying to remove his hand from her neck.
"I want you to feed me off course"
She used her powers and smashes him into the neighboring pillar
"Not this time; you are not using me as your meal anymore"
Seeing how powerful she got once he got dispersed he realized he can no longer manipulate her that easily.
"Oh, you are like me now, good. Now let's see why you hate me so much"
She looked at him with disgust
"You made me what I am, an empty creature always hungry for someone else's emotions since I'm not able of feeling anything"
His laughter filled the empty realm that was his den
"Is that what you think? You think it's my fault you become like this? No my dear I didn't make you take a sip of this bottle"
Here he saw an opportunity to ensure his vengeance on the ones who dispersed him once: Zhaan and all everyone she loves. In a vague attempt to manipulate Cyntrina once again he arrogantly turned his back on her and yelled:
"It was D'Argo, Aeryn and the last name that came out of your mother's dying lips – John Crichton. They were the ones that left you for death. When I found you I merely extended your life expectancies."
She looked at his yellow eyes with resentment desperately trying to control her rage:
"Be that as it may, why do I see your thirst for vengeance consuming your thoughts?"
Maldis replied: "So we have the same enemies, big frelling deal"
Cyntrina: "I could kill you right now old man"
Maldis: "Is that how you thank me for the powers I gave you? For the eternal youth I bestowed you? Or did you not notice the hundreds of cycles that went by and you were somehow aging in miniscule intervals?"
Cyntrina: "Old man, I can hear your thoughts and you know what it is I hear? Lie after lie after lie. Everything you gave me was but a mere side effect of your endless torture"
Maldis: "Don't overestimate yourself foolish girl. There are still many things you don't know so go easy on the threats"
She then used her powers to exit his realm and screamed of the top of her lungs knowing he is listening:
"There are things you don't know either so back off! Want a free meal, here suck on this!"
She then strangled one of the mystics passing by her room without even exiting the premise.
"Next time it'll be you! I neither am nobody's food nor am I your acolyte"
She then heard Maldis' voice screaming from his realm as she created a void between them
"Cyntrinaaaaaaa, you can't do this to meeeee …" her screams filled the almost empty cheap motel room
"I already have!"
Her heart was racing while she pushed Maldis further and further away until finally she couldn't hear him any more. She was finally free of that parasite that ate her soul for so many cycles ... but somehow that wasn't enough. She wandered desperately could Maldis be right? Were John, Aeryn and D'Argo the ones to blame for her horrifying fate? Questions she never thought to ask before filled her mind until the rage consumed her, she was mad at herself for not killing Maldis besides the risk of being killed, she was mad at Maldis for asking questions she never did ... Tortured by agonizing need for answers she decided to go back to the planet she once called home. After consuming the life energy of a dozen mystics one of which was an old Delvian, she was on her way to find out what happened that fateful night that changed her life forever.
While she was traveling she couldn't stop thinking about the last time she saw her mother, she wandered "why do I not feel any pain?" the only thing in her once innocent but now dark heart was hate that at times, when ignited turned into rage. She also thought about the old Delvian's last words as she broke his neck: "Any last words oh great wise one?" she smiled with contempt while he answered: "careful young one, what's left of your soul may not survive the pain of your upbringing". Why did he say that? Could there be a part of that little girl deep inside this monster she has become? She didn't think so.
After 10 solar days of non stop traveling, she finally landed the peace memorial planet. Her boots made a deep thumping sound on the ground as she walked around looking at what was left of the monastery. Memories of joy came floating in her mind as she observed her old playground, when she finally felt the breeze on her face once again carrying the smell of the sea in her long, dark hair. She arrived at the memorial obelisk where the holograms of all the nurses stared at her. She looked at their faces after so many cycles of running away from her past; she could still remember all their names. Her look got stuck at her mother, nurse Kelsa and the little girl that once was her. They looked so peaceful, so unaware of what happened.
As soon as she reached to the hologram of her mother it turned off leaving her staring at her own reflection in the obelisk. She watched what she had become for a long time, starting from the dark leather boots that covered her legs just above her knees which she stole from a rich Sebacean merchant she later killed, continuing with the tight peacekeeper pants coming out of of the boots to the blood red corset clamping her chest. Her eyes were stuck on her own face in the reflection; she looked morbidly beautiful with her red lips sticking out so blatantly on her pale face and her angry, once hazel but now dark eyes. She looked nothing like the little girl on the hologram even her hair that was once blond was now almost black red.
After few arns staring at her reflection in the corner of the memorial obelisk she saw a mask lying abandoned on a stone pedestal. She read the inscription in the stone - it was a reconstruction of the last moments of life the nurses had. Hesitant but determined she put the mask on her face. As the footage started playing her mind was bombarded with memories of pain, terror and blood curdling screams. She threw the mask off her face but it was of no use, her past was playing in front of her eyes; she saw it all, the very moment Crichton, Aeryn, D'Argo, Jool and Stark came back in time and started fighting the Horde; all the peacekeeper soldiers dying, John's attempt to free the Venek General, but her rage was amplified when she saw herself saving John's life when her mother tried to kill him.
"Crichtoooooooooon "
She screamed furiously until she passed out on the ground.
When she woke up she realized all the rage and fury she felt almost killed her but they also gave her all the answers she was searching for - now she knew, it was them. Stark took them back in time, John, Aeryn and D'Argo left them for death after outraging the Venek horde. They didn't even leave their guns ... One more memory struck her mind as she went in the back of the memorial - she had written her name in the stone with the knife D'Argo gave her. Removing the leafs of the plant that grew on the rock she saw it. Her name was still there ... Unaware of how powerful her hate for the strange visitors was, she touched the rock. She fell down to her knees while and unleashed a roar that chased away the unsuspecting birds surrounding the memorial. Her mind was blown away from the psychic residue fixated to that rock, it caused a vision so powerful it almost melted from her touch.
What she saw ignited her desire for vengeance even more - she saw how the Veneks disposed from all Sebacean bodies, they threw them on a pile and put them on fire using the fire from the monastery alter as an ignition source. What made her scream even harder was seeing her mother's body lying on top of the pile of bodies with a picture of her in the pocket of her cloth.
When it was all over, she stood up back on her feet and walked back to the hologram of her and her mother:
"I will find them, and I will destroy everything they love, I swear to you mother I won't stop until they pay for what they did, I will spill their blood"
Her words echoed in the silence as she walked back to her ship. She had a mission - have the heads of the ones that killed everything she knew and loved.