Authors Note: Well its happened, somebody's finally done it. It was bound to happen what with all those parody fanficton and I Hate Twilight videos out there. Can you guess what I'm talking about? That's right! It's a story in which a powerful Bella gets over Edward and starts her life over…literally. The Bella in this story is what I like to call the non-Mary sue Bella. Sure she's ultra powerful but that's not the defining aspect of a Mary-sue. The Bella in twilight is shallow clueless and gets everything she wants handed to her on a silver platter. The Bella in my story realizes her faults and attempts to start her life over facing challenges along the way. Mind you the Bella in my story is also insane so…yeah.
Disclaimer: I do not own "twilight" nor do I want to. I also do not own the "Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya" "Naruto" or any of the other anime/manga referenced in the following story.
Warning
The following piece of literature may cause loss of sanity, common sense, free will, ethical values and or any form of logical or rational behavior. The following also contains strong sexual references swearing and large quantities of violence.
It may also contain ridiculous amounts of cliché and stereotyping that if exposed to for extensive periods of time will A. melt the brain or B. cause seizures.
That said, Should the reader continue in their decision to read the following piece of literature be aware that the Author takes no responsibility for any abnormal symptoms received after reading said piece of literature. In addition should you display symptoms not listed in the above please inform the Author so they may be tested, verified and added to those already listed.
No claims may be made against the Author in relation to health or mentality as the reader has been warned prior to the processing of the text. Though impossible to avoid display of at least one of the symptoms listed above, the following safety measures should be taken in order to minimize their severity.
Do not consume food or drink before reading the text; you must wait for at least an hour. Do not eat or drink while reading, this should be obvious considering the above sentence. Do not eat or drink directly after reading.
Readers are reminded to turn off their cell phones before reading. Do not feed the text. The reader should not attempt to stare or look directly at the text; in addition, should the reader be caught staring after ignoring the above they should look away in a discrete and stealthy fashion so as not to appear rude.
Should the reader ignore the above, most health organizations advise to pray to your chosen deity or deities. However, the Author recommends placing your head between your legs, rocking gently back and forth while muttering obscenities, followed shortly by ritual suicide. Astonishingly, despite its lack of productiveness, most people chose the former.
In conclusion the following text is not suitable or advised to any age group, Gender, Organization, racial background or social group and in fact should not be read at all. So if you want to just stop reading this, now would be a good time.
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You still there? Yes? Alright then.
This Shall Be My Name
Prologue:
Romeo and Juliet was a great love story, but also a great tragedy. Shakespeare intended it as a portrayal of the foolishness of youth.
I think I understand it now, what it was I felt for Edward, it wasn't love it was lust. Constantly going on about how beautiful someone is or how someone smells just isn't a basis for a good relationship.
I mean come on the guy watched me while I slept if that isn't stalker behavior then what is? Edward made me feel like I was nothing which in a way I was but for a different reason than what I originally thought.
He kept me away from my friends, mind you, they weren't really friends more like someone you hang out with and slap a friend sticker on.
But that may have had something to do with the fact that I never tried to get to know any of them. Why you ask? Well I was far too busy lusting after Edward. I really don't know why I did that maybe I just needed to feel wanted.
But that doesn't make any sense! I mean I made friends on the first day I got here and had four boys including Edward lusting after me in a matter of weeks! Why the hell would I feel unwanted?
In addition, why was I wanted anyway? I mean I'm not pretty or anything has my low self esteem made me delusional for the past ten years or so?
Have I been blind to my own supposed godly beauty that makes normal high school boys bow down before me in awe? It wouldn't surprise me actually, considering how much else I seem to have missed.
Also why am I so cruel to my parents? Charlie has done nothing but try to make me happy since I moved to forks and yet I refuse to even acknowledge him as my father! He bought me my own car because I whined about not wanting to ride around in a police car!
In any case back to why I did what I did it is possible that I may just have been a bitch a very shallow clueless bitch.
My Dad loves me, my mom loves me, and even my step-dad loves me. Why am I complaining all the time? I could have had a great life here if I'd tried; I wish I could turn back the clock back to when I was moving to forks and just redo this whole thing.
Little did I know I was about to do exactly that.