I remembered my 4th birthday. I was physically around 14, and I had asked for no parties, just dinner with Jake and a day with my family.
I also remember for weeks before that, being emotional and moody. Dad and grandpa said that I was going through puberty, and we had to talk about what that meant. I also remember dodging that conversation for days. Finally, I was trapped, in my room, with mom and dad in the doorway. I knew I wouldn't be getting out of this one. I sighed and slumped onto my bed.
"If I really have to do this, can it just be mom." Please daddy. I thought. Don't make me hear this from you. He sighed, but nodded, kissing my forehead, and leaving the room. Momma had smiled sympathetically, sitting down on the bed next to me and leaning against the headboard.
"Renesmee hunny. I'll try to make this as painless as possible." She stuck to textbook talk, making things so much easier that way. She explained puberty, and how my body would mature more into a woman's. She said she wasn't sure for certain if I would get a monthly cycle, cause no one really knew before me. So I would have to wait and see. She told me what it meant, if I did get a period. How it worked, and that when that time came, it could be possible to conceive a baby. She cringed at that, saying how again, they didn't know for sure if it was possible, And that I had a very long time to find out.
She tried her best to explain the feelings that accompanied this next stage, and explained how it was important to learn how to control my temper and be grown up. Over all, it was pretty painless.
When I asked her how it was possible to have a baby, she said that conversation could wait a little longer. I didn't push it. I felt overwhelmed, so I nodded and that what was that.
I didn't think much more of it, till I woke up a couple weeks later. On my birthday, no less. And found my pajamas and sheets stained with blood. I knew what it meant, but I still wanted my mom.
"Mama, can you come here please." I called out, knowing she would hear me.A soft knock came from my door.
"Come in." I said quietly. She walked over to me, her eyes already knowing. Daddy must have heard me and told her. She put her hand out, taking mine.
"Come on hunny, lets get you cleaned up."
She walked with me to my bathroom, starting the big tub and filling it with bubbles. She turned around, and I stripped, getting in the water and relaxing into the heat. She turned the taps off, kissed my forehead and got up.
"I'm going to put these in the wash with your blankets. Will u be okay for a couple minutes?"
I nodded, and felt so grateful for my mom. I washed up in the warm water, and she came back a couple minutes later. A large towel in her hands, some clothes and a couple boxes. She put everything down on the sink, and explained both boxes. Tampons, and pads. She recommended I used the pads till I was more comfortable. I agreed, she handed me the towel, and stepped out to let me change.
I loved that she didn't baby me, and gave me what little privacy I was allowed. I followed her directions and changed into the clothes she gave me. Some comfortable yoga pants and a sweater. I left the bathroom, bouncing over to where she sat on the bed, and wrapping my arms around her.
"Thank you mama." There was a soft knock on the door and daddy's head stuck around the corner.
"How are my girls." He asked, and I smiled.
" Where good daddy." He walked over to us, sitting down and wrapping both of us in his arms. I was content, in my parents embrace. The rest of my day went on pretty normal, with birthday wishes and games and hugs. Jacob came over before dinner, wishing me a happy birthday and giving me a hug.
He disappeared with daddy for a couple minutes and when he came back he looked almost sad. I placed my hand on his warm face. What's wrong Jacob? He just shook his head.
"Nothing Nessie, how about some dinner? I'm starved." he flashed me his best smile and I forgot about his sad face.
It wasn't until later that night, I was curled into my bed, thinking about my day, and my happy life that I understood Jacob's face. Jacob had imprinted on me the day I was born. He told me, a long time ago, that it meant we were connected. He would always belong to me, however I needed him. When I was younger, he was the best big brother. As I grew, and he became my best friend, he would tell me more about the imprint. How Emily and Sam were, but also Quil and Clair. He said it was different for everybody, and he never wanted me to think I had to be with him when I was older. It just meant that he would always be in my life. But I understood, that one day I would see him differently. The imprint meant he would be what I needed, so if I felt that way, he would to, wouldn't he?
I could only imagine how hard that could be. To watch me grow up so fast. Mama and dad were always telling me to enjoy my life the way it is. Every stage for me was so fleeting. So I learned to love it while it happened, and not rush the next one. That was what I would do. I would enjoy being young a little while longer.