Algebra and Citrus Fruits
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. AND NEITHER DO ANY OF YOU! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
A/N: They're all just friends. JUST FRIENDS. This story has no pairings what-so-ever.
'"Heero, I love you so much"
"I know. I love you too."
Under the serene glaze of moonlight'
He threw his laptop across the room, angrily.
"DUO!"
"Whaaat?" whined the American, climbing up the stairs of one of the many safehouses the pilots seemed to live in, and into the room. "I didn't do anything…yet!"
"How many e-mail addresses do you have?"
"Why?"
"Just answer the question!"
Duo cocked his head to one side. "Umm…a lot. I have one of my own, then a bunch I used to pull pranks: shinigami@L2colony.com, perfectsoldier@L1colony.com, desertnoble@L4colony.com, silentclown@L3colony.com, solitarydragon@L5colony.com, peaceprincess1@cinq.com-"
"You mean YOU'RE the person sending me stupid e-mails and signing them 'Relena'?"
Duo blinked. "Oops. You weren't supposed to know that. Why'd you ask?"
Heero walked over to where his computer lay and picked it back up. He pointed to the screen. "This site will only let you register one username per e-mail address. Did YOU write all these stories?"
Duo grabbed the laptop and stared at it. "Hey, ff.net! I LOVE this site! Have you ever watched Neon Genesis Evangelion?! The fanfictions are GRE-"
"No, idiot, not there." Heero pointed to a visited link further up the page than 'Evangelion'. "THAT section."
Duo clicked on the link and skimmed through a few story descriptions. "Why do these people like algebra and citrus fruits so much?"
"Duo, it's not algebra, and those AREN'T citrus fruits."
"Whadd'ya mean? See this one? 1xR, lemon. They like algebra and citrus fruits!"
"Duo?"
"Yeah?"
"It's NOT algebra, and they AREN'T citrus fruits. Think for a second. We know a person whose name begins with 'R'. Who would that be?"
"Relena."
"Yes. And who's pilot 01?"
Duo paused for a moment, then started laughing. "So they wrote a story where you and Relena are a pair of citrus fruits in love with each other?!"
"NO."
Duo clicked on the link for the story. "It says you have to be at least seventeen to read it. Should I click 'OK' or 'cancel'?"
"You idiot. They don't ever check how old you are."
"Okay!" Duo clicked on the link and started to read the story. Halfway through he turned to his Japanese friend and went 'awwwww, how sweet!' Then he got towards the end. You know, where the 'lemon' parts usually come in. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF SHINIGAMI?!"
"See?"
"That is NOT RIGHT. NOT RIGHT!"
"This is just as bad." Heero clicked 'back' and scrolled down to another story.
"I see more math."
"Duo?"
"Yeah?"
"It's not math."
"Yuh-huh! 1x2=2! Any idiot knows that!"
"Duo?"
"Yessss?"
"Who's pilot 01?"
Duo laughed. "You mean you forgot who you were? It's you!"
"Who's pilot 02?"
Duo stopped laughing. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF SHINIGAMI?!"
"See?"
"That is NOT RIGHT. NOT RIGHT!"
"That's just the beginning of all this crap."
Duo shuddered. "Hey look, this one doesn't have an algebra problem on it. And it's humorous!"
Heero groaned. "Those are the worst ones. Don't read them."
"Why?"
"You pull enough pranks as it is without getting ideas from outside sources."
Duo blinked. "Hey, Heero?"
"What?"
"Should I even ask what 1x13 is?"
Heero grabbed the computer and read through the description, startled. "Different 1. That's Lady Une. Not me."
"Okay, but who's 13?"
"Duo, you really are an idiot."
"No, I just have special needs." Duo thought for a second. "Treize! Wait, if he died, how can he be paired with anyone?"
Heero turned off the computer and shut it. "This is stupid."
"But you should show that to everybody else! What if someone suddenly walks up to them in the middle of the street and says something stupid?"
"You do that on your own."
"Ha ha. Very funny. I'm serious!"
"Call the newspaper."
"Why? So we can tell all these psychotic authors to stop writing these stories?"
"No, so we can tell them that you're being serious."
"I repeat, 'ha ha. Very funny.' What are you going to do about it?"
"Nothing."
"Why's that?"
"Because we live in a parallel universe to those most of the fanfiction authors live in. There's no danger of-"
"Hiya!" A red-headed girl popped out of nowhere, wearing shorts and a T-shirt that proclaimed 'My only fear is going sane.'
Duo blinked. "Who are you?"
"My name's Hatake!" replied the girl. "I'm a fanfiction author!"
The two pilots stared at her in disbelief.
"Awww…" cooed Hatake at the two sitting on the floor, "so cute!"
"You're…you're one of those people who like to write about math problems, aren't you?!" asked Duo, pointing a finger wildly.
"Not math problems!" yelled both Heero and Hatake.
Hatake held out Heero's laptop, which she had taken from him in the moment of surprise that had followed her arrival. "I just got the COOLEST plot bunny!" she started typing. "Let's see…NC-17…lemon…1x2…"
"Give me back my laptop!" Heero lunged for the computer, and snatched it away from the red-headed girl.
"He-ey!" whined Hatake. "I was typing!"
"That was close."
"Okay then. I'll have to write something worse to get back at you all!" Hatake pointed her own finger at the two pilots. "Fanfiction.net doesn't even have a rating for it! The only thing worse than the NC-17 rating…the X rating! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" She vanished in a whirlwind of golden fish.
"This isn't good," said Duo as he brushed a golden fish off his lap.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere in the vicinity of a computer, drastic changes were being made upon their universe. Temporary, yes, but drastic nonetheless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Duo…" the Prussian blue eyed teen crossed the room and locked the door.
A/N: GWAHAHAHAHAAA! Moral of the story? Don't mess with a fanfiction author if you happen to be limburger cheese. I mean a character. *bashes self in head* Limburger cheese and characters are NOT the same thing, Hatake!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. AND NEITHER DO ANY OF YOU! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
A/N: They're all just friends. JUST FRIENDS. This story has no pairings what-so-ever.
'"Heero, I love you so much"
"I know. I love you too."
Under the serene glaze of moonlight'
He threw his laptop across the room, angrily.
"DUO!"
"Whaaat?" whined the American, climbing up the stairs of one of the many safehouses the pilots seemed to live in, and into the room. "I didn't do anything…yet!"
"How many e-mail addresses do you have?"
"Why?"
"Just answer the question!"
Duo cocked his head to one side. "Umm…a lot. I have one of my own, then a bunch I used to pull pranks: shinigami@L2colony.com, perfectsoldier@L1colony.com, desertnoble@L4colony.com, silentclown@L3colony.com, solitarydragon@L5colony.com, peaceprincess1@cinq.com-"
"You mean YOU'RE the person sending me stupid e-mails and signing them 'Relena'?"
Duo blinked. "Oops. You weren't supposed to know that. Why'd you ask?"
Heero walked over to where his computer lay and picked it back up. He pointed to the screen. "This site will only let you register one username per e-mail address. Did YOU write all these stories?"
Duo grabbed the laptop and stared at it. "Hey, ff.net! I LOVE this site! Have you ever watched Neon Genesis Evangelion?! The fanfictions are GRE-"
"No, idiot, not there." Heero pointed to a visited link further up the page than 'Evangelion'. "THAT section."
Duo clicked on the link and skimmed through a few story descriptions. "Why do these people like algebra and citrus fruits so much?"
"Duo, it's not algebra, and those AREN'T citrus fruits."
"Whadd'ya mean? See this one? 1xR, lemon. They like algebra and citrus fruits!"
"Duo?"
"Yeah?"
"It's NOT algebra, and they AREN'T citrus fruits. Think for a second. We know a person whose name begins with 'R'. Who would that be?"
"Relena."
"Yes. And who's pilot 01?"
Duo paused for a moment, then started laughing. "So they wrote a story where you and Relena are a pair of citrus fruits in love with each other?!"
"NO."
Duo clicked on the link for the story. "It says you have to be at least seventeen to read it. Should I click 'OK' or 'cancel'?"
"You idiot. They don't ever check how old you are."
"Okay!" Duo clicked on the link and started to read the story. Halfway through he turned to his Japanese friend and went 'awwwww, how sweet!' Then he got towards the end. You know, where the 'lemon' parts usually come in. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF SHINIGAMI?!"
"See?"
"That is NOT RIGHT. NOT RIGHT!"
"This is just as bad." Heero clicked 'back' and scrolled down to another story.
"I see more math."
"Duo?"
"Yeah?"
"It's not math."
"Yuh-huh! 1x2=2! Any idiot knows that!"
"Duo?"
"Yessss?"
"Who's pilot 01?"
Duo laughed. "You mean you forgot who you were? It's you!"
"Who's pilot 02?"
Duo stopped laughing. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF SHINIGAMI?!"
"See?"
"That is NOT RIGHT. NOT RIGHT!"
"That's just the beginning of all this crap."
Duo shuddered. "Hey look, this one doesn't have an algebra problem on it. And it's humorous!"
Heero groaned. "Those are the worst ones. Don't read them."
"Why?"
"You pull enough pranks as it is without getting ideas from outside sources."
Duo blinked. "Hey, Heero?"
"What?"
"Should I even ask what 1x13 is?"
Heero grabbed the computer and read through the description, startled. "Different 1. That's Lady Une. Not me."
"Okay, but who's 13?"
"Duo, you really are an idiot."
"No, I just have special needs." Duo thought for a second. "Treize! Wait, if he died, how can he be paired with anyone?"
Heero turned off the computer and shut it. "This is stupid."
"But you should show that to everybody else! What if someone suddenly walks up to them in the middle of the street and says something stupid?"
"You do that on your own."
"Ha ha. Very funny. I'm serious!"
"Call the newspaper."
"Why? So we can tell all these psychotic authors to stop writing these stories?"
"No, so we can tell them that you're being serious."
"I repeat, 'ha ha. Very funny.' What are you going to do about it?"
"Nothing."
"Why's that?"
"Because we live in a parallel universe to those most of the fanfiction authors live in. There's no danger of-"
"Hiya!" A red-headed girl popped out of nowhere, wearing shorts and a T-shirt that proclaimed 'My only fear is going sane.'
Duo blinked. "Who are you?"
"My name's Hatake!" replied the girl. "I'm a fanfiction author!"
The two pilots stared at her in disbelief.
"Awww…" cooed Hatake at the two sitting on the floor, "so cute!"
"You're…you're one of those people who like to write about math problems, aren't you?!" asked Duo, pointing a finger wildly.
"Not math problems!" yelled both Heero and Hatake.
Hatake held out Heero's laptop, which she had taken from him in the moment of surprise that had followed her arrival. "I just got the COOLEST plot bunny!" she started typing. "Let's see…NC-17…lemon…1x2…"
"Give me back my laptop!" Heero lunged for the computer, and snatched it away from the red-headed girl.
"He-ey!" whined Hatake. "I was typing!"
"That was close."
"Okay then. I'll have to write something worse to get back at you all!" Hatake pointed her own finger at the two pilots. "Fanfiction.net doesn't even have a rating for it! The only thing worse than the NC-17 rating…the X rating! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" She vanished in a whirlwind of golden fish.
"This isn't good," said Duo as he brushed a golden fish off his lap.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere in the vicinity of a computer, drastic changes were being made upon their universe. Temporary, yes, but drastic nonetheless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Duo…" the Prussian blue eyed teen crossed the room and locked the door.
A/N: GWAHAHAHAHAAA! Moral of the story? Don't mess with a fanfiction author if you happen to be limburger cheese. I mean a character. *bashes self in head* Limburger cheese and characters are NOT the same thing, Hatake!