A/N: For week 2, day 5 and for the prompt "smoking".
We all say that we'll
Quit someday
When our nerves ain't shot
And our hands don't shake, yeah
We all say that we'll
Quit someday
When our nerves ain't shot
And our hands don't shake
.
We're just blowin' smoke
Blowin' Smoke, by Kacey Musgraves
Blowin' Smoke
Sometimes, Gray smoked.
It wasn't anything regular or anything. No. It would be just every now and then. When he felt stressed or frustrated. After all, sometimes missions could go a bit crazy and he would itch for a little something.
It wasn't conscious.
It also took him back. A comforting action from comforting times.
Ur had had her bouts of smoking. Maybe it had been from there that Gray had picked it up.
She also looked quite cool.
So that was probably the reason why he had started.
And then he continued, when needed.
It wasn't a good habit but Gray had it.
Everything had been going well in the mission so far.
Well, that was a lie, actually. Natsu had been, in Gray's opinion, insufferable.
On the train he'd been his usual motion-sick self, whining and complaining while Erza, Lucy and him sat by and tried not to feel ashamed. Lucy tried to have Natsu drink something, placing some cool towels on his forehead. Erza had her long-suffering face on, letting out sighs and then staring out the window. Gray, had been stifling yawns for most of the trip so he just attempted to relax. Who knew what would happen during the mission?
As soon as they got to the village where they were supposed to do whatever the mission was – Gray was still feeling slightly sleepy and sluggish, maybe it had to do with the heatwave that had fallen – Natsu, the immense ball of energy, was back.
He was bouncing around, excited and chatting animatedly with the girls. He was giving Gray the cold shoulder after the words they exchanged – well, yelled into each other's faces – earlier.
First, they went to the Inn to get some rooms, as they were going to spend the night at the village. Natsu had commented that it was a good thing that he didn't have to ride the damned train twice in the same day. The girls smiled genially at him and Gray rolled his eyes.
With the two rooms booked – Gray was going to have to share with the fire mage – the team left to go explore the village.
The mission was odd. They were supposed to find the object, but apparently they had to solve the puzzle beforehand.
Hopefully they would be able to solve it.
The day had been long and they felt like they were coming up empty-handed. They thought they'd solved some clues but every time they thought they had given a step forward, they faced a dead end. The torrid heat hadn't helped either, making Gray sweat and feel like his body was made of melted lead.
Natsu's continued energy hadn't helped at all. Just grated on Gray's nerves, making him frustrated. So, when they decided to go back to the Inn he couldn't help a breath of relief.
He needed some space from the Salamander and that would probably be a given, as he would most likely go eat. Natsu was Natsu, after all.
So yeah, Gray needed some space because he didn't have the energy or mood to act in a way he might regret later. It was no use.
The ice mage nodded to Erza before quickly heading to his bedroom. And first, he needed to shower.
Entering the tiled room, Gray's noise of contentment bounced around him. And as he walked to the large bathtub his clothes fell off him, the same way leaves are blown from the trees in Autumn. He opened the faucet, cold water splashing against the white porcelain. And it felt good.
Before long he was inside, the water pitter-patting against his overheated skin, cooling him down at the same time that the dirt and grime of the day were washed away.
After, he was feeling better. In a better mood, which was helped even further by the falling night. The blazing sun was going out and with it, the torrid heat too.
After putting on some trousers, Gray rummaged through his bag, in search of what had been beckoning for him for most of the day.
With practiced ease he lit the cigarette and opened the bedroom window. The windowsill was large enough that he could sit on it. Which he then did.
Gray looked out the window, saw the way darkness fell; first as a veil and then as a blanket. It was an interesting image. The smoke puffed from his lips, a thin mist that quickly disappeared.
He felt calmer.
And that made him start to think too. It wasn't uncommon for him to do so, it was as if the darkness was the perfect keeper of secrets and thoughts…
Natsu was grumbling.
The girls had demanded that he come to get Gray downstairs, for dinner. And why was he the one who had to go call squinty eyes? Gray had been acting more stuck up than usual to boot!
Though, very well, Natsu could concede that this region wasn't very nice to him, what with being so hot. And Natsu was thriving in the heat.
It felt wonderful.
Taking a deep breath – as he didn't want to hear from Erza and Lucy – Natsu made his way to his bedroom, silently. He opened the door but Gray didn't say anything – a big surprise that the ice mage wasn't biting his head off – and Natsu momentarily wondered if he was asleep. Gray had been acting quite tired and lethargic during the whole day.
But no.
Natsu finally noticed Gray.
The ice mage was sitting, one leg bent horizontally on the windowsill and the other folded before him. He was smoking. Natsu hadn't noticed it in Gray lately and he wondered about the reason why he might be smoking at this one moment…
As if he were in a trance, Natsu stood by the now closed door, watching the movement of the iridescent tip, the low light it emitted, the profile of Gray's face and his pensive expression.
It was slightly shocking.
Natsu hadn't seen Gray in this light.
A choked out noise came from Natsu's throat broke the spell. Gray turned his head to the fire mage, exhaled the last of the smoke and put out the cigarette. Standing up, he motioned to close the window but thought better of it.
"What do you want?" He asked, in a quiet voice.
"It's dinnertime. The girls want you to come." Natsu replied equally quiet.
"I suppose you don't…" Gray murmured, yet his words were picked by Natsu's earing. "Well then," Gray closed the window with some force. "Let's have dinner."
Natsu nodded, speechless. Stepping aside when Gray walked by him and opened the door.
"So?" Gray said impatiently. "Are you coming or not?"
"I'm coming!" Natsu shook himself and walked behind Gray. Closing the door behind.
It was time to eat some more.
Erza and Lucy had solved the problem in the time it took for them to go to dinner. But they'd cheated, the Inn owner had helped. So, the next morning they didn't have to stay around in the once again too hot village.
Yet, it was slightly more bearable.
Or maybe it was Natsu. He wasn't acting like an overexcited dog. He was still being his silly self where not even the teasing about his motion sickness was enough to dampen the mood but, to Gray, it didn't feel too much.
So, they quickly bought the train tickets to return to Magnolia.
They would be home in no time.
Night had fallen over Magnolia and dinner at the guild was being its usual noisy event. Music and laugher, food and drink, merriment all around.
Gray found himself outside, where the noise took a lot longer to reach – and even that was quite muffled. He leaned against the side of the wall, feeling the rough stones against his back.
Apparently he'd forgotten his shirt inside.
It wasn't much of a wonder…
And then, someone was there.
Natsu.
The fire mage – or, nuisance as he sometimes didn't mind calling him in the privacy of his mind – seemed to look strangely at Gray. Then he seemed to have made a decision and walked to stand beside Gray, mirroring his position.
Silence hung between then, only slightly broken by Gray's motions and breathing.
And then, it came.
"Why are you smoking?"
Gray glanced to the side, Natsu had plunged his hands into his pockets and seemed to be looking too interested in his sandaled feet.
Gray thought about it. But, it was of no consequence to Natsu.
"You don't have anything to do with it. Now, shoo, I want to be alone." He made a quick hand motion with his free hand. "I don't need company right now."
Natsu opened his mouth to say something but then paused. He glanced at the cigarette in Gray's hand and seemed to swallow. He nodded.
"Fine," he said as he left.
Gray stood there, momentarily puzzled. Then, he shook his head and looked back up to the dark sky, the tiny sparkly dots engulfed due to the street lights.
Music still reached him, from a distance and muffled.
Gray sat at one of the long tables at the guild.
He'd eaten his lunch and, before he knew it, he was holding a cigarette. Gray smoked, distracted by his deep thoughts, flicking the cigarette distractedly on the ashtray before him every now and then.
He'd just taken a couple of drags when someone – Natsu – plopped on the seat beside him.
There was silence between the two, as had been a while ago, but now Gray found that something had seemingly changed in Natsu. Or maybe it had been in him.
Natsu wasn't as annoying as before.
It wasn't as if Gray didn't know that, they had been friends and rivals for far too long, but it was something that didn't happen too often.
Natsu was his spirited self and in most days that irked Gray. And the worst was his sunny disposition early in the morning. Gray always felt tempted to freeze his dumb face in.
Gray flicked some more ash onto the ashtray.
The silence between them stretched even more.
And it wasn't uncomfortable.
Gray was actually enjoying the company. Their non-verbal communication did enough.
And it was nice.
Of course that Natsu had to turn to Gray and try to steal his cigarette. Gray evaded, but was tackled by Natsu's thoughtless movement. They fell to the side of the bench and then to the floor. The cigarette falling under the table.
Gray turned to Natsu, who looked sheepishly at him, and glared before throwing himself at him in a perfect tackle.
And thus the first afternoon brawl at the guild began.
Their phase of being pissed at each other had ended. After a lot of nudging from Lucy and a direct conversation with Erza. She had caught each of them unaware and told each how childish they were and how they better sort it out before she had to get in the way.
And so Gray talked to Natsu. They made up and so their rivalry was back in place. With the bonus of Gray having made the fire mage promise not to steal any more of his cigarettes.
It was at that point that they decided to retire the title of rivalry, of it being what was between them when it actually was friendship.
A close friendship.
They were almost to the point of seeming to live in each other's pockets; always hanging together, going on missions and, of course, fighting.
They practiced together now – and had fun alongside their guildmates at the usual guild brawls.
So, it became usual for Gray to feel himself being observed as he smoked.
By now, it wasn't so much the frustration – though the stress was still there, of course – that made him do it. He had gotten used to it.
The same way he at first had found the weight on his chest odd, now the smoking in calm moments was as natural as… being.
One day as Gray was sitting at one of the secluded tables – he wasn't in that good a mood – Natsu sat right beside him, and observed.
Gray refrained from commenting. It was strange but Natsu was a strange fellow.
The ice mage took a drag and was momentarily startled when Natsu held onto his right hand, the one holding the cigarette, held it out of the way and caught Gray's lips in a kiss, stealing the smoke.
Gray watched, still in shock, as Natsu let out the smoke.
"I would've rather tasted you…" Natsu said, unbidden. Then he caught what he'd just said.
They both became tomato red with their blushes. Nearly brighter than the tip of the cigarette that was still lit between their clasped hands.
Gray was growing frustrated.
And it wasn't the frustration that begged for a cigarette.
Actually, it still had to do with a cigarette but more with the fact that he didn't seem to be able to enjoy it in peace.
Why?
Natsu, of course.
The fire mage had been getting more and more in Gray's way – in regards to smoking.
They were still quite close but whenever Gray got the cigarette out, Natsu would light it and then, apparently, play with him?
It was weird.
On the one hand, they were close and Natsu could be quite random and weird – it was a known fact – and so Gray didn't feel tempted to punch his face in frustration. Well, not too much.
But this thing with Natsu… it got shocking pretty fast.
"Hey Gray," Lucy said as she clapped him on the shoulder. She'd seen him enter the guild and was, no doubt, going to catch Gray up on the gossip. "How're things? Why isn't Natsu with you?"
Gray's fork paused in the middle of the path to his mouth. He looked suspiciously at Lucy. She seemed to be too cheerful, beaming with excitement even.
"Out with it. What's up?" Gray asked in a voice that showcased his feelings. "You know perfectly well that Natsu is away on a mission. He and Happy."
"Oh, I thought he'd returned already…" she replied, her voice seeming to convey sadness at the same time that her eyes nearly sparkled.
"No, he hasn't." Gray shrugged.
"And how are you reacting? Missing your boyfriend?" she asked coyly, placing her chin delicately in her folded hands.
"My what?" Gray wheezed out.
"Boyfriend. I mean, you two are in a relationship, right?" she tilted her head to the side.
"We? Relationship?" Gray repeated stupidly, seeming dazed.
"Mhhmm…" Lucy replied patiently.
"That's ridiculous. Why would Natsu-?" Gray asked hesitatingly. "How?"
"I don't know. But you guys hang out all the time, share meals, share kisses." She stressed the last word. "Doesn't that sound like something-"
"Hey, the kiss thing, Natsu has a fixation. It's not my fault. It's the smoke." Gray said before remembering one embarrassing moment – and a too vivacious blush. "Or maybe… not?"
"You boys are so silly. And cute." Lucy said with a laugh.
And that was how Gray had realized that his relationship with Natsu had taken an unexpected turn. Not that it was bad, heck, they were so comfortable around each other, it just felt natural.
It was a huge realization.
And for some time after, Gray started noticing the little things.
That was the reverse side of things, despite being annoying, they worked well together.
Natsu had that odd gift to make Gray's mind go someplace else. He'd gotten that with the cigarettes for a while but now Natsu was the one who had the effect. He apparently didn't have to find solace in the cigarettes anymore.
Finally, Gray decided that it was time for them to have a talk.
They walked to one of Magnolia's gardens, and found a secluded corner. The sun was setting and so everything was starting to be tinted by an orange glow.
"Natsu," Gray started, he could feel himself itching to reach for a cigarette, "I think we should have a talk."
"Looks like we're doing that already, ice brain," Natsu quipped though his anxiety was discernible in his words.
"Well, yeah." Gray shrugged. "Anyway, it came to my attention that there was a change."
"A change in what?" Natsu asked as he subtly held onto Gray's hand.
"Us."
"Ahah, you're kidding, right?" The sudden squeeze to his hand made Gray notice how he wasn't as uncaring as he attempted to be.
"No. I had a little chat with Lucy the other day." Gray said slyly. "She said something that surprised me. But, then again, I guess it was your intent from the start, no?"
"I don't have a clue what you're talking about." Natsu replied, face showcasing his bafflement.
"No? Why didn't you tell me, you flame brain?" Gray asked sharply, face turning deadly serious. "Why this drawn-out game?"
"Hm." Natsu pressed his lips together. "It wasn't a game."
"No, I realize it wasn't. But I never thought you'd resort to such ridiculous means. Were the cigarettes that annoying?"
"They didn't have-!" Natsu started to say.
"So, those kisses or our dates?" Gray completed the sentence for him. "They weren't anything?"
"I didn't-!" Natsu started, once again. He let go of Gray's hand and ran both hands over his hair. He stood up and started pacing agitatedly. "You just don't get it. You're… you!"
"And what do you mean with that?" Was the gelid reply.
"I've… I had come to the realization that I liked you. And thought you had too." He said, flustered.
"I hadn't."
"And at first I hadn't really thought about anything like that, I was just… curious."
"And impulsive."
"Hey, you know me, I'm impulsive sometimes…" Natsu grinned briefly before continuing. "I was curious as to what was so interesting about that. And the smoke. And… you…"
"So you kissed me." Gray deadpanned.
"Yeah. I got more curious then. Wanted to know you better, beyond our rivalry." Natsu shrugged and sat back down, in front of Gray. "So I started thinking. And then we talked."
"And then we started dating." Gray added.
"I never thought of it like that. I just, I enjoy spending time with you . And fighting you. And our competitions, our cuddles. I like kissing you." Natsu concluded with a shrug. "I never gave it a name. Dating." He paused and shook his head. "We're just us, doing our thing."
"You have a point." Gray conceded. "I didn't feel much of a shift. It was… natural."
"So, I hadn't noticed you hadn't caught up." Natsu continued. "Then again, I should have expected it, I mean, when your brain is just an ice block…" He said with a cheeky smile that was mock-slapped away.
"You have to talk about those things, you asshole." Gray said before tackling Natsu to the ground.
They mock struggled for a bit before Gray held Natsu's face and kissed him.
And they kissed.
Plenty of times.
"Looks like I've finally gotten your taste." Natsu said with a laugh. Gray shook his head and grinned down at him.
"I can say the same." The ice mage replied before kissing Natsu some more.
The pair enjoyed kissing. And they indulged, plenty. So much so that it was as if Gray had found a new addiction.
The silly fire mage had become it.
And a realization hit Gray. Addiction seemingly had led him to where he wanted to be.
He didn't regret it one bit.
A/N: Thanks to mdelpin for the beta, any typo is most likely from my tweaking. Oopsies. :P
To everyone over at the FT LGBTales discord, thank you!
And thanks for reading.