Mission Completed
A/N I am borrowing (with permission) from BVBhybrid their idea from their story "Crack". It intrigued me greatly and I think I would like to add to their version. There is also a picture on my Pinterest of a mourning Bucky kneeling next to a fallen Cap ( ).
"I'm not going to fight you." Cap panted, his belly slippery and wet with his blood, barely able to stand. The shield fell from his numb fingers down through the broken window as explosions rocked the foundation of the ship. Both men swayed where they stood, half alive from battle, huffing like fighting dogs in a duel. Rogers rasped through a raw throat, "You're my friend." The smell of burning fuel and ordinance pricked their noses. Sweat ran in rivulets into both their eyes and stung their wounds.
Bucky's eyes drifted down watching the shield fall through sparks and smoke. Something in his memory twisted horribly like a tentacle in his brain. Demons howled commands in his ears. Zola's voice in accented English gibbered on about what a fine weapon he was going to become. Russian blended with English blended with German until it was a violent swirl of sound. A snowy train snaking through the Alps appeared and then became a living snake ready to strike him. He wanted to drop to his knees and scream until the pain was gone but one voice was clear: Pierce's, "Wipe him and prep him." The Winter Solider latched on to that one coherent thought with a vengeance. With a guttural roar, James lunged at Steve, tackling him to the glass and steel floor.
"You're my mission." He sputtered and began to use the only weapon he had in his possession: himself.
Cap's head snapped back again, again and again. Blood flew with spit and sweat as the Winter Soldier marginalized the grainy memories of newsreels in the back of his head of him and Steve and the Commandos. That train in the Alps. The days on Cony Island, Azzano, school days…. Blurs of moments and lies and lies and lies!
Finally out of breath, the Winter Soldier paused. He was a weapon! They don't become tired! Weakness! The Pierce voice yelled louder and louder but Steve's voice cut through it. "Then finish it. 'Cause I'm with you…to the end of the line."
A dawn lightened in Bucky's mind behind his eyes. Jaws of a horrible trap snapped shut in his brain as he finally locked Pierce away. The beam below them shuddered and then collapsed. Steve fell from his grip.
It was too late.
He killed Captain America.
James took a huge lungful of air and dove down into the murky depths. Where was he? He has to be here. Dammit! God please don't let him… Swimming awkwardly with one good arm and heavy clothes, he finally saw the shimmer of white, the star on Cap's chest gleaming pale in the shadowy water like a distant star in the heavens.
Grasping Rogers' collar, Barnes heaved upward and pulled with all his might.
"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." he had said earnestly in his brown wool uniform, as if Steve would take him seriously. The feeling they wouldn't see each other ever again settled itself in his gut like a rock.
"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." Steve had bit back, blue eyes angry yet proud at his friend's opportunity to serve their country. Somehow, he was going to get over there too, even if it killed him.
Bucky remembered now, and it was too late.
Hauling out on a small beach, Barnes collapsed to knees next to his friend's side, right arm dangling useless. Leaning down to see if he was breathing, James stared at Rogers' neck. It bent at such an odd angle that he observed it in shock for several moments. The Soldier in him told him Steve probably broke it at the impact of the water from that height. The Soldier told him he completed his mission and HYDRA would be proud.
Bucky firmly told the Soldier to shut the hell up.
Steve looked at peace; except for the purpling bruises and lacerations he received from Bucky's fists. A visceral hand grabbed Bucky's guts and heaved upward. Retching, but with nothing to give, James looked away from Steve's body for a moment. A fierce trembling overtook his frame. Turning back, his left hand ghosted over Rogers' form. "Oh God no. No. I… I didn't.. no. " James gasped like a fish out of water. He was alive in the ship. He was. But then he let Cap fall. Fall to his death.
Bucky Barnes killed his best friend.
Staring skyward, a cry ripped itself from his innards as if the Devil himself was gutting James alive. When the sound died in his throat, he leaned forward and began to rock back and forth methodically, thick wet hair dangling like seaweed around Steve's golden face. Sobs wracked his body like a sledgehammer.
"Bucky!" Steve's voice called out to him as if from a distance.
"You're dead! Dead! All… my… fault." James howled back refusing to look up from the corpse of Rogers before him. Spasms twitched and jerked his body as if he was a marionette puppet and his guilt was pulling the strings.
"Bucky! Wake up. You're dreaming." Rogers' friendly voice called out around him like a voice of an angel.
"No. You're… dead?" Bucky's eyes flew open wide to morning daylight and a warm bed. Sweat coursed down his forehead and his sheets were torn and twisted into damp knots.
"The dream." Steve sat opposite him on his own bed, arms resting on his knees. In the few weeks after Bucky had been found, Steve slept in the same room to comfort him when the night terrors returned. "Same one?"
Bucky swallowed hard, his eyes still racing around the room for any hint that this particular reality wasn't real. His breath came in quick gasps. Slicking his hand back through his sweat stained hair he gingerly sat up. Locking eyes with Steve, who still sat across from him, Barnes launched himself at Cap, embracing him in a bear hug. Steve rocked back as Bucky's body hit him and then gently returned the hug.
"Never die. Never. Promise me." Bucky gibbered, terror edging his voice. Sam had warned Rogers about this part of recovery from HYDRA's brainwashing.
"Ok, Buck. Ok. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. Ever. Till the end." Rogers soothed, almost coming to tears himself. He was so torn seeing his friend suffer through debriefing, but in the end they were together and that made it almost bearable.
Their mission was finally complete.