"This is nice." Sam commented from his place on the ground. He had his head up tot he sky, watchng glowing stars, several thousand or so twinkling. Like tiny little eyes. But that was a bit creepy. Dean hummed in agreement, sitting in a lawn chair they had managed to bring. He looked a lot like dad in it with his beer. A fire beside them crackled busily, along with the natural sounds of the Winsconsin night, and the soft humming of Dean occasionally singing.
"It is." He replied. Mutual, soft, gentle. Almost like they weren't close on hell. Sam turned to look at his face slightly.
"It doesn't feel like two days... it feels like forever." They planned on staying out for a week. To be close, safe for once. But Sam always felt safe with Dean. His big brother always protected him and he always protected his big brother. And at nght they could sleep together and he could have a hand on his shoulder. Dean was always there. Always, thats what Sam was afraid of losing.
"I'm glad. If time flies then we won't be able to enjoy it." Now he sounded like dad.
"hm." He copied that tired, or more tranquil, voice. His hand went up to touch his fingers on the glass bottle. They were warm on the cool surface, and they swited over so that a plam could be laid out for him to play with. Dean was used to Sam meddling with him, since he was the more affectionate of the two. An owl hooted somewhere off in the distance.
And for a long time they sat like that. Sam holding and stroking his brothers hand, Dean sipping his beer. Two and a half years since they started... fooling around. It started off clumsy and strict. Not worth all the trouble they went through to keep it down. But as time went on they found it wasn't as horrible as they thought it would be. Being romantic was no problem, touching ad kissing was no problem, and going all the way was the least of their worries now. It made them happy. Sam got all of that love he had needed for so long naturally, and the other brother found himself growing back into the person he used to be. He, without hesitation now, could say I love you. No flinching. No grimaces. Just a smile and a kiss. Just love.
It must have been late now. Sam pulled the hand down and kissed it's palm. Dean smiled up in his chair. The fire was ready to die, leaving them in a soft but dark glow, and fireflies were just settling down.
"Come on big boy, time for bed." He stood up with a heave of a sigh, and laced their fingers to pull him up gently. Sam stood also, imitating him. for a long time he was known for imitating Dean. He said nothing but bent to place a kiss on his head, and squeezed his hand. They had a nice tent set up, warm and snug with only room for sleep. They kept their things in duffels outside the tent, or in the car as Dean preferred. Less reason for bears or people to come out. But Sam sometimes thought he was just being paranoid.
Dean spent a moment putting out the fire, and they both packed up used food cans and plates to stow away from animals. Practiced, it felt oddly normal. Like instinct. Then they both headed into the tent, sucking under it's opening with a final look to the stars and the bright moon. How Sam loved to be outdoors when it was pretty.
They slept in their clothes for the most part, it being freezing outside. But they lay under three thick blankets and wrapped up in eahc other. Sam nestled under Dean's chin, his arm locked tightly over his waist while theo other was folded against his chest. Dean lay one by his head while the other was copying Sam and on his shoulders. Oh, and good luck untangling their legs.
"I love you Dean." Sam spoke up.
"I love you too." So hesitation. Then, a soft kiss to his head, and then silence.
"Do you think mom sees us?" Sam asked in the dark. Dean sighed heavily. It was a heavy burden, always on sam's mind one way or another. He had not known mom as well as his brother did. It made him sad and wonder-struck.
"I hope so. I hope she knows... that we are good." Wow.
"You suck at words." Sam mumbled but cuddled deeper.
"Shut up." He chuckled. It was a deep and honey-glazed rumble.
"Sorry." He grinned and kissed his throat. Dean hummed again with approval.
"But I hope she is proud of us." Another moment of silence, but a pleasant one.
"Me too." And that was it. They lay together in a tangled heap in a small tent on some mountain in Winsconsin. If they were alone in this, at leats they had each other. At least Sam could wake up the next morning, smile at the sight of his sleeping brother, and kiss him awake for breakfast. At least he had Dean. And if thats all he had, then he was happy.
It was good.