This is the first fic posted on my new account. The other one had more than a few… problems (mostly the fact that everyone at school had discovered it and I'm an idiot so I deleted it). This is filling a kink meme, by the way.
'Shizuo...making sweet love to the vending machine'
Enjoy.
"IZAYA!" A mighty roar echoed throughout the night city, chilling the spines of those who heard. Well, at least the tourists. The locals were all too familiar with Ikebukuro's strongest man, Shizuo Heiwajima, and his 'tangents'. They were also, fortunately, accustomed to the man who provoked the monstrous blond in the first place, one Izaya Orihara.
Busting a stop sign, Shizuo ripped it from its place and threw it at the raven enemy, who of which unfortunately dodged it. Whatever, he could always go and grab the vending machine to his left. So, he did. However, something changed inside him when he saw that cute face of the vending machine opposite him. Wait, cute?
Weird.
Being the nice man he is, Shizuo turned away from the vending machine and towards Izaya. Yet again, the raven was taunting him, calling him a monster, of all things!
"Oh? Shizu-chan., what's with the look on your face? You've given up trying to kill me? How bori-" A stop sign was flung in Izaya's general direction, cutting close to the smirking man's face. God damn it. He missed literally just by a hair. Whatever, the flea just ran away, and Shizuo just didn't have the energy to chase after him anymore. Woah, that was a new one to him. Fatigue.
Now, to figure out this 'cute' business with the vending machine. Thankfully, everyone in the crown that was watching had called it quits and walked on past. So that meant Shizuo could inspect the beauty without any eyes on him. Waling up to the vending machine, Shizuo had felt a little thud in his heart, the kind you feel when you talk to you crush, accompanied with the butterflies in his stomach. Shizuo, however, dismissed this, thinking it was something he had eaten earlier in the day.
"I see… You really are that gorgeous, even more so up close…" Shizuo was surprising himself with his own words. What? Was he seriously hitting on a… a vending machine? But now he had started, he couldn't stop himself.
Leaning in, Shizuo gave a shy peck on the hard, plastic cover of the machine. No response, as he expected. Shizuo tried again, going for a rougher kiss this time. Hmm, was it him, or did the machine give a little buzz? Really going for it this time, Shizuo thrust himself upon the machine, tongue and all. To any bystander, it would have just looked like a slightly unstable man licking a machine, but to Shizuo, it was a romantic exchange of hot, lust-filled passion between lovers. Unfortunately, Shizuo did not see the masses of people fixated on him, some in shock, some in wonder. Izaya, however, had come back to this utterly beautiful scene and decided it would be absolutely perfect blackmail material. So there he was, snapping away as Shizuo slowly but surely realized the crowd, made a hissing sort of sound and walked off with a slight of shame.
The next morning, Shizuo was reading the local newspaper when he came across an interesting headline, to say the least.
Today's Breaking News: Ikebukuro's Monster Attracted to Vending Machines! (picture by Izaya Orihara)
Sighing, Shizuo gathered his clothes and smashed the door clean off, mumbling about how Izaya really didn't stand a chance this time.
The worst thing is, I actually struggled at that pathetic attempt at romance.