Jowan is whining something at me again. I really don't know why he's trying to talk to me, can't he see I'm busy? I refocus on the doomed creature across the room, the stupid animal had made the mistake of trying to chew into my trunk again. I really shouldn't be practicing my crushing prison spell on a rodent, but it's not like any of the enchanters will let me try it on another mage. That thought makes me smile, there are few potential test subjects I can think of at the moment.

"Vaelyn! I'm talking to you."

I narrow my gaze and give Jowan a long and lethal glare, taking my eyes off of my prey for a moment. He withers under my accusing look, like a damn wilted flower. When did he get so meek...needy? I don't remember this much whining when we were younger. Come to think of it, he's been a bit off this past year. Why am I just realizing this now?

"SQUEAK!"

The rat's death pulls me back to what I was originally doing. There is a satisfying puddle of blood and rat squashed beyond recognition on the carpet near the apprentice beds across from me. Jowan is regarding the small corpse with wide and fearful eyes, his hands fidgeting with his robe nervously.

"Vaelyn, what was that spell you used on the rat?"

"If I tell you you'll just chastise me again."

"I knew it! You're practicing magic above your level! You're going to get us in trouble with Knight Commander Greagoir again!"

I bite back a nasty reply, Jowan isn't completely wrong. Crushing prison is an advanced spell, and mages aren't allowed to even think about casting it till they pass their harrowing. Okay, so maybe it hadn't been the smartest move practicing it where anyone could walk in at any time. Greagoir has already been keeping a close watch on me after the incident in the library where a rat exploded from my walking bomb spell and sprayed him with it's innards. It had been damn hard keeping a straight face as he had raged at me, not knowing he had a rat eyeball stuck in his hair. The memory makes me want to chuckle evilly.

"Lyn, snap out of it, you've got that look again!"

"What look Jowan?"

"The smug look you get when you're thinking about bad things."

"Bad things, Jowan? That's the best you can come up with?"

Jowan starts to speak again and instead closes his mouth and looks at me with those sad puppy eyes. I hate that look, somehow it always makes me feel like I did something wrong. Oh Maker preserve me, those big eyes are beginning to fill with tears. Why would he be tearing up? What did I miss?

"Jowan, stop. Look I'm sorry I didn't hear what you were saying before. You know better then to just start talking at me, my hearing is rarely excellent."

There, that should work. He knows ever since the incident where a young apprentice cast a fireball spell in the library by accident that I've been a bit deaf in my left ear. Yup, there he goes, perking up a bit. Men, they're all sodding big babies.

"It's alright Lyn, I forgive you. I was trying to tell you that you've been summoned to your harrowing! It's scheduled for tonight!"

I am speechless. Utterly speechless. My harrowing? I knew it would be soon, but I didn't think it would be tomorrow. It's a good thing I'm already sitting on my bed, as my legs seem to have turned into jelly. Jowan is watching me carefully, he seems confused by my lack of words. Can't really blame him there, I usually have no problem telling him what I think. I don't have many friends in this Maker forsaken tower. Not a lot of apprentices willingly study the school of spirit, let alone socialize with one who does. A lot of them say it's not fair fighting. Piffle, as if the school of entropy is fair with all their curses and hexes.

I really alienated a lot of them when I started studying the school of primal magic in addition to my study of the school of spirit. Everyone started treating me like I was some sort of show off or something. I admit I almost crumpled under the workload at first, but then I found my stride. There is nothing to do in this damn tower so I had figured I'd make the most of my time here and just maybe I'm a bit competitive.

"Lyn, please say something? Aren't you excited?"

Ah, poor Jowan, all he wants is his harrowing. I imagine he's doing his best not to be jealous. Time to gather yourself together Vaelyn Surana, change is coming whether you're ready for it or not.

"No Jowan, I'm not excited. They don't tell us what it is, so I have no way to prepare. I hate not being able to prepare and you know that."

Damn, he's wincing again. I really didn't mean to have that edge in my voice. Why am I finding it so easy to be mean to him? Oh that's right, he's been off with some woman for a few months now and has been pretty much absent since he met her. And when he's around he's always asking for me to cover for him when he sneaks off to meet her. Still won't tell me who the woman is either. I am supposed to be his best friend damn it, it irks me he won't trust me with his secret.

"Look Jowan, thanks for telling me. I need to go freshen up and then study."

He looks a bit crushed, well he'll just have to deal.

"Alright Lyn."

After Jowan leaves I go and hide in the first floor library. People tend to leave you alone if you look deeply engrossed in a book . It's never a good idea to startle a mage, usually ends up turning you toasty. I've half a dozen books around me on the table and I pretend to be comparing passages. It's not really necessary, I already have read almost every book that they'll allow me to read. After a few hours of being completely immersed in a book on the first blight, I notice most of my fellow mages have left the area for the midday meal. It'd probably be smart to eat something, but I just can't seem to care enough to get up. I will however get a little more comfortable. After grabbing my book I sink to the floor and lean my back up against some shelves in the corner. Ah, much better. I hate hunching over those damn tables, they're a little too tall for me. Jowan says it's because most elves are shorter then humans. There seems to be plenty of elves here, but of course they wouldn't make things more convenient for us.

If I survive the harrowing I should apologize for being so sharp to Jowan. I start to mentally rehearse my apology to him when I feel a funny tingle on the back of my neck. Someone is watching me, intently. I haven't heard anyone talking, so it's not one of the younger apprentices, they never shut up. Well, perhaps I'll just casually stretch my arms above my head and just happen to look around me as I do so. I bring my hands together to crack my knuckles then smoothly turn the movement into a nice big stretch. Just as my arms become fully extended over my head, my eyes lock onto the watcher. It's one of the templars and he's staring at me in the most peculiar way. What the fade? He's staring at my chest! Surprised, I've frozen with my hands in the air, and my bosom posed in an attention grabbing way. Oh maker, he's just shifted his gaze to my face. A blush colors his face a bright red and I quickly bring my arms down and make a great fuss over trying to find my place in my forgotten book.

The templar seems to shake himself mentally and moves out of sight. Well that was interesting. I think I know him too. Gods, what was his name? Colin? No, that wasn't it. Cullen! Hmm, he's even sort of cute. I think he's the one that was on duty when that stupid blond entropy bitch picked a fight with me. She had called me a lot of names, but I didn't react till she started saying that because I was an elf I must be the daughter of a whore. That had been the final straw and I'd slapped her so hard she'd stumbled backwards. I'd been just about to go in for the kill, both my hands poised to strangle the wench when a pair of armored arms had wrapped themselves around me and hauled me away from my prey. I'd then attempted to smack him, but ended up bruising my hand on his armor because of the awkward position we were in. After he put me down, I apologized for attempting to strike him, and he'd apologized for grabbing me. We had even chatted briefly, it wasn't the most interesting conversation but it wasn't bad either.

All too soon it's time to report to the Knight Commander. I'll be honest, I really don't like the man. He tends to yell a lot. So with a stiff upper lip I follow him to the harrowing chamber. Ugh, I hate it when they start quoting the chant of light. Let's hurry up and get this over with. Oh, look at the pretty pedestal with all that lyrium, wonder why we need that?