When someone dies they say that you must live on for them, but what happens when living without them is simply too hard? How can someone who has never felt the pain of losing someone close to them give you advice and demand you to move on? I fail to understand how someone can make out that the ripping feeling that you feel deep within your soul is nothing and that your tears are pointless. I lay at night staring up at the sky, wishing that she would come back to me. I miss her so much yet, I have no one to talk about it to. Who could possibly understand what I feel deep within my heart? Every time I look up at the sky where those two towers used to be my heart screams out in pain. I lost my wife that day, my one true love. It's been 8 months since her death, and they say it gets better but does it really? It is not how long that someone has been gone for that makes you miss them, but it is the moments that you are doing something and wish with all your heart and soul that they were with you again. I've been told so many times that the pain I feel is simply psychological but truth be told, I just want her back. She was the one person that I loved more than anyone. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if she hadn't have gone to work that day, maybe our baby would be alive, maybe she would be alive. I wonder what it would have been like to have a baby with her, to have her with me, and see her be a mother. I sometimes wish that it were I instead that had been there instead but I know that that is not possible. A dream is a wish your heart makes, or so I've been told. See, thing is every night I dream of her, I dream of my Claire. My love, my wife, my soul mate and the person who I love with every part of my being. How long does it take to get through this think fog of grieving? I will move on, eventually but I just need time. I will never forget her.