headcanon: proloughe. it's french for prologue
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Naom stood in his favorite corner of Heaven, watching as the other angels passed through the stark, sterile hallways. Things were perfectly ordered. The Apocalypse was all planned out. And Castielle, his personal favorite brainwashed warrior, sat vacantly at Naom's desk, ready to carry out his plans.
He cackled, just a little evilly. He wasn't usually one for cackling, but this was a special occasion. Everything was falling straight (note of author: laughter) into place. Sometimes cackling could be excused.
He turned, then, to see Casss, slumped in the chair, the perfect, brainwashed slave. He grinned, and began to lecture.
"You!" he hissed with a great white smile. "You, you idiot! You thought you were special, didn't you?" He circled her like a shark. "Since the dawn of time, angels have been the perfect soldiers of God. You, however, have broken this time-honored tradition. Free will, though believed by many scholars to be true and genuine, is an illusion. Today, we shall be discussing exactly why you are such a failure. Be sure to copy down the learning target from the board and take plenty of notes." He gestured with a flourish at the whiteboard, his angel blade indicating the I-Can Statement. I can demonstrate the many ways in which I am a complete and utter failure.
"First of all, we will be discussing angels that aren't failures. For example, EVERY. SINGLE. ANGEL. BUT. YOU." He slammed his angel blade against the whiteboard, a malicious grin lighting up his face like a currently-being-smote demon. "Take Michael. She - DIDN'T FAIL. Nor did Raphael. Even Gabriel played her part in a twisted, sadistic way." His comment on twistingness and sadism was only a little ironic. "YOU - " he said, pointing his angel blade straight (note of author: laughter) at Casss, "are but a piece of gum we must scrape from the bottom of Heaven's desk. You have failed, time and time and time and time and time again. You barely succeeded in keeping Deanna from graduating. It would have been SO, SO SIMPLE just to BURN THE RECORDS, WIPE THEM from the ONLINE INTERFACE. Her TRANSCISPT! (note of author: laughter) YOU COULD HAVE DESTROYED IT! BUT YOU HAD TO CAUSE A SCENE! YOU COULD HAVE RUINED IT ALL! DO YOU KNOW WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED HAD THE HUMANS LEARNED OF OUR TRUE EXISTENCE! ANY MORE THAN ONE AT LEAST. ARE YOU INSANE, CASTIELLE? ARE YOU A FAILURE, CASTIELLE?"
Castielle opened her mouth to answer, but before she could get a word out, he screamed in her face. "THE ANSWER IS YES!"
"You almost ruined our plan with your ineptitude and your TOTAL. FAILURE. This, of course, is why have resorted to a method commonly known as brainwashing, and uncommonly known as FIXING UTTER, COMPLETE KNUCKLEHEADS! I thought you could learn to obey authority. It turns out, according to research and observation, that YOU CANNOT. Do you know why? Do you know why, Castielle? Because you, my friend, ARE A TOTAL FAILURE! You are the epitome of failures. The - the CASTIELLE of knowing what's going on. And you know what Castielle means in that sentence? FAILURE! BECAUSE YOUR NAME. MEANS. FAILURE! Thus, we have resorted to the aforementioned technique of brainwashing. You will find yourself in this room at strategic intervals, mostly between third and fourth period. You will not remember these visits, but you will act on what you are told. You will believe that you act of your own free will. You will have no choice whatsoever in the matter. I'm here to assist your learning, but you are responsible for...well, actually nothing, because you're a COMPLETE AND TOTAL FAILURE. Just sit back and let me continue to drive my knife into your skull, because you can't be trusted with anything, because YOU'RE A FAILURE! Do you hear me, Castielle? A FAILURE! A no-good, angel FAILURE. Make sure to take good notes, you PIECE OF FAILURE GUM." He pointed his angel blade at her once again. "I am going to CHEW YOU FOR A GOOD HOUR BECAUSE YOU'RE A LONG LASTING FLAVOR AND SPIT YOU OUT LIKE THE FAILURE GUM YOU ARE! Note taking is NOT OPTIONAL in this class! Now, onto the syllabus. This is a summary of the tasks you'll be asked to complete in this class." He slammed a thick packet onto his desk, stabbing it with the angel blade for emphasis. "The drop date for this course is three weeks ago. You. Have. No. Free. Will. Make sure to purchase an angel blade and a college-ruled notebook, as they are required for this class in FAILURE." He sat back in his chair, sharpening his angel blade unnecessarily on a piece of flint he had materialized from his pocket.
Casss raised her hand emotionlessly.
"Yes?" hissed Naom.
"Will there be any homework?"
"WHAT A RIDICULOUS QUESTION, YOU FAILURE! THIS ISN'T HIGH SCHOOL! And yes, there will be homework. I'd suggest you get started."