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Lita looked over at her clock and saw it was a little after one in the morning. She had been trying to go to sleep for the past few hours but to no avail. She fell asleep for a couple of minutes every now and then, but she was having a hard time staying asleep because her brain was all over the place and it wouldn't shut off long enough for her to relax. She couldn't stop thinking about what Trish accidentally let slip to her earlier that day over the phone. She already had knowledge about the information her friend unintentionally told her about, just not the specific details, but that didn't mean she was prepared for it. There was nothing that could ever prepare her for that.

The former diva sighed as she got up and sat up in her bed before turning on the lamp on her side table. She looked around her room and remembered she was cleaning and organizing her room before she felt exhausted and tried to fall asleep. She decided since she couldn't sleep anytime soon, there was no harm in getting back to the task especially because she thought it could be a good distraction. It did seem to help her earlier that day so she hoped it would do the trick right now as well and possibly tire her so she could actually get back to bed.

Lita had been cleaning for ten minutes so far and it successfully helped her clear her mind of what was bothering her before until she came across something in the back of her walk in closet that she meant to throw out a while ago. She didn't know why she didn't throw the box of things away, but there it was, staring right back at her like it was mocking her.

For some reason unknown to her, she began to look through the box which was filled with memories of good times. She didn't know why she was torturing herself, but she continued looking at the things. She smiled when she saw a purple dragon and a blue monkey on the top and remembered when she got them. He gave it her the purple dragon when they first started dating. They went to a carnival where he won it for her in a ring toss game after several tries. She told him to give up after spending ten minutes trying to get a ring over the bottle. He told her it wasn't as easy as it looked and it's not like she would have any luck with it herself. She accepted his challenge and much to his chagrin, Lita was able to get a ring over a bottle on her second try. He waved off her success and told her it was beginner's luck. Not one to give up, he then spent another ten minutes trying to get a ring over a bottle himself with her complaining how they could have been doing other things while he was trying to do something he was clearly failing at. But he was successful and that was when he chose a purple dragon and gave it to her. The blue monkey was from when she chose the prize when she won herself. She gave it to him saying it matched his eyes, but it somehow made its way back to her.

She placed the two stuffed animals down beside her on the ground and continued looking through the box which contained other items such as her favorite piece of jewelry which was given by him. It was a heart shaped diamond necklace he gave her on their one year anniversary. She used to wear it a lot but didn't feel comfortable to continue wearing it after they broke up. She put the necklace back in its box and placed it down near the stuffed animals and continued to look through the memories which included tickets to a concert she forced him to go to, a concert he forced her to go to, pebbles from the beach, photo booth pictures, cheesy little love notes, among others. Soon enough, the box was empty and she put the things back into it, taking the box out of the closet and putting it aside in her room so she could officially get rid of it soon.

Lita went back inside her closet and came across another box which was filled with photo albums which was filled with pictures of the two of them over the two or so years they were together. She was about to just take the box out and put it on the side along with the other box, but something overcame her once again and she began to look through the pictures. She didn't even get half way through one of the albums when she started to get more emotional and her eyes began to well up with tears. Just the sight of the dragon and monkey triggered her emotions so she had to question why she even continued looking at the other objects.

The redhead decided she had enough and closed the photo album and put it on top of the others. She decided she didn't want to keep the pictures either so she took that box out of the closet as well and placed it next to the other box. She would just have to get rid of all the things tomorrow.

She chose to go back to bed when she realized cleaning and organizing her closet wasn't going to help her stop thinking about what was bothering her. She almost fell asleep when she heard her phone go off. Great, she thought, just when I was finally falling asleep, someone decides to call. Who even calls at a time like this? It's two in the morning. She was just going to ignore whoever called her, but she received yet another call a few moments later and knew it had to be from the same person.

She sighed as she turned around on her other side so she could get her phone from the side table. She immediately sat up when she saw a familiar name flash up on her phone. She wanted to ignore him. She was so close to ignoring him, but he called for a third time and she was considering answering the phone, thinking maybe this was her only chance to tell him something she had been wanting to tell him for a couple of months now. She just didn't know how to tell him before. She called him a couple of times blocking her number in case she would chicken out and hang up on him like she did every single time he picked up the phone. But now he was calling her himself so maybe she could tell him now before it was too late.

She finally answered the call right when it was about to go to voice-mail once again which would have caused him to call her for a fourth time in a row. For some reason, she said nothing at all, rather waiting for him to say something first.

"Lita, are you there?" The voice on the other end of the call asked her to which he didn't get a response. "Well, there's no dial tone and I didn't hear your voice-mail message so I know you picked up. Plus I can sorta hear you breath. Why aren't you saying anything?" She still said nothing and she didn't know why so he was about to continue but she finally broke her silence.

"It's two in the morning John," Lita finally said after a while. "Why are you calling me?"

John shrugged on the other end because he really didn't know the answer to that himself. "I don't know," he truthfully answered her. "I guess I couldn't sleep and I remember how I used to call you before when I couldn't fall asleep because you almost always had the same problem too so I decided to call you today."

"There's a big different between then and now," Lita replied. "You can't just call me whenever you want too. I'm sure your fiancé wouldn't appreciate you calling me."

"I miss you," John said ignoring her last statement. Lita said nothing for a while so he thought she hung up on him, but he found out she didn't when she finally spoke up again.

"Then why are you marrying Mickie? Trish told me it's happening in a couple of days."

"Because I love her."

"Then why do you miss me?" This time, John said nothing in response which she took as a cue to continue. "Don't marry her. Last time we saw one another, you told me you were going to leave her and I told you not to do that and you said if I ever change my mind that you would do so, so now I'm asking you please do not marry her and just leave her."

"I can't do that now," he shook his head. "I made a commitment to Mickie when I asked her to marry me and I'm not going to back off from that now."

"But you were engaged to her when you told me you would leave her for me. You were engaged to her back then so why are you changing your mind now?"

"Because," came John's simple reply.

"Do you love Mickie?"

"I already told you I do. If I didn't, then I wouldn't be marrying her."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes," John reluctantly answered, not because it wasn't the truth and he had to think about it, but because he knew where she was going with this. "I will always love you."

"Okay. Do you love her more than you love me?" She asked confirming his previous suspicion. He didn't know how he could answer this question because he knew he would be hurting her with either answer he gave her. "I take your silence as a no," Lita said after he wouldn't say anything. "Why are you marrying her?" She asked once again to which he stayed quiet. "Does she know what happened between us a few months ago?" She asked in reference to when he visited her a few months ago after a house show in Atlanta. He was newly engaged at that time but he missed his ex-girlfriend and since he was in her hometown, John decided to visit Lita. She was surprised when he did show up, but she missed him as much as he missed her and let him in. They talked and caught up with one another which led them to do a little extra something else.

"Yea," John nodded. "I told her."

"What did she say?" Lita interrupted him before he could continue.

"She was upset but she forgave me," he answered and was about to say more, but was interrupted yet again.

The redheaded woman shook her head. "That doesn't make any sense at all. Mickie hates me so she would obviously be pissed that we slept together while you two were together."

John sighed. "Can we not talk about this anymore?" He asked even though he knew she wasn't going to leave it any time soon.

"Why won't you leave her if you love me more than her? You say you love us both, but I know you love me more than her because you aren't even declining it."

"She's pregnant, okay?" John finally said which surprised Lita. She fell into silence once again. "Please say something."

"That's okay. You don't have to marry her just because she's pregnant. There are plenty of people who have kids together and never get married."

"I'm not going to runaway from my responsibility. That's my child too, not just hers."

"So?" Lita shrugged. "Why does it matter? You don't have to marry her just because she's pregnant. There are plenty of people who have children together but aren't married."

"I know that, but I rather be there for the both of them."

"You can still be there for the both of them without getting married. I won't stop you."

"I can't do that. Mickie will keep my child away from me and I can't let that happen."

"Then you go to court and fight for your rights because Mickie can't legally keep your child away from you."

"You know courts judge with the moms more and you know Mickie is going to use my schedule against me."

"She won't do that."

"What's your problem?" John asked surprised. He had no idea she was still going to be insistent on him leaving Mickie even after she found out the other woman was pregnant.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing anything to you," John said irritated. He didn't know why she wasn't understanding he can't just leave his unborn child. "I have to think about my family. Plus, you're the one who broke up with me in the first place when you retired and you told me to move one because we would never happen again."

"I thought it was for best at the time because we wouldn't see much of one another. We tried it for two months after that and you know it didn't work out because we saw each other like twice in those two months."

"We would have been able to make it like I told you, but you didn't want to try."

"I know. But I want that now and I'm willing to take that risk now. I don't care about anything else. I love you."

"I can't do that," he interrupted her before she could get any further knowing what he was about to do was just going to get harder for him. "I love you. I really do. But I'm sorry-"

"Don't say that!" Her voice comes out cracked and he could tell she's on the verge of crying which was something he wanted to avoid because it was getting harder for him to do what he was about to do. "You can't just say that to me! You can't say you love me and then say sorry! Don't... Please don't do this to me."

"I guess this should be our goodbye. I have to move on with my family. I can't keep thinking about you all the time. This is goodbye forever."

"Please don't do this," Lita said through sobs. "I know I didn't let you when you wanted to, but I'm asking you now. Please leave her. Please don't get married to her."

"I'm sorry. Bye." He hung up before Lita could get another word in and he knew she was now full on crying. He felt terrible for what he just did. He hated to hear her cry especially because of him. He didn't want to do what he just did, but he felt that was his only option. He felt like cutting all ties with his ex-girlfriend was the only way he could fully be there for both Mickie and the baby. That was the only way he could stop thinking about her constantly. He loved Mickie, he really did, but Lita was right when she said he loved her more than his fiancé. There was always going to be a part of him that was going to love Lita. But he was thinking about his family when he made his decision, thinking that he could possibly love Mickie the way he loved Lita one day. He just had to stop thinking about her because cutting all ties wasn't going to do it alone.

Mickie was outside the door of the room John chose to make his phone call in. She went to see where he was because she woke up a while ago and didn't see him next to her. She went back to their room before he could see her and began to think about all that she just heard. She made out he was talking to Lita and heard most of the conversation. She heard when he said he loved Lita and always would. She already knew that and she knew he loved the other woman more than he loved her right now, but she had a feeling he would love her more when their baby was born. After all, kids were supposed to bring couples together.

But there was one little problem with that: Mickie wasn't pregnant. She had been pretending she was pregnant for the past two weeks and was hoping it would happen soon because she knew the baby would bring her and John together because that would be something he and Lita would never have in common.

John came to Mickie one day and confessed the night he spent with Lita. He confessed to her because he was originally going to end their relationship so he could go back to Lita. Mickie panicked when she correctly assumed what was about to happen because she didn't want that to happen and told him the only thing she thought would make him stay which was that she was pregnant. Just like she thought, John stayed with her and never uttered a word to her about Lita after that. He didn't even call the redhead until now and that too to officially burn that bridge. Mickie hoped John wouldn't find out the truth before their wedding in a couple of days and that she would get pregnant very soon. She didn't want to lose him.

Meanwhile, Lita was in her room trying to stop herself from crying. She didn't want to keep crying for someone who completely shut her out of his life now. She couldn't even tell John what she wanted which was the only reason she answered his call in the first place. Maybe that was for the best. Maybe she would just have to leave her past behind just like he was adamant on doing. Only that was going to be hard for her to do.

Lita wiped at her tears when she was finally able to stop crying. She looked down at her round belly with a sigh. She was pregnant and alone.

"Hey baby," Lita said as she talked to her unborn child. "It looks like it's just you and me now. It's just you and mommy." She paused for a moment when she thought about what she was just about to say. "Daddy has his own little family now. But it's okay because we'll be fine. We have each other, we don't need anyone else. I promise I won't ever let you feel like you're missing out on a father. I promise you I will always be there for you in any way you need. We'll be fine without him."

Lita looked over near her closet in the dark, being able to make out the two boxes she previously looked through that night. Just an hour ago she was adamant on getting rid of everything in those two boxes, but now she was having a change of heart. Truth was, she was never going to end up throwing those things away. She knew she wouldn't be able to. And now that John wasn't going to be a part of their child's life, she decided she would keep those pictures and memories to share with their child when he or she asked about his or her father because she knew it was going to happen.

Maybe she would tell John the truth one day, but today seemed like the wrong time. Or maybe she would just keep this information to herself. It wasn't like her and John were going to cross paths much, if even at all so there wasn't a way he would ever find out unless the very few people who knew slipped up and told him the truth. She felt bad for not telling him about her pregnancy even now when he called her, but he basically said he wanted nothing to do with her when he said bye forever. He was adamant on moving on with Mickie and their unborn child. Although she was being selfish and wanted him to leave Mickie, she wanted him to be happy. And if him being happy was with Mickie and their child, then she wouldn't tell him anything. Even though he would probably be pissed off if he ever found out the truth. Well, she would just have to deal with that if it ever came to that point.

Maybe it was better for the two to move on. Maybe this was for the best. She knew it was easier said than done, but she hoped she would be able to leave the past behind.

Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it. Tell me what you think, please and thanks. :)