They sat in silence on the firm sheets of Kirk's bed. At least his blankets weren't in a chaotic mess like they usually were- actually, his room was more tidy than it ever was on a casual day. Clothes off the floor, paperwork stacked. How obvious that Jim had made an effort to impress the dark-haired individual was endearing; normally things like this were beyond him, but he was a man on a mission and his First Officer wasn't just anyone who'd been invited into his residential quarters.
"You have taken time to clear your living space," Spock stated plainly as he broke the silence, all whilst examining his surroundings, hands folded neatly in his lap.
Kirk swallowed, nodding a bit before letting himself chuckle, "Yeah. Not too shabby, huh?" He finally let himself glance over at the Vulcan, but for the life of him he just couldn't even hold a gaze- great time to decide to be shy, Tiberius.
Nerves were riding on high, though the two of them were refusing to let any subtleties hint towards that idea so the other wouldn't find out. Reason why? It all began when the week prior, after months on end of flamboyant flirtation between the two, they decided on mutual terms to attempt an intimate relationship in secrecy. Kirk admittedly probably seemed more psyched on the idea than Spock, but the glint of excitement in his collected friend's eyes were enough to aware him that the feeling was mutual.
The part where they had to keep the relationship a secret wasn't so hard, considering the fact that they were practically already known for always being up each other's asses when it came to one another's business. Almost inseparable if it wasn't for the fact that their schedules were usually loaded with work and McCoy was insistent on his time spent with Kirk to occasionally lack Spock presence for the sake of preventing "giving himself a cerebral aneurysm". It's not like they'd gotten physical toward one another either- sure, Jim would drape an arm over every once in awhile, but it's technically all what he would do to be friendly with just about anyone else.
Conversations were always relatively normal. It's almost as if neither of them knew what else to do with one another. The subject of literal physical romanticism between them was so foreign.
But, this evening, Kirk decided that he was ready to put on some big boy pants since he was just about done with lone wanking. They were in a relationship, so... doing things should be alright, right?
"Um, hey, Spock," Kirk began hesitantly, turning towards his partner, finally managing to look him in the eye, "Is it alright? If I, y'know- If I kiss you? Like, that wouldn't be too weird or anything?"
"Considering our circumstance upon mutual agreement of our current relation, I do not find any reason for objection," Spock replied smoothly as he shifted his seat, balled fists laying themselves atop of his thighs almost in a nervous guard. Despite his outer shell of calm doing its usual job of keeping emotional response encased, there was always something about the slight minuscule changes of tone in the First Officer's voice that let Jim read him like a book. Kirk could practically hear the uncertainty. But, sure as hell, they were in the same boat.
Kirk let out a soft laugh, allowing tension to ease, "Alright, alright; no need to get technical about it." He slowly leaned forward, which Spock followed in pursuit, eyes locked. They rested their foreheads against one another, and to the Vulcan's surprise, lip-locking was not the first intimate sensation he was received. His breath hitched as he felt Jim's fingertips brush against his knuckles, slowly prying his fingers out from his fist. "What, did you think I forgot? I remember all your little customs," Kirk couldn't help but smile and laugh to himself, especially at the fact that he could feel Spock's eyes staring into him, a small smirk threatening to tug at the corner of his mouth. Kirk's giggling gradually came to a short end, and the room was soon filled with gentle breaths and soft noises of fingertip friction.
Almost rhythmically, Spock's breaths became deep, focused, exasperated inhales and exhales; and dammit, was that a fucking turn-on. Growing impatient and insistent on picking up the pace, Kirk tugged one of Spock's wrists forward, kissing his palm before allowing himself to lap at the sensitive digits.
"Captain-," Spock began in a gasp at the sudden erratic sensation, only to be interrupted at the unsuspected palm slowly caressing against his chest.
"Hey, it's okay, alright? It's okay," Kirk repeated in reassurance, his face now only centimeters away from Spock's own. Carefully, Jim pecked a kiss, trying not to be too greedy or overwhelming towards the new experience despite his groin begging otherwise. Still finger-locking and generously pressing their hands together into a Vulcan salute, respectively, in a shy attempt to reciprocate Kirk's consideration and patience, Spock pressed in their lips for contact once again.
Jim could feel his heart beat beginning to pick up and butterflies starting a dance in his stomach just at how fucking cute that was. He began pushing down his First Officer onto the sheets of the bed where they were both lying toppled over one another, which Spock had responded to with willing compliance. Kirk pressed his mouth onto Spock's once again, but this time going in deeper, tongue parting their lips for heated contact; heavy moans from both bodies sending humming vibrations through the two of them. It's not like Spock hadn't kissed anyone before; he'd definitely gotten his fair share of intimate response from a good amount of people, no doubt. It's just that the whole "making-out" scheme was something new, something more savage and desperate that he couldn't necessarily recall experiencing before. He attempted to follow Kirk's action, allowing his own tongue to press into his Captain's mouth, slowly grazing over pink gums. Kirk already could tell that he was taking it in as a learning experience, and couldn't help but grin into the kiss, murmuring against his partner's mouth, "Yeah, baby, just like that..."
Things were already progressively going smoothly; better for a first time than Kirk could imagine. Despite that he could feel soft trembling from the body underneath of him, but he figured and took that in as just rising anticipation bubbling in the Vulcan. Excitement. Something like that. At that point with how well Spock was respondent to the kissing, his pressed palm on his chest gradually felt its way down to the buckle of Spock's pants- almost instantaneously, before Kirk knew it, he was practically almost thrown upside down off of his First Officer towards the other end of the bed.
"WHOA- Holy shit!" Jim exclaimed out of breath, pulling himself together, rising back into a seated position, not sure whether to be apologetic for maybe causing whatever the hell just happened or downright surprised, "DUDE- I mean, Spock. Spock. The hell?! What even was that? I- I'm sorry? Because I'm not sure I'm understanding-"
"Captain."
"Nononono, wait, hold up, I was just thrown all th-"
"Captain," Spock repeated, demand of full attention in his voice.
Kirk took a deep breath, attempting to recollect calm, folding his arms over his chest, "Okay. Okay. Well, 'Mister Seismic-Toss', what exactly is on your mind. Because I would love to hear it."
"In evaluation of our situation prior, I already was well aware that you were interested in sexual intimacy. It's only... logical, considering the human male testosterone and of that sort," Spock attempted to explain, eyes near erratically darting around the room to find just something or anything to keep focus on, which blatantly revealed nervousness on his part.
Kirk's eyebrows furrowed in concern, "We agreed on this whole 'relationship' thing together- if that was something I was making you anxious about, you could have just told me. I would've-"
"No, you misunderstand," Spock interrupted, finally facing Jim properly with eyes at a steady gaze, "My... inappropriate misdemeanor was not on behalf of your upcoming progression on our physical activities. That itself was very... admittedly pleasurable. It was just that I failed to communicate my shameful discomfort towards-" he stopped himself mid-sentence, almost as if his jaw shut on its own. "-I regret that my lack of communication resulted in my disgraceful behavior."
"Wait, towards what?" Kirk pressed, still confused as ever until he finally put the context of the situation together. "... Oh! Ohhh. Are... Are you embarrassed about... y'know. Your dick? Like is it small or something? Because if it's just that, it's not like I care- I mean, I actually really don't care. Mine's pretty average-"
"No," Spock responded immediately, not necessarily able to hold back the tone of frustration as he turned his body away from his Captain, beginning to feel more and more anxious as the burning sensation on his ears and cheeks were not under his control. "It is not that."
Jim felt some of his own fault in the situation, a pang of guilt, and crawled back near Spock on the bed cautiously before wrapping an arm around his shoulder and giving a good squeeze, "Hey. Talk to me. Please? I can't fix anything if you don't tell me what's wrong."
"It is not something that you can fix," the First Officer commented plainly, still refusing to look at Kirk.
There was a moment of silence before Kirk let out an nervous sigh, "...well, I'm not going to make you do anything. You know that, right? But it kind of rubs me off the wrong way that you would think I would judge you for anything. Not to be cheesy, but that's the truth." Spock still wasn't responding. "I know you're a Vulcan- wait, is that it? I mean, do Vulcans have weird dicks? ... If that's it, not saying that it is, but, well, you know; what I'm trying to say is, I'm not dating you for what's in your pants."
For a moment, Jim almost just assumed that the conversation was just about done and over with as his hand fell from Spock's shoulder, considering how one-sided it was for a prolonged period. Right before he decided to get up and invite them to do some actual business involving work, because he knows how the structure of assignments puts Spock at ease, the Vulcan's voice finally broke the lingering quiet. "It is not so for all male Vulcans, neither for any female. It seems only... under rare individualistic biology I had contracted a mutant dormant gene that had become active during the arise of my pubescence."
Kirk only sat puzzled, raising a brow, "... and that means?"
"Because the wake of this mutant gene, my genitalia, it holds a rather... tentacle-like structure in resemblance-," Spock stopped himself again, eyes meeting back with Jim to witness an emotional response, if there was one at all.
His Captain nodded for a moment, biting at his bottom lip, contemplating whatever was running through his head in response to the information he was just then taking in. His lips parted, about to say something, but nothing quite coming out just yet. There was continued silence until Kirk broke it with a casual, lighthearted, "Can I see it?"
"Pardon?" Spock questioned abruptly in reply, confused at the calm of his human partner.
"Can I see it? If that's okay?"
Finally, Spock gave a nod. Slowly and collectively, he stood up and began unbuckling his pants as Kirk sat positioned with folded legs on the sheets. Gently, he tugged down his fabrics, more-so cautiously with his undergarments. After those went, lo and behold, there was his dignity out with all its glory.
"Oh. Wow. Well, that's new," Jim remarked still whilst marveling. He glanced at Spock's face, which held an unusual distant, unrespondant look, which was all that Kirk needed to see to know that he was feeling discomfort. Kirk pushed himself up off the bed, accompanying Spock in his pants-less wonder. "I don't know what the big deal was," he laughed lightly, making little of the situation. "I kinda like it," he continued, holding a friendly grin while he laced a hand back together with Spock's. "Now, if you don't mind- I'll be joining you," Kirk chuckled, kicking off his pants and throwing off his own underwear.
Spock raised an eyebrow (a quirk that Jim would probably never get over) examining Kirk's manhood, a smirk threatening again to tug at the corner of his mouth. "What are you- HEY. I did say it was average, alright?" Kirk blurted, plopping himself back over on the bed, secretly back to feeling content now that Spock was back to, well, himself.
"No, you misunderstand," Spock only commented, seating himself on the sheets to join Jim.
"Yeah, sure, now would you get your ass over here already?"
The mood slowly set in again, midst their continued heated make-out, Kirk's hand was placed on Spock's chest once again. "Now, you gotta promise not to throw me half-way across the room again, alright? Otherwise I'm making you suffer alone through Pon Farr," Kirk joked only halfheartedly, pressing a smile against Spock's lips before fully parting their faces so he could get a full visual of the tentacle appendage below. His palm carefully brushed past the fabrics of Spock's shirt, and, for a moment, nervously hovered above the tentacle before he decided to just go with it and not let nerves override him so the two of them wouldn't end up back in their previous unconventional position. He gently gripped, slicking his finger up and down in a slow pace to get a good feel. "Well, it's a lot less squishy than I imagined it would be, but it's a lot slimier than I-" Kirk commented with the usual chuckle to keep things playful and his partner at ease, but stopped as soon as he looked up and saw the absolute flushed visual of Spock's face, his breath audibly heaving heavier, surpressing a moan. Kirk felt himself beginning to heat up and his dick raise against his stomach.
"...self-lubrication due... due to, arousal, Captain," Spock barely managed to get through his teeth in explanation, his brows furrowed hard with eyes closed, trying to hold an inner calm.
Kirk could already feel a grin of excitement plastered on his face as he continuously jerked off the tentacle; even in response, the tentacle attempted to recoil in a grip, and as much as it surprised Jim at first, he fought back the desire to question and just followed the motion of the appendage. Hell, even as admittedly weird as it was, this was definitely like being in some cracked up asian porn Kirk had stumbled upon online once or twice, and actually being in the scenario, interestingly enough... was fun. It was certainly something new.
Kirk moved his free hand into Spock's perfectly, tidied hair, and began ruffling it in a scalp massage as he continued to twist his other wrist around with the coiling tentacle, pressing his face near Spock's ear. "What? You like that, Mister Spock? Wow, aren't you dirty," Jim whispered gruffly as the Vulcan squirmed under him, Spock's own palms pressed against Jim's back to pull him closer, "How many times have you jerked off like this by yourself?... Imagining just twisting and turning your hot, heated tentacle right inside me-"
Insantly, there was a loud knock at the door.
"Oh, for cryin' out loud!" Kirk groaned, rolling off of Spock, throwing himself off his bunk.
"Captain Kirk? Are you in there?" a voice called from the other side of his door, "I've been reported to alert you that there's been a transfer of intergalactic coordinate drafts, and..."
At that point Jim had stopped listening and just cursed to himself, "Shit, I didn't think those would be here until later tonight-" His attention turned to the shifting of blankets he notibly heard behind him and he instantaneously turned around and halted the other pants-less body. "No. You? You stay there. This?" he motioned towards his unrelenting erection, "is not done with that," motioning back over to Spock's own perking tentacle genitalia. "I will be right back, just give me, like, five seconds," Kirk reassured, thrusting his pants back on.
"Noted, Jim," Spock replied, crossing his legs over.
"C'mon, don't do that eyebrow thing otherwise that door isn't going to be answered and these pants are going out the window."