Prologue
Frodo awoke, his breaths coming rapidly and in uneven gasps due to disbelief of the realization and understanding that had just dawned on him.
He had been having strange dreams of late, not really nightmares, more akin to foretellings; but they had been clouded and vague, seemingly shrouded in fog. Until now he had not been able to discern a meaning in them. Last night, however, the fog had been lifted and the meaning became clear.
What do I do now? Are these dreams like the ones I sometimes have, are they truly revealing a glimpse of the future, or are they born only out of fear that things I have given up much to protect will come into harm's path once again? Do I tell Merry?
Yes, they must be real, he answered himself. I must go to Merry. I must tell him his family's secrets will become known and that danger will be forthcoming. I must tell him who it shall be to take upon herself the protection of the Shire, for this will happen after I am gone.
It is already April; I will be leaving in five months. It pains me that I cannot stay and take this burden from the only child Merry will someday have, a daughter. Perhaps I could stay.
No, he again answered himself. I cannot stay; I am already beginning to feel what staying would do to me. I must find healing. This will not happen for years and I have been warned about doing things that would cause change to the future, but I must also warn Merry.
Frodo got out of bed and rose shakily to his feet. He was still recovering from the illness that had again taken hold of him in March and he should not be out of bed, but when he was this determined his Baggins-stubbornness would carry him through to the end. He went to the spacious wardrobe and hastily got dressed. He would leave today.
He would be taking Strider; he had no choice but to ride. He longed for a walking trip through the Shire, but his need to arrive swiftly in Crickhollow was great and he knew he would have to wage war with Sam to do that. It was going to be hard enough to convince Sam that he needed to go now without telling him the facts of why, let alone to persuade Sam to let him walk that far.
Frodo headed to the kitchen hoping to get there before Sam began to make breakfast, so that he may be able to pack some food. As he neared, a delicious aroma wafted from the kitchen-he was too late.
Sam heard footsteps and turned from the stove to see Frodo enter the kitchen. "Mr. Frodo! What in Middle Earth are you doin' out o' bed?" As Sam said this, Frodo began to falter; Sam rushed over and caught him just before he fell. He helped Frodo over to the table and sat him down gently. "There you go sir. You just sit and rest for awhile." He made sure Frodo was comfortable, returned to the stove to check on the food, then came and sat down opposite from Frodo. "Now, just what are you doin' up? You know you shouldn't be."
"I know, Sam," he sighed. "I suppose it will do no good to lie to you." Sam nodded. "So I may as well tell you the truth now. I need to go to Crickhollow. Do not worry, I have every intention to ride and not walk."
"Frodo, you haven't the strength to make it to your own kitchen properly, how do you think you will make it all the way to Crickhollow, even if you are ridin'?"
"I don't know. I just know that I must and it must be immediate. I cannot hold this trip off."
"Why do you need to go there? And why can it not wait?"
"I must take counsel with Merry."
"About what? What is so important that it cannot wait until you are well?"
"I cannot tell you that. The subject of this counsel is for Merry's and my knowledge only. It is very important and cannot wait."
"You know I always find out. Merry will probably tell me whatever you tell him."
"No, I assure you, once he knows of the whole matter he will not tell you. Nor will he tell Pippin or anyone else. He will keep this secret. This will be known only between us."
"Well, can you not at least send word to Merry and have him come here. He would understand. Crickhollow is such a very far way."
"No. As you say, he would understand but he has some very important matters of his own that he is dealing with right now. Besides Pippin is gone to Tookland for the next few weeks and therefore there shall be no eavesdropping there as there would be here," Frodo paused and smiled. "Yes Sam, I know very well that there are not any eaves at Bag End." He smiled harder and the two remembered Sam's excellent tactics of trying to listen in.
Sam was so very pleased to see Frodo smile, and a true smile; it was such a rare sight these days. "I can see there's no convincin' you not to go. But I still don't think you should."
"Please don't fret, dear Sam. I will be fine, I promise. I will ride, not walk. And if I become weary, I will stop to rest. There are plenty of inns along the way, as you well know. I will arrive in a day or so. I will take my counsel with Merry, then return home and you may continue to fuss over me as much as you desire."
"All right, Mr. Frodo, all right. If you insist on goin' I won't try to stop yeh. Do you want me to send word to Merry by the quick-post? That way he'll be expecting you and will have some idea where you are if something goes awry on the trip."
"That is not necessary. It is a short trip when ridden. I will be fine. Now, I must get ready. Will you pack some food and ready Strider for me? I intend to leave within an hour."
"Yes, Mr. Frodo."
"Thank you, Sam."
Sam poured Frodo a cup of tea, then brought a plate piled high with eggs and sausages, and a bowl of fresh strawberries heavily topped with cream. Once Frodo began to eat, Sam packed enough food to last for a fortnight, figuring that Frodo would return home with most of it, then went out and readied Strider. When He came back in, he was shocked to find that Frodo had left, but before he had, he actually finished his breakfast; something he hadn't done in quite some time. Sam was overjoyed.
A few moments later Frodo returned to the kitchen, his pack full of clothes in hand. Frodo caught the surprise and joy on his friend's face. He knew why it was truly there, but he decided a little banter wouldn't be a bad note to start his trip on. "Well, Sam, if you're so pleased to see me leave then I suppose I shall get going."
"Frodo, I...I'm just so happy, you were able to finish your meal. Perhaps you will make this trip all right."
"I told you that I would be fine earlier. I'm almost well, the last bout wasn't too bad." Frodo smiled, hoping this would add to the effect of tricking Sam. The truth was, the last illness was terrible, one of the worst yet. He hated to lie to his dearest friend in such a way, but what he needed to tell Merry was urgent. He couldn't have the delay of getting any better than he already was before he left. He hoped that for once Sam would just believe his act. He was very uncomfortable, the amount he ate really was too much; the falter he had walking into the kitchen didn't help, and he could tell Sam still wasn't convinced. He was really going to pay for this later-
"In fact, I am still hungry," he said while picking a large apple from the barrel by the door. Sam watched as Frodo ate the apple, then another. His joy soared. Was Frodo truly becoming well again? Even more so than before. He could only hope, but hope had carried him far before and had never failed him. Tears of joy and relief welled in his eyes and began to slide down his cheeks.
"Well now, I feel much better. If everything is ready, I think I shall take my leave." They walked together to where Sam had tethered Strider at the front gate. Sam took Frodo's pack while he mounted, then passed it up to him. "Sam, please do not worry overmuch. I will be fine. What could possibly happen?" For the last part he received a glare from Sam. "If it will make you feel better, I will send a message to you when I arrive. All right?"
"I suppose. Are you sure you don't want me to come with you and that you don't want me to tell Merry to be expecting you?"
"I'm sure. I will send word when I arrive. I will have gone there and back again before you know it. Take care of yourself, Sam. Fare you well."
"Aye, and you too. Remember to stop and rest along the way. And don't you let Mr. Merry tire you out when you get there."
"I won't." Frodo turned Strider as Sam opened the gate, and headed off down the lane with Strider at a walk.
"Let his journey be a safe one," Sam pleaded softly to himself. He watched until Frodo was just a mere speck, then turned and went inside. He gathered his gardening supplies and headed out to the garden, however, he didn't get much work done.
What a most wonderful day. Frodo sighed with pleasure, taking in the beauty all around him. I think, perhaps, this trip is just what I need to recover. It is so lovely; the Shire has recovered marvelous much. All the work everyone has done, especially Sam, it seems even better than it did before. I wonder, will I truly be able to leave? Do I truly want to?
No, someone else seemed to answer for him. No, you do not wish to leave, but you must. The Shire has found its healing; now you must find your own.
The ride continued to be uneventful. Frodo had found great peace from finally being allowed to be alone. He was never left to himself any more, or so it seemed. There was always someone there. Sam or Merry or Pippin, or someone else come to call. He missed his solitude, which he often thought strange. He had been constantly in solitude only a few years before. To bear a ring of power, is to be alone. How true those words were. Even when surrounded by his friends, old and new, on the quest, he always felt rather separated and after it was over, even more so.
Sometimes he still felt secluded, even jealous. All the others had been able to settle back into their old lives; all remembering, yet not constantly reminded. Why couldn't it be so for him too? Why was he going to have to leave and give up everything he left to protect before, when it was finally safe once again? Why was everyone else so seemingly unaffected?
But they were, the foreign voice from before protested. They, as you, have all seen more than anyone ought to see; lived through more than anyone ought to live through. Do you forget they are the reason you endured what you did? To protect everything and everyone you loved. And they endured what they did because they love you. You protested to their coming along; you tried numerous times to send them all home. And now that they have returned, you would deny them everything you worked for because it is denied to you?
No, Frodo answered. He felt a warm wetness streaming down his face and only just realized that he had been weeping the entire time. I know it isn't right to feel this way. All I have ever wished for them all is to find happiness, to have the things I could not. I am truly happy for them. But for me things...are unjust. I just do not understand why I cannot be as they are; why I cannot rejoice for myself as well.
Since when has your life ever been just? The way everything has been is unjust for not only you but everyone else, the other voice replied. You just happen to be the one who has sacrificed nearly everything to see justice come to all, and indeed were ready to, and nearly did, sacrifice everything to see it done. Leaving is yet one more sacrifice you must pay, but this sacrifice will be paid only for yourself. The others are safe. The Shire is safe.
Yes, but for how long? Frodo asked. Have I truly seen a glimpse of the Shire's future? Will all that I have worked for come to naught?
This, the voice said, I cannot answer. Yes, you have caught a sight of the future. Yes, the Shire will come into peril once again. But that is not for you to try and prevent. That is not for you to do any more about than to tell Merry of what you have seen-
But, Frodo interrupted, am I not to protect the Shire again? Am I to sit passively in another land and never know what happens?
Precisely, answered the voice. You are not the one to take the Shire's protection upon yourself. This you too have seen. You must leave the Shire's future to fate. Rejoice that it is safe for now. Let come what may.
Let come what may, his own voice echoed. Frodo pondered this last statement and everything else for a great deal of time. He unconsciously continued to lead Strider on the well known path to Crickhollow.
When Frodo finally came out of his reverie, he was astonished to find that the sun had nearly set and that he was about three quarters of the way to Crickhollow. He realized, however, that he was even more astonished at the fact that he didn't feel weary. There is an inn close, should I bother to stop? He thought for a moment. No, I'm not tired and I could arrive by morning if I ride through the night. If I get tired I'll stop later. There are plenty of places along the road that I can stop if I need to. Besides, as I told Pippin, 'rests and shortcuts make delays, but inns make longer ones.' Frodo smiled at his last thought. How long ago that seemed now, and how naive they were at the beginning. Frodo rode on, in a new reverie much different from the last and definitely brighter, for it was of times before the quest.
The new reverie carried him all the way through the night. Fed by such joyous memories, he never tired, never stopped. Oh, how good it felt to be able to think of something other than the quest again. How he missed those times. As the day dawned he arrived at the grand gates of Crickhollow. Instead of knocking on the door and going straight in to rest, he dismounted and led Strider along back. Frodo still wasn't weary but Strider was and Frodo was sorry that he never stopped to let him rest. He made Strider comfortable in the stables and fed him two apples and a few sugar cubes, Strider's favorites. Frodo left him to rest and now that the sun had risen more he knocked upon the door and was greeted by a very groggy Merry.
"Frodo! What are you doing here so early? You look awful. Did you walk all the way here?"
"No. I rode."
"You rode? You must have been riding all night. Where is Strider then?"
"I have already tended to him. And yes, to stifle your curiosity, I have ridden straight from Bag End. I began yesterday morning and rode through the night. But I'm really not that tired."
"You look tired enough to sleep for a month, and still a little ill. You still haven't told me why you are here."
"Well, perhaps if you would be so kind as to invite me inside…."
"Oh, of course," Merry cut him off. "I'm sorry Frodo. Come in, come in. Let's have a seat in the parlor."
Frodo followed Merry in. Merry steered him to a seat on the couch. "I'll make some tea and then we can talk," Merry said, while he headed to the kitchen.
When Merry returned he found Frodo asleep where he sat. Merry brought a pillow and gently laid Frodo down, not even waking him. He covered Frodo with a blanket then found a comfortable spot in one of the chairs with his tea and a book.
Frodo didn't wake for some time, but when he did he found Merry close by. He was rather embarrassed. "I'm sorry Merry. I suppose I really was tired."
"Well, at least you are all right. You had me worried. Now, can you stay awake long enough to explain why you are here?"
"Oh, yes. I came to take counsel with you, Merry. It is very important. But I need you to promise that you will not act upon what I will tell you."
"What do you mean?"
"Just agree, it will be easier to explain along the way if you do."
"All right, I agree."
"The night before last, I had a dream. Not just any dream, one of those dreams." Frodo paused to see if Merry understood and seeing a look of recognition on Merry's face he continued. "Merry, the second secret of the Shire will come to be known and it will bring the Shire to great peril-"
"Frodo!" Merry interrupted. "How do you know of that?"
"My mother was a Brandybuck. She told me about it not long before she died, almost as if she knew," he faded into memory once more. "Anyhow," he called himself back, "it will come to be known. Those who learn of it and seek after it, will destroy the Shire if they are not stopped-"
"What can I do to stop this from happening?" Merry cut in again.
"Nothing. Not because you cannot, but because you must not. As you know, this gift of foresight through dreams is something that I have always possessed but I did not understand before. Also, as you know, It enhanced this gift. After this fact was discovered, I was warned by many that when I see the future, I must not do anything to alter it. It is very dangerous to do so, and any slight change can greatly affect the future. In fact, I probably shouldn't be telling you what I have seen as it is. I have more to tell you, but you must promise me again that you will not do anything to change the future. Based on just the little I have told you, I know you are anxious to do so and telling you all that I know will only make you more so. Do you promise?"
"Yes. It is not pleasing that I cannot do anything to prevent this, but I feel that I need to know all that you have to tell me. I will do as much as possible not to make any alterations that would change the future."
"Very well. When this happens, someone will need to take it upon theirself to protect the Shire. I can already tell you that it won't be me, not that I wouldn't, of course-"
"Why not you? If you already know what is going to happen, then why not be the one?"
"Merry, what have I told you? No it is not to be me, and no I won't tell you why, in one sense, but in another I will. I have already seen the one who will do this. It is not me, nor is it you or anyone alive right now. Merry, it is to be your daughter."
"My daughter?" Merry was plainly shocked.
With Merry hushed for the moment, Frodo continued, "Yes, your daughter. In time you will marry and you will have a daughter. I know it is hard to believe and I know that now, more than ever you want to take the future into you own hands, but you must not for her sake and yours. She will be one of the dearest things to you in this world, but if you do not heed my warning about not preventing the future, she will be your downfall."
"Oh Frodo. How can this happen. Why does this have to happen?"
"I don't know Merry. There are a lot of things in our lives that I don't know why they had to happen. This is but another. I do not know what the outcome will be, but this will not happen for some time. Please try and focus on life now for what it is, not what it will be. We have made it through so much. We'll make it through again," he said the last as much for himself as he did for Merry. "Let come what may," he added in a voice no more than a whisper.
"Do you need to return to Bag End right away?"
"No, but I do need to send word to Sam to let him know I made it safely."
"Will you stay for a few days with me then? Perhaps until Pippin gets back? I really don't want to be alone right now."
"Of course. I am rather tired, after that ride. Would you send word to Sam for me?"
"Yes."
"I expect you won't tell him anything of our conversation here?"
"No. I won't tell Pippin either. I also don't think it would be wise to tell my parents."
"Indeed it would not. You understand the importance of what I have told you and that it is crucial not to do anything about it for now, but they might not."
"I'm headed to the post then. Take any room you would like and get some rest."
"I will. See you on your return, Merry."
Merry sent the letter to Sam and returned home pondering all that Frodo had said. A daughter. He was to have a daughter. This was such joyous news. But look at what the future would possibly bring her, as much danger and pain as he had endured and he could do nothing.
Frodo stayed until Pippin returned and enjoyed a visit with him as well. Frodo returned home, but he checked on Merry quite often. Leaving Merry after telling him what he had seen was going to be very hard indeed. He hoped that Merry would keep his promise and be all right without his guidance. And so passed the next four and a half months.
As they stood together at the harbor Merry finally found out exactly why Frodo had told him that he would not be the one to protect the Shire again. They were all in great shock to learn that Frodo hadn't come to tell those leaving farewell, but to leave also. Frodo went to Merry first. "Remember Merry," Frodo said so only they could hear, "let come what may." They embraced and said their farewells. Frodo then turned to Pippin. Then to Sam, giving to him the red book. Tears streamed freely from all of their eyes.
"But," said Sam, "I thought you were going to enjoy the shire too, for years and years, after all you have done."
"So I thought too once," Frodo chose his next words carefully as he needed to reassure himself as well as the others. "But I have been too deeply hurt. I tried to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me. It must often be so when things are in danger: someone has to give them up, lose them, so others may keep them."
He embraced and kissed them all once more, then turned and boarded the ship. He turned to them and smiled through his tears. They all smiled back through their tears also. He gave them a nod as if to say, "I'll see you again," and then walked to the bow. The ship set sail. Sam, Merry, and Pippin watched until they could see it no more. At last the three companions turned away, and never looking back they rode slowly homewards. They spoke no word to one another, but each had great comfort in his friends.
At last they rode over the downs and took the East Road, and then they separated. Merry and Pippin headed to Buckland and Crickhollow, Sam to Bag End, and all, as Frodo had done, to let come what may.