Disclaimer: I don't own Jag, or it's characters. I'm not doing this for money. I just got some inspiration in the middle of the night and had to get up and write it down. Don't sue.

Summary: Set right before "Ready or Not" in Season 8
Rated Adult

Truths
By TR

Mac looked up from the file she was reading, and frowned as Harm walked into her office and shut the blinds.

"Harm, what's wrong? Why don't you sit down," She offered.

He remained standing, and studied her for a moment before he spoke. "Why didn't you tell me you love me Mac?"

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but chose to answer honestly. "What good would it have done?"

"It would have put things in perspective for me."

"Harm what is this all about?"

"It's about you not being honest with me."

"What are you talking about, I have never misled you."

"But you didn't tell me whole truth either Mac."

"Some things are better left unsaid."

"Not this thing."

She sighed, "Harm how could you NOT know that I love you?"

"How am I supposed to know if you don't tell me? I can speculate, I can dream, I can hope, but I can't really know for sure unless you say something."

"What if I didn't want you to know?"

"It's obvious you didn't want me to know. What I don't understand is why."

"I didn't know how you would react."

He looked away. "You were the one who walked away from me the last time Mac. Remember? I wanted you then." He raised his eyes. "You had to have known that. How do you think I would have reacted?"

She pinned him with a hard stare. "If you really wanted me, why were you still with Renee'?"

He shrugged, "I just didn't think it was right to break up with her so soon after her father died. And then after you backed away, I didn't really see any point in it. She could stay or she could go, it didn't really matter to me."

Mac frowned, at his callused attitude. Forgiving that little flaw for a moment, she sat back in her chair.

"I see. Okay, I love you," She stated, as if to signal the end of the conversation. "Are things now in perspective for you?" She asked, turning back to the open file in front of her.

"No," He said, mild exasperation creeping into his voice.

"Okay…"

"We haven't resolved anything," He said, now thoroughly frustrated at her lack of interest.

"What is there to resolve Harm? I've loved you for years. It's nothing new to me."

He blinked at her blatant honesty. "Don't you think we should do something about that?"

"What do you suggest we do Harm?" Mac asked in a weary voice.

Harm sat down, and took her hand, his voice held a hint of entreaty. "We should be together."

Her lips parted for a split second before she pulled her hand away. "I thought every man who's ever been with me is either dead or feels like they are."

He leaned back, "you're never going to let me live that down are you?"

"Why should I? It was a cruel thing to say. And you never really apologized for it."

He looked away again. "That's because I meant it."

"What? How can you say that? You can't just come in here and tell me we should be together and then say something like that!" Her voice cracked with pain.

"Mac…Mac please listen to me," He said, his voice laden with regret. "I don't mean to hurt you."

She looked away, "I don't care to discuss this any longer Commander," She said, in a cold, official tone. "Please leave my office."

"No," He replied in a calm, but firm voice.

"No?" She stood, and pointed to the door. "Get out, that's an order!"

He stood, but made no attempt to move toward the door. Her eyes bore into his, in anger and pain. He stared right back at her, in tenderness and regret. "I meant what I said, Mac," He said firmly, holding her gaze. "Because any man who would ever let you go, would feel dead inside! Believe me, I know!"

It took a moment for his words to sink in, and she took a step back. Shock was rapidly replacing anger, and she was having a difficult time adjusting to the transition. He reached out and laid his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off, but stayed where she was.

She took a deep breath and met his eyes. He reached up and caressed her cheek. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Mac. I didn't mean to."

"Why did you even say anything like that at all? I can accept that you meant it that way, but you know that that's not the way it sounded."

"I was trying to throw him off my trail. He kept asking me whether you and I were involved. He didn't believe me when I denied it, so I…"

"You made a comment that made it sound like you would never be involved with me, because no man has ever survived the curse of Sarah Mackenzie."

He winced. "Is that how it sounded?"

She nodded.

"I'm so sorry. I meant to get him off my back and mind his own business. I didn't mean to insult you that way." He shook his head. "I wonder if that's how he heard it."

"It doesn't matter now Harm. That's how I heard it."

He sighed as he finally got an answer to his original question. "That's why you didn't tell me."

"How could I possibly tell you after that?"

Harm nodded, and took his seat. Wondering how she could possibly still love him after everything he'd done to hurt her.

"How's your perspective now Commander?"

"Getting clearer and clearer Colonel."

She once again took her seat behind her desk, and he reached out for her hand. She allowed him to take it.

Harm hesitated for a moment, screwing up his courage enough to afford her the same naked honesty as she had given him. "I love you Mac," He stated. His eyes clear and bright. "We should be together."

She didn't address his statement right away, but answered with a question. "Do you feel dead inside Harm?"

"I did for a long time. Not as much anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't have to watch you marry another man. A man you would never have been with if I hadn't let you slip away." He paused, and ran his thumb over the smooth knuckles of her hand. "I have you all to myself now. As much as you'll let me have anyway, even just as a friend. You're here with me. And so I feel alive." He paused once more and raised her hand to his lips, kissing her soft skin. When he spoke again his voice was thick with emotion. "But not nearly as alive as I would feel if I had never turned you down in the first place. I regret that day every moment of my life."

"Why?" She asked softly, encouraged by his candidness.

Harm let out a laugh. "Because we would be married by now, and living happily ever after, instead of sitting in your office trying to figure out why we don't even have the freedom to say 'I love you.' This is ridiculous Mac, I loved you on that ferry and I love you now."

She broke into a wide grin, and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "We should be together," She agreed ardently.

He met her half way around the desk, pulling her into his arms. Mac laughed into his neck. "So we would have been married by now?" She asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Yes," He answered, pulling back to look her in the eye. "Marry me now?" He proposed in a whispered.

She smiled. He always did go at everything in such a headlong fashion. "Harm I…"

Tiner's voice broke in over the intercom. "Colonel Mackenzie, the Admiral would like to see you in his office."

Mac took a calming breath. "Ok Tiner, I'll be right there."

"Oh, and Ma'am, if you get your hands on Commander Rabb can you tell him that the Admiral would like to see him as well."

"I have my 'hands on Commander Rabb' right now Tiner."

"Uh, yes Ma'am." Came Tiner's nervous reply.

Turning to Harm she said, "we'd better get in there."

"Mac?"

She reached up and rewarded him with a gentle kiss. "We'll talk about this later."

Harm nodded and held the door open for her, as they made their way to the Admiral's office.

TBC…