Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or even most of the plot. All I own are the ideas that are inside my crazy imagination.
A/N: This is from Severus Snape's point of view post HP 7. I suppose this is a bit of a spoiler so if you have not read all the way to the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I would highly recommend that you do not read this. I repeat: SPOILER ALERT. This is also probably a one shot unless I decide to go back and write the same thing from a different perspective.
Chapter One: Back in the Pensieve
Harry Potter rarely had time to himself lately. Since Voldemort had been defeated two weeks ago, the Wizarding world seemed to be spinning out of control. Death Eaters had been chased down and imprisoned or killed, the Ministry of Magic was being completely overhauled, and Harry himself had been interviewed time after time and was moving from celebration party to celebration party. He did not mind at all, however. Ron and Hermione had been interviewed with him and at one of the better parties Harry had gone to, he had reunited with Ginny.
But now he was alone. He had been forced into what Hermione called a "much needed night of quiet" and he had found himself back in the destroyed Hogwarts castle. After lying wide awake in his four poster bed for what felt like hours, he got out of bed and began wandering the corridors without any real idea of where he was going.
Where he found himself was in front of the entrance to the Headmaster's office. After a quick exchange with the gargoyle, he made his way up the spiral staircase and into the deserted office. It was exactly the same as it had been the night Hogwarts had battled.
Harry looked around the office quietly. He had been in this office so many different times in the seven years since his first ride on the Hogwarts Express and there were many different emotions tied to it. All of the previous Headmasters were snoozing quietly in their frames.
Then Harry saw the Pensieve in the same place where he had entered it on that fateful night. He remembered back to his Occlumency lessons with Professor Snape and how he had always started the lessons by pouring his own memories into this very same Pensieve.
Harry had always been desperate for any information about his parents' school days and since seeing Snape's memories, Harry had craved even more. He prodded the silvery substance with his wand and saw an image of his mother and father in a corridor together that he had not seen before. Without waiting a second longer, he plunged, face first, into the Pensieve.
Colors swam around him as he fell into Snape's memory, images swirling together as he fell. Harry remembered the last memory Snape had had of his mother as he had attempted to apologize to Lily and she had rejected him. What he was hoping to find was anything between that moment and the moment when Snape had returned to Dumbledore.
As though reading his mind, the Pensieve thumped him down in the middle of the Entrance hall. He found Snape walking in a great crowd of people though none were talking to him. His eyes were locked on a red-head fifteen feet in front of him. Her long hair was in a pony tail and she had dark circles under her red and puffy eyes. He kept his distance, knowing that she didn't want to see him, but his eyes never left her.
He hung back and walked slowly when they entered the Great Hall for breakfast and watched with narrowed eyes as she headed for a group of boys that included James Potter. Harry noticed a Prefect badge gleaming on Lupin's chest and realized that it must be their sixth year.
She tapped James on the shoulder and even though the Great Hall was full of chattering students, Lily's words carried across the Hall and to Snape's ears.
"Potter, can I talk to you?" He turned in his seat and looked at her while Sirius' face twisted into a mischievous grin. Lily seemed to have spotted this and quickly added, "outside?"
"Sure," James replied, standing up and raising an eyebrow at Sirius. He followed her out of the Great Hall and Harry watched as Snape quietly followed them both, undetected by either of them. They walked down a deserted corridor, one that Harry recognized as the corridor leading to the kitchens. Lily wasn't saying anything and James followed her silently.
Finally, she stopped and turned to him and Snape stopped dead with a loud clatter, but James and Lily did not hear him.
"You know," James started matter-of-factly, "I've fantasized about a time when you and I would walk down a deserted corridor...but somehow I don't think it's going to end the way I'd always imagined it would." Lily gave him a weak and appreciative smile as she realized his intention to lighten her mood.
"I just wanted to say thanks...I guess...for, you know...what you did last night. Yeah, so thanks." She looked uncomfortable and was refusing to look at his face but was staring intently at a stone under her feet. James was standing directly in front of her with his arms crossed over his chest but was bending his knees a bit so that he did not tower over her quite so much.
"It's not a big deal," James replied, his voice soft and comforting. Lily looked up at him and it was obvious that she disagreed. She clearly felt that whatever had happened the night before was a big deal. "Honestly, Evans, you handled this much better than I did when my parents died. I nearly destroyed our dormitory I was so upset. Honestly, ask Padfoot, I demolished his trunk...he's still missing some underpants, actually."
Lily gave an appreciative laugh and James continued, "It wasn't even a shock for me. My parents had been sick since second year...I should have seen it coming." His voice softened a bit and Snape noticed that something about James' face seemed to change. For a fleeting moment his self confidence was wiped away and he seemed human. Lily also noticed and looked as though she were seeing James for the first time in her life.
James cleared his throat and his hand jumped instinctively to his hair and rumpled it a bit before he realized it and shoved both of his fists purposefully into his pants pockets. "Did you get any sleep at all?"
She shook her head. "Not really. I may have drifted off around dawn but only slept for an hour. When I finally got up to our dormitory, Sophie and Mary were livid that you told them to go upstairs and figured I would be just as mad because you had touched me." James smiled but Harry thought a flash of anguish had crossed his brown eyes. "Then they hugged me and eventually they fell asleep but I couldn't...I just cried...all night." She paused for a moment and then added, "Obviously, that's why I look like this," Lily said, gesturing to her face.
"What on earth are you talking about?" James said, suppressing the tiniest of smiles.
"I look terrible. You can tell I didn't sleep at all."
"You're being ridiculous. You always look beautiful."
An awkward silence fell between them as neither really knew what to say next.
"Soph and Mary must have found some satisfaction when they found out that you used me as a punching bag," James said, attempting to make her laugh again. She simply grimaced.
"Sorry about that," she said. "Sometimes I can get a little...erm...violent when I'm upset." She suddenly caught sight of a purple bruise on James' forearm. "Did I do that?" she said, gently touching it with her finger.
"Oh yeah. Don't worry though, it only looks bad because you were wearing that ring. Check this one out though," he said and he lifted up the bottom of his shirt midway up his torso revealing a plum sized blue bruise on his ribs. James smiled and Lily looked horror struck though looked as though she was trying to hide a look of shocked pleasure.
"I did that?" Lily asked, looking ashamed of herself. James lifted his eyebrows at her, the smile still bright on his face. "I'm so sorry!"
"Don't worry about it...it doesn't even hurt," he lied. "Anyway, we should head back to breakfast," James muttered though he didn't really seem to want to leave, not when they were actually getting along. She nodded carefully.
"Thanks again," she said and as tears swam in her bright green eyes, one trickled down her cheek.
Without thinking, James lifted a hand to her face and wiped the tear away and pulled her into a hug. It wasn't a romantic hug or even really a friendly hug, but it was necessary and Harry saw that his mother looked as though a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders as his father's arms were wrapped around her.
Suddenly, the corridor around Harry disappeared and he reappeared in the middle of a huge crowd on the Quidditch pitch. Snape was standing in the midst of some downtrodden Slytherin's and Avery was muttering something to him but he didn't hear him at all. His eyes and attention were focused on a core of people in the middle of the pitch.
Harry realized it was the Gryffindor Quidditch team. His dad was dressed in scarlet Quidditch robes and had left his broomstick and the Quaffle lying forgotten on the ground. He was tightly hugging a blonde girl who had the Snitch tightly clutched in her hand and the other five players (Sirius included) were embracing each other.
Lily, who was wrapped in a heavy cloak and still pulling a "Go Gryffindor" banner behind her, was jumping up and down in excitement and yelling "We won the Cup! We beat Hufflepuff! We won the Cup!" Lupin and Pettigrew were jumping up and down in ecstasy behind her before Sirius came to join them.
When James pulled himself away from his team, his face jubilant and a smile stretched across his face, it seemed as thought the entire Gryffindor house was trying to run up and congratulate him. Lily however (and not by coincidence, Harry suspected) was the first to reach him.
"Congratulations!" she squealed as she jumped up and hugged him before she could stop herself. She released him but continued to jump and James' smile seemed to have become even bigger. "Those three goals you scored in the last five minutes...those were INCREDIBLE!" Lily yelled.
"I wouldn't have even had the chance if Frank hadn't knocked their Seeker off course...and then Mary...did you see that catch? The second we went ahead far enough it was over!" he replied loudly to her praises and then as Mary was carried away by a crowd of admirers, James yelled out, "Mary, you're amazing!"
James' other friends could not be held off any longer and they pushed their way toward him and Lily watched with the same look on her face as earlier, as though she had never seen him before as he continued celebrating and pouring praise on his teammates.
As Sirius came up to Lily and she jumped into his arms as well, Snape began walking away, kicking the ground violently.
Again, the scene around him dissolved and another one reappeared. They were back inside the castle around dusk. Snape was stalking through a corridor. Harry could hear angry voices coming from a classroom ahead and it looked as though Snape was prepared to walk right past them until he heard Lily's name.
Harry and Snape peered into the classroom that his parents' voices were coming from. They were both in jeans with their robes were draped over a chair in the corner. Harry noticed a Head Boy badge (that was slightly smudged) dangling from the larger set of robes and realized that this must be their seventh year.
"I'm not saying that this dueling club thing is a bad idea," his mother said, her green eyes flashing angrily towards James who was standing across the room from her, his wand held limply in his hand, "I'm just saying that I don't think a demonstration is the best way to go."
"Stop being ridiculous," James replied, equal frustration in his voice at her disagreement with him. "How're we supposed to teach 4th years how to stun if they don't know what it looks like?" Lily sighed angrily but had no retort. "Just stun me already!" James yelled at her.
"Fine!" She pointed her wand directly at him, slashed her wand and muttered "Stupefy!" without any real feeling at all. A feeble flash of pale pink light shot from the end of her wand and when it reached James it only managed to cause a light breeze to ruffle his hair.
"What was that?" James asked, pointing disbelieving at her wand. "Don't do that!"
"Do what?"
"Don't do it wrong. I saw you in Defense Against the Dark Arts today, you stunned Wormtail about twenty times before Professor Johnson made you stop. Now just DO IT!" James roared.
Lily slashed her wand, again incorrectly, and muttered the incantation and because of her fury more than anything else the spell at least managed to push him back a few steps, though he was still standing and fuming. Snape seemed thrilled at the idea of James and Lily fighting, so much so that a twisted smile appeared on his sallow face.
"I guess I forgot," Lily lied unconvincingly as James rolled his eyes and began walking towards her.
"Look, if you're afraid of hurting me, you don't need to worry," he said as he got closer to her. He was apparently attempting to keep his voice calm but was still obviously frustrated with her.
"I'm not afraid of hurting you. In fact, I'd like nothing more than to hit you as hard as I can right now."
"At least that would accomplish something," James muttered as he put his right hand over her wand hand and started demonstrating the correct wand movement. "You're doing it all wrong, see," he said more loudly. Lily's cheeks were flaming red.
"What're you doing?" she asked, her voice a little shaky.
"You said you forgot...I'm trying to jog your memory," he said, not noticing the change in her tone of voice.
"Well, get away. I don't like you standing so close to me," Lily said and pushed him away a bit. A crease formed in between James's eyebrows as he looked calmly at her. She had moved her wand into her left hand and was unconsciously shaking her right hand.
"Why not? Do I smell bad?" he asked, an air of amusement rising in his voice.
"No, you actually smell quite good," she said dreamily without thinking and her cheeks instantly darkened in color. She looked horrified that she had just uttered those words and had her mouth open as she stared at the floor. James also looked shocked, though pleasantly so. "I...I mean...you don't smell," she said lamely as an attempted cover up though it wasn't effective as she didn't make eye contact with him at all.
James absentmindedly took a step closer to her and stuffed his wand into his back pocket.
"Why exactly then don't you want me so close?" he said softly as he stepped closer to her again so that they were barely an inch apart. She was still staring at the floor and he used a finger to tip her chin upward so that she was locking eyes with him.
"I don't really remember," she whispered and then she closed her eyes and he kissed her. Her wand fell out of her hand and landed on the floor, shooting red sparks across the floor but neither James nor Lily acknowledged it as they wrapped their arms around each other.
Snape's smile was replaced by a complex look, full of both intense pain and hatred. He stood rooted to the spot and Harry recognized the feeling well. The feeling that you do not want to see what is right in front of you but you can't manage to look away or force your feet to move.
After a few moments, James pulled away from her, his thumb gently caressing her cheek. "You realize that I'm going to have to go back on my promise about not asking you out anymore." Lily laughed and pushed him away from her and bent down to pick her wand back up.
As Snape walked quickly away from the spot he had been standing, James's voice could be heard, "Now...Stun me!" Snape did not seem to hear them though as he tore across the Entrance hall and onto the grounds, tears sparkling in his black eyes.
Harry's surroundings changed again. He quickly realized where he was, though was slightly horrified to find himself in Madam Puddifoot's. Thankfully, it wasn't covered in confetti as it had when he had been with Cho. Snape was walking with a group down the main road and spotted James and Lily in the cafe. He pretended to remember something he needed to buy in a shop across the street and ditched his friends and ducked behind a rack of clothes to watch them closely.
The street was nearly deserted and other couples in the cafe were occupied with other matters so that they were in relative quiet and James and Lily's voices traveled across the street to where Snape stood hidden.
"James, this place is so cheesy. Why are we here?" Lily whined with a smile on her face as James dragged her by the hand to a table away from the other couples.
"Is it okay to want to have one romantic date with my girlfriend on our final trip to Hogsmeade as Hogwarts students?" James asked, though he didn't sound irritated, but more nervous.
"Would you call this romantic?" Lily asked skeptically as James pulled out a chair for her and she looked around. James rolled his eyes at her and she smiled. She reached across the table and took his hand. "I'm sorry...it's just, this really isn't us, is it? I just want to spend the day with you," she said softly. "That's romantic enough for me."
James seemed unconvinced.
"I heard they opened a Quality Quidditch Supplies down by the Shrieking Shack if you want to check it out," Lily said, clearly not wanting to remain in Madam Puddifoot's longer than she needed to.
"Well, unless you want to be proposed to in Quality Quidditch Supplies..." James muttered as though it were a fly away statement, though his eyes flicked up to catch her expression.
Lily's head snapped towards him, her red hair flying around behind her head. Her eyes searched his face, afraid that this was some horrible end of the year prank he was pulling on her.
"What?" she asked softly. James was smiling nervously at her and he squeezed her hand.
"I just...I realize we're just barely of age and that seventeen is a really young age to get married, but I love you, Lily, I always have. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If circumstances were normal, I'd want to keep dating and maybe get married in a few years, but who knows how much time any of us have and I want to make sure that every day I have, whether it's one more or a thousand more...well, I want you to be there."
Lily smiled gently at him, tears brimming in her eyes. James searched the pocket in his robes and pulled out a small velvet box and pushed it across the table to her. Fingers trembling, she picked up the box and opened it. Inside glinted the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. Though it wasn't small by an means, it wasn't a big, flashy stone. It was perfect.
She pulled the ring from the box and slipped it onto her left ring finger.
Then she pushed her chair out and stood up. He stood up as well, a smile playing onto his lips.
"I love you, too," she murmured because it was all she could think of to say. Then she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him, tears streaming down her cheeks.
As Sirius, Lupin, and Peter ran out from their hiding place to congratulate James and Lily, Snape spat bitterly and stalked away though he clearly felt a great loss.
The next scene Harry found himself in was a familiar one, the scene after Snape had told Voldemort about the prophecy. Harry lifted himself out of the memory and found himself standing again over the Pensieve in the round office.
He sat down in the chair across from the Headmaster's desk and looked around at the sleeping portraits. His green eyes, his mother's eyes, had fallen upon a portrait he had not noticed the last time he had been in here. In a silver frame next to Dumbledore's was a sleeping Headmaster with sallow skin and curtains of greasy hair around his face.
Harry smiled to himself; happy about having seen the decent side of his father in Snape's memories this time, having seen why his mother fell in love with him. He was also confused because he did feel sorry for Snape and grateful that Snape had loved his mother so much.
A/N: Well, I love Lily and James and if JK Rowling won't give to us exactly how they got together, I'll write it myself. I hope it wasn't confusing, especially the first one. I had actually imagined how James had comforted her in the common room and then had to figure out a way for them to say it in a way that Snape would understand it.
If you liked it, drop me a review. If you hated it, drop me a review. Let me know what you think!