It had been three months since Fergal had convinced Pamela to move in with him. It was a small house only a few miles away from the performance center, but big enough for the two of them. At the time it was a smart suggestion, as her toothbrush found a home on his sink and he'd cleared an entire drawer for her clothes in case she didn't want to fly straight home after a tour. He was overly excited at the fact they'd see each other outside of work more often that he failed to notice the uncertainty on her face when she agreed. He was overly excited that the two of them were taking a huge step in their relationship that he failed to acknowledge Pamela was fucking terrified of everything moving too fast, that he was more invested in the relationship than she was. He couldn't contain the excitement within him that came with not only working with his best friend, but he'd get to wake up next to her on off days.
Pamela wasn't one for making her personal life a topic of conversation, especially when it came to relationships. Her and Fergal had managed to keep things between them a secret from the rest of the roster until the brand split, his worries about the two of being split up on different brands with different schedules became a topic of conversation between the two of them and their friends who'd promised to keep their lips sealed until they were ready to go public. There was nothing wrong with a heat of the moment embrace when they learned they were both drafted to Raw, at least until Fergal planted one on her on impulse, much to the shock of the bystanding draftees. Pamela was sure the color had drained from her face in that moment, and it took almost an hour of reassurance from Mercedes to get her back to normal.
It was their individual takes on relationships that freaked Pamela out. She preferred to keep things lowkey; not overdoing it on the affection in public, keeping the social media appreciation of each other to a minimum, sneaking glances during practices and good luck kisses before matches. Fergal was the complete opposite; he was all for showing Pamela off in public and social media, constantly gushing about her in the locker room (enough to not drive the rest of the guys crazy), planning dates and adventures for the two of them before shows and when they weren't traveling. They always contemplated if choosing to date was a good idea, the conversation always finding a way to evolve into an argument. They always gave each other the time and space to cool off before sitting down and tackling the problem, soon remembering why they were able to make the transition from friends to lovers.
Although this time was different. Fergal usually took a walk to blow off steam and give Pamela space to breathe. This time she felt as if she was suffocating. It took her two months (almost three) to get used to the fact their relationship had become common knowledge in the locker room despite being together almost four years. She was reluctant to move in with Fergal when he brought it up a month ago, but eventually gave in when she realized how much it benefit their traveling situation. Despite moving in not just a few weeks ago, Pamela felt as if things were moving too fast. She'd kept her feelings to herself because she knew how much this meant to Fergal, but after the same argument resurfaced she found herself absentmindedly packing a bag and phoning Mercedes for a place to stay for a few days.
There was a different aura in the air when Fergal walked back to the house. Worry set in when Pamela's rental was nowhere to be found, increasing when he noticed the house was quieter than normal. There was no sign of her in the kitchen or living room, his fears confirmed when she wasn't in their shared bedroom. His fears were confirmed when he noticed the absence of her suitcase and her drawer not fully shut, but empty. There were no texts or calls that showed up on his phone, nor was there a note that would have left him with a feeling of reassurance. He knew Pamela too well to hope she'd come back in a few hours, but he'd been too wrapped up in pondering their future that he didn't think she'd walk out on him. He knew her too well to call her right that second, that she needed time to think before he could contemplate reaching out.
Pamela had already made the drive to Mercedes' house by the time Fergal called. Knowing how they usually solved arguments, her leaving felt like something out of a bad romance movie as opposed to the healthy conversation that solved things. She reassured her best friend that nothing bad was going to happen when his name flashed across the screen, taking a deep breath before answering.
"I'm safe." The brunette ran a hand through her hair as she spoke, leaned back into the couch cushions. Guilt creeped up when she heard his sigh of relief on the other end, and Fergal was holding back the urge to yell.
"Mercedes' place?" He ran a hand over his face as she mumbled a confirmation, sighing once again, "M' sorry for drivin' you away. Literally."
Pamela smiled to herself at his attempt to lighten the mood and chewed on her bottom lip nervously, "It's not your fault."
There was a short silence on the line before Fergal spoke up again, "You don't have to tell me why you left if you don't want to."
Pamela was quiet on the other line, playing with a thread on her hoodie, "I...uh.." she stared at the patterns in the carpet, "Just me overthinking everything as usual. Got scared."
Fergal paused and thought back to the events that transpired not just two hours ago, pondering over the words that were exchanged between the couple, "Is it about me asking you to move in?"
"No." Pamela blurted out, anxiety starting to wash over her, "I mean...well, yeah." She nervously pulled her sleeve over her hand before speaking again, "I'm just used to staying over before I fly back home but for some reason this feels different? I mean, you know how long it took me to get used to everyone knowing about us. I guess I still haven't gotten used to the fact we're really living together and it's...honestly terrifying."
The older man ran a hand over his head and sighed. He was angry at himself for being too excited for the both of them that he failed to consider Pamela's feelings. He remembered how worried she was when the roster learned of their relationship but how excited he was that everyone finally knew, "I should've asked if you were really ready beforehand. I was more excited at the fact I'd get to see you more often."
"I don't blame you." The brunette paused and chewed on her lip again, running a hand through her head, "I knew how happy you were about it so I didn't want to speak up and make you sad."
"Pam, you can always come to me if something's bothering you, you know that. I'm still your best friend before anything else."
The younger of the two smiled to herself and pouted as if Fergal were there to see it himself, "I know. I'm not used to being vulnerable but I'm gonna work on it."
"M' glad." He half smiled before pausing again, "You gonna stay with Mercedes for the night?"
"Yeah. I'll be home tomorrow. Just need a night to recoup."
"Pam?"
"Yeah?"
"That was the first time you said home."
