Just A Girl
Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed
And it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know
Exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me
To hold your hand
She'd been through so much.
Heartbreaks, broken promises, lies, never-ending tears, cheaters, jail, failure...the list just kept getting longer.
And, of course, the icing on the cake was that everything she'd been through had been plastered on the front cover of tabloids. So she couldn't suffer in peace, oh no; everyone else had to watch her fall apart. Multiple times.
The pictures of her in sweats, no make-up, and disastrous hair didn't help, either.
Damn paparazzi.
'Cause I'm just a girl, little ol' me
Don't let me out of your sight
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights
No one gave her the respect she sure as hell had earned.
Darius continued to try and control her and her music, although she'd admit that he had gotten better.
Liam, was just, Liam. Which was equal to major asshole.
As for her mom...who knows? She flew the coop with Don a little while ago and they hadn't spoken since. Not like she cared, though, right? I mean, it was only her mom. Easily forgotten.
Not.
Her dad was pretty good most of the time, except that he was always busy with work. Still, he gave her a really early curfew and was always nosing into her life. At least she knew he cared.
Sadie was off and on. Sometimes she treated her like dirt, other times they were the best of friends. It usually depended on how bad her period was.
Speed called her 'dude'...all the time. Enough said.
The rest of the world thought she couldn't take it. The music industry was too tough, she wasn't ready for it. They knew she was going to crash and burn. They were just waiting to watch the show.
And then there was him. He couldn't even spend thirty seconds telling her why he was leaving. Respect there equaled nada, at least in her book.
So, respect for her was seemingly non-existent.
Oh...I've had it up to here!
The moment that I step outside
So many reasons
For me to run and hide
I can't do the little things I hold so dear
'Cause it's all those little things
That I fear
The world was watching her.
Just watching and waiting for her to fall, so they could laugh in her face and chant, "I told you so."
Well, guess what?
Most days she didn't want to get up in the morning. Most days, it took everything she had to face everyone with a fake smile glued to her face. Most days, she didn't want to be her because the her everyone knew was a fake.
All she did was pretend. Pretend to be perfect for anyone and everyone. She was their toy, their puppet. She'd do anything to make everyone else happy.
Everyone but her.
So, she got up yesterday, like she did today, and like she was going to tomorrow.
And she was going to put on a damn good show for everyone.
Because they were watching her.
'Cause I'm just a girl I'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive
Late at night I'm just a girl,
Guess I'm some kind of freak
'Cause they all sit and stare
With their eyes
She didn't like the life she was living.
It wasn't her. She didn't want to be this girl, this girl that was always pretending, always being something she wasn't.
The only thing that was her was her car. And she hadn't even had that for very long. Majority of the time, though, Darius made her go places in a limo. Since "My Sweet Time" had hit number one, she began to be known as an A-list celebrity. Which really meant that the paparazzi now had every right to follow her everywhere, barely avoiding being labeled as stalkers.
Joy.
Now even more horrible pictures of her were going to grace the covers of national tabloids.
Why did everyone want to watch her? She wasn't that interesting, truly. She was just a regular teenager that happened to win a singing contest, and now she had one platinum album and most likely another one that was going to reach that honor soon.
She just wished for one day without a pair of eyes on her.
One day, where she could look however she wanted and do whatever she wanted without being judged for it.
But that was just too much to ask for.
I'm just a girl,
Take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype
They just kept watching her.
Oh...I've had it up to here!
Oh...am I making myself clear?
I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl in the world
That's all that you'll let me be!
I'm just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb
Makes me worry some
Enough.
She'd had enough.
No more pretending, no more being fake.
It was time to tell people to fuck off, it was her life and she was going to live it the way she wanted to. Even if that meant without the cameras. But she wasn't going to tell Darius that just yet. She would eventually. Not yet, though.
The world was trying to shape her into something else. She couldn't just be her.
Until now.
She was going to throw all of their rules out the damn window.
From now on, she was going to live by her rules.
No more going to parties just because her bosses expected her to. No more wearing what someone else picked out for her.
No more.
I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to is making me numb
I'm just a girl, my apologies
What I've become is so burdensome
I'm just a girl, lucky me
Twiddle-dum there's no comparison
Nothing was going to be the same.
Things were going to change, she was sure of that. She just wasn't sure where she was going to end up when all was said and done. Then again, nothing was ever completely over with her.
Unfortunately.
She just couldn't be something she wasn't anymore. Was she sorry?
For faking it all this time, yes. But for finally calling herself on it? Hell no.
The weight on her shoulders already began to feel lighter. For so long, she'd just carried around everyone's expectations. Now, it was time to figure out what she wanted for herself.
Everyone thought she was so lucky. Lucky her ass.
So, how did she feel now?
Happy?
Apathetic?
Sad?
Pensive?
Confused?
Content?
Optimistic?
Oh, come on.
Who was she kidding?
She knew exactly what she was.
Oh...I've had it up to!
Oh...I've had it up to!
Oh...I've had it up to here!
Oh, yeah.
Jude Harrison was pissed, no doubt about it.
And it felt good.