Disclaimer: I don't own Minesweeper, but I wish I did! I wonder if it counts that I own the game? Probably not, but it might! That would be so cool! Go Bob!

The Life and Times of Bob the Smiley Face Or "Why I Should Probably Be Committed to a Mental Health Institution A.S.A.P."

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"'G'Morning Bob! How're you today?" Morwen, the most definitely deranged fan-fiction writer asked the small yellow face button at the top of the Minesweeper screen. She ignored the wince that came from the face as the first square she clicked on uncovered a '3.'

"I would've been better if you hadn't gotten bored again. I was tak- " Bob was abruptly cut off as Morwen slipped and accidentally clicked on a mine. Muttering a brief apology she clicked on Bob, magically bringing him back to life and started again.

Bob growled. "I wish you would use the flags. You mess up far less often when you do." He sighed as she ignored his advice and continued clicking on the little gray squares that were his world. "Anyway, I was taking a bath when you so conveniently open the game. You have the worst timing of anyone I have ever met! Then again, you're the only one who uses this game on this computer, and you have gotten better since you figured out what exactly to do." Bob paused, sensing that if he continued Morwen may "accidentally" slip again.

After a few moments of idly watching her succeed his eyes got wider than usual. "Are you sure that you want to-" Once again, poor Bob's eyes turned into little 'X's. When Morwen clicked him back to his usual smiling self he gave her his best glare, which was a smile. "I wish you wouldn't do that. You have no idea how strange it feels to die and come back to life every few moments. The 'X's are especially strange. How would you like to be talking and suddenly get all cross-eyed and be in this little black hole."

Morwen grinned sheepishly. She thought for a moment before her eyes lit up. Bob was suddenly quite frightened. "You know, Bob. When I was wearing contacts, I almost bought some with 'X's in the middle. That would be so cool, walking around with 'X's in your eyes." Morwen continued on this tangent for a while. At least she had stopped playing for the time being. Bob tuned her out until he heard her say something about a girlfriend. ".That's exactly what you need! A girlfriend! Maybe then you'd lighten up a bit.. But then again, if you had one, you may ditch me with Marie again. I swear she is evil. That little chicky-poo of a smiley face is bad news. She won't talk or anything. She just sits there and stares. Even Napoleon on my Dad's computer is nicer, though I don't speak French so I can't understand a word he says." Morwen chose that moment, just as Bob was about to step in to begin play again. The first square she clicked on was, you guessed it, a mine.

Bob sat there in the little black void pouting. Of course it was a mine. Just when I wanted to jump in to avoid being set up on a date or hidden away forever. Bob realized that Morwen had clicked on him and was about to continue the conversation when Morwen stepped in. "I've gotta get to school Bob! I'll see you later tonight probably! Bye!" With that Morwen closed the window and shut down the computer. Bob sighed. Then floated over to his now clod bath. Refilling the tub he dejectedly got in for a nice long soak. He hoped that the day at school would cause Morwen to forget her intentions of a date for him. It was hard being a smiley face.

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A.N. Hope you enjoyed, though I have to say that not only is this the single most disturbing thing I have ever written, it is also the lamest. I need help, because most of this has actually occurred. Yes! Bob speaks to me. He's better than any other counselor I've been too. R&R if you want! I'm even considering writing a sequel. Tell me if you want it or not! Hasta!

~Morwen and her embarrassed muse, Dae