Chapter 1

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. That was me three years ago. I didn't want to find love because I was scared of it. Of course I told everyone that love was for chumps… but the real reason was- I knew it was the one thing that could hurt me. Deep down I wanted so badly to be loved. But everything around me told me that it was something I should stay far away from. Growing up with my parents that hated each other certainly didn't help. Dan and Karen Scott … worst parents you could possibly have. My mom….. half the time is drunk and sleeping with my uncle and then there was the my father…… who if he wasn't yelling at me and brother about basketball, he was gone trying to take over our home town of Tree Hill. My senior year he was elected mayor. It was then my brother and I knew that we needed to get as far away from Dan as we possible could. Duke was as far as we got. Nathan, my brother, is the only thing I like in this family. We are fraternal twins. We absolutely look nothing a like. He has dark hair and is slightly taller. But we act just alike. We were the shit and we knew it. The Scott brothers…. most popular, hottest guys in school. All the guys wanted to be us and all the girls wanted to do us. We didn't do relationships, we just moved from one girl to the next. And it was no different at Duke. Everyone knew who we were and we were having the time of our lives. Playing basketball, being in magazines, having girls throw themselves at us left and right, and getting pretty much whatever we wanted, I wouldn't have traded it for the world. Everything was great with Nathan and I till he did the one thing that we swore never to do… fall in love. In the middle of sophomore year Nathan had to get a tutor for his literature class. Haley James walked into that room with a smile and left with Nathan's heart. They have been together ever since. At first I thought he was crazy but I got to get to know her and I can see why he loves her. And it's was great for me cause all the girls concentrated on only me now. I'll admit it I was an asshole, I did what I want when I wanted it and didn't care who got hurt in the process. But that all changed. I remember it like it was yesterday. October 12th of our junior year. The day that changed my life. I woke up, but not alone. This wasn't surprising. Either I came home with someone that I picked up the night before or I would have my back up, who was always a sure thing. Peyton Sawyer, hott, kinda punk rock girl that was head over heels in love with me but all I wanted was sex from her. And in some twisted way sort of consider my friend. Sometimes we would actually hang out and do stuff but would more than likely end with sex. Turning over I can see that that was the case.

"mourning…" she said when I turned over

"hey… why are you still here? It's like 11:30" I said kind of annoyed that she was still here.

" I don't know. Thought we could hang out or something" she said

"Can't…. playing ball with Nathan." He said while pulling his boxers on.

"Well, we can hang at that party tonight?" she said getting dressed

"Look Peyton, you said you were cool with us hooking up once in awhile and that's it. I don't do relationships, so don't try and make this one ok…….. lock up when you leave." I said finishing dressing then leaving.

"So she did it again?" Nathan said while shooting the ball into the basket

"Yep. Man…… why can't she take a hint that I don't want to date her. I just want to sleep with her sometimes. That's it." I said getting the rebound

"Man I don't know what to tell you. You need to just stop it with her." He said shooting again

"Easier said then done. I have told her so many times that we aren't going to have sex anymore, but sure enough my drunk ass finds her at some time of the night and all I want is to tap that." I said with a laugh

"I don't know why you won't try and date her. I mean Peyton's hott and she's cool. She likes the same weird stuff you like. So it's not like you guys are complete opposites." He said

"Nathan the reason I don't date girls is I get bored way too easily. I would cheat on her in a week. Probably not even that long." I said

"No…… your problem is that you're scared. You're scared that you might find someone and really like them and get hurt if it doesn't work out." He said

"Whatever Nate…" I said rolling my eyes

"No that's the truth. Luke man, I know you. You come off as this hardass asshole that thinks he's the shit but deep down you are really caring and sensitive guy that's scared to get hurt. Because our parents hurt us." He said

"Look Nate I know you want to help. And I know you have this great relationship with Haley, and I'm so happy for you but love……. it's just not in the cards for me. I like being single. I like going to parties and flirting with different girls and watch them fight over me. Why would trade that for a relationship." I said

"Look man, I just want you to be happy that's all." He said

"Don't worry I am." I said

"so we hittin up this party tonight?" he asked

"Of course. Mark told me UNC cheerleaders are going." I said with a smirk

"So already planning your hook up tonight." He said

"yeah might go for a threesome tonight." I said

"Dude that is so unfair that you've had one and I haven't." he said

"Hey, just get another girl for you and Haley." I said

"Man please…. It took four months to get Haley to finally sleep with me. You really think she is going to go for a threesome." He said

"Hey it was just a suggestion." I said holding up my hands

"Whatever. Come on man. I'll buy you lunch." He said

The party was great. I found all the cheerleaders, actually they found me. Peyton of course was trying to get my attention all night, but I really didn't want to put up with her crap tonight. I was talking to these two blonde girls hoping they would come home with me later. Nathan and Haley were standing with me laughing because these girls weren't very bright. Suddenly out of nowhere I got this weird feeling in my stomach. I couldn't explain it and can't even explain it now. But it was a feeling I couldn't shake.

"Hey, Luke you ok?" Nathan said

"Yeah I just feel kinda weird. Maybe I've been drinking a little to fast. Think I'm going to slow down for awhile." I said putting the beer I had in my hand down.

"Yeah maybe that's a good idea." He said

"So Amber was it…… why are you cheering for UNC, when Duke is certainly the winning team?" I asked trying to put the charm back on. She giggled and started some story as to why she was cheering there. I stood there trying to pay attention to her and not her breast. But then I glanced up for just a second and my eyes automatically met the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. She had long silky chestnut hair, a body to die for, the cutest dimples imaginable and a smile that made my knees weak. Before I knew it she was walking over to me. That weird feeling I had was getting stronger and stronger with every step she took. And before I could open my mouth to say something to her, her lips were on mine. It only took me a second took react to it. My hand slid to behind her waist to bring her closer to me and she deepened it. I could feel her tongue asking for entrance, and I let it. Kissing her made everything in that room disappear. It was like we were the only two people in the world. I never wanted it to end. But then I felt Nathan's elbow hitting my side and him clearing his throat. I finally gave in, and pulled away.

"Wow….. Hi….uuummmm what was that for?" I asked as I let go of her, and never losing eye contact with her

"Well I had a good night and I wanted a good night kiss. And you looked like the perfect guy to give me that. So thanks gorgeous." She said then winked at me and walked away. I was left speechless with the biggest smile on me face. I just stood there not knowing what just happen. Only thing I knew was that that was the best kiss I have ever gotten. My lips were still burning. I knew I had to kiss her again. Then it hit me, I didn't know her name.

"Hey …Wait!!!!! I called and chased after her. I tried to make my way through the crowd and then I found myself outside but she was nowhere to be found. I asked a couple of people if they saw where she went but they had no idea what I was talking about. I went back inside and found Nathan and Haley.

"dude what the hell was that?" he asked

"Man I don't know, one second I was talking to you guys, then the hottest girl I have ever seen was kissing me." I said still looking for her

"yeah man that girl was fine." Nathan said then Haley hit him.

"Hey, girlfriend standing right here." She said

"sorry honey, but you got to admit that girl was hott." He said

"Actually yeah I do…..hell I'd go out with her." She said

"Yeah me too… " I said

"What… did my ears deceive me? Did Lucas Scott say he'd date a girl." He said trying act shocked

"If I got to take that home with me every night… you bet your ass I would. Man I got to find that girl." I said

"How? There are so many people at this party from different schools. We're not even on campus." He said

"I don't know man… but I gotta find her. There's no way I can go around knowing there is a girl that hott and I can't have her." I said

"alright man…. Good Luck with that. Come Hales, Let's get some food before I drive you home." He said looking at his girlfriend

"Yeah ok, but no taco bell. We had that last night." She said

"Ok. Luke you wanna come?" he said

"Nah you guys go. I going try and see if anyone here knew who that girl was." I said

"Alright…. See ya later" he said then left. I continued to look around for that girl. Instead of finding the girl I wanted, I found the girl that wanted me.

"Hey Luke, there you are. I've been looking for you." She said grabbing my arm.

"What do you want Peyton?" I said annoyed

"Well I was about to leave and wanted to know if you wanted to join me. I have vodka back at my place……" She was saying till I interrupted her

"Peyton…. Give it up already….. you know what, this thing going on between us is over. Obviously you can't handle the fact that I don't want a girlfriend." I said

"Fine Lucas…. Actually I tired of wasting my time on you. I deserve to be treated better than this. Have fun being alone." She said then walked away. After she left, I looked around for little then gave up and went home… alone for the first time in a really long time. For some reason I couldn't be with anyone else. All I could do was think about that girl. That's all I did for the rest of the night. That kiss was something out of this world. I literally felt…. Like I was flying. Man I knew I was in trouble.