Disclaimer: I do not own YGO, nor do I own this poem, NOR do I clam to own
them, so please don't sue me.
Duet: Hello! I've decided that, in the holiday spirit, I should write a mockery of "was the Night". And to help me are the YGO gang. The Yami's are not here because (1) I have enough trouble writing the others, I don't need more. (2) Can you _imagine_ them snuggling down for this? Anyway, here's the ficcie and I hope you enjoy it.
************************************************************************
//'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house//
//Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse//
Tea: Except for Joey and Tristan, who were downstairs, pigging out.
Joey/Tristan: Oi! *are insulted*
Seto: Here, eat these and _shut up_. *Tosses Candy Canes*
Joey/Tristan: *are crunching happily*
Yugi: That's not how you eat them!
Duet: Let it go this time. It won't do you any good.
//The stockings were hung by the chimney with care//
//In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there//
Yugi: Do we even _have_ a chimney?
Duet: I do! ^-^
Bakura: Don't worry about it.
Joey: I'm hoping the _piazza guy_ soon will be here!!
Tristan: Mmmm, our large pepperoni, anchovy, and pineapple piazza!
Both: *are drooling*
Tea: That is _gross_!
Mai: What? The guys, the drool, the piazza, or the fact they "borrowed" your cash to pay for it?
Tea: WHAT?!
//And all the duelists were nestled, all snug in their beds//
//While visions of Sugarplums danced in their heads//
Mai: I'm _not_ tucked into bed! Ever!
Seto: Ditto. And I've _never_ had _Sugarplums dancing_ in my head.
Yugi: Well-- I don't dream of Sugarplums!
Bakura: *is patting Yugi's head* Of course m'dear.
Joey: What _are_ Sugarplums anyway?
Tea: Fairies!
Duet: Wrong story.
Tristan: Sounds like candy!
//Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap//
Tristan: A baseball cap?
Bakura: No, a sleeping cap.
Mai: Sounds tacky.
//Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap//
Seto: And apparently didn't bother to wake it up before writing this.
Yugi: That's mean.
Mai: It also explains a lot.
//When out on the lawn arose such a clatter//
//I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter//
Mai: Still in the tacky cap?
Duet: How can you _spring_ from bed? I can barely _crawl_ out.
Yugi: Actually you spring from bed a lot when you've overslept again.
Duet: O. *is annoyed*
Bakura: And meanwhile, the oblivious Mama continues to have her winters nap.
//Away to the window I flew like a flash//
//Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash//
Seto: O.o And since when do windows have sashes?
Mai: Sashes don't look nice at _all_.
Tea: I think the meaning's different.
Bakura: *writes down "window sashes" next to "Sugarplums" on his List-of- Things-to-Look-Up*
Tristan: *as Mama* You baka! Have you torn my shutters again??
Joey: *as author* But-But-there was this _clatter_! Honest!
Tristan-as-Mama: Are you drunk again?
Joey-as-author: Hiccup! ^-^
//The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow//
//Gave a luster of midday to objects below//
Tea: Not a _word_. *is swinging her hentai-bashing-purse*
Joey/Tristan: .*are cowed*
Duet: Except it would be whiter!
Bakura: What?
Duet: The luster. Midday luster is yellowy and Midnight luster is whiter. . Bakura: Ooookaaaay.
//When what to my wondering eyes should appear//
//But a minature sleigh with eight tiny reindeer//
Yugi: But Santa couldn't _fit_ in a mini sleigh anyway, could he?
Bakura: I feel sorry for those reindeer.
Duet: Don't worry, it's magic!
All: *are happy*
Others: *sweatdrop*
//With a little old driver so lively and quick//
//I knew in a moment in must be--//
Seto: A dueling monkey.
Joey: What! You _jerk_!! *lunges at Seto*
Yugi: *is holding Joey down*
Tristan: Really? I was hoping it was the piazza boy.
Mai: I think the line goes "Saint Nick"
Tristan: Ooohhh.
//Swifter than eagles his coursers they came//
//And he whistled and shouted and called them by name//
Seto: Coursers.?
Tristan: I think you've got another for your list Bakura.
Bakura: *writes it down* Check! ^-^
//Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen!//
//On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen!//
Tea: Dancer! *is sparkling*
Mai: And Vixen too! ^.~*
Joey: *Snort*
Mai: . *slaps*
Joey: @.@ *is in pain*
Yugi: What about Rudolph?
Seto: *sweatdrop* Um, he came after the poem.
Yugi: Okay! *is happy*
Bakura: I thought it was _Donder_? *is confuzzled*(1)
//To the top of the porch to the top of the wall//
//Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!//
Mai: Dash away! *whipcrack*
Joey: O.o* Oookkaay, Mai is a _bad_ Santa Claus.
Seto: *is plaintive* Can _I_ dash away now?
Duet: Hmmm, NO! Next verse! *whipcrack* ^.^
//As the dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly//
//When they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky//
All: ..
Bakura: And that means..?
Seto: They fly over stuff that's in their way.
Others: O.o Oh
//So up to the house-top the coursers they flew//
//With the sleigh full of toys and Saint Nicholas too//
Seto: _What_ are_coursers_! *is twitching*
Yugi: Up on the house-top
Duet: Click
Bakura: Click
Mai: Click!
Joey: Down through the chimney Tristan: With Old Saint Nick!
All: O.o *are freaked*
Seto: That was _wrong_ and not the natural order of things.(2)
//And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof//
//The prancing and pawing of each little hoof//
Tea: Which would give you a migraine after a while.
Yugi: Not to mention wear and tear on the roof.
All: *nodnodnod*
//As I drew in my hand, and was turning around//
//Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound//
Joey: Waitwaitwaitwait. He had a _chimney_ in his bedroom?
Tristan: And wouldn't Mama notice the racket?
Seto: is sarcastic* _Maybe_ it's the _downstairs_ window.
Duet: You couldn't _bound_ down a chimney-no room.
Yugi: If you bound _down_.
Bakura: Super Santa. Leaps tall chimneys with a single bound.
//He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot//
//And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot//
Mai: Fur collects dirt _horribly_! Ugh.
Tristan: *whips out paper entitled "Santa's Christmas List"* 1. For people to start hiring chimney sweeps again.
Seto: A-choo! It makes me sneeze just thinking about the dust.
Yugi: Or maybe someone's talking about you.
*Somewhere, in the distance, we hear rabid Seto fangirls drooling over Kaibaboy*
//A bundle of toys he had flung on his back//
//And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.//
Bakura: *as peddler* And now for just $99999.99 you can have a brand new _car_!
Yugi: *sweatdrop* Um, no they can't.
Bakura: Oh. Oh well. ^.^
Joey: Doesn't he have a piazza box in there somewhere?
Tristan: Food.
Seto: Don't they have a 30-minute guarantee or something?
//His eyes- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!//
//His cheeks were like roses! His nose like a cherry!//
Bakura: O.O And now I have exclamation point afterspots.
Yugi: If his face is that red, his cholesterol can't be good at all.
Tea: Maybe we should leave fat-free cookies.
Joey/Tristan: Eww! *make faces*
Mai: Maybe it just matches his outfit.
Duet: Maybe he's just Irish.
Others: ..
Duet: -_-0 Nevermind.
//His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow//
//And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow//
Joey: How is a mouth like bow?
Seto: Like this. *ties Joey's mouth shut*
Tristan: I think it _might_ have been the other kind of bow.
Mai: Of course! Haven't you heard of Cupid Bow lips? Like mine?
Tea: . Show off.
//The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth//
//And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath//
Yugi: Santa has some _bad_ habits.
Tristan: Maybe he drinks too.
Joey: It would explain why he's always so merry.
Bakura: No! Santa doesn't drink anything but milk!
Yugi: And Coca Cola. ^-^
//He had a broad face and a a round little belly//
//That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly//
Yugi: Chol-es-ter-al.
Mai: There's nothing little about a jelly belly.
Tristan: Jelly Bellies? Please?
Duet: Sorry, fresh out of jellybeans.
Joey: _I_ _want_ _my_ _PIAZZA_!
Tea: Really it's _my_ piazza, since it was _my_ money.
Seto: You actually _want_ that taste monstrosity?
Tea: . Hmm, good point.
//He was chubby and plump; a right jolly old elf//
//And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself//
Yugi: So being fat automatically gets you laughed at?
Joey: That's what fatties are for.(3)
WHAMCRACKSLAM
Girls: *settle back down*
Joey: @.@ Owies..
//A wink of his eye and a turn of his head//
//Soon gave me know I had nothing to dread//
Seto: And he thought Santa might be something to dread-why?
Tea: Well, he _kinda_ looks like a clown..
Bakura: Nooo! The evil clowns!
Seto: Point taken.
Joey: Gave me know-is that English?
Tristan: English being defined as?
Yugi: Not this.
//He spoke not a word but went straight to his work//
//And filled all the stockings and turned with a jerk//
Tristan: What about under the tree?
Bakura: Egad!(4)
Others: What?
Bakura: That's why the tree presents are all from Parents, because-
Bakura/Yugi/Duet: -Santa only does _stockings_!
Others: *sweatdrop*
//And laying a finger aside of his nose//
//And giving a nod up the chimney he rose//
Tristan: I wonder if that would work?
Joey: *walks over and tries it* WOOSH!
Others: O.O!
Yugi: *runs over and pulls Joey back out*
Joey: *coughcough* Never try that at home.
//And he sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a whistle//
//And away they flew like the down of a thistle//
Tristan: Down of a thistle.?
Yugi: Like Dandelion fluff.
All: Ohhh.
//But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight-//
Voice From The Sky: Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!
YGO Gang: *Run over to window*
All: Oooooh!
Yugi: It's Santa!!
Seto: Santa _is_ real_! O_O!
All: *in awe*
************************************************************************
(1)- The site I got the poem off of _actually_ had a site page for the debate on Donner/Donder. And people say _I_ have no life.
(2)- I don't own this line. Xander says this after the Buffy gang sings the theory song for the "Once more with feeling" episode. (Bunnies!)
(3)- *ducks blows from angry Joey fans* He's not this mean I know! I lurve him too, but I needed to have _someone_ say it. I also don't condone the teasing of fat people, as I am rather chubby myself.
(4)- No, I'm not making fun of his accent. I was just watching "Pinky and the Brain", so. Egad! Zoinks! NARF!! *cackles*
************************************************************************
Ta-da! I hope you all like this! Some parts were better than others. O. Well, please review! Have Happy Holidays! ^.^
Duet: Hello! I've decided that, in the holiday spirit, I should write a mockery of "was the Night". And to help me are the YGO gang. The Yami's are not here because (1) I have enough trouble writing the others, I don't need more. (2) Can you _imagine_ them snuggling down for this? Anyway, here's the ficcie and I hope you enjoy it.
************************************************************************
//'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house//
//Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse//
Tea: Except for Joey and Tristan, who were downstairs, pigging out.
Joey/Tristan: Oi! *are insulted*
Seto: Here, eat these and _shut up_. *Tosses Candy Canes*
Joey/Tristan: *are crunching happily*
Yugi: That's not how you eat them!
Duet: Let it go this time. It won't do you any good.
//The stockings were hung by the chimney with care//
//In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there//
Yugi: Do we even _have_ a chimney?
Duet: I do! ^-^
Bakura: Don't worry about it.
Joey: I'm hoping the _piazza guy_ soon will be here!!
Tristan: Mmmm, our large pepperoni, anchovy, and pineapple piazza!
Both: *are drooling*
Tea: That is _gross_!
Mai: What? The guys, the drool, the piazza, or the fact they "borrowed" your cash to pay for it?
Tea: WHAT?!
//And all the duelists were nestled, all snug in their beds//
//While visions of Sugarplums danced in their heads//
Mai: I'm _not_ tucked into bed! Ever!
Seto: Ditto. And I've _never_ had _Sugarplums dancing_ in my head.
Yugi: Well-- I don't dream of Sugarplums!
Bakura: *is patting Yugi's head* Of course m'dear.
Joey: What _are_ Sugarplums anyway?
Tea: Fairies!
Duet: Wrong story.
Tristan: Sounds like candy!
//Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap//
Tristan: A baseball cap?
Bakura: No, a sleeping cap.
Mai: Sounds tacky.
//Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap//
Seto: And apparently didn't bother to wake it up before writing this.
Yugi: That's mean.
Mai: It also explains a lot.
//When out on the lawn arose such a clatter//
//I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter//
Mai: Still in the tacky cap?
Duet: How can you _spring_ from bed? I can barely _crawl_ out.
Yugi: Actually you spring from bed a lot when you've overslept again.
Duet: O. *is annoyed*
Bakura: And meanwhile, the oblivious Mama continues to have her winters nap.
//Away to the window I flew like a flash//
//Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash//
Seto: O.o And since when do windows have sashes?
Mai: Sashes don't look nice at _all_.
Tea: I think the meaning's different.
Bakura: *writes down "window sashes" next to "Sugarplums" on his List-of- Things-to-Look-Up*
Tristan: *as Mama* You baka! Have you torn my shutters again??
Joey: *as author* But-But-there was this _clatter_! Honest!
Tristan-as-Mama: Are you drunk again?
Joey-as-author: Hiccup! ^-^
//The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow//
//Gave a luster of midday to objects below//
Tea: Not a _word_. *is swinging her hentai-bashing-purse*
Joey/Tristan: .*are cowed*
Duet: Except it would be whiter!
Bakura: What?
Duet: The luster. Midday luster is yellowy and Midnight luster is whiter. . Bakura: Ooookaaaay.
//When what to my wondering eyes should appear//
//But a minature sleigh with eight tiny reindeer//
Yugi: But Santa couldn't _fit_ in a mini sleigh anyway, could he?
Bakura: I feel sorry for those reindeer.
Duet: Don't worry, it's magic!
All: *are happy*
Others: *sweatdrop*
//With a little old driver so lively and quick//
//I knew in a moment in must be--//
Seto: A dueling monkey.
Joey: What! You _jerk_!! *lunges at Seto*
Yugi: *is holding Joey down*
Tristan: Really? I was hoping it was the piazza boy.
Mai: I think the line goes "Saint Nick"
Tristan: Ooohhh.
//Swifter than eagles his coursers they came//
//And he whistled and shouted and called them by name//
Seto: Coursers.?
Tristan: I think you've got another for your list Bakura.
Bakura: *writes it down* Check! ^-^
//Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen!//
//On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen!//
Tea: Dancer! *is sparkling*
Mai: And Vixen too! ^.~*
Joey: *Snort*
Mai: . *slaps*
Joey: @.@ *is in pain*
Yugi: What about Rudolph?
Seto: *sweatdrop* Um, he came after the poem.
Yugi: Okay! *is happy*
Bakura: I thought it was _Donder_? *is confuzzled*(1)
//To the top of the porch to the top of the wall//
//Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!//
Mai: Dash away! *whipcrack*
Joey: O.o* Oookkaay, Mai is a _bad_ Santa Claus.
Seto: *is plaintive* Can _I_ dash away now?
Duet: Hmmm, NO! Next verse! *whipcrack* ^.^
//As the dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly//
//When they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky//
All: ..
Bakura: And that means..?
Seto: They fly over stuff that's in their way.
Others: O.o Oh
//So up to the house-top the coursers they flew//
//With the sleigh full of toys and Saint Nicholas too//
Seto: _What_ are_coursers_! *is twitching*
Yugi: Up on the house-top
Duet: Click
Bakura: Click
Mai: Click!
Joey: Down through the chimney Tristan: With Old Saint Nick!
All: O.o *are freaked*
Seto: That was _wrong_ and not the natural order of things.(2)
//And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof//
//The prancing and pawing of each little hoof//
Tea: Which would give you a migraine after a while.
Yugi: Not to mention wear and tear on the roof.
All: *nodnodnod*
//As I drew in my hand, and was turning around//
//Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound//
Joey: Waitwaitwaitwait. He had a _chimney_ in his bedroom?
Tristan: And wouldn't Mama notice the racket?
Seto: is sarcastic* _Maybe_ it's the _downstairs_ window.
Duet: You couldn't _bound_ down a chimney-no room.
Yugi: If you bound _down_.
Bakura: Super Santa. Leaps tall chimneys with a single bound.
//He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot//
//And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot//
Mai: Fur collects dirt _horribly_! Ugh.
Tristan: *whips out paper entitled "Santa's Christmas List"* 1. For people to start hiring chimney sweeps again.
Seto: A-choo! It makes me sneeze just thinking about the dust.
Yugi: Or maybe someone's talking about you.
*Somewhere, in the distance, we hear rabid Seto fangirls drooling over Kaibaboy*
//A bundle of toys he had flung on his back//
//And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.//
Bakura: *as peddler* And now for just $99999.99 you can have a brand new _car_!
Yugi: *sweatdrop* Um, no they can't.
Bakura: Oh. Oh well. ^.^
Joey: Doesn't he have a piazza box in there somewhere?
Tristan: Food.
Seto: Don't they have a 30-minute guarantee or something?
//His eyes- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!//
//His cheeks were like roses! His nose like a cherry!//
Bakura: O.O And now I have exclamation point afterspots.
Yugi: If his face is that red, his cholesterol can't be good at all.
Tea: Maybe we should leave fat-free cookies.
Joey/Tristan: Eww! *make faces*
Mai: Maybe it just matches his outfit.
Duet: Maybe he's just Irish.
Others: ..
Duet: -_-0 Nevermind.
//His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow//
//And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow//
Joey: How is a mouth like bow?
Seto: Like this. *ties Joey's mouth shut*
Tristan: I think it _might_ have been the other kind of bow.
Mai: Of course! Haven't you heard of Cupid Bow lips? Like mine?
Tea: . Show off.
//The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth//
//And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath//
Yugi: Santa has some _bad_ habits.
Tristan: Maybe he drinks too.
Joey: It would explain why he's always so merry.
Bakura: No! Santa doesn't drink anything but milk!
Yugi: And Coca Cola. ^-^
//He had a broad face and a a round little belly//
//That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly//
Yugi: Chol-es-ter-al.
Mai: There's nothing little about a jelly belly.
Tristan: Jelly Bellies? Please?
Duet: Sorry, fresh out of jellybeans.
Joey: _I_ _want_ _my_ _PIAZZA_!
Tea: Really it's _my_ piazza, since it was _my_ money.
Seto: You actually _want_ that taste monstrosity?
Tea: . Hmm, good point.
//He was chubby and plump; a right jolly old elf//
//And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself//
Yugi: So being fat automatically gets you laughed at?
Joey: That's what fatties are for.(3)
WHAMCRACKSLAM
Girls: *settle back down*
Joey: @.@ Owies..
//A wink of his eye and a turn of his head//
//Soon gave me know I had nothing to dread//
Seto: And he thought Santa might be something to dread-why?
Tea: Well, he _kinda_ looks like a clown..
Bakura: Nooo! The evil clowns!
Seto: Point taken.
Joey: Gave me know-is that English?
Tristan: English being defined as?
Yugi: Not this.
//He spoke not a word but went straight to his work//
//And filled all the stockings and turned with a jerk//
Tristan: What about under the tree?
Bakura: Egad!(4)
Others: What?
Bakura: That's why the tree presents are all from Parents, because-
Bakura/Yugi/Duet: -Santa only does _stockings_!
Others: *sweatdrop*
//And laying a finger aside of his nose//
//And giving a nod up the chimney he rose//
Tristan: I wonder if that would work?
Joey: *walks over and tries it* WOOSH!
Others: O.O!
Yugi: *runs over and pulls Joey back out*
Joey: *coughcough* Never try that at home.
//And he sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a whistle//
//And away they flew like the down of a thistle//
Tristan: Down of a thistle.?
Yugi: Like Dandelion fluff.
All: Ohhh.
//But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight-//
Voice From The Sky: Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!
YGO Gang: *Run over to window*
All: Oooooh!
Yugi: It's Santa!!
Seto: Santa _is_ real_! O_O!
All: *in awe*
************************************************************************
(1)- The site I got the poem off of _actually_ had a site page for the debate on Donner/Donder. And people say _I_ have no life.
(2)- I don't own this line. Xander says this after the Buffy gang sings the theory song for the "Once more with feeling" episode. (Bunnies!)
(3)- *ducks blows from angry Joey fans* He's not this mean I know! I lurve him too, but I needed to have _someone_ say it. I also don't condone the teasing of fat people, as I am rather chubby myself.
(4)- No, I'm not making fun of his accent. I was just watching "Pinky and the Brain", so. Egad! Zoinks! NARF!! *cackles*
************************************************************************
Ta-da! I hope you all like this! Some parts were better than others. O. Well, please review! Have Happy Holidays! ^.^