"Oh! Eugene Fitzherbert! This is ridiculous!"
"What's ridiculous?" Eugene asked, barely looking up from his book as Rapunzel stepped past him gently bouncing a screaming newborn.
"I wasn't talking to you, you silly oaf!" She snapped back at him. Eugene put the book down on the table and looked at her with a slightly amused look in his eyes even if the look on his face didn't dare betray it.
"Well it was my name first - and your ... idea to use it again." He said defensively, censoring himself from using the word silly because he liked his head where it was - thank you.
"Oh, I'm sorry,Eugene." She whined back. "It's just that I insisted on taking care of the baby completely by myself today, no help from my mother or the maids; but he won't stop crying!"
"Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll say that that proves he's my son."
"Oh, Eugene, stop it! You don't whine."
"No. Not usually, anyway." He stood up and started rubbing her shoulders. She was still achy and uncomfortable from the birth and now even more sleep deprived then ever. He felt bad that he never woke up to his baby crying so he could at least do the physical act of getting up and getting the baby even if he wasn't the one that would stay awake, but then Rapunzel usually had him in bed with them anyway. "You tried feeding him?" He asked, making sure that his tone assumed that she had.
"Yes. Feeding him, rocking him. He won't go to sleep, and he's just as tired as I am! Eugene, it isn't even ten o'clock! I can't be a failure of a mother before noon!" Eugene was standing behind her still, smiling away, shaking his head. Poor Rapunzel had never even seen a baby three years before, or knew they existed for all he knew.
"Did you try changing him?" He asked. That was one thing he had done for her at night when she was sleeping, swiping the baby, changing his pants and sneaking him back... he had been a pretty good thief back in the day - still had that touch though he never thought he'd be using it on his own children.
"Eugene, I hardly think he cares that much about his clothes."
"His diaper, dreamer." He said with his face in her hair, rubbing her lower back.
"Oh." She answered, coloring slightly. The thought hadn't crossed her mind, and he probably was a little soggy. She started unwrapping him as she brought him to the changing table and laid him down. He was still busy throwing his tantrum and didn't seem to care any more or less that she was undressing him. His legs were bent up stiff in baby rage. Rapunzel cooed at him and shushed him while she grabbed a clean diaper and unpinned the dirty one and then she just stood there. Eugene had been watching her and when he saw her pause he was suddenly worried. Maybe there was something wrong. He stepped over quickly, not sure what to expect, but Rapunzel just had a frown creased into her brow looking at the two diapers. Eugene wasn't sure whether he should laugh or feel sorry for her. Sure she had seen many babies since she had returned, but theirs was the first one she had ever taken care of, unlike Eugene who had changed more than a few diapers in his time. He watched her; she looked like she was hoping for the best and started folding the diaper in the same shape as the other one, didn't see where that was going, and folded it again differently, lifting his little butt up and sliding the diaper underneath. She had that at least. But she couldn't get it, trying and trying and trying, Eugene rather amused until he saw tears starting to sprout in her eyes just - because. The frustration of it all, and she was tired and she just couldn't figure it out, the baby was still screaming - she forgot that Eugene was watching her. Rapunzel felt like she was just about to start bawling. She was a woman! It happened! His arms suddenly came around hers. He kissed her forehead and leaned down toward the changing table where Eugene junior (his dad just called him Flynn) wasn't sure if he should be looking around or screaming, so he was doing both. Eugene folded the diaper around the right way and pinned it tightly - not the way that the maids insisted on doing it, the way he had devised in the orphanage - when you would rather not have a diaper coming off or leaking.
"There's your problem." he muttered, glancing at the wet diaper. "I swear those maids tie a dozen knots in the diapers. How do they expect them to hold water - ummm, last for any time." Rapunzel laughed, which made him happy since she had been crying before.
"You know they think the same of you, only I think it's more marvelous that you can do it."
"Ha! are you kidding? Back in the orphanage, I was the best diaper changer they ever had. " He pricked himself with one of the pins since Rapunzel's hands were in the way, but he gasped a little and shook it off. He didn't really want to put his finger in his mouth at the moment.
"Lost your touch a bit since then?"
"Huh? No! That, my darling, is something that you never lose. No, you get pricked all the time - especially once they start squirming - because you should always have your fingers in the way so you don't poke the baby."
"Oh. That's probably best."
"There you go." He said, kissing her. He put his hands on her waist with his thumbs rubbing her back while she dressed the little bugger. " Not so bad."
"No." She assented. A slight smile lit her face and she leaned back a little into his chest, clearing her throat . "Eugene Fitzherbert; diaper-buckling rouge!" She proclaimed. Eugene chuckled, kissing her hair.
"And richest man alive." He added softly.
"Not too bad with the ladies..."
" I think we'll leave it at that!" Eugene protested quickly. Rapunzel laughed, somewhat enjoying his embarrassment.
"But I really doubt that I've got it on the first try." She added, a little flustered.
"I'll teach you later." He shrugged. She nodded, wrapping the final folds of the blanket around their son and cradling him in her arms.
"Well I can guess what he wants." Eugene muttered, watching him turn his head in, his mouth opening at the warm blankets around his head. "That's what you get for all that screaming." Eugene said, leaning toward the baby and speaking in mock accusation.
"Eugene, how are your legs feeling right now ?" She asked without looking at him.
"How are my - what are you - 'xcuse me?" He blurted, rather confused and reddening at the ears.
" Hmmm? Oh, sorry. Baby Eugene wants to take a nap, but he wants me to sit in your lap so we both stay warm while we're sleeping." She told him quite matter of factly.
"While I read you Shakespeare?"
"Or sing. Or you can do both. I love how you do the character voices." Eugene shook his head and turned to sit in the larger armchair, grabbing his book from the other table and position his legs so they wouldn't fall asleep - too fast. Rapunzel had started nursing the tiny prince already before she nestled into her husband. Eugene gazed wonderingly at them both, at the baby filling his tiny mouth as full as possible with his hands clutching his mother. He loved watching them together, but it rarely happened that he could be around. Leaving the palace formal affairs or any affairs to watch his wife nurse the baby wasn't kosher - Of course neither was Rapunzel's insistence to nurse the baby completely on her own, but no one would stand in her way for that. Her mother and father had been deprived of her childhood, they could not take a moment from her. The warm, beautiful smell of the baby, of Rapunzel and her clean, fresh skin wafted up and enticed him while he nestled his face into her neck and kissed her.
"You're not reading." She whispered.
"Hmmm?" He answered like he was walking out of a trance. "Of course not. I've got a better story right here."