This comes from a few things I came across on Pinterest. Not sure how far this will go but let's see.

Meeting are never fun, well unless you know exactly how to drive it off course and crash it head long into a tree. It's exactly what America has in mind for the day and he knows exactly who the get to help him. So as he sits quietly pretending to listen to his boss he gets his plans into action.

But before he can text anyone he gets one simply asking, "Hey wanna come over and smoke some?"

Quickly he texts back with a small smile, "Can't I'm in a meeting but I can after."

"McDonalds or White Castle?"

"Dude do you even have to ask?"

"Taco Bell it is."

America smiles as he looks up to make sure no one's watching, "But dude can it just be us? Cheney's not fun…" He presses send before he realizes what he wrote, "I mean he's a buzzkill it totally has nothing to do with what happened."

"Chill Alfred I know what you meant. See you soon." And with that his phone goes silent again. It's a shame most still think of his last boss as an idiot when in reality he was one of the better ones he's had. Slightly crazy but that's what made him so fun, but weed and tacos will have to wait until after this meeting is over. So he looks over at the Vice President as he tries to keep his eyes open. Again he takes out his phone and quickly texts a long detailed meme than presses send.

The Vice looks down before trying to stifle a laugh just as his boss looks over, "Alfred put the phone away this is important for our country and for you."

"I so get it dude I mean Mr. President. I was just asking Joe a quick question." America says with an innocent smile as the Vice President nods.

"Oh?" His boss says crossing his arms over his chest not amused by the two's antics, "And what was it, another one of your strange fanfictions involving you and George Washington?"

America lets out a gasp, "What do you mean strange? Dude they are awesome."

His boss just sighs as he returns to his power point. America on the other hand is just getting started as he now turns his attention back to his phone now seeing that not only is Biden answering back but giving him ideas for another story. He can't help but look up wide eyed, "Dude that's so dirty!"

"Alfred!"

"Oops…my bad." America says smiling weakly, "I mean it sounds like it might get dirty?"

"Do you even know what I was talking about?"

"Yeah…"

"What then?" His boss glares as most of the room turns to him, "And don't look down at your phone."

In a flash the nation clears his voice, "You were talking about how the people don't trust us well their government. Hell most still think the government caused a lot of our national disasters."

"What?"

"Hell they're right with half of it, I mean the government did experiment and make LSD as a kind of mind control substance."

"Alfred-"

"But it's like we did everything, sure there's a lot we hide but it's for their own good but than other things we spill out in hope of not getting-"

"Alfred!"

America stops, "Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"But…"

"Alfred."

"But…"

"Alfred I mean it."

"But I didn't have sexual relations with that woman."

The next thing he knows he's sitting in the hallway with a wide grin on his face and a new text on his phone, "Hey bring me back some tacos." He answers back a yes before looking up at the secret service men around him.

"So boys should we go?"

One looks down at him confused, "But Sir you're supposed to stay here until you can behave and return to the meeting."

America lets out a laugh as he stands and walks away, "You must be new dude." He winks back, "I'll bring you back a few for the next meeting."