The Road To Happiness

Part I

Rated: M

This story is set in New Moon. Alice convinces Bella to follow her to Italy to save Edward. They barely landed in Italy, when Bella receives terrible life changing news. Her mother was killed in an car accident. Bella decides to go to Jacksonville immediately, instead of going any further with Alice. She asks Jake for help.

Follow our favorite couple as they deal with guilt, grieve, and painful memories. Slowly their friendship turns into more...

~~oOo~~

This story was written for the Tricky Raven 3rd Annual Author/Artist Silent Auction. LuvinJ was our winning bidder. She wanted us to write her a story set in New Moon and here is her story prompt to us:

When Bella went with Alice to rescue Edward, Renee was killed in an accident rushing to the airport to come to Forks to look for Bella when she took off to Italy. With immense guilt, Bella flies back, no interfering with Edward, and she cuts off the Cullens.

She flies down to Florida to pick up her mom's things and to drive her car and belongings back to Forks. She asks Jake to come with... (life is short. Her mom's death proves it and also life and family matters) and ends with them making love at a hotel the last night outside of Forks with promises of a new life together.

LuvinJ, we hope we captured well what you wanted to have in this story, we are truly hoping that we did you justice. Thank you for putting your trust in us! We love ya, girlfriend!

This fabulous Banner was created by the ever wonderful and very patient Mist! LuvinJ, we hope you'll love it as much as we do!

Also, another thank you to Mist for her great pre-reading and beta skills, your comments were invaluable and appreciated. Hugs!

As far as the storyline goes, we adjusted a couple of things we thought would work much better with our storyline:

We got rid of imprinting. Imprinting is ridiculous.

Bella and Jake's relationship had developed a bit more than in the books. When Alice showed up at Bella's doorstep Jake and Bella had shared a dinner date and there was no almost-kiss in Bella's kitchen, but a real kiss….

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~~oOo~~

Jake kicked, slammed and pounded the first thing that came across his way. Guess his bike was history now-as well as a few large trees have seen better days.

Looking down at his bloody knuckles for just an instant, he rolled his eyes and continued pounding and cursing in frustration. He just could not believe she had gone off to Italy to save that fucking leech.

They had just shared their first real kiss in her kitchen last night. Her tiny body molding into his as she bravely took his mouth, reached her arms around his neck and buried her fists in his hair. Her declaration that she was going to prove to him that she cared very much and that she was going to show him right now, had taking him by surprise but he would have never told her as much.

He thought about how their tongues had been dancing with each other's, tasted each other, exploring deeper than he thought they would. Oh, her sighs and sweet moans still fresh in his mind. This was their first experience and it could not have been sweeter.

Damn, he knew that they belonged together, he was right for her, they were right for each other. Shit, he wanted to have her forever. It seemed at the time that all his wet dreams of her had come true at last. Shit, he should have known better, he thought, as he continued on his destructive path. Hope, such a big word and look where it had fucking brought him. He was kicking the shit out of his belongings and moping like a fucking loser, while she'd run off to Italy, and right into the fucking vampire kingdom. For what? Stopping a dead tick from becoming even deader?

His thoughts turned back to when he had fished her out of the ocean. He had been so frightened he thought he would lose his shit. He could not lose her dammit.

This reckless cliff jumping adventure gave her some well needed awareness of her selfishness and she finally started to think about Charlie and what it would have done to him if she had succeeded.

Gosh, she sure knew how to piss him off, he thought again. He was so through with Bella, he continued thinking, furious with himself and with her. After everything they'd shared, the very same day she's promised him to stop acting rash and selfish she'd actually gone with this crazy pixy without a second thought. What was he? A damn pushover? Her fucking lap dog that came running wagging his tail as soon she deemed him to be good enough for her? He snorted a sarcastic laughter as he grasped the irony of that thought.

This was it! He wasn't going to play along any longer.

~oOo~

The wolf that shared his mind and body grumbled in discontentment. It couldn't comprehend his teenage boy's train of thoughts.

Things were that much simpler for the wolf. It knew what it wanted and it knew that the spirits had chosen Isabella Swan for himself. It didn't care if there was a treaty or not. It would have just killed the leech on sight if it were up to him and be done with it. Would have saved them all a lot of trouble.

This girl was some trouble, yes, on this the wolf agreed with his human. But then, she was worth it. The wolf had and would never back down from trouble, especially when it came to her. Somehow trouble just heightened the thrill and made them want her even more, like it was with a good hunt, the wolf mused.

The boy still had some growing up to do, but mature he would soon enough, he was sure of it. The wolf sensed it, instinctively knew this boy would grow into a proud and strong warrior and Alpha like each of the wolf's warriors before him.

So for now the wolf remained silent.

~oOo~

Bella was so nervous she kept biting her nails. Her stomach was clenching just as nervously. Looking out of the window was making everything just worse. It made her aware how she was going further and further away from home, leaving behind a terribly worried father and... Jake.

It was awkward sitting beside Alice after all this time, she just now realized that something had changed. Also, Alice had left her as well, not only Edward, and she had acted pretty strange ever since she showed up at Charlie's house. Her eyes had glazed over two hours ago, and Bella had asked her frantically if it was Edward. If they were too late already. She had said no, but Alice still kept staring at her strangely. Alice was weirding Bella out, and they still had one more hour to go until their landing in Firenze.

The long flight gave Bella time to think. Too much time to think, because she started to realize that she might have made a huge mistake. This thought had settled into the pit of her stomach and she could not shake it, the further she got away from home the more uncomfortable she felt. How was it her business anyway now to go after Edward and try to save him? He had left her after all. He had told her he didn't love her anymore. She was making a fool out of herself again, and she thought that she was over that now.

How did she end up here and how did it happen so fast? One minute she had been kissing Jake, and she had enjoyed it much more than she thought possible. His heat, the softness of his tongue and his taste was intoxicating. She had been ready to finally give them a chance, then the phone rang which Jake had answered and then came Alice telling her that Edward was about to kill himself.

Had she lost all of her common sense now?

How could she be so stupid agreeing to follow Alice right into Volterra? So yeah, she was still hung up on Edward, clinging to the memories and feelings of her first love. But really? Going there could easily end up with her getting killed and what for?

Now that she had time to think she also realized that she should call her father right after they had landed. How could she have run off so quickly without a thought of the people who really loved and cared about her? Charlie would be so worried by now. And her mom, she would need to call her mom too and tell her that she was okay and would come back soon.

Jacob.

Bella groaned, remembering the look on his face when she drove off. He had been so disappointed, so angry, so... hurt when she had ignored his plea to stay. He had worked so hard trying to help her get better, and she'd simply run off after her ex. She had tossed Jake aside like yesterday's news. Had done no better than Edward to be honest. Way to ruin a friendship, Bella Swan.

Guilt was making it hard to breathe all of the sudden. The sinking feeling in her stomach was getting worse, heightening the sense of impending doom. She had acted irrationally and wasn't she just promising Jake yesterday after this terrible cliff jumping scare that she would change? That she was done being selfish and would think about people who truly loved her?

No! She couldn't go with Alice. She needed to get back home!

She should let Alice do the saving thing. Alice would be faster without her anyway and Edward could read his sister's mind and see that she wasn't dead. No need for her to go-

"Bella?" Alice asked imploringly. She touched her hand and looked at her with huge, concerned eyes. Her hand felt unnatural, being that icy cold and hard as stone.

"We need to save Edward. You know that, right?" Alice stared at her with what seemed like a commanding and rude fashion. Her unblinking eyes were creepy in a way Bella had never been aware of before. Was spending so much time with Jacob finally rubbing off on her?

However, Bella found herself nodding in agreement with Alice's insistence. Yes, it was imperative that they went after Edward and stopped him from killing himself.

~oOo~

As soon as the plane landed, Alice took her arm rather roughly and dragged her to the exit. "We need to hurry Bella. There is no time to wait. Edward needs us," she called out.

Bella felt the buzzing of her phone in her Jeans pocket and pulled it out, stopping Alice this time dead in her track.

"No, Bella, we don't have time for calls right now," Alice urged her on.

Her phone started ringing again and she saw Charlie's number.

"I have to take this, Alice! It's Charlie!" Bella insisted, shrugging out of Alice's hold, or rather trying to since Alice held on much too tightly. "You're hurting me, Alice!"

Bella hit the answer button while struggling in Alice's hard grip. Alice finally let go of her arm as Bella listened to the news, which changed her world forever.

~oOo~

She sat back on an airplane heading to Jacksonville, hoping, no praying that time was on her side.

She had left Alice to her own devices. Saving Edward from his own stupidity wasn't her concern any longer. She had more important things to consider now.

Charlie had been very quiet on the phone at first, then started crying, and the words he quietly spoke shattered her into a million pieces. She could not even reply in any coherent manner. In fact she suddenly could no longer breathe.

How could this be? Why did this happen? Not her mom, oh please not her mother. Panic settling in and a scream build in her throat.

Her mom had been fatally injured in an terrible car accident when she had been rushing to the airport to fly out to Forks. She had been speeding in Phil's brand new Mustang and lost control over the car.

The sobs came on hot and furious as the realization of what Charlie had said registered in her brain. Her mom was no more.

'Your mom was killed instantly, Bella. She felt no pain.' His words were still ringing in her ears. She would never be able to forget them.

It only took one look at Alice's face right then and there, and Bella had realized that Alice had seen what had happened to her mom. She had known for a while and hadn't bothered telling her. She had preferred keeping Bella in the dark and dragging her towards Volterra. She'd even tried to convince Bella by dazzling her.

"How dare you, Alice? How could you... Leave and never ever come back!" Bella had screamed at her. "We are done here! Do not ever dare to contact me or my family again! None of you! I mean I am done with the Cullens."

Shocked, angry and feeling desperate she knew that she needed to fly back home right away. She left Alice standing where she was and rushed towards the ticket counter.

"Char-, Dad, I'm in Italy", she frantically spoke in the phone again, as fear was gripping at her heart. She started to feel nauseated. She really needed to get to her mom somehow and very quickly. "Can you book me a flight to Jacksonville? I need to be with mom now, please, Dad!"

Twenty minutes later she was lucky to board a flight back home, thanks to Charlie's quick acting and getting her a ticket on an emergency basis.

Sitting in her seat now, she was overwhelmed and exhausted. She felt like crying, but the tears wouldn't come and the big lump in her throat hurt as much as her heart. What had she done? Her mom was killed in an car accident while she ran off like that to Italy... No, it simply couldn't be true. She had to be ok. She just had to be... She couldn't be dead and gone?! The guilt Bella felt, was tremendous.

She had lost her mother, and it was because of her stupidity and recklessness. She could never speak or hug to her mom again and tell her how sorry she was. The pain surrounding her heart felt unbearable.

What now? How was she supposed to live with the knowledge that she was the reason her mom got killed. How could she ever look Charlie in the eyes. She was without a doubt a terrible and selfish person.

Charlie had tried to calm her and told her to fly straight away to Jacksonville to help Phil with all the arrangements.

What does she need to do? Where should she go to the hospital or the mortuary?

Charlie had told her that Phil told him that Renee insisted on coming out to Forks as soon as Charlie had told her what had happen. According to Phil, she would not listen to any reason and tossed some items into a bag and left to the Airport with his car.

Phil had called him yesterday, and explained what had occurred. Word had spread like wildfire, everyone knew except HER! Well, she had to ran off to save a lost cause, and could not be with Charlie when she was damn sure, he had needed her when such tragic news came from Jacksonville. But then, if she had never left Forks, Charlie would have never received such news. What had she done...

Suddenly, she felt deeply ashamed of herself. She failed her own family and for what?!

How could she do such a thing to her family and... her thoughts shifted toward Jake... How could she run away from Jacob like this?!

Jake had been such a genuine friend and she knew without a doubt that he had truly her best in mind. She missed his comforting arms around her right this moment.

~oOo~

She could not stay at her mom's house. She preferred to check into a small B&B down the street. She needed to call Jake. Quickly she dialed his number.

She had all night to think about everything and made the decision that she wanted and needed Jake with her. She would beg him if she had to.

She knew without a doubt that she'd hurt him yet again and she must try to make him understand how truly sorry she was. She so needed her friend to deal with what she knew was coming.

Gruffly, Jacob answered the phone on the third ring, asking her first thing if she was ok and he wanted to know if she was alone or if this leech was with her.

"I'm alone, Jake," she said while she started to pace her small room.

"I'm so sorry about your mom, Bells," Jacob spoke, his voice sounding worried through the speaker. "Where are you?"

"I'm at a B&B. I couldn't stay at my mom's house without her being there..." Without warning hot tears suddenly burned in her eyes.

"I know, honey, but you have to be strong now for your mom's sake," Jacob said, his voice firm but patient and soothing at the same time. It was exactly what she needed. "Do you have the address where you need to go this morning?"

"I am gonna call your dad and check how he is holding up. He's been out of his mind worrying," Jacob reasoned.

Tears filled her eyes again and Bella cried only harder at his words. "I will never forgive myself, Jake, for leaving the way I did. How could I do that to him... to you... to all of you?"

"We'll talk about this later, Bella. Taking care of your mom's affairs right now it's more important than anything else at the moment."

"I know, and Phil has already made funeral arrangements, but he wants me to go through her things."

Bella heard voices in the background of Jacob's phone. "Who is there, Jake? Is it my dad?"

"No, it's Sam and Old Quil. We're going to arrange Harry's funeral too..." Now Jacob sounded really sad. He sighed, and it brought on even more of Bella's tears. "I gotta go, Bella. I'll call your dad now and let me know about your mom. I'll be here for you."

They ended the call after Bella had promised that she will call her father again and then call Jake back in a couple of hours.

~oOo~

When Charlie Swan got out of his cruiser in front of the Black's house, his feet dragged and he felt weary. They were about to bury Harry Clearwater this afternoon, one of his closest friends throughout all those years.

Across the country, he knew, funeral arrangements were made for the love of his life and former wife.

Losing both Harry and Renee and having his only daughter run away once again had sucked all energy out of him.

He should have known that with the Cullen girl back in Forks, trouble was looming. He'd seen the hopeful eyes of his daughter whilst praying that this Edwin guy would stay far, far, away. Had he known that Alice Cullen would drag his Bella off to Italy, he would have never allowed her to stay over at his house, let alone let her spend any time with Bella.

When he came home last night, Jacob had been sitting on his porch, looking crushed and beyond angry. He'd barely been able to inform him that Bella ran off with Alice Cullen, before he had stormed off into the woods. Normally, he would have gone after Billy's kid, but he'd been too concerned about Bella, and the Quileute boys had practically grown up in the forest and they knew how to help themselves.

So he had called his ex-wife instead and talked to her. She knew her daughter and he desperately needed to vent just a little. He had been very upset with Bella's latest stunt. Renee had insisted to come to Forks and wait for her return. She had planned on talking some sense into their daughter as soon as this ex-boyfriend of hers would have brought her back home, and he's better bring her home, she had said.

Maybe it would have been wiser not to call Renee. No Shit, he thought, he should have remembered that she'd always overreacted a great deal. How was he supposed to know that Renee would be so rash and now he had to explain this to Bella, he kept on thinking.

He grabbed his keys and drove to LaPush. There was something he needed to discuss with Billy.

"Billy?" He called when he entered the Black's house. "I need to talk to you about something. Do you think I could borrow your boy to help out my Bells?"

Billy wheeled himself into the entryway. "Depends, Charlie. Jacob is still very upset about your daughter's disappearing act. What do want him to do for Bella?" Billy asked protectively while leading his friend into the kitchen.

"Guess, I need to ask your boy too, but Phil gave Renee's car to Bella and she'll need to drive it here." Charlie rubbed his face tiredly as he plopped down into a kitchen chair. "I really don't want her driving on her own. I can't go to come back with he with that Biers kid missing and his parents breathing down my neck."

"You want Jake to fly out to Florida and let them drive back here?" Billy pulled two cans of beer out of the fridge and placed it in front of them. "Can't pull him out of school for that long."

"I know, Billy, but your boy has been so good for my daughter, and she could really need her best friend right now. She feels so darn guilty about her mom's death. I'm afraid that she might relapse to her zombie days..."

Billy agreed that Jake needed to be with her for more than just one reason, but he put on a show for Charlie at first, he did not want to make it that easy for Charlie either, especially since he did not know about certain worries Billy had. After all, there was still a chance that one of those Cullen leeches showed up and he would not have that, but how could he tell Charlie without giving away too much?

This is not the first time that he hated how he was forced to lie to his best friend, and he knew if Charlie was ever to find out they'd been lying to him all those years, even when it involved his daughter, there would be hell to pay.

~oOo~

"If the situation wasn't so serious, I wouldn't go down to Jacksonville," he'd mused defiantly to his dad after Charlie had left. "I begged her to stay and she left me for that leech anyway."

"I don't think that right now is the moment to hold on to grudges, son," his father had said, helping him sort through his feelings. "Look, I'll take care of the school business for you. I'll talk to the principal, but you gonna have to work twice as hard when you get back, you hear me, son?"

"I know that, Dad and I will. I do want to be there for her." Jacob struggled with feeling guilty for still being upset with what Bella did to him while her mom had just been killed.

"Yes, Bella needs you right now. You need to get over yourself and man up, Jacob," his father had said to him. "You know how it was for you when your mom died. You can help her through this better than anyone."

"I know that too, Dad," Jake spoke, feeling a deep sense of sadness. He did indeed know very well what it was like. "I know that she needs me right now, and I need to protect her as well it's just...I just feel horrified that she left me like this."

"Son, you went through a lot but, wait to talk to her, and don't make your own conclusions quite yet. Do you really know why she left?" This gave Jake something to think about. He knew that he was going, there was no other way, plus he needed to see her very badly.

"Tomorrow morning is Harry's funeral. After that I am leaving for Jacksonville," Jake had said with conviction.

"Will you be alright without me, Dad?" Jacob frowned. His father got along quite well on his own for one day or two, but Jacob hadn't left for more than two days in a row. The trip from Florida back to La Push would take much longer. Who would help his dad with his daily activities? Shit, he also still needed to talk to Sam. When he told his father, Billy had informed him that he already gave Sam the heads-up, but Sam expected him to come see him ASAP in any case.

"OK, I will go over there, but first things first. Normally I'd just ask Sue to take care you, but not this time.." Jacob blurted out. "I will ask Embry or Sam..."

"Hold your horses, son." Billy chuckled. "I'll be alright without you for a while. Besides, Charlie owes me one for letting you go on this trip. Can't wait to see his face when I ask him to give me a sponge bath." Again, Billy laughed, but Jacob noticed his father's sorrow over losing his lifelong friend. Everyone missed Harry Clearwater a great deal.

In the end, Jacob's need to see Bella and help her through these hard times was stronger than the worry he felt for his father. His wolf might have had something to do with it.

~oOo~

Bella got a message on her phone. It read; "Got to Edward in time. Alice"

Bella typed back a curt; "Fine."

Her phone vibrated with a new message coming in. "I'm truly sorry."

Bella deleted the message and blocked Alice from ever contacting her again.

~oOo~

Jake had called Bella from the Airport in Seattle that he was on his way to be with her.

As soon as she heard the news, relief had flushed through her and there was nobody else she would want to be with right now.

Less than fifteen hours later, Jake sat across from her in her motel room, studying her face quietly.

After her conversation with Charlie, Bella felt indeed a little better. Oh, he was mad with her, no question, but the death of her mom out-weighed his anger over her disappearing act. They would deal with that later, he had promised.

Charlie had agreed to help Bella by getting Jake there. He did not want her alone right now either and he could not make the trip himself. Charlie had booked a last minute fare for Jacob to Jacksonville.

~oOo~

She continued to go through her mom's belongings, sorting out what she'd want to keep and what she wanted to give away. She had spent several hours crying and realizing how short life truly was. Too short to waste it away so foolishly. She started to recognize how precious and fragile life is. Why was it so hard to see that before, she had mused in between sobs.

She had felt alone, so utterly alone doing this daunting task, yet, this alone time was needed. She needed to sort through her mind as well. It was really amazing, she mused, how much had changed in such a short time. She began to look at several past events in her life in a different way.

Edward had slowly but surely faded into the background. She no longer felt that she depended on him or needed him, much less that she wanted to become a vampire.

This realization stopped her effectively in her track. She never thought this possible, after months and months of mourning for him, but after a few more minutes of contemplating and taking stock of her feelings, she was certain of it.

She knew without a doubt, that Jacob Black, her personal sun... he had a big part of it in her change of heart. Jacob embodied life itself, and she wanted to live indeed.

What did she truly want in life? She continued musing, she had so many questions and she intended to discuss some of those with Jacob and she would spend much more time for herself figuring things out. She had many amends to make. She only hoped that the people she hurt would eventually be able to forgive her.

"Mom", she spoke quietly, "I love you so much..."

Phil was grieving in his own way by closing himself off from everyone, and she was respecting his decisions. Who was she to judge anyway? Bella felt relieved all over again that Jake had agreed to come and stay with her until they both went back to Forks together in her mom's car.

~oOo~

After several more hours of sorting through her mom's things, she finally sat down on the couch for a while, drinking the tea she had brewed a few moments ago. She could not make herself eat anything yet, but the herbal tea was soothing her insides.

In her lap sat a small shoe box which held dozens of pictures. She quickly rifled through the box. Right now it was too painful to really have a look at all the pictures. Pictures of herself as a baby and toddler. Pictures of her father holding her infant self. Pictures of her mom and dad together, happy, smiling, enjoying life.

Underneath those pictures Bella found a stack of pictures with a black ribbon tied around it. She carefully opened the ribbon and the pictures she found took her breath away. She never knew, but obviously her mom had been very good friends with Sarah Black before she had left Charlie and Forks. Those pictures were labeled: Fun at First Beach with Sarah, Summer 1985, shopping trip to PA with Sarah and Sue, March, 1986, Billy and Sarah's wedding, 1985.

Then there was a letter, and when she started to read, big mournful tears fell down Bella's face. It was a letter from Sarah asking Renee why she had left without even saying goodbye to her and without waiting for Sarah's new baby to be born. From the envelope Bella pulled three more pictures, all of them showing baby Jacob in his mother's arms.

As sad as the pictures and the letter were making her, Bella knew she had found a treasure and that Jacob would be very happy when she would give those pictures and even the letter to him.

For now, she put the box away. There would be a time for those pictures, but not right now.

She would pick up Jake from the airport in another hour, and her stomach ached up a little just thinking about him. She felt pretty bad too all over again for running off with Alice.

Purposefully, she forced herself to stop thinking about it right now and rushed into the bathroom to take a look in the mirror. Her face was blotchy and her hair a mess. Quickly she splashed cold water on her face and brushed her hair with long fierce strokes. That should do it, she thought as she slipped into her shoes, took her purse and car keys.

Thirty minutes later, Jake walked out of the gate, looking both mad and relieved to see her. Cautiously he embraced her, not really knowing how to react. He'd seen the pain and sorrow all over her face, the loss of her mom had to have rocked her to the core.

He could not help himself, mad or not, this girl desperately needed him right now and he would be the shoulder to lean on for her no matter what.

Bella melted into him, buried her face deeply in the side of his neck and silently cried like a baby. They stood there for a long time, until he noticed that the crowed was already thinning out.

"Thank you for coming, Jake. I owe you for this and I know I owe you a whole lot more by now." She sat there looking at him with red rimmed eyes from crying.

Jake did not respond right away. He did not know how right this moment. He was tired, drained and starving. The recent events were nagging at him.

"Bells, I need to get my bag. Come on, baby. Let's go," he spoke softly and Bella only nodded in agreement.

Bella handed him the car keys as soon as they reached the parking garage so he could drive them back to Renee's place.

They sat in the kitchen together and Jake ate the sandwiches that Bella had made for him.

"What's new?" Bella asked tiredly. She felt mostly numb still, yet she was for some crazy reason overly aware of him at the same time. She knew that he was mad, everything about him radiated irritation and sadness, but she also saw sorrow in his eyes.

"Leah killed the redhead", Jake answered her question. I guess the leech didn't expect her to burst out of her skin right at the funeral." Jacob laughed humorlessly. "Stupid bitch tried to sneak up on us trying to catch us unawares."

"Bad thing is, Charlie knows now. He knows everything. Expect to be grounded for life when you get home, Bella."

Jake went on and talked for another ten minutes, but the elephant in the room grew larger by the minute. He was still mad at her and she did not blame him one bit.

"How long do you think you need to stay here to sort things out Bells? The Service will be tomorrow afternoon right?" Jake inquired. She shook her head in confirmation. "It's at 11:00am" she simply stated.

"Sam is giving me no longer than a week to 12 days tops; I just want you to know that." Jake had put his arm around her a few moments ago, and she was not shivering as much now and she simply leaned her head on his strong shoulder, closed her eyes and nodded in acknowledgement.

"Okay, Jake! I am really glad that you are here with me." Her head turned upward as she was trying to gauge his mood. "So you have told me many times already, Bells. I am here to support you, no matter how mad I get at you sometimes. I am still always going to be there for you. Remember my promise, honey?"

And remember she did, which only made her feel worse again. He is a much better friend to her than she ever was to him. She was hoping to change that. He deserved so much better.

"I know we will be driving your mom's car back," Jake interrupted her thought process. "Are you sure Phil does not want it, given that his Sportcar is totaled?"

Bella flinched, but told him that she was sure.

"I am starving, Bells. Can we please get something to eat soon?" The comment came so suddenly at the same time as his stomach loudly grumbled and Bella could not help but laugh at him.

"You just ate three sandwiches, Jake. Are you serious?"

"Okay, let's go," she said quickly before Jake was able to say anything further. "I need to leave this house for a while anyway. It's really difficult being here, Jake. I never thought I would have to deal with something like this. Life can be so cruel and I am starting to realize that it can be just gone... in a blink of an eye. It hurts so much, Jake." Bella crawled up in Jake's lap to find his warmth and comfort and his strong arms completely encompassed her small frame. Regardless of his own feeling, he was going to give her what she needed most right now, a real friend.

"We can go to the diner right across the street," she spoke into his chest. She felt secure and warm at this moment and really wanted to stay like this for the rest of the day, but after another fifteen minutes, Jake's stomach growled once more so she decided it was time to take care of him and his huge appetite. Slowly got up and walked to the bathroom to comb her hair again and wash her tear-dried face one more time as well.

"Yeah, it's good to get outside" he said as they crossed the street to Dani's Diner. "I also thought that we could talk about the next few days a little. It will be a long ride home and I wanted to make sure that you take care of everything here first before we hit the road."

~oOo~

Renee had left a Will which said she didn't want to be buried somewhere and she wished that her ashes should be scattered into the ocean or on a beautiful meadow.

The next morning, everything that Bella wanted to keep of Renee's things were stored away or stacked in Renee's car.

Phil, Bella and Jacob went to the mortuary to pick up her urn. The body had already been cremated, and the ashes were placed in a beautiful white ceramic container.

Bella's legs gave out under her when Phil put the white urn in her hands, but Jacob wrapped his arms around her quickly for support and was holding her upright.

"We will find a good place for your mom," Jacob said to her. When she looked up at him, Bella saw through her own tears that he was crying too. The pain was almost unbearable, but Bella was glad in any case to hold her mom's urn close to her heart.

Without a doubt, she would have never been able to go through any of this without Jacob's support. He has been her rock; he kept holding her up and constantly spoke reassuring words into her ear. She also could clearly see that he was in tremendous pain himself, remembering all too clear the loss of his own mom.

Slowly all three of them left the mortuary and walked into the sunshine. The warmth immediately encased them and it felt good. A group of kids skitted by laughing loudly at something unknown to them and it reminded them how carefree life used to be for them. Both Bella and Jacob were forced to grow up too fast and Bella reminded herself that she brought on lots of heartache to herself.

For her mom's sake, she vowed to slow down, enjoy life and appreciate the people who she loved dearly, and she would be a better friend to Jacob, that she was sure off.

They reached the car holding each other's hands and placed the urn on the backseat of the car, Phil walked behind them, as he started joking that they better buckle the urn in good so that Renee won't fall off the seat! They all had to laugh a little through their tears, and were super careful buckling Renee in.

They said their goodbyes and left for their long road trip back to Forks.

~oOo~