Distraction, that's what I needed. Some time. Just a place where I can go to forget. But I can't. I had an addiction. Even if it was somewhere loud, It would distract me from this horror.. Something else. Something I could realize how stupid I am to give in. Something I could rely on. Heh, I don't even know what I was addicted to anymore. The Triptocaine or the ARI.. It had spoiled me, and it was all I really had. I wish I could just go somewhere. Just.. away.
The dream was over, That'd never happen. Back to work, yes.. work.. That's all I really had now, at all, really. Norman took off the black shades from his face and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion.
He was mentally kicking himself. Come on.. this isn't the guy who everybody counts on, no.. have to work..
He picks up his shades. Before putting them on, he was sort of staring at them. As if they had ruined his life, as if staring down an enemy.
I can't take it anymore.. He put them back onto the desk and turned around in his chair, his face resting in his palm. I need to face the real world, I don't need to change anything.. I just need to.. accept reality, instead of changing it.
He sighed, knowing he wasn't being honest to himself, he knew he couldn't drop it that easily.
He spun around, putting on the shades of lies, and the glove that comes with it.
The environment suddenly changes. A forest or so. ARI had access to the entire FBI database. He lifted his gloved hand into the air and spun it around gently. Revealing files and information on his previous cases. Like he was trying to reassure himself that he was still the good guy he was before, as if he was trying to make sure those cases were real, if it was his imagination. He couldn't tell what was real or what was fake anymore.
He swung his other hand to scroll through the cases, and there was a knock on the door.
He took off his shades and turned to the door. "Come in," He said with a soft voice. "door's open."
The man who came through the door was his boss, Clark Moore. "Ah, Agent Jayden.." He said, a hint of cheer in his voice. As if he finally find the guy he was looking for.
He sighed under his breath.
"Hey Lieutenant." He whispered under his breath. He bowed his head lightly, and extremely softly. He wasn't really happy, he knew it was time for a new case. At least it was another distraction. A distraction for another lie.
Tripto didn't have to be that bad.. I mean.. Lieutenant gave it to me.
"We have another case for you." He said. Why was this not a surprise..
"What is it..?" He said, crossing his arms, concentrating has hard as possible.
"All we know is that it was a woman.. a woman pressed up against a wall as if she was sleeping, no stab wounds, no signs of struggle.. nothing.. It's like he cleaned the place twice. There's no evidence anywhere.. We would have found it way later. But the witness went to get groceries before finding her, while on the way to his car, he saw her. He assumed she was some hobo and passed it off as nothing.. Then when he saw her still there.. same position, and went to check her pulse, and she didn't seem to have any."
He clenched his jaw, urging himself to grit his teeth. No, not in front of him.
"We're sending in someone to help you tomorrow, you and your partner can check the scene then." He said, as if he was starting to doubt him.
"I don't need help. I work alone just fine. Hell, I work better alone!" He said, slightly angered by the fact he didn't trust him. He was starting to doubt the fact he cantrust himself anymore, and ARI was just a disguise for that.
"That's not what I mean.. they've just recently been transferred here and you're the only one working on a serious case.. I'm sorry if that offends you.. That's not really a way to address your Lieutenant." He explained.
"N-no.. sorry.." He said. He grabbed his shades and walks to the door. "If you don't mind, I'm going to leave early.. especially if I'm only going to need to work tomorrow.." He sighed, hands in his coat pocket.
"Go ahead.." They both walked off.
He opened the door, a small apartment, so basic, he placed his shades on his nightstand, putting his hands in his coat pocket again, pulling out a clear vial with blue substance in it.
What am I doing..? It isn't worth it.. I can't keep doing this to myself, I just.. need to get in control.
He suddenly got a headache. Placing his hand on his forehead and letting out a groan. He stood up, barely being able to keep himself up, he stumbled and kept himself up with his stumbled into the bathroom, throwing the Tripto into the toilet, and flushing it. He stumbled into the shower and turned it on, sliding down the wall of the shower. "Look at yourself, Norman.."
I just need a distraction.. Then everything will be better.