It was empty on the edge of town, wind blew softly amongst the trees. Few firebugs skittered around the empty farm road. Sara wasn't sure why she had chosen this place, what it was about it's desolation caused her to return here many times. Perhaps it was the loneliness it plagued her with, this would explain the uneasiness the girl drifting slowly beside her caused.

"Sara, it's gorgeous out here. I never knew this place existed this close to the city." Sara smiles, watching the brown eye'd girl glow under the pale moon light. Time seemed to have stopped, it was if she was floating across a tear in space.

"I, I love it out here," she laughs with uncertainty, "it helps me think. Which is half of the reason I brought you out here, Tegan." Sara shifts her weight, her palms are sweating. She can't remember a time she's been so over-come with nerves, almost unable to walk. She continues to watch Tegan, a choked smile creeping upon her vacant lips.

"I wrote you a letter," Sara pulls it from her coat pocket, "You have to promise me you won't talk about it until you're back home in Vancouver. Although, I'm doubting you'll want to talk to me at all. Don't worry if you, that's too be expected." Tegan raises her eyes brows, taking the letter from Sara's hands. She glances over the envelope momentarily, her smile fading away much like the ambitions Sara had longed this night would create for her as Tegan's eyes were forced upon the letters contents.

It wasn't long after that they returned to Sara's apartment deep within Montreal's core. They didn't share many words, what was there to say? Sara had rendered Tegan speechless, unsure of how she could even begin to ask questions of Sara's writing. She sits up much of the night, tears falling from her eyes. What had she done to cause Sara so much pain? Tegan shifts in the bed, her eyes tracing the shadows moving on the wall. She thought she had taken great care of her younger kin, always there to lick her wounds when ever they came about.

Sure, Tegan had gone to Sara often about the girl she loved back home, but Sara had never shown any indication this had bothered her. Tegan remembers Sara even going as far to say she knew the nagging pain Tegan endured, spending many of her nights chasing an unreachable star she was sure had been meant for her. Looking at it now, Tegan could tie the connection together.

Although the letter was filled with what many would call and infestation of sickness, Tegan could think nothing more of the shared feelings that ached in her belly. Tegan used to think love as an easy definition, a feeling which immersed one in deep longing for another person. But after tonight, she couldn't even begin to grasp what it was- questioning if her own relationship was Love or Want.

So, the next day she returned to Vancouver without so much as a goodbye and began to think her life over, trying with desperation to put her feelings into justifications that were logical.

Sara watches the calender, marking a bright red X through the 23rd. It's been exactly three months since the last time Tegan had spoken to her. Sara thought it would be funny to play a game with her self, counting the days, hours, and minutes since the last time the two had spoken. So far it had been 90 days, 1 hour, 36 minutes and 14 seconds, she felt proud she had learned in a months time to make such calculations on whim.

She sits down at her kitchen table, going over a few charts faxed to her from work earlier that morning. Everything floated over her head, her mind preoccupied in everything but her assistance mindless drabble. Sara had worked at her company for almost five years, earning herself a spot high on the scale of the 8 or so other graphic designers belonging to the corporation, she was well aware of her dead lines and upcoming projects with out a community college drop-out informing her every five minutes. Sara sighs, deciding a cup of coffee was the antidote to cure her persisting pessimism.

She turns on the coffee pot and moves to the living room to indulge herself in one the many books laying on her coffee table. She leans back into the couch, flipping idly through it's pages until the soothing drip of the coffee pot slows a stop.

She felt an intense rush of mundane thought flow through her, for a moment she feels exhausted even thinking of walking to the kitchen. Her breathing feels laboured, to blink is a chore. Her thoughts have moved from her present state again, drifting outwards onto sweet memories of her first visit from Tegan.

She had always hated coffee, repulsed by it's flat taste. Yet, she would seem to burst at the seams to make Sara a cup. She even went as far as to fret when Sara commented (jokingly) on how much sugar the eldest twin had added. Upon reflection, Sara had noticed Tegan had done everything centered towards her to perfection. She craved the need to please Sara with everything, always basking in the approval she had received.

Sara sighs, she had concluded years ago their relationship was dysfunctional. What was a few more nails in the board? It's a few moments before she regains her composure and pushes herself to the kitchen. She wipes the stray tears off her cheeks, pouring the hot liquid into a deep mug. While grabbing the milk she's interrupted by the echoing alarm on her phone. She shrugs it off, assuming it's her work. This happens three times before her aggravation becomes too much, and Sara answers with a snappy "Hello?"

"Oh, uh. Hi Sara. This sounds like a bad time. Maybe I should call back. Infact, I think I wi-"

"Tegan?" Her heart skips a beat.

"Yeah.. hey." Sara feels over whelmed, a new sense of joy filling her core. "Look. It's been awhile. I- I'm sorry," Sara can hear the stiffness and strain in her words, she's crying, "It's stupid, and you probably have to work, but I'm up in Vancouver for the week. LB had to fly out with magazine she's shooting for. I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to come and hang out. I-I-I miss you..." Her lips twist upwards, tangible tears now spilling over her hazel eyes.

"Oh, Tegan. I'd love to. I'm sure I could arrange a few more vacation days."

"A few more," Tegan's taken back, "what do you mean, a few more? You never miss work." Tegan can visualize Sara's shrug, her awkward smile shrouding the real reason. Her heart falls from her chest.

"It's.. been rough."

"I know, Sara. I know. But hey, listen; I got to get back to filing this paper work for when I get back. Lets say I can expect you on the 25th?" Sara smiles, that would be Wednesday.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Well, then that's great. We'll see you then. Have a good day Sasa."

"You, too, Teetee."