Hello! So, that last chapter of Motionless was really hard for me to write. I needed a bit of a break. On a lighter note, it's refreshing to write Elphaba's dialogue without having to put ellipses between every word!

So, as I said in the description, this story does deal with sexual assault. It doesn't happen, but it's talked about. If you're triggered by that, this story might not be good for you to read. This story will still be here when you're feeling better.

But for the rest of you, enjoy!

An Assaulting Encounter

One Shot

Hi. My name is Colfax Manige. I'm twenty two, and I've been in the Gale Force since I was eighteen. My dad made me join, claiming I was a "playboy" and "lazy." I'm not lazy. I just think that you should actually live while you're young. But my knocking up Dad's colleague's daughter was the last straw. Off I went to training camp, which sucked ass. Captain Tigulaar is absolutely merciless! He makes us run the length of the Palace every Ozdamn day! Doesn't he want some guys ALIVE to capture the Wicked Witch? And oh yeah, Captain Tigulaar is freaking OBSESSED with capturing the Wicked Witch of the West! Every day, he's like, "Alright, men. We're going to go out there, and we're gonna find that Witch! We gotta find her. We gotta help Oz; you hear me, men?!" We've all memorized his little speeches. But to tell the truth, I DON'T want to capture the Witch! Now, don't get me wrong, she's an evil old cunt who needs to be captured; I just don't want to be the one to do it. She's fucking scary, you know! With that green skin and everything, like, how is that even natural?!

So, one day, I was patrolling the Gilikin Forest with the other members of my troop: Cavelish, Sponge, and Holdan. They're a cool bunch of dudes. I like that the Gale Force has really small troops. It lets us get really close. So anyway, that day we had decided to split up; Cavelish and Holdan were roaming the woods, looking for Animals, and Sponge and me were guarding our patrol carriage. It was as hot as hell. "Whew," Sponge said, wiping his brow. "I'm dying! Where're our water rations?"

"Cavelish and Holdan took them all," I answered, groaning. "But don't worry. They're gonna buy us beers when we get back to the EC."

"Yeah, I could go for a beer," Sponge agreed. "Hell, when we get home, I wanna get wasted as fuck! You in?"

"Hell yeah! Like I said, all drinks on the water thieves."

"Except I bet Cavelish will only have, like, two drinks."

"Yeah. He's such a goody goody. You know what we should do? We should put-…" But I didn't get to finish my evil plan, because Cavelish himself came running up to us.

"Manige! Sponge!" he exclaimed breathlessly. "You won't believe the haul we have! Any guesses what we caught?"

I thought for a clock tick. "A Lion?"

"Nope!"

"A Tiger?" Sponge guessed.

Cavelish laughed triumphantly. "Nope again! You guys are bad guessers. Holdan! They both failed! Bring her over!"

"Alright!" Holdan called from behind the trees. We heard some moderate struggling, a frustrated female groan, and then Holdan snap, "Come on, Witch!" Hold up, did they actually capture the …? And sure enough, Holdan emerged from the trees, dragging the Witch by the arm. I subconsciously took a step backward. I mean, she was handcuffed and everything, but still, she could have been able to turn us all into frogs. And she did not look happy!

"Son of a bitch, let me go!" the Witch growled, still struggling fiercely. "Let me go or I'll hex your balls off!"

Cavelish chuckled. "Is that so? I don't think so, Witch." She desperately tried to get to get away from him as he reached into her beg and pulled out a big-ass book. "I think His Ozness will want to see this." He casually tossed it into the carriage as the Witch gasped in horror. "Let's load up, guys."

Sponge and I were all too happy to let Cavelish and Holdan handle the Witch, who was still trying to escape! Ozdamn! Holdan forcefully sat her down on one of the benches. "Sit. Try any funny business, and His Ozness might not even have to kill you. That clear?"

"One quick question," the Witch said. "Does getting the hell out of here count as 'funny business'? Because, let's be honest, going to the EC was not on my to-do list for today, and I really think-…"

And then Holdan actually slapped the Witch! I admired his guts! "You shut your pie hole, Witch!" That managed to shut the Witch up. Her scary demeanor fell away, and she looked kind of stunned. Holdan gave a satisfied nod, and went to the front of the carriage to get the horses going. As we started our journey south, I took in the Witch. What surprised me most was that the Witch was not the old hag she was often described as. She looked to be about my age, with a chiseled face and long black hair that spilled out from under her hat. Dare I say, if it wasn't for that awful skin, she would have been almost pretty! Ozdamn, am I really so horny that I'm attracted to the Wicked Witch of the West? I'm sick; I need help.

"So, guys," Sponge started. "While you were, like, capturing the Witch and stuff, Manige and I were taking about going out once we get back to the EC. We originally thought about making you two pay for drinks because you hogged all our water, but hey, you guys captured the Witch, so drinks on us."

"Thanks, man," Holdan said. "But I don't think it'll be just us celebrating tonight. I mean, we got the Wicked Witch of the West! We'll be fucking heroes! They'll be a party in our honor, I bet."

"Yaaas," I agreed. "I could use a party. 'Cause, you know, I haven't gotten any since I've been in the Gale Force."

Sponge clapped me on the back. "Well, fear not, because that's about to change for all four of us. Girls will be throwing themselves at our feet! It'll be awesome! Maybe even Cavelish will get someone!"

"Yeah, maybe I will," Cavelish said thoughtfully. "I think I deserve it!"

"Finally!" Sponge exclaimed. "Of course you deserve it! You're entitled to any girl you want, dude! But a little advice: some girls need some persuasion, so you might wanna give them a little something to get them loose, if you know what I mean."

"I know what you mean," I said. "Once a girl's wasted, she'll always say yes. Guaranteed." And believe me, I knew that from experience.

Suddenly, the Witch spoke up from behind us. "Okay, you do realize that's rape, right?" We all turned to look at her, hoping she would lose her nerve and shut up. But she continued, "I mean, you know that alcohol impairs someone's judgment, right?" When we kept staring at her, she let out an exasperated sigh. "Drunk people can't consent to sex! What you're planning to do is a crime that would probably get you all kicked out of the Gale Force and put in Southstairs. With me."

"Shut up, Witch," Sponge said, annoyed. "Besides, you won't be in Southstairs for very long. His Ozness wants you burned, Witch!"

The Witch chuckled. "Well, good! I don't want to be in Southstairs with you creeps!"

"So, anyway," Holdan said. "It's pretty much a given that we're all getting laid tonight. We totally deserve it."

"And wouldn't it be great if Captain Tigulaar stopped being a sloth and actually showed up to a party for once?" I mused. "All those scandalatious rumors about him, and all he does is work us into the ground. It doesn't make sense."

"Man, I don't care if Captain Tigulaar's there. But I hope Lady Glinda shows up!" We all whooped in agreement.

"Lady Glinda is so hot!" Sponge gushed. "I mean, that ass, those boobs … I'd give anything to get my hands on her!"

"Hey!" the Witch piped up, yet again. "That's my fr-… mortal enemy, yes, but that doesn't mean I want her assaulted by you four! Honestly! Sweet Oz, you all are shallow! Women are not meant for your stupid 'pleasure,' so get the hell over it."

Sponge turned to her. "Witch, I'm pretty sure I told you to shut the fuck up. So why don't you just go ahead and do that?"

"What's my motivation to shut up?" the Witch asked with a laugh. "I'm either gonna die here or in the EC, so there's no point in trying to 'not make things worse for myself,' you know? So, I feel it's my duty to tell you how vulgar you're being! Objectifying women – not okay. Sexual assault – not okay! Mother of Lurline! Is this how all Gale Forcers act?!"

Holdan stopped the carriage. "Okay, that's enough of that." He climbed into the back of the carriage with the rest of us. "I've got a way to shut you up." Then he proceeded to just about tear apart the carriage, throwing all our stuff around. "Ozdammit! I can't find anything to gag her with! Don't we have some rope or something?"

"I dunno," Cavelish said with a shrug. "Manige was in charge of packing!" Immediately, all eyes were on me.

"Hey, don't look at me!" I exclaimed defensively. "How was I to know we were gonna capture the Witch?!"

Holdan looked about ready to strangle me. "That's why we're out here in the first place, you dingleberry! To capture the Wicked Witch, who is currently driving me up a wall with her gibber gabber!"

"Can't we just knock her out?" Sponge suggested, already getting the butt of his gun ready.

"No! Captain Tigulaar clearly said he wanted her alive and unharmed! What about that is so hard for you to understand?!"

Sponge threw up his hands. "I'm just trying to help! You don't have to-…"

"Oh, boys!" We turned in horror to see the Witch unbound and standing, holding a rope. "I think I found some rope for you." She tossed it to a stunned Holdan and grabbed her spellbook before we could stop her. "Well, it was lovely meeting the four of you, and please give my kindest regards to Captain Tigulaar." And then she ran off, leaving the four of us stunned.

"Shit," Holdan said, speaking for all of us. We dejectedly went back to the Emerald City empty handed.

We told Captain Tigulaar our story, and he completely surprised us by bursting out laughing and saying, "She gives me her regards, does she? Well, that's … that's great." He didn't yell at us for letting her escape or anything. It was really weird.

But not long after, Captain Tigulaar went and betrayed all of us by running off with the Witch. That was a big "aha" moment for us, because it was like, that was the real reason he wanted to find her. To screw her. Sick. But we got the last laugh on him, 'cause we pummeled him to death! I think we all wanted to get back at him, not just for banging the Witch, but also for making us do those awful laps every day.

Then the Witch was killed by that weird kid who's supposed to be from another world or something. She left Oz with the Wizard, leaving Lady Glinda in charge. And it was a good thing that the Witch was dead, but you know what Lady Glinda did almost as soon as she was Throne Minister? She discharged all four of us from the Gale Force! I never saw those guys again. I miss them.

But I decided to actually step up and be a father to my daughter, Zixi. As I watch her learn how to walk and talk and do all that good stuff, I realize that I don't want anything to happen to her. I don't ever want her talked about in the way I talked about women with my friends that day with the Witch. Because the Witch, despite being totally wicked and evil, may have had a point.

Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading! Back to your not so regularly scheduled Motionless updates soon.

Cheers,

Elle Dottore