Many have assumed, in the past, that this story was meant exclusively to bash the character of Lizzie, and to set up my favored pairing of Nigel and Kuki.
Well, there's more to it than that.
In fact, that isn't it at all.
You see, this story was written following the aftermath of a particularly destructive relationship I went through. Nigel, in this story, is entirely analogous to myself. Every feeling he feels, I myself felt. The anger, the helplessness, the depression, all of it. His utter submission to Lizzie also has a real life correspondance. The only difference between him and me is that my retribution was far more subtle and personal in comparison to Nigel's grand and heroic victory.
By the same token, Lizzie's actions are all based on something (or comparable to something) my real-life girlfriend actually did, though often the true story is far different (my girlfriend actually did try to shoot someone, but this was long before she even knew me, so I wasn't involved personally.
Don't feel too sorry for me. I, like Nigel, ended up ultimately dealing with her and the pain she caused (though again, in a far less grandoise fashion). And I, like Nigel, eventually found someone else, someone better.
If this were a straight Kids Next Door fanfic with specific aims, as it has so often been accused of being, then I would agree with critics that the plot is absurd or that Lizzie's character is taken wildly out of proportion. But this story is not so much a Codename: Kids Next Door fanfic as it is a drama inspired by actual events that just happens to use Codename: Kids Next Door characters in place of real people. I wrote this fanfic primarily as a way of dealing with my own feelings, not for any other purpose. Remember this as you read onward.
Part One: Conflict, the Irresolute
The ground shook violently, causing the five young operatives to lose their balance and fall, though being outdoors they landed on safe grass, thankful for the cover from trees and a nearby haystack as brick and mortar went flying. Numbuh One looked up, ducked again just in time to dodge a plank of wood, and risked another glance. Above him was the latest in a long line of Superchairs developed by Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb, the Chair-O-Tron 0079 With Four Wheel Drive.
Nigel slapped himself, disgustedly saying "Not another blasted robot..."
"Shut up!" Yelled Mr. Fibb, "We wouldn't of had to use this if you would just give me back my super-advanced hair tonic!"
"Oh get real," Nigel responded, "We know this is really some sort of poison that you intend to force on every child in the vicinity! Why should we"
"NIIIIIIIIIIIIGELLLLLLLLLLLLL!"
That shrill scream could only have come from one mouth, a mouth Nigel was all too familiar with as he nervously turned, half-knowing who he would see, half-loving and half-dreading.
"L-L-L-Lizzie!" He stammered. "What a surprise!"
"Can it!" She demanded, marching angrilly across the road, not bothering to look both ways and lucky that both the cars (neither of which she had seen) had stopped just short of hitting her. "You were supposed to go on a date with me today, thirty minutes ago! Where were you?"
"Lizzie, I'm on a mission!"
"You're always on a mission!" She yelled. "Every time we're supposed to be on a date, you're always saying you're on a mission, and if it's not that, it's that you're working on something, and if it's not thatGrrrr... the point is Nigel, that there's no way you could seriously be as busy as you expect me to believe!"
Upon hearing this, his fellow operatives became angered, and some nearly attacked her, but Nigel raised his hand to stay theirs. "You know, you're right... it's not like I have a mission every day... and I guess Mr. Fibb's hair tonic isn't such a big deal." With that, much to everyone's dismay, Nigel pulled said tonic out of his pocket and tossed it back to Mr. Fibb.
"Thank you," said the Walrusoid one, before the chair shrank into obscurity behind the wall of the now-unroofed building.
"So, where did you say we were going?" Nigel asked, grabbing Lizzie's arm as the two began walking back across the street, causing even more cars to stop suddenly, and leaving four confused and irritated operatives standing on the former grounds of battle.
The supposed "Date" itself had really been quite meagerin fact, the only thing they had done was gone to a nearby restaurant for a bite to eat. They had enjoyed themselves and the restaurant's music (not to mention it's food) but all things had to end. This did. Then they recieved the check.
"Oh my," Nigel said with an obvious note of dismay. "I never knew quite how expensive this place was." Though I probably should, I've been here dozens of times. And I eat so little, too. These thoughts he blocked out of his mind as soon as he saw Lizzie make a motion.
"It's all right," she said, "My dad gave me his credit card and"
"No, I'll put this on the Kids Next Door account." with this, he grabbed the bill and the two went to the front, where Nigel handed over his KND charge card. The cashier ran it through the scanner, then handed the object back, nodding that Nigel had payed his dues and was cleared to go. Thus, grabbing Lizzie's offered hand, the two left and enjoyed a walk down the lane in the fresh afternoon air, on a beautiful, sunny day.
Just as Nigel was eyeballing a cloud that looked strangely like a Jellyfish, Lizzie broke the thoughtful silence by asking "What do you think of my outfit today, Nigel?"
"Huh?" He looked. In truth, he had not even payed attention to her outfit because she had worn the same yellow shirt and blue skirt combination that she must have multiple pairs of at home. She should really wear something that doesn't show off her flaws so readily, he thought, before realizing his thoughts with a shock. What am I thinking? Am I so shallow that I judge women solely by their looks? Heavens no! "You look great as usual, Lizzie!" He finally answered, much to the redhead's pleasure.
"Oh Nigey..."
Finally however, Nigel dropped Lizzie off back home, and then made his way back home, feeling great!... or did he? Somehow, as soon as he began climbing the ladder, his thoughts darkened once more. For some reason, he found himself being annoyed. Annoyed that the KND dragged him away from Lizzie, annoyed at having to go on missions. Annoyed at the inevitable pestering he would recieve. Annoyed that the restaurant had been so expensive.
Annoyed that as soon as he opened the door, a young Asian was in his face, yelling "Hiiii!"
"Gah!" he watched her happily back off. "Numbuh Three, can't you ever greet me in a normal fashion!"
"Well," her attitude became quite smarmy as she smirked at him and waved a sleeved finger, "You should know before you go in that the others, particularly Numbuh Five, are quite upset with you right now. They weren't too happy with the way you walked out on them in the middle of a mission."
"Psh, it figures." Nigel let his arm slumped as he looked angrily towards the ground. Kuki softly giggled off to his side, causing him to glance at her. "And what about you? Aren't you going to #& at me too?"
This stopped the giggle, and Kuki looked at him in pure, utter shock. Only then did he realize what he had said.
"Excuse me, I didn't mean to put it like that."
And then her gave softened, and in fact turned almost sympathetic. "Why are you upset? Did... Did Lizzie...?"
"No, nothing like that. It's just the price of the restaurants she takes me to, that's all."
Kuki's face instantly came alight with smiles, and she said "Oh is that all?" she giggled a bit more, then asked "Still on for the movie tonight?"
"What?"
"Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. You said you wanted to show it to me today."
"Oh that's right!" He clapped his hands together. This was perfect, watching his favorite movie is just the thing he needs to clear out this residual anger! But first he needed to clear up something. "All right, I'm still on for it. But first I need to talk to Numbuh Five. She's in her room, right?"
"Yep."
"Okay, wait right here."
Nigel patted her shoulder and then began walking towards Abby's area of residence as Kuki took a seat on the sofa.
As the door slid open, Nigel began to wonder if going into her room wasn't a mistake. Besides being where Abby sleeps, the room was also a general hang-out, and certainly the most attractive room in the whole house. It had a very old-time charm about it, and served as a place for the five of them to share discussions over such important topics as "Is it morally right to bite the heads off of chocolate bunnies?" or "Who'se better, Indiana Jones or Harry Potter?"
The moment Nigel walked into view, the discussion stopped as all eyes were on him. Abby was the last to see him, her back being to him, but she turned and looked when the silence came. With an angry look she began, "Well well well, if it ain't lover-boy..."
"Look guys, I'm sorry about what happened today, but"
"But nothin'!" Abby stood abruptly. "You abandoned the mission!"
"Okay okay, I know! I was wrong! Geez, I said I was sorry! Anyway, it was a first-time offense!"
And at that, Abby looked him in the eye suspiciously. "So you ain't gonna pull that little numbuh again?"
Nigel sighed. "I promise it won't happen again! I won't abandon missions in favor of Lizzie. All right?"
"That a promise?"
Nigel sighed. "Yes!"
"All right."
And the two looked at each other, Abby with distrust, Nigel with irritation, until finally Nigel got fed up with it and left the room without another word.
Kuki watched with concern as an irritated Nigel came out of Abby's room, and tried to pull on his hair before his hands gripped and remembered that he didn't have any hair, so he simply plopped himself down next to Kuki and let out a breath that sounded more like a grunt. His eyes were closed in contemplation, but his mouth held a scowl.
Kuki thought she understood, and in her naivette, hugged him.
He opened his eyes in surprise. Seeing this, he let out a sigh and reached his arm around to pat her shoulder. Then a memory burst into his brain. "Oh," he stated as he stood, "I almost forgot. Wait here a moment."
This time he left to his room and returned with his tape of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
The two had sat and watched in almost total silence, up until the dogfight between the Enterprise and the Klingon ship, at which point a door slid open, and the three in Abby's room went to their own rooms, save for Abby herself, who watched the other two boys leave and then looked towards the sofa, seeing Kuki and Nigel totally caught up in the movie. Quietly she took her place next to the two of them, but decided to join in as the tranquility was really too good to interrupt.
It wasn't until the credits rolled that Abby said anything.
"Look man, I'm sorry about"
"Save it." He held up his hand. "You were right. I shouldn't have dumped the mission like that. Next time I'll try to make Lizzie understand that you can't just go on dates all the time."
At that Abby smiled, and said no more. Nigel turned his attention towards Numbuh Three. "So what did you think?"
"It was great!" she exclaimed. "Let's watch it again!"
"No thanks." Nigel smiled as he took off and cleaned his shades with his shirt. "I make it a rule never to watch the same movie twice in a row."
She giggled, for both knew that she wasn't being serious. Then, confirming her goodwill, she once more hugged him, and he once more patted her on the shoulder.
To be continued...