A/N – Okay, so this is my first time writing Faberry…so go easy on me. However, this is not my first time writing Glee, or fanfiction at all, for that matter, so have faith in me. :P But yeah, so, this fic is based on the 1987 movie Can't Buy Me Love with Patrick Dempsey and Amanda Peterson. It's a great movie, you should watch it – but you don't necessarily have to watch it before reading this. So let's get on with the show! Almost forgot –
Disclaimer: Glee isn't mine.
The day was finally here. Rachel could barely contain her excitement as she walked down to the cafeteria for her lunch period, a visible spring in her step. A huge smile was on her face and she was wearing her favorite kitten sweater. It was obviously the most perfect –
What felt like a bitch-slap from an iceberg suddenly hit Rachel's face and she cringed, not wanting to look up. The laughing that emerged from the slushie's throwers slowly faded away as they sauntered down the hall in her opposite direction.
She sighed, opening her eyes and wiping some of the red substance off of her face. With a huff, she stormed off into the nearest bathroom, not happy that her parade was most certainly rained on and that her lunch period would most likely be nonexistent.
Rachel grabbed a few paper towels and started scrubbing her sweater clean. This was the second time this week that Karofsky had ruined one of her favorite items of clothing! Didn't he understand how precious animal garments were?
She jerked her head towards the door as it swung open, and she was pleased to see her best friend Tina enter. She was surprised, however, to see that Tina had been slushied as well. Honestly, she thought, is there no mercy?
"Hey, Tina," she greeted with an out-of-character head nod.
Tina smiled. "Hey, Rachel." Her facial expression changed, "Oh no, they got you too?" She grabbed a few paper towels from Rachel's stack of them on top of the sink.
Rachel nodded vengefully. "Of course. Another sweater ruined."
"It's a shame; that one's actually not that bad."
A smile grew on Rachel's face at her friend's compliment. "Well, thank you, Tina. It's a pleasure to know that my fashion is appreciated."
The other girl nodded in return and took a break from wiping herself off. "So what were you so happy about this morning?"
A gigantic grin appeared on Rachel's face. "Oh! I should have explained earlier – I'm purchasing sheet music for Can't Buy Me Love by The Beatles this afternoon!"
Tina's reaction wasn't as ecstatic as Rachel had expected. "Okay, and…?"
The brunette rolled her eyes and continued, "It's the original sheet music! It has the handwriting of all of the band members on it, with the first-written, unchanged lyrics! It's going to cost me a thousand dollars, but it's completely worth it." The smile returned to her face momentarily.
Tina's eyes widened, impressed. "Wow!"
"I know!" Rachel replied. "I am utterly excited."
The two girls continued to clean themselves off until Tina interrupted the silence with, "I can't take these stupid slushies anymore. What did we ever do to deserve them?"
"I know what you mean…Wouldn't it be great if we were popular?" Rachel lingered on the idea for a moment, a far-off look on her face.
Tina laughed, bits of slushie flying off her face in every direction. "Good one, Rach. Like that'd ever happen."
Rachel threw her dirty paper towel into the nearest trashcan with a diva-like force and looked back at Tina. "I'm serious. It would solve all of our problems…no slushies, no name-calling…and glee club would actually be cool!" It was the first time she had really expressed her dream of popularity aloud, but the longing for it had been there forever.
Tina sighed and the look on her face showed she was considering it. "Well, Rachel, I mean…yeah, of course it'd be awesome, but it would never happen. We're always going to be stuck on the bottom rung of the social ladder at McKinley. Someone's gotta be the losers; might as well be us."
"And I get that. But wouldn't you love to have the life of…oh, I don't know…Quinn Fabray?" Rachel shrugged. "I mean, look at her. She's…gorgeous" – and that was something Rachel was not about to deny – "and she gets all the great guys, she's head cheerleader, she's got a lot of friends…and I doubt she's ever been slushied. Wouldn't that be amazing?"
Tina still looked wary. "I don't know, Rachel. It's a long shot, for sure. But you know…maybe someday, huh?" She checked her watch and jumped, and Rachel raised her eyebrow. "I have to go meet Artie for lunch. I'm sorry, I'll see you later?"
Rachel nodded with a small smile as she watched her friend go. She loved the fact that Tina was happy, but she wished she could have a boyfriend, or at least someone, as well. It would be nice to have someone who adored her for who she was – plaid skirts and cat sweaters and sheet music and all.
She finished cleaning the slushie off of herself, and, sighing, headed for her next class, not exactly as chipper as she had been that morning.
-RQ-
The day finally ended on a high note – literally – as Rachel's last period class was glee, and she had gotten many compliments on her rendition of I'm Not That Girl from her favorite musical, Wicked. The day was indeed getting better and better when Karofsky passed right by her in the hallway, slushie in hand. She wasn't exactly fond of the fact that he had gone on to slushie her dear friend Kurt, but being blatantly spared was reassuring, as she had not been before.
Now, she shut her locker and zipped her pea coat up as quickly as she could, and hurried out the door towards the parking lot. The early January cold barely affected her, as she was so ecstatic now, and who could blame her? She was only getting the original lyrics of one of the first songs of the greatest band ever! It was hardly "no big deal".
Rachel got into her car and started up the engine, still grinning. According to her GPS, the Lima Mall was only ten miles away, and if Spin, the music store from which she was acquiring the lyrics, was on the second floor on the far left after you go up the third staircase, she would get there in approximately twelve minutes. Perfect.
Eight minutes later, Rachel was ahead of her schedule and racing up the third staircase, just as she had planned. She reached the peak of what seemed like the mountain of stairs, and the glowing red sign of Spin was fully in her sights. She gave an excited squeal and hurried into the store.
"Hello, Isaiah!" Rachel called out as she stepped into the store. She smiled at the tinkling of the bells taped to the door; those had been there for years, and reminded her of when her dads would bring her here when she was younger.
"Rachel!" a deep voice responded, and almost immediately, its face was revealed as Isaiah Jacobsen stepped out from behind a large pile of orderly stacked CDs. She grinned at the sight of her favorite music shop owner, which wasn't saying much, since he was the only one she knew, but he still made the list of her favorite people ever.
"Do you have it?" She asked coyly, biting her lip. She already knew the answer to her question, but she was looking for an excuse to feel excited again.
Isaiah nodded and held up one finger, signaling for her to wait. He ducked under the tall front counter, making noises as he rummaged. Rachel beamed when she heard, "Aha! Here it is," and he showed himself again.
"Now, Rachel, I assure you know the cost of this, am I right?" Isaiah asked, and when she nodded eagerly, he continued, "Okay, then I should probably inform you that this item has another suitor who is looking to buy it for the same price if you change your mind."
Rachel gasped. "Of course I won't change my mind! I've been looking forward to buying this for ages. I am completely set on it, Isaiah, don't you worry."
A smile warmed on the man's face and he began to unfold the papers in front of them. "Great! Now, all you need to—" A loud, distant shriek startled the both of them, causing Isaiah to mess up his pile of papers. "Oh, dear," he fretted.
Rachel looked around, searching for the source of the scream. It wasn't from inside the store, that was for sure…maybe it was from another?
She found her answer when she spotted, of all people, Quinn Fabray, across the mall in the dry cleaning place, Clean 2 Go. Her face was buried in her reddened face, and Rachel watched her as she drew her hands down from her face, revealing still-flowing tears. Her heart sunk for the cheerleader, and she felt like she should do something.
"Um…Isaiah," Rachel began warily.
He stopped re-organizing the sheet music and raised his eyebrows. "Yes?"
She sighed. "I, uh…I know that girl. The girl over there crying her eyes out in Clean 2 Go," she explained quickly when his expression showed he didn't understand who she meant. "She goes to my school…I feel like I need to help her. I'll be right back." He nodded and she left, running across the mall to the dry cleaning store.
She entered the store cautiously, feeling ironically out of place in her stained sweater. The jazzy elevator music was calming, and made her a little less nervous about what was about to be her first direct, alone encounter with Quinn Fabray. Taking a deep breath, Rachel approached the blond girl and lightly tapped on her shoulder.
"Quinn?" she said softly, and then backed away, afraid she would soon be on the receiving end of a slap.
Instead, she watched Quinn turn around and raise an eyebrow at her. "Who are you?"
Rachel flinched. She was afraid this would happen. "Um, I'm Rachel…Rachel Berry. I go to your school; I'm in your grade. I, uh, I saw you from across the mall – I was over in Spin – and I saw you crying, and, well, I wanted to know if you were okay." She finished with what she hoped would look like a warm smile and not a creepy smirk.
"Well, thanks, and all, but no, I'm not okay," Quinn snapped, wiping her tear-stained face. "I had just about the most horrible day, and now, it's gotten even worse."
"What happened?" Rachel asked sympathetically.
Quinn sniffed and looked away. "I spilled Gatorade on my Cheerios uniform" – here she gestured to the badly-stained cheerleading skirt and top sitting on the counter top of the dry cleaners' – "and apparently it can't be replaced, because Coach Sylvester is a heinous bitch who 'never sets herself or her cheerleaders' up for failure, so, I've destroyed my only uniform." She was facing Rachel now, so the brunette was fully aware of the tear making its way down Quinn's face.
"Well…can't you just get it cleaned?" Rachel was searching for options in her mind, determined to find a solution.
Quinn rolled her eyes. "Yeah, for a thousand dollars. Apparently it's 'precious fabric'. I'm completely broke, which means I am completely screwed." She sighed and plopped herself down on the bench near the counter.
Rachel's heart started to pound rapidly as an idea flowed through her brain. She wasn't completely sure it would work, but she sure could take a shot at it. "I'll pay for it," she blurted.
The blond girl looked up at her, not taking her seriously. "Yeah, right. I assume you just carry a thousand dollars around with you at all times? Good one." She snorted.
Rachel wordlessly pulled the wad of cash – one thousand dollars worth of it, in fact – out of the pocket of her corduroys and held it in front of Quinn's face. She watched the girl's hazel eyes grow to an abnormal size and smirked, knowing that would work.
"O-oh my God! Sweet, thanks!" The cheerleader instantly grabbed for the money, but Rachel pulled it back before she could get a clean grip on it.
"You want me to pay for your Cheerios uniform?" Rachel asked schemingly.
Quinn nodded. "Of course."
Rachel leaned in, dangerously close to Quinn's face, and uttered, "Date me." She straightened herself up and raised an eyebrow, feeling as badass as badasses go.
"Are you crazy?" The other girl screeched, her eyes popping out. "I – I don't even know you, and you want me to date you?"
"Shhh, shhh!" Rachel hissed, sitting down next to Quinn. "Listen – I'll pay for your uniform, no questions asked. Then you pretend to like me and we date for a month, I'll get popular, we dramatically break up at the end of the month, and we'll go our separate ways. It's completely fool-proof!" She couldn't believe how clever this idea was – it was the perfect way to gain popularity!
"Oh, sure, sounds perfect," Quinn started out sarcastically. "Only one problem. I'M NOT A LESBIAN!"
Rachel rolled her eyes. "And neither am I. But don't you think people will think it's so cool and forward for Quinn Fabray to be dating a girl before everyone else is?" She saw consideration pass over the girl's face, but there was no response yet, so she continued, "And believe me, I don't want to date you any more than you want to date me, but it's the only hope we've got. You'll be in good graces with Coach Sylvester and have a clean uniform, I won't get slushied anymore, everybody wins!"
Quinn narrowed her eyes at the tiny brunette sitting next to her. "Okay…fine. But we need to lay down some rules."
Rachel nodded in agreement. "Go for it."
"Okay, absolutely under no circumstances will there be any kissing. Or touching. Hugging is fine…hand-holding is under consideration. You can eat lunch with me every day, but no talk about your musicals and singing and stuff. We go on a date every Friday to a place of my choice, but I'll buy dinner at the place of your choice. If someone asks if you're my girlfriend, you say yes, but no making up stories. Oh, and the most important rule? No more animal sweaters."
Rachel frowned. "No more animal sweaters?" She was certainly going to miss them.
"Absolutely no animal sweaters, and that's final."
"What can I wear then?"
Quinn thought for a moment, and then said, "I've got it under control." She checked her watch and gasped. "Oh, God, I've gotta be home in twenty minutes. Can I have the money?"
Rachel nodded and placed the bundle of cash into the blond's eager hand. "Here you go."
"Okay, thank you so much! I'll see you on Monday with your new clothes, Rhonda!" Quinn waved to Rachel with a small smile.
Rachel started to leave the dry cleaning place, but turned on her heel right before emerging out of the doors. "Oh, and Quinn?"
"Yes?"
"My name's Rachel."
"Right. See you Monday, Rachel."
Rachel rolled her eyes and she walked out of the store. She looked over to Spin with longing, but decided against going over to explain everything; it was too complicated. As she strolled about the mall, a very familiar song came on the overhead radio and she groaned.
Can't buy me love, love
Can't buy me love
I'll buy you a diamond ring, my friend,
If it makes you feel all right
Guess that's karma for you.
A/N – I hope you liked it! Like I said in the description, it's slightly AU – so that means no Babygate, and Quinn's not in Glee club, nor are Brittany, Santana, Finn, Puck, Mike, or Matt. Let's just say there are seven random WMHS students in glee to replace them, lol. I know Rachel's probably not a Beatles fan (at least there's never been a mention of her liking them), but I thought it'd be cool if the sheet music she was trying to buy was Can't Buy Me Love :P Reviews are love!
- diannacharlie