The Princess and the King's Guard

Claude had always been one to hide her true feelings.

She felt too passionately, she had a temper, she was quick to fall too hard. She was hurt easily. Her mother had burned her all her life - Claude was no fool, she had always known that Catherine did not love her as much as she loved her other children. It did hurt, but she hid that behind scathing words, a sharp tongue, and misbehavior that was designed only to infuriate her mother (to gain her attention, really, but that was a thought that Claude dismissed as soon as she had it).

She flirted with all kinds of boys, from nobility to servants, although the latter were less likely to keep her attention. She didn't truly feel for any of them, not really (there was only one, Lyon, and he took her heart and stomped on it until it lay in dozens of tiny pieces, and she was so careful to lock it up after that). Life was a game for her. Everything was an adventure. Mother thinks he's a bad influence because of that incident in Rome. Or maybe it was the party in Dijon. But everyone found their clothes eventually, and the ambassador agreed not to mention it.

All this was true until she met Leith Bayard. A mere servant turned king's guard, only due to the favor of her brother, and as luck would have it, he was promoted to being her personal guard. She wouldn't admit it, not at first, but Leith stirred something in her that she had never felt before.

So, she was cruel to him, at least in the beginning. You are nothing but a guard who's life I now control! She didn't want to feel for him. He wasn't nobility, nor was he even wealthy, and while she was prone to wanting things she could not have, Claude was not stupid. She knew that she would never be able to marry him. Even Francis, who seemed so fond of him, would not think him worthy of a princess.

And besides that, Claude was first and foremost a rebel. She went for boys and men who would displease her mother, who had a reputation. What can you tell me about Lord Narcisse? Ooh, that bad?

Well, we can tell you he kept his first wife in a cage.

A cage? For erotic purposes?

Leith was a good man. She didn't like good people. Her mother would disapprove, but she would not be upset, because he didn't have a reputation for bewitching or hurting girls.

And yet, she found herself falling for him. One day, under the influence of too much wine and emotional stress, she had nearly slipped and told him as much. I get into trouble. I only want things that I can't have. But that could change. You seem a good sort of fellow, other than the whores knowing you. Claude said all those things, but what she meant was, please tell me you feel the way I do about you.

But he didn't. Only looked at her akin with something to pity, and then, Their madam and I are together.

She scoffed. Tossed her head, but never looked him in the eyes. She was an expert at hiding how she felt, and that wouldn't change just because he had just crushed her. So much for breaking a pattern.

Until he came to love her too. Claude had never been happier than she was when she was with Leith - and that scared her. She hadn't forgotten that she would never truly be able to have him. So she pushed him away, even as her heart screamed for her to draw him back and go running into his arms. Love wasn't in the cards for loyalty. It would only hurt them both in the long run.

You just don't understand! I'm a princess. I can't just throw my fate to the wind for someone...

Beneath you? She didn't know if it hurt her more to see his pain or the fact that he didn't even look surprised.

I didn't make up the rules.

Until she spoke to Greer, she was quite convinced that she had done the right thing. She pretended that she wasn't jealous of the love Leith and Greer had once shared. After all, she had been the one to push him away.

Greer told her, Last time I spoke to Leith, he seemed quite smitten with you.

Well...he hates me now. It all seemed to be going well! And then we were about to ...you know. And I just felt angry all of a sudden. Like I needed to protect myself.

Well, if you're protecting yourself then it sounds like you're afraid of something.

Of course I'm afraid. I convinced him that it would be casual, that I wouldn't break his heart like you did. But...but what about my heart?

You are falling in love with him and you're afraid it will end.

Brought back to her senses, she went back to Leith. He forgave her, because he always did.

They were happy.

He proposed to her.

There's only one way to protect you from marrying someone you don't want. Marry me.

Leith...

I will rise in station until I am a candidate fit to marry a princess. I don't know how, but I'll do it. I will.

I believe you, my love.

She dreamed of the life they could have together.

He received her mother's blessing.

Leith, protect my daughter. Cling to each other. May you have a long and happy life.

They were going to be married. It was going to happen. She didn't have to fear anymore.

And then he had to go away to fight in a battle. She wasn't afraid, not really. She knew that he would come back.

Well, I have a reason to come back here quickly and all in one piece. For our wedding, he had told her, grinning, his eyes twinkling at her as they so often did.

The problem was, he didn't.

They found him dead in the snow at the encampment weeks later. He had been stabbed in the chest, left to bleed out.

And Claude thought she would surely die right along with him. She cried and cried until she had no more tears left, and when it is all over, she thought back to her conversation with Greer - but what about my heart? - and realized she had been right to fear for her own heart. Happiness would something that rulers could not have.

But it had been worth it.

He had been worth it.

And she had no regrets over letting those walls down.