Cheeriosity
Characters/Pairings: Sue, Brittany/Santana, Sugar, Quinn/Jesse, Beth, Rachel, Harmony, Mercedes/Sam, Aphasia, Kurt, Rory
Summary: Sue Sylvester didn't become the biggest name in the dance world by going easy on her students, but now that some of her former stars have enrolled their kids in her class, the shit's about to hit the fan.
A/N: Molly watches too much Dance Moms. So she made me write this.
"5, 6, 7, 8," Sue counts, snapping with the rhythm. To the untrained eye, this routine was perfect. But Sue knew better. "Stop! Dammit, Rory, by your age your father was already playing Billy Elliot. On Broadway. You have half of his DNA so you'd think you would've at least inherited some of his talent!"
"I'm sorry," an eleven year old Rory apologizes. "I just get mixed up when–"
"I'm going to stop you right there," Sue bellows. "You know how your father got where he is today? It's because of me. All the talent in the world means nothing if you don't know the right people."
On the other side of the glass window, Kurt Hummel fumes. Since parents are forbidden from sitting in on rehearsal, he can only watch from afar as his son is berated by his former instructor. "He wasn't off by more than half a beat," Kurt says.
"Face it. Your kid sucks," Santana Lopez taunts from the row behind him. Kurt glares at her, but she only shrugs.
"You're lazier than your mother!" Sue shouts at Aphasia.
Mercedes Jones stands up. "Oh hell no!"
"Relax," Santana says. Mercedes is her best friend when it comes to the other dance moms, but even they don't always see eye to eye.
"And you! Don't take after your mother," Sue tells Beth, "otherwise I'll be teaching a third generation of inbreds. I mean Fabrays."
Quinn Fabray stops reading her book. "I can't believe she's still allowed to teach children."
"So why do you keep Beth in lessons if you hate Sue so much?" Santana asks.
Quinn glances over at Rachel Berry, who is watching her daughter closely. "My husband thinks it builds character," she lies, but the real reason is sitting two seats to her left.
"And how is Jesse?" Santana says, feigning interest. "God, we haven't seen him in ages. Are you two having trouble?"
"Mind your own business," Rachel snaps, defending Quinn. Being a divorcee herself, Rachel had long suspected Quinn and Jesse were having marital problems.
"Mona," Sue says, addressing Harmony. "I don't care how great you think your voice is; do not sing along with the music."
Rachel scoffs at Sue's comment. "That was just uncalled for."
"No it wasn't," Santana replies breezily.
"Last but not least," Sue says, rounding on Sugar, who tries to hide her phone behind her back. "There is no sexting in my dance rehearsal, you hear me?"
"What's sexting?" Sugar asks. She's only ten after all.
Sue yanks the cell phone from the girl's hand and throws it against the wall, causing it to shatter into at least four different pieces. "Which one of your mothers did you stumble out of?" she demands.
"My mama," Sugar says. "Brittany," she clarifies.
"I should've known. No wonder I hate you so much," Sue spits.
Now it's Santana's turn to be enraged. "That bitch!" she roars. The other moms and Kurt try to calm her down to no avail. She's livid. "Nobody insults my family!"
Sue has always disliked her wife since the time they were fourteen years old and Brittany danced with Cheeriosity's rival company. Sue still can't stand the sight of her, which is why Santana is forced to sit through many a practice on her own and why she chooses to pick on the other parents.
By the end of the rehearsal, Sue's at her wit's end. "Ladies," she says to the class, ignoring Rory's confused look, "that was the most pathetic excuse for dancing I've ever seen. And I've given Sugar private lessons for years!"
Kurt laughs, but stops short once he realizes once Sue's said. "Wait – you're paying for private lessons?" he asks Santana. "How'd you get Sue to agree to that?"
"Don't have a hissy fit 'cause I thought of it first," Santana replies coolly. "All I had to do was flash my checkbook at her."
"Well, if Sugar's getting privates, then so should Harmony since she's the star of the group," Rachel says. "How much do you pay, Santana?"
Santana crosses her arms. "I'm not sure a single mother such as yourself could afford it."
"I can't believe you kept this from me. We could've at least gone halfsies!" Mercedes says.
"Listen, I want your kid to succeed and all that jazz, but I had an opportunity to give Sugar the edge so I took it," Santana says. "You can't blame me for that."
"Santana, Sugar's still the worst in the group," Quinn points out.
Kurt nods in agreement. "Face it, your kid sucks," he says, repeating Santana's words from earlier.
"None of them compare to Harmony so I don't know why we're even having this conversation," Rachel says. "Beth's as close as they come…"
"Thank you," says Quinn.
"…and even she's a distant second."
Quinn frowns.
Sue chooses that moment to barge in the door. "Take your kids and get the hell out of my studio. All of you. I don't want to see them until we leave for Chicago on Saturday morning."
Rachel, who never took lessons from Sue as a child, says, "So that was the last rehearsal before the competition? It's only Thursday."
Sue gives her a once over. "Do I know her?" she asks Quinn, who nods.
"I'm Harmony's mom–" Rachel begins.
Although Harmony's been taking lessons for three years, Sue seems suspicious. "I never taught you."
"Sue, we've had dozens of conversations–"
"I don't trust people I didn't teach," Sue growls. "Hell, I don't trust people I have taught! Take that traitor, for example." She points to Santana.
"It's been twenty years since I met Brittany. Get over it," Santana argues.
Sue puts her foot down. "I will do no such thing! Okay, Harley's mom, you want another practice? You got it. Four o'clock tomorrow."
Everyone except Rachel groans. "Fantastic!" she says. She pulls Quinn to the side. "Hey, do you think you can give Harmony a ride tomorrow?"
"Sure," a reluctant Quinn says.
"Great! I'll drop her off on my way to work," Rachel says, running her hand down Quinn's arm. "Oh, you don't mind if she also spends the night, do you?"
"No," Quinn stammers. "No, it's totally fine." She's about to extend the invitation to Rachel as well, but she disappears before Quinn can even begin to form the words.
In the dance studio, Santana hands Sugar her winter coat. "Bundle up, Sugar Britches."
"Mami, why do we have practice tomorrow? I wanted to go to the mall," Sugar whines.
Santana kneels down so that she's at eye level with her daughter. "Sugar, baby, you know how Mama always gets upset whenever I spoil you?"
"Yeah, 'cause she makes you sleep on the couch," Sugar says loudly. The other parents snicker to themselves.
"Exactly. If you do better than Harmony Berry this weekend, I'll take you shopping when we get back. And I will buy you a new damn – excuse me, darn – wardrobe. Even if it means I have to sleep on the couch for a whole week," Santana promises.
She holds out her pinkie, which Sugar links with her own. "I'm gonna want a new cell phone, too," Sugar bargains before letting go.
"Aphasia, time to leave," Mercedes calls to her daughter.
"Where's Mister Evans?" Aphasia says, placing one hand on her hip.
"Your stepfather is waiting for us at home and for the last time, he told you to call him Sam," Mercedes scolds.
"I don't have to do what he says. He ain't my daddy."
Mercedes sighs. "I need a Valium."
"Dad?" Rory says, approaching his father. "I don't know if I'm cut out to be a dancer."
Kurt rubs his temples. "Just give it a chance," he begs. "You like hanging out with the girls in your class, don't you?"
Rory blushes, glancing over at Sugar. "They're okay," he says, trying to appear disinterested. "For girls."
"Dinner, homework, vocal exercises, bed," Rachel recites to her daughter.
Harmony perks up. "I'm already done with my homework. Can I watch TV instead?"
"Only for thirty minutes. Then you can brush Mommy's hair," Rachel smiles.
Harmony claps.
Out in the hallway, Quinn waves to Mercedes and Santana while she waits for Beth to finish tying her shoes. "What do you wanna do tonight?" she asks.
"I could brush your hair," Beth jokes, and they share a laugh until she gets a serious look on her face. "Daddy's not coming home again, is he?"
Quinn kisses her forehead. "I don't think so, baby."
Beth shrugs. "Pizza and ice cream?" she suggests hopefully.
"Sounds good to me, kiddo."